Kabanata 12
373 Words
“There's some things you still can't understand, John.” I wanted to know the reason why but he didn't give it. Maybe not today...maybe someday.
Naiintindihan ko naman. Pero—
“Pero bakit po galit si mama sa akin?”
“Hindi siya galit sayo anak.” he said while staring ahead. Being the young and naive boy that I was, I believed him....na sana hindi ko iyon ginawa para hindi na din ako umasa.
“Hindi ba niya ako mahal?” naiiyak kong tanong.
“It's just that...” tila nindi alam ni papa ang sasabihin sa akin. I looked down and let my tears fall.
“Just let her be. But remember that papa loves you okay?” Tumango na lang ako at pinunasan ang mukhan kong nadungisan na ng luha.
My name is John Blueleil. Blue lang dapat ang ipapangalan ni mama sa akin. Bluish ang kulay ko dahil sa sakit. Sa pangalan ko pa lang, wala ng pakialam ang mama ko sa akin. Tinignan niya lang ang kalagayan ko.Ni hindi man lang nag-isip ng pangalan. Pero nilagyan ni papa ng John. It came from his name. He added leil in blue. Making it mean blue light. He have always said,
“ You are my light, son. Your light is one of a kind....always remember that.”
And I thought that my life wasn't that bad at all. My father gave me the love more than I needed. And he was right. Nothing could ever change the fact that I was his blue light.
What made my heart full that time was knowing that he loves me truly at dahil alam kong tanggap niya ako.
FLASHBACK ENDS
I wiped my tears....and looked at the sky above. I know he's right there. Somewhere up there together with the stars. Perhaps he's a new star.
A new star that reeks a magnificent blue light. He used to tell me that I'm his blue light but now the tables have turned. He is my blue light now. Napabuntong hininga na lang ako.
“ I wish you were here Dad.” and I mean it. I really do. I would never get tired of wishing that he'd come back....even if it is impossible.
- Writer
