What Becomes Of Us (An Anthology)

I Loved Her First - 3

Richt

It was a Saturday. The day of the week when they feature Maia in a special segment of their variety show. It was where they showcased all her amazing talents, those she had kept under wraps and was too scared or too critical of herself to show. She had since learned to develop them, bravely embrace her full potential and share her talent to the world.

"Richt, tawag ka na sa..." Tim started as he opened the door to my van where I stayed while waiting for them to call me back to the set of my new endorsement shoot.

"Five minutes please..." I appealed as I directed my attention back to the mobile TV installed in the vehicle.

Just then, Maia walked up onstage to a grand piano waiting in the center with a single spotlight focused there.

I held my breath when I saw her gently rub her forefinger to the tip of her nose then to her chest over her heart. It was a secret sign we had back when we were still together to tell the other that whatever song we were singing on stage was dedicated to the other.

Maia was going to sing a song for me.

I was on the edge of my seat, clutching my chest, every second of waiting for Maia felt like forever.

She looked ethereal with her hair set in loose waves which framed her beautiful face with light makeup that gorgeously highlighted her lovely brown eyes and full lips. She was wearing a white chiffon off-shoulder dress and cream stiletto pumps which perfectly featured her silky olive skin and slender body.

Maia sat in front of the piano and started carefully stroking the ivory keys, each note hit perfectly.

She looked like an angel and, with training to enhance her already innate talent, she sang like one too and she has a couple of diamond records to prove that.

Maia’s voice was not your typical powerhouse diva's. Hers was a voice that touched one's soul, one you would listen to like a lullaby, one that could calm a weary person and one that could break a heart especially when she started singing the words to the song she was playing by Christina Perri titled Jar Of Hearts.

I know I can't take one more step towards you

'Cause all that's waiting is regret

Don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore

You lost the love I loved the most

"No. No, Maia. Please don't do this." I whispered, praying, begging, hoping.

I painfully remembered those times when she was too scared to sing onstage and I was right there quietly cheering her on, encouraging her, holding her hand, hugging her. Totally opposed to what I was feeling at that moment.

"Please stop, Babe. Don't do this." I stared at her eyes that were focused on the screen and saw the tears that glinted at the sides of her eyes.

And who do you think you are?

Runnin' 'round leaving scars

Collecting your jar of hearts

And tearing love apart

You're gonna catch a cold

From the ice inside your soul

So don't come back for me

Who do you think you are?

I knew we had broken up a few months ago but somehow, somewhere we have always been us. We were still “US” just waiting for the right time to reunite but right then Maia seemed to be burning bridges with me.

I felt my cheeks dampen with my own tears and the lump in my throat broke into sobs.

"That's it." Tim said and turned the screen off. "Tama na yan, Richt. Tigilan mo na si Maia."

"I can't, Tim. I love her. I love her so much. I can't be without her."

"Mahal mo? Okay, Richt. Sorry ha? Pero ang gago mo kung ganun. Mahal mo pala eh bakit mo pinakawalan? Bakit di mo pa pinupuntahan? Bakit pinatagal mo pa ng ilang buwan bago mo pinaalam sa kanya? Tignan mo ngayon masyado na siyang nasaktan. Ang tigas na ng loob niya pati ako nawalan ng kaibigan." He sighed. "Again, sorry. I needed to tell you that."

"Don't be sorry. Tama ka. Ang gago ko nga."

***

Maia

I took a deep breath and bit my lip, trying to hold back my tears after the song. I didn't think I could do it but I did.

I didn't know if he was watching but I did the sign anyway, I wanted him to know how I felt about everything that happened after we broke up.

I didn't expect the tears, the painful crack in my heart which was like a broken glass that tore through my heart inch by inch with every line I sang to him.

I wanted to hate him, to be over him, to just forget and move on but I couldn't…

I still love him.

No matter how hurt or angry I am, I still do love Richt.

And I couldn't be more reminded of it than that moment because the whole time I was onstage I kept remembering how he held my clammy hand when I first sang an entire song for him on his birthday and how he sat on the floor in front of me and quietly cheered for me when I sang the theme song of our first movie.

I waved to the crowd and walked backstage where one by one I let the tears I was holding back escape. I went straight to the dressing room and sat on the couch, burying my face in my hands, letting the sobs break free. My friends rushed in and hugged me, trying to comfort me but I guess no one could really help me but myself.

I thought I was ready. I thought I had healed but it seemed like I just placed a band-aid over a big gaping wound still throbbing, ready to bleed and hurt like hell.

And it took so long just to feel alright

Remember how to put back the light in my eyes

I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed

'Cause you broke all your promises

And now you're back

You don't get to get me back

Then, after a few minutes, they cleared away and I saw a pair of male sneakers on the floor that I was staring at. I looked up, wiping my tears with my hand.

It was Caleb.

He smiled and handed me a handkerchief. He knelt in front of me and c****d his head to the side then spoke three magical words.

"Ramen for dinner?"

I couldn't help but smile back. Caleb has always been a great friend and he knew exactly how to make me feel better. I nodded my head between sobs.

***

Caleb

Maia had a shoot for her new endorsement after the show. She won't be done until 9pm so we agreed to just meet up at her favorite ramen place in the city.

I found a good spot for us to sit by the window and tried to calm myself down by watching the street outside.

I fidgeted in my seat and drummed my fingers on the table as the minutes dragged on.

"Damn it!"

I cursed under my breath as I looked up.

"Great job, Caleb, for choosing a spot where a huge Richt Adams billboard looms over you."

I was about to stand up to move to another table on the other side of the restaurant. Far... Faaar away from that darned billboard when Maia walked in. She looked around and spotted me.

I froze right where I stood as I watched her, with her beautiful radiant smile, walk in my direction. Her hair was pulled back in a bun. She still had her makeup on from the shoot and she was wearing a black spaghetti-strapped dress. To say she looked gorgeous was an understatement. If not for the white sneakers she wore with them, I would have had the illusion that Maia actually dressed up for me.

"Hey!" She beamed. "Umorder ka na? Sobrang gutom na ako. I didn't eat on the set because I was looking forward to devouring two big bowls of ramen."

She grinned and sat down. "Upo ka na." She said and signaled for the waiter. "Sina Ate Patty pasunod na. Nag-park lang. Weird lang coz they insisted I go ahead and that they will be sitting at another table."

I smiled just seeing her being her usual bubbly self. One of the best things about Maia is her ability to bounce back even from the worst moments. She was serious in ordering two bowls and she did. I chuckled when she shoved the menu in front of me and started pointing at items she thought I would like.

"Tingin mo? Ano? Kumain ka ha? Di naman masisira yang pa-abs mo." She laughed.

"Kahit ano. Orderin mo lahat. Ako bahala." I said just watching her, completely enthralled by her presence.

"Narinig mo, Kuya ha? Mayabang tong rich kid na to eh. Lahat nung tinuro ko, i-oorder niya." She told the waiter with a grin then turned to me after he left. "Ubusin mo ha? Wag kang aarte. Alam mo si..."

She stopped and fell silent. I knew she was about to tell me again that Richt was not a picky eater and would eat anything she ordered and cooked for him.

"Maia..." I said and reached out to pat the back of her hand. "It's okay. You know you can talk to me about anything."

She smiled timidly and sighed. "I know. That's why you're an amazing friend."

"Friend lang ba talaga, Maia?" I asked bravely.

"Caleb... I don't understand. Why are you asking me this?" She gave me a puzzled gaze then looked down.

"Maia, I know you're not over him. I know you still love him. I know people will think of me as the guy taking advantage of another guy's loss but I seriously don't mind that if that gain is you, Maia." I took a deep breath and held her hand tighter.

"What I'm saying is... I really really like you, Maia. I know si Richt pa rin ang nasa puso mo ngayon pero I'm still hoping that you can also think about us."

"Caleb… I like you. You're my friend and right now I can't think of you as anything more than that. Maybe... Someday... Who knows... I just... I've already lost so much. I don't want to lose you too."

"Maia!" A deep angry voice called from behind her and a strong hand pried hers away from mine.

Before we knew it, the man domineeringly pulled her away and started rapidly walking to the exit with Maia staggering to keep up with his pace.

I didn't have to see his face. I knew exactly who that jerk was.

That was Richt Adams.