What Becomes Of Us (An Anthology)

I Loved Her First - 2

Richt

"Richt, ano ba yan? Pang-sampung salang na natin to. Di ka pa rin nakakalagpas sa first stanza. Ano bang nangyayari sa'yo? Hindi ka naman ganyan dati. Hay naku! Break muna." Dan, my record producer complained.

I slumped back on a stool and rubbed my temples as he walked out and Tim, my handler approached me.

"Si Maia ano?" He asked.

I did not answer. Instead, I breathed a frustrated sigh.

"Richt, you can't keep being like this. So umalis siya. Iniwan ka. Di pinansin yung grand gesture mo pero please naman. Mag-move on ka na. One week na din yun. Napag-piyestahan at nakalimutan na ng lahat, nandiyan ka pa rin. Tulala. Wala sa sarili. Naiinis na mga tao sa'yo. If not for your spotless reputation sa pagiging professional mo at magaling sa trabaho marami nang bumitaw. Wag, Richt. Alam nating dalawa kung gaano kahalaga ang trabaho mo sa'yo." Tim said.

"Alam ko. Sorry, Tim, pero di ko na alam ngayon kung paano ko pa siya kakausapin pagkatapos ng nangyari. I only hurt her more. Why do I keep hurting the one person I love the most? Paano akong naging ganoon katanga?"

"Masakit? Mas nasasaktan ka dahil nasaktan mo siya? Mas nasasaktan ka dahil naba-bash siya at kasalanan mo? Gusto mong balikan ka niya? Gusto mong patawarin ka?"

I quietly nodded my head.

"Eh di umayos ka. Ligawan mo ulit."

"Hindi nga ako makalapit. Ayaw nga sagutin ang mga tawag ko. How can I reach her when she shut me out?"

"Ito oh. Sakto ito." Tim said, showing me the music sheet on the stand beside me. "Record this. Sing it like you're singing it to her. Kilala ko si Maia. Mahal ko din yung batang yun na parang kapatid ko and from what I saw nung lumingon siya. She still loves you. She'll listen. Believe me. She will."

Just then, Dan walked back in and cued for everyone to get ready. And so I did.

The moment the first note played, I envisioned Maia like she was standing in front of me. I remembered that night when she looked back and the look in her eyes then I imagined singing the song On Bended Knee by Boyz II Men to her, with all my heart, appealing for her forgiveness, making it all okay. 

Darlin' I can't explain

Where did we lose our way

Girl it's drivin' me insane

And I know I just need one more chance

To prove my love to you

If you come back to me

I'll guarantee

That I'll never let you go

***

Richt

"Maia... I still love you. Please come back." I remembered whispering those words that night.

I knew she heard, I knew everyone heard and I prayed that she would spare me just one more glance.

She stopped and turned.

And as soon as she did, I knew I made a terrible mistake.

She looked at me with eyes full of sadness, regret and pain. She gazed at me with pleading eyes as I stood frozen by those brown orbs that still mesmerized me. She shook her head and whispered a plea that I still heard from where I was in the hushed room as everyone watched.

"Please don't do this." Maia said as a lone tear trickled down her cheek.

She quickly brushed it off and ran away with Caleb quickly on her heels.

A tense silence filled the venue while the reporters started texting on their phones and sending the videos they took of that moment.

I knew then that I only made things worse. I knew how Maia hated for our personal issues to be shown in public and I just opened it all for everyone to see and worse I opened an avenue for speculations and false rumors.

I knew then that I seriously f****d up all our chances of reconciliation.

Maia Maze: The Ice Queen

Richt Adams Dumped After A Bold Move To Win His Love Back

It's A NO: No Chance For MaRich Reunion

Maia Runs Off With Another Man, Richt Left Brokenhearted

Our names filled the headlines from broadsheets to tabloids to blogs. I became the romantic hero while Maia was hated for walking out.

I screwed up again. I screwed US up again.

And once again, I caused her pain, the one thing that I never wanted to do to Maia.

All because I was too selfish, too careless and too stupid to control my emotions.

***

Can we go back to the days our love was strong

Can you tell me how a perfect love goes wrong

Can somebody tell me how to get things back

The way they used to be

Oh God give me a reason

I'm down on bended knee

I'll never walk again until you come back to me

I'm down on bended knee 

***

Maia

I had to take leave from work for a week after that night. All the hate and bashing made my management wary and they worried someone might attack me at a more physical level.

I took that time to go home.

No, not the house Richt and I shared. I haven't been there for a while. Not since I've given up all hope of him coming back two months ago.

I shut off from the world.

I stayed in my old room in my parent’s house all day. No social media. No television. No visitors. No phones.

My sole companion was a notebook and a pen where I wrote all my thoughts and feelings, mostly of Richt, of the home we built and the future we dreamt together.

I thought about how they were all wasted and how he could just give it all up.

I remembered that night, how his whisper filled the whole room of the words I longed to hear, five months too late.

I thought about how everything has changed since I met him, how a phenomenon catapulted both our careers that fulfilled my secret dream of being an actress and how all those took a toll on my personal life and our personal relationship.

Then I realized I liked the silence. I found solace in my isolation.

So in that week, I made a decision that I know will give me the peace of mind I always wanted.

***

So many nights I dreamt

Holding my pillow tight

I know that I don't need to be alone

When I open up my eyes

To face reality

Every moment without you

It seems like eternity

I'm begging you, begging you come back to me

***

Maia

I sat in the dressing room, ready to talk to the big boss about my decision two weeks later.

The news of how I walked out on Richt eventually died down and it was time for me to start regaining myself, my old life, my precious isolation.

I was ready to let it all go, including Richt and move on when his song started playing from one of my co-host's phone.

"Uy, yan ba yung sa bagong album ni Richt?"

"Oh my God! Boyz II Men! Ang ganda."

"Damang-dama. Ang lalim ng hugot. Parang may kinakantahan."

Yes, I felt those darting stares and those fishing comments meant to catch my reaction. They all knew how transparent I am when it came to that.

And as soon as they caught it, they fell silent and started crowding around me.

A pat here. An encouraging whisper there. A rub on my shoulder. A hug.

All showed me how much they cared and how I was not alone as I let the tears flow, as I let the sobs escape from my suffocating chest, as I realized I couldn't... no matter how much I try... let Richt go. He was still that stubborn thorn stuck in my aching heart.

***

I'm gonna swallow my pride

Say I'm sorry

Stop pointing fingers the blame is on me

I want a new life

And I want it with you

If you feel the same

Don't ever let it go

***

Caleb

I stood by the doorway, watching Maia painfully cry over Richt as our colleagues comforted her.

I clenched my fists as I refused to harbor the growing anger for the man who broke her heart and continued to cause her pain.

And from that moment, I swore that Maia Maze  will never shed a single tear for Richt Adams again.

He won't be able to hurt her again.

I won't let it.