Nights Like This

CHAPTER 41

It's our second day here in San Francisco and we all still have a bit of jetlag pero hindi namin hinayaang magpa- talo sa power of bed because sayang ang mga araw. Kahapon, galing kaming Fisherman's Wharf because they wanted to try the clam chowder that I can't and then dumiretso kaming Golden Gates Bridge. It's nice to see places na hindi namin araw araw na nakikita sa Pilipinas.

Hindi lang mata ang mata namin ang busog but also our stomach. Halos wala kaming ibang ginagawa kundi ang kumain, mag lakad lakad, mag picture and when we feel a little hunger, kakain na naman. I seriously need to work out pag uwi ko to maintain my weight.

Panay rin ang face time ni Ate Emilia sa akin. Sa kanya ko kasi iniwan si Coco. If it's just a normal day, kay Mommy ko sya iiwan because she's more than willing pero the situation doesn't allow it.

"You guys are free to do whatever you like this afternoon and then at six we'll go to the Twin Peaks after we go out and have dinner. You guys know that it's better to go there at night so I recommend that," sabi ni Abigail sa amin habang nagliligpit kami ng brunch namin.

She doesn't sleep here. Pumupunta lang sya rito tuwing umaga at umuuwi sa kanila kung pa- uwi na kami.

Malokong tiningnan ako ni Vance.

Kahapon pa 'yan sya. Wala akong ginagawa sa kanya pero bigla bigla na na lang akong ngi- ngisihan whenever Abigail's around.

"Sure, Abi. Let's do that," sagot ko sa kanya habang nilalagay ang mga plato sa lababo.

Abigail smiled at me and nod saka lumabas na rin sya sa kusina.

We all woke up late today because na- ipon yung pagod mula fight hanggang kahapon na wala pa kaming matinong pahinga so we all agreed to sleep in today and recharge. Tutal naman gabi pa ang agenda namin.

I volunteered to wash the dishes because sila na ang nag luto at and did a quick grocery for the ingredients so ito na lang ang ambag ko.

Vance whispered to me my response to Abi, mocking even, nang makita nyang wala na si Abigail sa paningin namin.

Ugh. He's at it again.

"Ano ba, Vance. Kung hindi mo ako tutulungan na mag hugas just get out of my face," naiinis na sabi ko sa kanya.

He chuckled. "Oh bakit ang bait mo na kay Abigail?"

Ipinikit ko ang mata ko at huminga ng malalim ang glared at him.

"Pwede ba?" pagod kong pakiusap sa kanya. "Doon ka na sa sala muna kung aasarin mo lang ako."

I thought na makakalimutan nya na how I acted out that night pero hindi. He just keeps on rubbing it on my face.

"No. Dito nga lang ako sa tabi mo palagi, di ba?"

Kikiligin na sana ako pero mukhang jino- joke time na naman nya ako kaya umurong yung mga paru- paro sa loob ko at kaunti na lang talaga'y kukurutin ko na sya sa inis ko.

"Ewan ko sa 'yo. Bahala ka," pag suko ko at tinago ang maliit na ngiti na bumulaklak sa labi ko.

Ever since that day on the meeting room, I never saw Vance the same way and we never treated each other like before.

The clues are all there. Bulag lang yata ako na hindi ko nakikita noon pero ngayon, malinaw na sa akin ang lahat.

He has feelings for me and he's never vocal about it but it shows. He always finds ways to show me.

Walang friends ang magsasabi sa akin na they want to be the best for me and will do everything to comfort me, and me only if it's never above the friendship.

Lumalabas kami tuwing may free time kami. Minsan naman nasa condo lang kami and I'll just do whatever tuwing nag lalaro sya ng video games.

Amidst of all the chaos that is happening in my life, sya yung kinakapitan ko and I am now sharing small hapiness with him.

Dati, the definition of fun to me is filling myself with alcohol while I am in a club with friends but now, it changed.

Fun to me is when I sit on the counter while I watch him cook, or when we take the kids out on a walk or play with them, or when he's just beside me whispering silly jokes and annoying me.

The best part of my days lately are the moments that includes him.

***

Kaka baba lang namin ng van at wala pa kami sa taas pero pero kita ko na kaagad yung ganda ng lugar. Niyakap ko din kaagad yung sarili ko dahil sa dumaang malakas ng hangin. Buti na lang at nag patong ako ng sweater dahil ang lamig. Kung anong kina init sa umaga ay sya namang kina lamig sa gabi.

Abigail pointed us to a hill na pwedeng akyatin kung saan sabi nya, mas magandang roon kami so we could see the view in it's full glory. Nag lakad kaming dalawa ni Vance pa- punta roon while others remained sa parang observatory kung saan may mga telescope.

"Wow," manghang sabi ko nang makita ang city lights in a far distance.

Sobrang ganda.

Kung iisipin, they're just lights from buildings down there and there's nothing so special about it but it is. It's fascinating.

Because it's dark, the lights are like the stars in the dark night. They shine so bright. They bring light in that cold place.

"Ang ganda di 'ba?" bulong ni Vance na nasa tabi ko na.

"Sobra." Ngumiti ako at tumango nang hindi man lang sys nililingon because my eyes are focused on the beautiful thing down there. "If that is this beautiful at night, I also want to be up here during sunrise and sunsets."

"This is the best for me so far," sabi nya.

Tumango ako. I instantly get what he means by that. "No doubt. Ganito yung mga tipo mong lugar eh. Yung tahimik saka walang masyadong tao."

Natutuwa nya akong tinanguan. "Yup! I just find it more peaceful this way. I don't really like big crowds. You know that."

"Oo. Kaya nga pag nasa labas tayo maya't maya kang nag a- aya na sa condo na lang tayo tumambay."

"Kasi pag nasa loob tayo, mas marami tayong nagagawa ng magkasama and I like it that way. Mas nabibigay ko rin sa 'yo yung attention ko ng buong buo, " paliwanag nya sa akin.

"Hindi ka ba nagsasawa? We're almost together everyday," tanong ko sa kanya.

Usually ganun naman kasi eh. When you both see each other everyday, baka mawala na yung thrill and excitement.

Tinaas ni Vance yung kilay ko na para bang maling mali yung sinabi ko. "Bakit naman ako magsa- sawa kung nilu- look forward ko yung bawat araw na makikita kita?"

"Alam mo ikaw..." parang ang sarap mong mahalin.

Really. He really knows how to make me feel all that buterflies.

"Then let's just stay indoors then," dagdag ko.

Wala namang problema sa akin kung ko naman ang mag a- adjust sa amin. Lagi ko kasi syang niyayaya sa mall or kung saan kasi sabi ko boring pag sa condo lang. Game naman sya lagi. Oo lang sya sa akin palagi.

"No, you like being out. I don't mind going anywhere with you."

Pinilit kong huwag ipakita sa kanya ang pag angat ng sulok ng labi ko. Buti na lang madilim. Hindi nya makikita kung paano ako mamula.

"But I also don't mind staying indoors with you. I actually feel bad na puro yung gusto ko na lang lagi."

"Willing naman akong samahan ka sa lahat ng gusto mo."

"So am I," hindi nagpapa- talo na sagot ko sa kanya.

"Okay. Let's stay indoors more often as much as you like going out."

Natahimik kaming dalawa at pinag masdan yung nasa harap namin. Kanina pa kami dito pero hinding hindi pa rin nagsasawa yung mata ko na titigan yung lugar.

I want to stay here and stare at it all night and be lost in my own thoughts.

Dahil nangangawit na ako sa kaka- tayo. Umupo ako sa may damuhan na part. Sumunod at tumabi si Vance sa akin.

"Camila," tawag ni Vance.

"Hmm?"

"Look at the moon. Isn't it beautiful?" sabi nya.

Imbis na tumingin ako sa buwan, I looked at him with a pounding heart.

Agad naman syang nag baba ng tingin sa akin. He looks like he's at peace and enjoying the place.

Hindi ko alam kung double meaning yun or he's just trying to appreciate the moon. I shook my head for the thoughts to fly away saka tiningnan ang buwan na tinuturo nya.

"Yes. It's beautiful," sagot ko sa kanya.

"Camila, naalala mo ba yung gusto kong sabihin sa 'yo at sasabihin ko lang kapag sa tingin ko, handa ka ng marinig?"

Nag hurumentado na naman ang puao ko nang banggitin nya 'yun.

"Oo naman. Why would I forget that?" sagot ko sa kanya.

Hinding hindi ko makakalimutan yun dahil mula ng sabihin nya sa akin yun, it hasn't left my mind. I am curious but I want him to tell me kapag ready na rin syang sabihin sa akin.

"I feel like you're ready to hear it," sabi nya sa akin.

"I think I am," pag sang- ayon ko sa kanya.

Punakiramdaman ko lang si Vance pero hindi sya agad nag- salita so I looked at him at naka tingin sya sa akin at nag tama ang mata naming dalawa.

Right at this moment, as I looked to his eyes. May kakaibang pakiramdam ang bumuhos sa akin bigla.

"Remember your eighteenth birthday?" tanong nya bigla sa akin. Akala ko sasabihin na nya pero bigla namang mag tanong.

"Of course. I am my parent's onlu daughter so I had a huge party that day kahit na ang tanggi ko," sagot ko sa kanya habang nalilito sa kung ano talagang gusto nyang sabihin.

"You know, I can't forget how beautiful you looked that day," aniya. "You looked like an angel with your champagne colored dress. You bloomed beautifully than you were in high school when I first saw you."

Bumakas na naman ang gulat sa mukha ko. Kung alam nya kung ano ang hitsura ko noon, specifically my dress, it only means na he's there because that party was private kahit na maraming imbitado.

"And then I saw you sitting on the counter top of my bar sipping a galss of wine. Nagulat ako. I thought wow, that sweet girl matured in the most beautiful way. Gone the sweet girl aura. You looked fierce and more confident."

"There are many times that you saw me. Why didn't you approach me?"

I feel kinda betrayed. There are a lot of times na nakikita nya ako while I have never properly laid my eyes on him except when he was introduced as the new OM.

"Because you were too beautiful for me to dare."

My eyebrows furrowed with curiousity.

"Vance, hindi ko naiintindihan. What are you trying to say?"

"That I like you. I have liked you longer than I realized it and now... I think I am in love with you," mahinang sabi nya. Sapat lang para marinig ko.

I tilted my head. "You think? You're not sure?"

Halos hindi na ako maka hinga sa pag amin na ginawa nya pero nagawa ko pa rin syang tanungin.

Lalong tumindi ang gulat ko nang walang alinlangang tumango sya.

"I think...yes. Because I think it's so stronger than that and I don't know how else I would call it."

Wala na akong ibang nakikita kumg hindi ang lalaking nasa harapan ko ngayon. Not the view, not the moon and the stars around it. Sya lang ang tanging nakikita ng mata ko.

Itinaas ko ang nanginginig kong kamay at ipinatong iyon sa pisngi nya. He placed his other hand on my hand.

I leaned closer to him.

...and closer.

And the next thing I knew, I can feel his sweet lips on mine.