This Can't Be Love

Denials I

Chapter 3: Denials

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Knock knock

Dominique looked to her son and points to the door. "Kuya tingnan mo nga kung sino yun..." tumayo si Dylan and he opened the door.

Standing by the door is the eldest and the youngest in the family... well for now. Dianne and Aubrey.

"What the hell is going on-" Dianne asked as soon as she saw her pregnant mother on the floor.

"Mommy!!!" Sigaw ni Aubrey as she runs towards her mom.

"Mama! Ano to?!" Tanong ni Dianne hawak niya pa rin yung bag ng kapatid niya then they heard a loud smack from the living room. Everyone turn their heads on Dom and Sam's direction.

Sam slapped Dom across the face.

"I'm so-" Sam was about to apologize but Dom stood up.

"What the hell Sam?!" Dom shouted as she held her left cheek.

"Sam who?! Who the fu-" Dianne was about to ask something but her Mama cut her off.

"Dyl... Dalhin mo muna sa kwarto mo si uhm…” Dominique looked around in search for names to cover up the f**k that their young selves are here with them, she saw her youngest coloring book and read its title. “...Alexis" sabi ni Dominique.

"Alexis?" Dylan asked as he tilt his head on the side, and her mom pointed on the coloring book by the desk and he immediately got it.

"Oh?! Alexis.. Sige Ma," he stood up and took Dom's hands.

"You?" Older Dom called Sam "Stay there..." then her wife start moving "Oh gosh... baby? Baby are you okay?"

Older Sam starts opening her eyes and looked at her wife. "The flashbacks..." she muttered

"I know babe... Nakita ko din yun nung nagkatitigan kami ni... uhm" Older Dom looked at her still puzzled daughters. "Alexis..."

"Oh?" Older Sam replied.

"Okay... Can you stand now?" Samantha nods and Dominique helped her up. Dianne standing by the doorway with her right eyebrows raised.

"Okay... Mama? Mommy? Ano talagang nangyayari? Why do we have your doppelgangers here? What the-"

"Sweetie... Can you change Bree's clothes first? Can you do that?" Dominique asked her daughter then Dianne grabbed her sister's hands and drag Aubrey upstairs.

When their daughters are nowhere in sight Samantha stares at her young self sitting on the sofa, that just slaps Young Dom across her face.

"This is so..."

"Creepy... Yes..." sabi ni Dominique and Samantha looked at her. "Nakalimutan kong nangyari satin to, pero nung nakita ko si Dom kanina, which is me? The flashbacks..."

"I know... Wow... How?" Tanong ni Samantha.

"Hindi ko din alam..." sabi ni Dominique and she rub Samantha's baby bump. "Nasaktan ka ba?"

"No I’m fine..." sabi ni Samantha and she touched her baby bump. "We're okay..."

"Akala ko-"

"Baby..." sabi ni Samantha and she cupped Dominique's face. "I’m fine..." then she pulled Dominique for a kiss and they broke the kiss and Samantha licked her lips. "I love you..."

"I love you... and this little kid" sabi ni Dominique then she looked at the living room then she saw Young Sam watching them with wide eyes. "I think we just broke Little Sam..."

"Oh don’t mind me..." sabi ni Samantha and she looked at Sam "She'll live..." then she smiles.

"Obviously..." Dominique replied, giving her wife a wink.

"You should go talk to the other you, Little Dom up there, then show Little Sam to her room..." then Samantha looked over to the clock then back at her wife "I'm going to go start dinner."

"Pero babe-"

"May bisita tayo, I'll cook... And think a nickname for me... I mean for Sam... She's me right?" Tanong ni Samantha and Dominique smiled at her wife, her cute confused 4 months pregnant wife.

"Let's call her .... Dmitri!" Dominique said jokingly then Samantha laugh and Sam looked at them with im-so-done face with a shake on her head.

"Dmitri? Sino si Dmitri?" Tanong ni Aubrey as she walked down the stairs alone. Dominique and Samantha were shocked so Dominique just points nervously at Sam. Aubrey looked at her with a pout and studies Sam's face. "Why you have a boy name?"

"I... uh-" hindi alam ni Sam ang sasabihin niya.

"Dmitri's are for girls also honey..." sabi ni Dominique and Samantha looked at her with angry eyes.

"Look at what you've done!" Sabi ni Samantha kay Dominique and she slap Dominique's arm. "That's the worst name Dom!"

"Sorry babe..." sabi ni Dominique with her sad puppy eyes.

"Okay okay... Bring Dmitri to her room while I cook okay?" Samantha ordered.

"Yes, ma'am." Dominique said as she signals Sam to join her. Then she carried Aubrey upstairs and told Dianne to take care of Aubrey for sec.

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Dylan walked Dom through the second floor, they reach the end of the hallway and stop on the door with a stop sign on it.

"Were here... This is my room, I guess Mama and Mommy decided to give you my room without my consent..."

"I’m so sorry-"

"No, it’s okay... It’s fine... You're my Mama," Dylan said giving Dom a wink.

"I’m not! okay? I’m just a kid, like you.." sabi ni Dom and Dylan shrugs.

"Okay okay...Hindi mo naman kailangang maging defensive about that" sabi ni Dylan and he looked at the door across his room "By the way... you're across the hall from my parents. Hope you're a deep sleeper," Dylan told Dom with humor. When she didn't respond the way he planned to, he added, "The bathroom is next door..."

"Thanks..." sabi ni Dom and Dylan opened the room.

The room is colored with blue and white stripes. Dylan had a whole set of band instruments. Dom saw a drum set, a keyboard, an electric guitar, and a bass guitar.

Dom came in and Dylan grab his pillow and blanket. "Bibigyan ka ni mama ng gagamitin mo, its just... these are my favorite pillow so... uhm..."

"Okay lang... Uhm" then Dom looked around. "Sayo ba to lahat?"

"Uhm... Yeah... Remember I told you guys that I have different talents, well, this is it... I can play all of these, I can sing too..." Dylan said with enthusiasm in his voice.

"Wow... I can play too..." Dom added with a smile.

"Well... Ikaw nagturo sa akin.." and Dylan saw Dom is about to get defensive so he did come back "I mean... Mama taught me how to play these..." sabi ni Dylan.

"So... You have a band?" Dom asked as she sat on Dylan's computer chair. Umupo si Dylan sa isang bean bag sa kwarto niya at yumuko lang. "Hey..." Dom called him again.

"I... I-I don’t really have friends at school... well I do, actually I have one, but that wasn't enough for a band... " sabi ni Dylan and he gave Dom a heavy stare "They don’t like me..."

"Oh? W...w-why?" It’s like Dom's heart broke for the boy.

Old Dom's son is a nice kid, bakit wala siyang kaibiga-

"Because I have two moms..." then he looked down. "But I love my moms so much... So f**k them!"

"That's so immature of them..." sabi ni Dom.

"No...I’m just really weird yknow... I’m a surrogate baby, I’m really smart... My best friend which is my only friend at school is like a freaking engineer, he's weirder than me f.y.i ... in short I’m a weirdo, we are both weirdoes, no one is really gonna befriend us." sabi ni Dylan.

"You were bullied?" Dom asked, she didn't know but she have to ask.

I’m a bully... WAS a bully.

"Every day... But I never told them, I don’t want them to know. My sister, Di, wasn't able to get into that stupid science highschool so she really doesn’t experience all of these..." sabi ni Dylan.

"I don’t... I don’t know what to say.." sabi ni Dom.

"Good... Because I don’t want you to say anything to them... I just don’t have someone like a family para sabihin to, but well... you're here so why not?" sabi ni Dylan and he stood up with his pillow and blanket wrapped in his arms. "Hintayin mo na lang si Mama... Siya na bahala sayo... Magpapaka alipin nanaman ako kay ate..."

"Thanks... Dyl..." sabi ni Dom as he saw Dylan walk towards the door.

"Anytime..." sabi ni Dylan and he gave Dom a wink and he shuts the door.

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Older Dom and Young Sam walked upstairs and they stopped at the first door. They took the one on the left.

"Here we go..." sabi ni Dominique and she opened the door. "Kay Aubrey to..."

Sam looked around as they entered Aubrey's room. You can see sky blue everywhere.

"She likes... Skies?" Tanong ni Sam with a smile.

"Birds actually..." Dominique answered as she watch her wife's mini-me. Then Older Dom made Bree’s bed and asked Sam. "So... Bakit mo sinampal si Dom?"

"Im so sorry... di ko po talaga sinasadya..." sabi ni Sam and she walk closer to Older Dom's position. "I was just so shocked that she's holding me... because that never happened po, I’m so-"

"Hey... wow... I almost forgot how annoying you are...hahaha" Older Dom said with a laugh and Sam shuts her mouth. "I... I mean she was embarrassed... But I’m... she's fine... I just really want to know..." and Sam nods.

"Uhm... Uh... Mrs. Valdez?" Sam called and Dominique laugh so Sam whipped her head towards the Older Dom's direction.

"You're so lame Sam..." sabi ni Dominique between her giggles "Mrs. Lazaro... but you can call me Ms. Bossy Pants? Or Ms. Arrogant? Or 'that thing'? ... your choice..." and Sam looked guilty. "It’s okay... I love you... "

"About that..." Sabi ni Sam and she sat down on the edge of Aubrey's bed then looked up to Dominique. "I just find it odd... really odd on our case, that we will develop some type of relationship beyond a casual friendship considering the fact that you have never particularly liked me... Like never."

"I've always liked you Sam... when you came out on that door? Yes, you're freaking weird, its smells like crap, but there's something about you..." sabi ni Dominique as she sits on Aubrey's bean bag, it made Sam smile a bit. "I’m just really stupid."

"If you liked me so much, why were…are…were you so terrible to me?" Sam asked.

"Because Im scared... Kaya instead na halikan kita, yakapin kita, befriend you... I'll just push you away, its easier that way.."

"Oh?"

"But I know Young Dom... She won’t say sorry for what she did on the past, but I'm really really sorry Sam... Ako na humihingi ng tawad para sakanya..." sabi ni Dominique and Sam nods.

"So... Tell me... How am I doing now?" Sam asked Dominique.

"You???" Older Dom asked in confusion then it rang a bell "Oh! My wife? Well... You're a doctor..." sabi ni Dominique and Sam smiled. "You're really smart... and most of all?" Dominique said and Sam looked at her with full attention. "You're not annoying anymore... maybe sometimes, but I always find it really cute..." and Sam smiles. "So... Okay ka na ba dito?" Older Dominique finally asked.

"Opo..."

Older Dom got the sweater from Aubrey's bed and wears it then she looked at Young Sam.

"It's my wife's... It’s getting cold, you should wear some of Di's sweaters, I'll ask her..."

"Thank you po..."

"Stop being so polite, bumaba ka na lang pag gutom ka na, pupuntahan ko lang si Dom..." and Dominique winked at her "The stupid one..." Sam smiled and Dominique exits the door.

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Older Dom entered the room and she saw Young Dom on the keyboards.

"Loving these?" Older Dom asked.

"Oo naman... You spoiled your kids too much..." sabi ni Dom.

"No... They work hard for that..." Older Dom said and she took a seat on the edge of Dylan's bed. "The most recent one was his bass guitar... He won some quiz bee at school... I’m so thankful he had my wife's brain."

"Hey!" Dom disagreed with what Old Dom's just said.

"Just being honest though... So, Kamusta?"

"Fine..."

"You wanna talk about it?" Older Dom asked and Dom just shakes her head. "Oh okay... uhm... you want to share something?"

"What are we? A support group or some s**t like that?" Dom snapped at her older self.

"Come here... sit beside me..." Older Dom said as she pats the empty space beside her.

"Why?" Dom asked uncertainly of what this lady will do to her.

"It's cuddle time..." Older Dom announced and Dom gave her a disgusted look.

"I don't want to cuddle..." Dom lied as she shift on her seat to sit down comfortably.

"Don't even pretend... We've always loved snuggles, now come here before I move your ass over myself..." Older Dominique said and Dom stood up fast as lightning and sit one feet away from Older Dom on the bed. "Come on... Scoot over"

"Okay okay... Damn old people..." sabi ni Dom and she scoot over near the woman. Young Dom was snuggled on Older Dom's arms.

"Shut up..." sabi ni Dominique at binatukan niya si Dom. "So... Now... You wanna talk about it?"

"No..." Young Dom said, still snuggled on Older Dom's arms.

"You should talk about it." Older Dom said.

"I don't want to." Young Dom replied.

"I know, but you should..."

"Well I don't want to and even if I did I wouldn't talk to you about it...." Young Dom said and Older Dom's face scrunched a bit.

"Why not? I'm totally the best person to talk about it with. We're the same person, basically. It'll be just like talking to yourself. And if you can't talk to yourself then who can you talk to?" Older Dom said and Young Dom lift her head to looked at her older self.

"Talking to yourself is the first sign of insanity...So... No, hindi ako magsasalita..." Young Dom said shaking her head.

"Well then maybe we're insane, but at least we're in it together... right?" Older Dom said giving Dom a wide smile.

"I don't even want to talk about it!" Dom almost shouted her words and Older Dom looked at her. They were both sitting on the bed face to face but not snuggling anymore. "It's hard okay?"

"I know, I’m you remember? so I already knew it, I just want you to say it..." Older Dom said and Dom's head shakes with irritation.

"This is a really irritating situation... Nababaliw na ba ako?"

"I know."

"It feels like I’m on the brink of being insane..."

"I know."

"Ok, seriously? Stop it. I’m feeling uncomfortable already..."

"I know..."

"Hey! f**k!" Dom shouted and Older Dom laugh.

"So you want to talk about it now?" Older Dom asked and Dom shot her a look of disbelief.

"Seriously?! Are you kidding me right now!?"

"Nope..."

"f**k you..."

"Words... I have a five-year-old daughter wandering around, young lady..." Older Dom said and she held Dom's hands. "Is this about Dad?"

"Can we not talk about him?"

"But that's what bugging your mind..." Older Dom said. "Kanina lang... Tuwang tuwa ka to see me, having my own family... and now-"

"She just slapped me okay? She hated me... I can’t believe this! These! Everything! Daddy will kill me..." sabi ni Dom and Older Dom just looked at her.

"Do I look dead to you?"

"Come on! That's not my point..."

"I know..."

"Okay seriously... Stop saying that!" Dom said and Older Dom act like zipping her lips. "Good..." Dom lie her back on Dylan's bed and Older Dom did the same. "Did she and I switch brains at some point or something? I mean, seriously, when did Sam Jabber Mouth Lazaro become the sane one and I turn into the crazy one?" Dom asked and Older Dom let her head fall on her right side to look at her young self.

"No... You're always the crazy one..." Older Dom said and Dom nods and gave her a side smile. "Come on let’s cuddle..."

"Why?! I mean-"

"Shut the f**k up... We're cuddlewhore!" Older Dom said and Dom scoot over and snuggled to the woman's body. 

"This sweater smells good..." Dom mumbled, nuzzling closer in Older Dom's body. She felt sleepy and comfortable, she may skip dinner... If only she could.

Older Dom had apparently decided to torture her and shatter her happiness. "It's my wife's... This sweater, Sam owns this..."

Dom stopped trying to bury herself in the soft fabric immediately. Young Dom took a deep breath and shakes her head.

Fuck my life.

"You're thinking f**k my life right now aren't you?" Older Dom asked her with a sly smile on her face.

"UGH!" Young Dom groaned in frustration.

"I know..." Older Dom teased her young self once more.

"Stoooooop...ugh f*****g future" Young Dom said and Older Dom just smiled.

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