What Becomes Of Us (An Anthology)

Yellow - 3

As soon as Miara pulled the car over by the driveway, she felt a tug in her chest. The house looked dark and quiet. It was highly unlikely for Kaden to leave the lights off, he would usually turn all the lights in the house on at sunset and play blaring music of their favorite songs while he waited for her to come home.

She would hold his hand and turn the music down then they would go in each room to turn each light off together while he reassured him that as long as he held her hand and listened to her voice, the night wouldn't be so dark and scary. He would close his eyes and smile then touch her face, carefully feeling every detail and capturing them in his mind after that he would kiss her ever so tenderly, casting away all his fears for the night and they would continue to spend a lovely evening together.

Miara came home fifteen minutes later than usual that night. Her "meeting" went well so she decided to pick up a bottle of sparkling wine and Carbonara from his favorite restaurant to celebrate the good news.

"He probably fell asleep while waiting for you." She whispered to herself. "Yes. That's it." She said, trying hard to dismiss what her gut is telling her. Kaden had not answered her call since that afternoon when he was supposed to be back home from his doctor's appointment.

Miara grabbed her purse, the bottle and the take-out bag from the passenger seat. She balanced them on one arm as she opened the door with her keys and turned on the lights in the foyer.

"Love, I'm home." She called.

Miara felt a lump in her throat when she didn't not hear a response. She slowly walked inside the sitting area and turned the light on.

"Kaden? Love? Where are you? Are you still up in your studio?" For some reason she could not understand, she knew she wouldn't hear him answer back and the lump in her throat swelled up to her chest, almost choking her.

Her hands shook so she left the stuff she was holding on the table and carefully made her way to the back porch. Every step she took grew heavier and her heart pounded wildly in her chest.

Even his studio was dark and she felt her knees weaken under her. "Kaden,  please be here." She prayed as an unknown fear washed over her.

She turned on the light and found his phone carefully set on a table beside the painting he just finished. She took the phone and found a note stuck to it in his Dad's handwriting.

"Mara, play the video." It said.

Miara's legs gave way, she fell sitting on the floor and pressed "play" on his phone with violently shaking hands.

The video started with Kaden sitting in his favorite chair, looking out into the sunset with her painting in front of him. She thought she saw his lips curl into a little smile before he sighed and turned to the camera. His eyes were red and swollen, his face was flushed and he looked extremely sad and defeated.

Miara clutched her chest as she felt her heart breaking at the sight. "Oh, Love..." She whispered as tears welled up her eyes.

"Mara… My Lovely Mara..." Kaden said in a tired and hoarse voice, like he had been crying the whole day. He drew a deep breath. Miara felt her heart stop for a second as he did.

"Mara... My love... Starting today, I will go through hell..." He paused and tears flowed from his eyes. She felt her own tears flowing and she let them.

"It will be very difficult. I will not only be blind at night. I will slowly and torturously lose it all. During this time and everyday after that, I will be the worst person you will ever meet. I will be distant and aloof and just plain too hard to deal with. You don't deserve that." He stopped as heavy sobs rocked his shoulders. Miara bit the back of her hand as painful sobs and whimpers escaped her.

"You, my sweet radiant Mara, don't deserve all the crap I let you live with. You have always loved me and took care of me and sacrificed for me, from adjusting your work schedule and cancelling evenings out with your friends so you can stay with me at night, to patiently going through our nightly routine all these years to cast away my fears, to putting up with all my tantrums and mood swings, to making sure I had everything I needed before you leave for work. You are too good for me, Mara. A useless bastard like me doesn't deserve you. I took so much from you already. This relationship has always been about me, about how would Kaden feel? Will Kaden be alright with this? Will this house be safe enough for Kaden? It's time for YOU now." He looked at the camera with pain in his eyes and Miara felt her head tighten and her chest hurt.

"I'm sorry, Love. I won't be able to fulfill my promise for a fairy tale ending. I don't have that... not anymore... all I have is this hell... and I can not let you go through that with me. I can not fulfill our dreams of a happy home with beautiful children. I don't want to inflict them with this curse. You are far too wonderful to live this awful life of tears and pain and sacrifice with me."

He stared straight into the camera and she could feel the deep sadness in his eyes pierce through her soul.

"Miara Daniels, I'm setting you free." He bit his lip hard, trying to suppress a sob. She felt her whole body rock with her own sobs and her tears blurred her vision of him. She violently wiped them away to see him clearly.

"I'm leaving you not because I don't love you anymore. The truth is I love you too much that's why I have to leave you." He took a deep breath and beat his chest finding the courage to continue. Miara clutched her chest and wept.

"Pretty soon, I won't be able to see you anymore and I want my last vision of you to be as happy as you were in this painting. I want to remember you walking away from me with that sly smile and silly laugh as you did this morning. I want to keep you here (pointing to his temple) and here (pointing to his chest) as the warm sunshine in my life. I will always love you. Please don't look for me anymore." He closed his eyes tight and opened them again as he looked directly at the camera. "Goodbye, Mara."

Miara felt the room spin around her as she heard his last statement. She clutched her chest finding it difficult to breathe. She felt her whole body melt in exhaustion as she laid on the floor. And with every heavy beating of her heart, with every sob, with every tear that fell, she could see a piece of her soul being taken away and submitting her to pain until passed out crying on the cold hardwood floor.

***

"Mara, you have to eat." Cara, her sister who moved in with her after Kaden left, said as she placed a tray of food on the bedside table.

Miara rolled to her side and ignored her.

"God damn it, Mara! You have to stop this. It's been three months. You tried everything. You went to his Dad's house and the maid said they left and went to God-knows-where. His Dad cut off his line and Kaden left his phone with you. You won't find him because he doesn't want to be found."

Miara closed her eyes. She didn't need to be reminded of that. Everyday she came up empty handed in her search and a defeat that broke her heart over and over.

Cara sighed and wiped the tears from her eyes, tears she cried for her sister's broken heart "You have to take care of yourself, Mara. It's not just you anymore." She said softly and quietly left the room.

Miara opened her eyes and watched the soft rays of sunlight play on the curtains trying to make their way in. She got up slowly and sat on the bed. She is met by a framed portrait of her and Kaden. It was taken on a boat in Lake Como during their trip there on their fifth anniversary. She was smooching a kiss on his cheek while he giddily winced with his arm around her back holding her close to him.       

"It's not just me anymore..." She whispered, echoing her sister's words. She held her hand out and watched the light dance on her diamond engagement ring. She sighed, unsure on what to do next.

She turned her attention to the food Cara left for her. Her sister prepared some fruits, eggs, toast and milk. She took one more look at the ring and their framed portrait.

"She's right. Kaden is gone and I have to keep on living if only for this someone whose life now depends on me."

***

Ron watched as his son Kaden sat on his bed with Miara's picture clutched to his chest.

Kaden had his eyes closed as he mumbled to himself. "My Mara's hair is long and brown. She has perfectly arched eyebrows and thick fan-like eyelashes with her bright brown eyes. She has a button nose, adorably poised between her high cheekbones. She has full pink lips. All of these are framed by her perfect oval shaped face with a cleft chin. Her neck is smooth and graceful. She had silky olive skin. Her smile is bright and sincere and radiates like the sun." He would smile and open his eyes staring into darkness and then close them again as he repeated what he just said. "Miara's hair is long and brown..."

Six months. Six months was all it took for his son to completely lose his vision. It started with the bright flashes that Kaden complained about almost every hour but he would continue drawing and painting Miara. He drew her in every expression he remembered her to have, smiling, crying, frowning, wacky, angry, surprised.       

"I want to remember what she looks like, Dad. Even long after I lose my vision and all I will ever have are the images of her in my head." Kaden said when he asked him one day. He would just let him paint and draw until the colors didn't blend anymore because Kaden found it hard to determine the shades. He stopped painting after that but continued to sketch day in and day out.

"Kaden, you should rest. Stop straining your eyes." He told his son.

"I will go blind anyway, Dad, but atleast I will still have her face in my memory forever."

How can you tell someone to stop the only thing that consoled him, when he's about to lose it all? So, Ron just let his son sketch and draw as he pleased until the lines eventually got crooked and he couldn't draw anymore.

He watched his son cry everyday for weeks when he finally had to put the pencil down and stop drawing. He could barely see by then, only blurry silhouettes as Kaden would describe.

Until a week later, there was nothing. Nothing he can see anymore... only darkness.

Ron stayed by his son's side and guided him. He helped him through it all even though it broke his heart. He had to stay strong for his son. It was like when Kaden was five and they first found out about his night blindness, only now there was no glimmer of hope for them.

Back then, he was all that Kaden ever needed but at that moment, Ron knew he was no longer who his son needed.

"I'm sorry, son. This has gone far enough. You have to give yourself a chance. You have to give Miara a chance. There could still be a happy life that you can live with her if you just give it a try. You have to give Miara a chance to choose that." Ron said softly from the doorway to Kaden who fell asleep, still holding Miara's photograph to his chest and whispering her name.