#21
3038 Words
Chapter 21
That evening, wala na naman sana akong planong lumabas, pero binantaan ako ni van. Na kung hindi daw ako lalabas ay ipapapatay niya daw lahat ng ilaw doon sa loob ng kwarto. Kaya wala akong choice. I know van can make it possible. Especially that he partially owns that hotel.
Thankfully, We chose a different restaurant for that evening. And it was a good thing dahil there are no bigger possibilities na magkakasalubong kami ni charm at ni kage. I'm not avoiding them because i'm afraid of charm's wrath but because I didn't want to see them both together. I don't like the thought of them eating dinner together when last time kami lang ni kage yung magkasama.
We took our seat at kaagad na nag order. Van,as usual, was the one who ordered for me. Wala akong ganang mag reklamo same na wala akong ganang kumain kaya hinayaan ko na lang siya.
When our ordered arrived, kaagad na kaming kumain. I wasn't really in the mood to get out. Kung wala lang akong table etiquette ay kanina ko pa ito nilantakan para lang makabalik kaagad sa hotel.
"You don't like your food?"
Napansin niya siguro na paunti-unti lang ang subo ko. He ordered me something healthy again, something green kaya siguro he came up with the conclusion.
"No" i lazily said.
"I have a joke" biglang aniya na nagpataas sa akin ng tingin. Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay.
"I'm not in a mood for jokes." I'm not in a mood for anything at all.
"This would be something good" i looked at him uninterested. "Okay. I will make a deal. You see this fine steak?" Turo niya sa plato niya.
"No"
"Come on zeph" he grunted which made me chuckle lightly. "I will trade this steak with your food if you would smile, laugh or even giggle at my joke"
I looked at his plate and i have to admit that the stake looks delicious.
"Okay. I'm in"
He smirked. "Okay. What do you call a sliced and sad pig?"
"Ano?" I stifled a smile.
He made a motion and sliced his steak into two. "Pighati"
Saglit akong napatulala. "Was that the joke? Was i supposed to laugh?"
Inirapan niya ako, "you're no fun"
I chuckled. "Your jokes are just lame. Okay, I'll give you a second chance. Give me your last joke"
Tumawa naman siya. "Okay" he cleared his throat. "What do you call a sad and lonely follower of God?"
"What?"
"Depriest."
"Mmm" i made a sound as i shove the last piece of steak on my mouth. Uminom ako ng wine at tinawanan na lamang ang nakasimangot na mukha ng kaibigan. "Ano? Masarap?"
"It tastes healthy" tanging sagot niya na halatang iniininda lamang ang lasa ng salad na inorder niya para sa'kin.
"That's what you get for wagering your food for your humorless dad jokes" i drank the last drop of wine before standing up. "Powder room lang ako" paalam ko bago naglakad papuntang powder room.
I washed my hands and applied my lipstick. While staring at my own reflection on the mirror. I saw someone entering the door of the powder room. Wala akong balak pansinin o tingnan kung sino man iyon pero tumigil yung babae sa gilid ko, she was not washing her hands nor checking herself on the mirror. She was eyeing me.
I was about to ask the girl what her problem was pero awtomatikong napataas ako ng kilay nang makita kung sino iyon.
"Well well well, look who's here. Charm, how are you? Haven't seen you in awhile" i faked a smile.
"I'm fine, nakatulog naman ako ng maayos sa cabin ni kage. It was comfortable and warm. Especially na hindi niya ako magawang bitawan kagabi. I think he missed me a lot"
Napakuyom ako ng kamao. I already thought of this, na possibleng hindi na siya kumuha ng isa pang cabin and she stayed with kage's but..it still hurts, pero hindi ko pinahalata.
"Really? So you must've smelled my sweet scent on kage's pillows. You know, on the left side of the bed? Doon din kasi ako natulog no'ng isang araw"
I wanted to tap myself on the back nang makitang napawi ang kaniyang ngiti.
"If this is some kind of a game, it is not funny. At kung naglalaro man tayo. Sana naman maging patas ka." Madilim niyang sabi.
"I don't know what you're talking about"
"You know exactly what I'm talking about Zephyrine. Why did you ask kage's secretary to keep his location a secret from me huh?" Nabigla ako nang mariin niya akong hawakan sa braso.
"As I've said, i don't know what you're talking about" madiin kong sabi at marahas na inalis ang kaniyang kamay. "Sadyang hindi ka lang talaga gusto ng sekretarya niya"
"I will forgive you for what you did. In exchange, i would be more grateful if you leave kage alone from now on"
Dinampot ko na ang aking purse and took a last glare at charm who looks nothing but desperate and envious. "Truth be told charm, i'm not pleasing nobody, especially you. And stop telling me what to do, hinding hindi naman talaga kita susundin. Nagsasayang ka lang ng laway"
Taas noo akong lumabas doon pero kamuntikan pa akong mabuwal nang banggain ako ni charm ng malakas sa balikat. Gusto kong gumanti pero mabilis na siyang nakaalis. Sinundan ko siya ng tingin at nakita ko siyang umupo sa isang table. She looked over her shoulders and smirked, like she was bragging to me about the person she was with.
Kumunot ang noo ng kasama niya habang tiningnan siya. The man who she was with looked at my direction and i saw how his serious face turned into shock.
I shot him a glare at padabog na bumalik sa table namin.
"Umalis na tayo dito" i said picking up my phone from the table.
"What? Why?" Dinig ko ang taka sa kaniyang boses.
"Basta! Bilisan mo" hindi pa siya kaagad tumayo, i groaned impatiently.
"S-sandali lang. I haven't paid yet.''
"Sumunod ka na lang" ani ko at mabilis na naglakad palabas. Narinig ko pa ang pagtawag niya pero hindi ko na siya nilingon pa. Pababa na ako ng maliit na hagdan ng restaurant na iyon nang maramdaman kong may humablot sa akin braso.
"Ano ba!" Sigaw ko pero agad na natigilan nang makita kung sino iyon. "Ikaw lang pala."
"We need to talk" aniya.
"Ano? Anong pag-uusapan natin? What do you want me to hear? Gusto mong pakinggan ko ang explaination mo kung bakit kayo magkasama ng haliparot na 'yon? Well save it! I'm not gon—"
"I don't need to explain anything to you"
Natigilan ako.
"What? T-then, bakit mo pa ako hinabol dito?"
"I heard what you did. Alam mo bang ikakatanggal ni mia ang pinautos mo sa kaniya? I don't even know why she complied to your request but i just want to know why you ask her to do that"
"What? Ikakatanggal? Why would you fire her?" I gulped. "Dahil ba sinabi ni charm sa'yo? Are you really gonna fire your secretary dahil lang sinabi niya iyon sa'yo?"
"You should've done that" he looked away.
Nakaramdam naman ako ng inis. Bakit niya ba pinagtatanggol si charm!
"Why! Tell me! Is she really that valuable to you?!"
"Yes"
"A-ano?" My eyes glimmered looking at him.
"She's my girlfriend"
I felt my whole world crumble. The little hope of us being together again just shattered. Hearing those exact words from him makes me want to hit myself hard on the chest dahil sa walang tigil na pagkalabog ng aking puso, the thumping hurts.
"W-what? B-but..hindi! Nagsisinungaling ka lang. you just—you just want to hurt me. Diba?" I sounded desperate.
"It's true"
I bit my lower lip to prevent it from shaking. I looked sideways as my vision was starting to get blurry.
"But this past few days i thought we shared something special. I..i thought we were okay?" Bahagyanpa akong pumiyok.
"Ganon din ang iniisip ko noon zephyrine. Na okay tayo."
Aniya na nagpatulala sa akin. It took me a minute para maintindihan ang ibig niyang sabihin. Para akong baliw na napatawa habang naluluha.
"Van was right. He was right about you. You really are an asshole"
Saglit siyang natigilan dahil sa sinabi ko. I saw him stepping a foot forwards pero tinaas ko ang aking hintuturo para pigilan siya.
"Wag na wag ka ng lalapit sa akin." The last thing i said before turning my back.
"Zeph!"
"Psst zeph!"
Napataas ako ng tingin nang bahagya akong tinapik ni sumner sa braso.
"Huh?" Lutang kong tanong. Ngumuso siya sa harapan.
"Tingin lang po tayo dito ma'am" ani ng photographer sa akin. Bahagya naman akong nahiya dahil lahat ng babaeng entourage ay nakatingin na sa akin.
Today is cali's big day, and we are all gathered in one room for the photoshoot since tapos na naming alalayan si cali sa pagbihis.
"Okay, last one....perfect!" The photographer said after one last shot.
"Okay ka lang ba? You seem bothered" tanong ng pinsan. Hinawi niya ang aking buhok at dinampot ang press powder. "You should see your eye bags. And your eyes! They're swollen! Have you been crying?" I looked up as she applied the make up on my under eye.
"Is that a hypoallergenic brush your using on me?" I shifted the topic.
"Ang arte mo naman!" Simangot niya.
"I'll get rash if it's not" maarte kong sabi bago umupo. Inirapan niya naman ako and thank God ay umalis siya saglit nang may pumasok na mag-asawa, i assume they were cali's parents. Which made me left alone, staring at my lifeless self at the mirror. I look like a f*****g zombie just being woken up para lang umattend sa kasal na ito. If it isn't for my cousin and her friend, hindi na ako lumabas pa uli na kwarto. I just wanted this done para makauwi na ako ng maynila.
"I heard that you made the bride's gown" ani ng pamilyar at nakakairitang boses sa likod ko. Iniripan ko ang repleksyon ni charmaine sa salamin.
"What are you doing here?" I almost whispered.
"Hindi ka ba na inform? I'm also part of the entourage. And guess who I'm partnered up with?" She said in a bragging tone. Ang kapal din naman talaga ng mukha ng babaeng 'to! She's not even close nor a friend of cali!
"Wala akong pakialam." Pabalang kong sabi. Kahit gano'n man ay nanatili pa din ang ngisi sa kaniyang labi.
"So...the bride's gown, i hate to admit it but it's beautiful." Maarte niyang sabi.
"Don't expect me to thank you"
"I'm not even hoping." Aniya "It's nice to know na kahit papaano ay natupad mo ang pangarap mong maging designer." Napatingin ako sa kaniya. Why is she suddenly being nice to me?
"What do you want?"
She faked a shocked expression and placed a hand on her chest.
"What? Wala! I just want to talk about business. I mean, an entrepreneur to an entrepreneur. You see, i have a business now, it's really big and i can sense that it will be successful kahit na bagong bukas pa lang" she bragged.
It makes sense now, the reason she approached me is to brag. Is this her way to belittle me? Dahil wala naman akong ibang makikita sa kaniyang mata kundi panunuya e. Dagdagan pa ng nakakairitang ngisi niya.
"Okay so this is my face when you opened your newly found business" i looked at her with no expression at all. "and this is my face after you bragged it on me. Can you tell the difference? Wala diba? Walang nagbago? Wala pa ding pakealam sayo."
I didn't wait for her reaction at kaagad nang tumayo para umalis sa harapan niya.
"The wedding is about to start in fifteen minutes. Get ready" ani ng wedding coordinator.
Minutes after, i just found myself facing the man-made arch na may nakatabon na manipis na tela so that the groom and the guests wouldn't take a peek of the bride. Hahawi lang iyon in van's cue since siya ang kakanta para sa wedding song.
Napatingin ako kila kage at charm, it was their turn to walk now. Sumusunod ang tingin ko sa kanila. And i would be lying if i say na hindi ko hiningi na sana ako na lang ang kasama niyang naglalakad ngayon doon sa aisle, kung hindi man sa sarili naming kasal, kahit ngayon na lang. the way he let charm clung her arms on him makes me want to be in her position.
I took a deep breath as if it was my turn to enter kasama ang partner ko na hindi ko na naalala kung ano ang pangalan.
I was looking down the whole time, hindi ko alam pero hindi ko magawang tumingin sa harapan, i'm afraid that if i'd look, i might burst into tears, lalo na't nasa harapan din ng altar si kage dahil isa siya sa mga groomsman.
Naghiwalay na kami ng lalaking partner at naupo na. Next to walk was sumner and tavis, then liya with ken, and lastly, jay with clover. Clover was smiling, but it didn't reach her eyes, parang ang ngiti niya ay para lang talaga sa kaibigan na ikakasal, but her eyes, her eyes was empty of emotion. Hinawi ko ang buhok at hindi sadyang napatingin ako sa aking gilid, sa malayong parte na hindi masyadong kapansin-pansin. Pinaliit ko ang mata at tumagal ang tingin ko doon nang makitang may taong nakatayo. I suddenly felt goosebumps in an unexplainable way.
Bahagyang umawang ang aking labi nang matantong lalaki iyon. If i would look closer, i'd say the man is rather familiar. It's like i've seen that kind of built before. Hindi ko lang maalala. The man was looking, facing the aisle from afar. Sinundan ko kung saan siya naka tingin and i think he's looking at none other than clover, dahil sila lang naman ang huling naglakad sa aisle. Nang binalik ko ang tingin sa bandang iyon ay nawala na ang lalaki.
Nagsitayuan na ang lahat nang marinig ang pagbago ng kanta. That's when i snapped out of it. Then i heard van's serenade-like voice.
Song: so close by john McLaughlin/ see above multimedia for the lyric video ⬆️⬆️⬆️
P.S this part is best read while playing the song, trust me ;)
You're in my arms
And all the world is gone
The music playing on
For only two
So close together
And when I'm with you
Nang kantahin ni van iyon ay sabay na nahawi ang kulay puti at turquoise na kurtina revealing the lovely bride cali.
I'm not a close friend nor I'm not a family, pero bahagya akong naluluha habang titinitingnan siya. If i would roam my eyes, i would see every detail, every arches in each feet distance of the aisle, every fairy lights, every flowers and candles lighted, families, friends, the perfect bride..with her perfect groom, everything seems perfect.
And now forever I know...
All that I want is to hold you so close
So close to reaching that famous happy end
Almost believing this one's not pretend
And now you're beside me, and look how far we've come
So far, we are so close
While looking at cali, i would blink multiple times so that my vision would be replaced by something real, dahil habang nangingiting naglalakad si cali doon ay nakikita ko ang sarili ko sa position niya, that i would be the one with the bouquet of beautiful roses in hand. It was surreal, it was something impossible. Kasi kahit anong pilit kong pagtanggi sa sarili ko, I can't still accept the fact that i was already been replaced...that I can't have my own happy ever after anymore.
Hindi ko na namalayan na habang wala ako sa sarili ay may luha ng pumatak mula sa aking mata. I shoved it harshly like it was an acid na ayaw kong patagalin sa aking balat.
When the music went instrumental, sakto namang tumigil si cali sa aking harapan. She stopped for quite awhile and turned to me.
"Thank you" she mouthed at bahagyang tinuro ang kaniyang wedding dress gamit ang hawak na bouquet.
I smiled warmly then slightly bowed my head. Gano'n din ang ginawa niya bago nagpatuloy sa paglalakad.
Oh how could I face the faceless days
If I should lose you now?
I looked at her wedding gown, down to the train of it with eyes with pure envy. Hindi maalis ang tingin ko doon. And then once again, i felt another tear sliding down my cheek. Until it was inevitable, i can no longer contain my emotions. I looked away while trying to wipe them off using the back of my hand.
Yumuko na lang ako para walang makakita sa aking pag-iiyak. I bit my lip as i close my eyes shut. Dumiin din ang paghawak ko sa hem ng aking suot na long gown because of the unending pain on my chest, the pain was worse than being injected with a lot of needles or the pain after a life-threatening operation.
We're so close to reaching that famous happy end
Almost believing this one's not pretend
Let's go on dreaming, though we know we are
"So close...so close" i kept my eyes shut while mouthing the lyrics with a heavy heart. Bahagya ng yumuyugyog ang aking balikat dahil sa pagpipigil ng hikbi. "and still...so far"
I didn't want to let people see me breaking down kaya hinanda ko na ang sarili para umalis doon. Hindi pa nga nagsisimula ang seremony ay umiyak na ako, paano na lang sa exchanging of vows? I would cause a scene for sure. I grabbed my phone and was about to walk my way out of there when i saw someone looking at me intently from afar. Nagkatinginan kami ng taong iyon.
Someone from the altar.
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If some of you can't access the multimedia, here is the audio for so close by john McLaughlin.
Nakakaiyak siya promise!??
Kaya view niyo utang na loob! Chour!
If ya'll familiar with the song, then let me feed you with a trivia, yes! This song was originated from disney's enchanted.
- Writer
