Puhon, Tayo

NOON: Chapter 15

“We can figure this out.” Tanner closes the thin gap between us and cups my face. He looks straight into my eyes and I can almost bathe myself in the pure determination playing in his coffee brown eyes.

“How?” My voice is full of desperation. I lock my eyes with his, memorizing every admirable inch of him. “I don’t really know what to do.”

“Trust me, babe. Just trust me.” His hand cupping my cheeks drops to my neck and caught me in an embrace. The warmth coming from his body makes me feel secure. At a moment there, I forget our dilemma.

“Paano kung totohanin ni Papa ang banta niya? Paano kung pilitin niya akong lumayo sa ‘yo? I can’t defy my father, Tanner.” I admit with full honesty. I have told him about the conversation I had last night with my family. Every piece of that conversation, even my fight with Kara, I pour out everything to him. Tanner just listens to all my outpours, holding my hand for support.

It’s weekend and we are supposed to have Taekwondo training but I ask Tanner to meet me at the park. I am not in the mood for training right now especially when my mind is clouded by fear and pain because of the conversation I had with my parents, to make everything worst, Kara and I never reconciled. She even convinces my parents not to give in to my whims. It pains me to know that my own twin sister sees my dreams as just mere whims.

“Hindi mangyayari ‘yon. I’ll talk to Tito Philip.” Puno ng determinasyon ang boses ni Tanner habang nakayakap pa rin sa akin. A lump starts to form in my throat when I hug him back. The tear that I have been keeping, broke down into thousands of mad rain fall.

“I can’t imagine my life without you in it, Tanner. You have inhabited a large portion of my heart and I need to you keep my heart beating.” Kumalas ako sa pagkakayakap niya at tinitigan siya sa mga mata. Tanner gives me a genuine and loving smile as he levels his eyes to mine.

“I feel the same, babe. I know that we will be moving forward to face new beginnings and fight for our future. I want that more than anything in the world and I want you in my future too. I am truly, madly, deeply in love with you, Mi Amore.”

Tumango-tango lamang ako habang patuloy pa rin sa pagpatak ang aking mga luha. My heart swells that his confession and my feelings for him even intensifies.

“I love you, babe.” I admit bravely, giving my heart to every word I just say. Tanner bit his lower lip and laugh heartily.

“I love you. I love you so much!” he cups my face with both hands and he places his forehead against mine. He brushes his nose against mine but I am not contented with just nose brushing, I tiptoed and capture his lips as I close my eyes. Tanner sucked in surprised breaths but I don’t pay attention on his reaction too much. All I have in my mind is the softness of his lips against mine.

What should I do next? Should I let go? Who should I move? Damn! I have no idea. This is my first kiss! I start to pull away from him but his next move surprise me this time. He tightens his grip on my cheeks, leans his head on the side and slowly, little by little, moves his lips against mine. Kakaibang sensaasyon ang lumukob sa akin habang hinahalikan ako ni Tanner. He takes the lead and I follow his pace. He’s definitely a good teacher and a good kisser too.

When Tanner finally breaks the kiss, we are both panting for breath. That was magical! I feel like I was on cloud nine. He also opens a new chamber in my heart that beats drastically insane with heat while we are kissing.  

“Woah!” Tanner grins at me as he wipes something on the side of my mouth. Hindi ako makatingin ng diretso sa kanya lalo nan ang unti-unti kong maramdaman ang init na nagmumula sa aking pisngi. Am I blushing? Heck! I guess, I am!

 “it’s your first kiss.” Tanner says, matter-of-factly. I look up and meet his gaze as I scowl at him. Mahina ko rin siyang sinuntok sa balikat. He’s stating the obvious.

“Tanner!” I groan as I cover my face with both hands as I realize that we are in a public place. Good thing, we are in the secluded part of the park that’s why there are no other people here except for us.

“I hope I lived up to your expectation, babe.”

“Hey!” Pinanlakihan ko siya ng mga mata dahil hindi ko gusto ang tono ng pananalita niya. I know that he’s liberated but I am his opposite!

“I’m glad that I am your first kiss and hopefully your last.” Tanner reaches for my hand and brings it straight to his lips. Naramdaman ko ulit ang init mula sa kanyang labi na dumaloy sa aking kamay pataas sa aking puso. I smile at him.

“We are facing a huge obstacle but here we are, out in the open, publicly displaying of affection!”

“Babe, just don’t think too much, hmm? I’ll have it figure out. I promise no one can sperate us from each other.”

I settle at his words. Allowing it to comfort the uncertainties lingering inside my heart. I trust him. I trust our relationship. It’s just that I don’t have any idea how to face relationship challenges yet. Everything I have with Tanner is a pure first-hand experience.

“Then I leave it to you. Promise me, you’ll never give up on me.” I took his hand and intertwines it with mine. Our hands that fit perfectly together. I hope that our relationship, although not perfect, will remain whole forever.

‘Walang forever, hoy!’

Maybe! But we have a lifetime proving that forever exist.

I rest my head against Tanner’s chest as I release one agonizing sigh. I listen to his fast heartbeat and I smile to myself when I realize that I am the reason behind it. It’s like a lullaby that sends comfort to my whole existence.

We stay like that for a long moment but Tanner’s phone rings out of nowhere. Umupo ako nang maayos at pinagmasdan siya habang kinakalikot ang kanyang cellphone.

I mirror the scowl in his face as he reads the caller I.D. I want to ask him what’s wrong but I will save it for later. Tanner stands up and answers the call.

Hindi siya masyadong lumayo sa akin kaya naririnig ko ang mga sinasabi niya.

“Mom.”

Oh! It’s his mother. Baka nangungumusta lang. After all, his mom is alone in the States, now that his here. Isang professor sa sikat na university ang mommy ni Tanner kaya hindi nakasama sa kanilang bakasyon.

Tanner places his hand on his waist as he listens to the other line.

“I know. I know that, Mom. I am aware of my responsibility. Just give me more time. Okay?”

Bigla akong kinabahan sa huli niyang sinabi. Ano ang ibig sabihin ng mg salita niya? I bite my lower lip in anticipation. He continues talking to his mother on the phone.

“Yeah. Okay…. Of course, Mom. She’s with me.” Tumaas ang isang kilay ko sa mga sinabi niya. Is he pertaining to me? Kilala ba ako ng mommy niya?

Tanner glances at my direction and gives me a warm smile. “Okay. Love you too.” He ends the call and goes back to the bench and sits next to me.

He snaked his arm around my shoulder and pulls me closer to him as he kisses the side of my head.

“Your mom?”

“Yeah. Nangungumusta lang.”

“Hmmm.”

I am not convinced by his answer. He sounds like he has something else to say. I look up to meet his gaze. He smiles down at me and look away.

Biglang binundol ng kaba ang dibdib ko. Is there another obstacle that we’re about to face?

Argh! I don’t think I can handle another obstacle especially that we haven’t overcome the first one yet. But when Tanner meets my eyes again, I feel a little braver. I should keep my armor and fight for this man.

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“Ate Kora, are you having a fight with Ate Karol?” Kaia looks at me with innocent eyes. I look down on her and caress her hair. I have decided to sleep in her bedroom since Kara and I haven’t made up yet. Bahala siya. I can’t keep up with her immaturity anymore. She goes overboard this time.

“No, baby…” I bite the insides of my cheeks when I realize that I am about to tell my little sister lies. Kids mirror the old’s action and I don’t want my sister to grow up, a liar. I snuggle her close to me and hug her tighter.

“Well, sisters fight sometimes. Your Ate Karol and I have a little misunderstanding but we’ll figure it out soon.” I admit with full honesty. Kaia looks up at me and I force myself to smile.

“You should. Sisters don’t fight. They should love each other.” Napangiti ako dahil sa munting pangaral ni Kaia. I nod my forehead in agreement.

“Of course, baby. We will. Soon!”

“Is it because you don’t want to be a doctor?” Kaia sits up and faces me. I sigh deep and heavy because she’s at it again. Hindi na naman ako matutulog dahil sa mga tanong niya na minsan nga paulit-ulit pa. Kaia is a very curious kid and she seems interested in everything.

“Uhuh. I don’t want to be a doctor because I am afraid of blood!” biro ko at sinundot-sundot ang kanyang tagiliran. Kaia giggles and tries to tickle me back.

“Ate, I will become a doctor for you!” mayamaya ay sambit niya nang makahiga. She faces me and hugs me tight. I almost want to cry at her pure innocence.

“No, Kaia. You should never exist for other people’s dream. You have to create your own and fight for it.”

“Fight? But fighting is bad, Ate!”

“One day, baby. One day, you will understand. And when that time comes, I will be by your side every step of the way.”

I will give her the support that Kara fails to give me.