This Can't Be Love

Denials II

Habang nasa kwarto ni Aubrey si Sam she stood up and look around. She saw a photo album and battling inside if she's going to take a look or not. She picked the album and walk to Aubrey's bed. Sam sat down and flicked through the pages.

She saw Dianne, Dylan, and Aubrey when they were younger, Aubrey was really little. Sam smiled, then the next page was a family picture. Aubrey is on Sam's lap, Dom kissing her wife's cheek, and Dianne and Dylan on the floor hugging each other. Then a tear fell from Sam's eyes as she flicked another page. Sam's pregnant with Aubrey and Dom was wearing an Ateneo jacket. Sam watch every photograph, she felt really odd about these. She closed the photo album and wipe her tears.

Lumabas si Sam sa kwarto at bumaba papunta sa kusina, then she saw Older Sam cooking in the kitchen.

Older Sam looked at her left and saw her younger self watching her.

"Umiyak ka ba?" Tanong niya at lumapit si Sam sakanya.

"Its just... yung mga pictures sa kwarto ni Aubrey... they're beautiful." Sabi ni Sam and Older Sam looked at her and smiles. "May maitutulong ba ko?"

"Of course..." Older Sam said and gave her young self four pieces of eggs. "We're having scrambled eggs..." Sam looked at her.

"Wait... Hindi na tayo allergic?" Tanong ni Sam.

"Allergic... But my wife and little Doms want that..." sabi ni Samantha.

"Little Doms?"

"You know... the kids carrying Dom's genes. Dianne, Aubrey, and this little one were from Dom's egg, I'd carry them. Then the only one Dom carried was Dylan, so he's the only one who got my genes... Kami lang ni Dylan allergic sa eggs. The rest of the family, enjoyed this..." Older Sam said and Sam nods.

"Oh? They're all surrogate baby?"

"Yup... So they're all mine and Dom's kids..." sabi ni Samantha.

"And that girl made us carry three babies?!" Sam asked in rage.

"Little Sam... Pag mahal mo, mahal mo... and it doesn't matter, I love having kids..." sabi ni Samantha.

"I see..." sabi ni Sam and she mixed the eggs on the bowl with a deep sigh.

"May gusto ka bang sabihin?" Samantha asked as she made food.

"Uhm..."

"Its okay... Say it..."

"When she took me upstairs she said…uhm..." Sam said battling if she'll say what Older Dom said or not.

"Yes?"

"She said that she always liked me... us"

"Yes."

"Do you really believe that?"

"Yes."

"But-"

"It’s true, have you ever thought Dominique Valdez changing her surname to Lazaro? She gave up her name for us, if that wasn't love I don’t know anymore... And I always like Dom too.." sabi ni Samantha and Sam felt a shiver crawling up her skin.

"We don't.."

"We do..."

"Don't..."

"Do..." Older Sam said with a finality in her voice. She removed her apron and look fully at her young self. "When we got out of that bathroom door, you're hoping that Ella was the bad one, so you asked them.. right?"

"You know... Ayoko nang pagusapan yan, nakalimutan ko na yan-"

"Ako pa lolokohin mo?" Older Sam said. "We're disappointed that Dom is the rude one, we're crushing on her nung nakita natin siyang naglaro ng tennis for the first time..."

"No... no no no." Sam said as she shakes her head. "We hated her..."

"We don't.."

"She bullied me... when we’re still in highschool"

"But that was one time... Topher and the rest of the school is the one that bullied you, us, not her."

"But-"

"Sam... You think Dom is the most attractive girl in school..."

"I-"

"Do... Yes, you do..." Older Sam said and Sam shakes her head.

Its hard to have a fight against yourself... Its insane...

"I want to be friends with her," Sam admitted and Older Sam nods.

"Well... Now we’re talking, you're getting there. The last thing we want from Dom is friendship, we want her..."

"I don’t know... May boyfriend ako..." Sam said and Older Sam looked at her.

"Ow? Kayo pa din ni Toni?"

"Opo..."

"Oww..Okay...." Older Sam said. "Can I tell you something?" Sam nods "I don't know if what I'm about to tell you will impact you or not. I know you won't remember it when you get back, but I feel like it might stick to you subconsciously... We're smart so I need to try, It's important, so important."

"O-kay?" Sam said as she listens attentively.

"You're going to have a choice one day Sam. You're going to be at a party and you're going to have to decide whether to use the bathroom there or just wait until you get home. Don't wait. Use the bathroom."

"O-kay... Wait. What?"

Older Sam's face was grim. "I don't want to think about what would have happened if I hadn't gone to the bathroom, Sam. I'm sure my life would have been perfectly fine, but so much is different because I made that choice... I’m happy now because I made that choice." Older Sam said and her young self looked at her.

"Pwede bang malaman kung anong nangyari?"

"No..."

"O-kay..." Sam said and just nods. Use the bathroom, she reminded herself.

"Dont worry... You'll be fine..." Older Sam assured her. Then they heard footsteps on the stairs.

"I smelled my food..." Older Dom said, Sam knows the difference on their voices. Sam looked at the Doms walking towards them.

Older Dom walked to her wife and kissed her. "Babe..."

"Its okay honey, little Dom and I had the talk already, its fine..." sabi ni Dominique and she kissed her wife.

Dom walked to Sam and talked to her

"Hey..." Dom called and Sam looked at her and removed her apron. "I dont know you can cook-"

"Dom sorry... Hindi ko sinasadyang masampal ka kanina, I really dont-"

"Its okay... I mean its not okay, pero may magagawa pa ba ako?" Tanong ni Dom.

"Can we... talk?" Sam asked and Dom looked at her Older self, Dominique gave her a nod and Dom and Sam walk to the living room.

"So... What?" Dom asked and she sat down.

"Anong plano?"

"Plano?"

"Dom! We don’t belong here..." sabi ni Sam.

"I know that... Other Dom told me new years eve pa tayo makakabalik" sabi ni Dom and she looked to the kitchen at ng makita niyang di nakatingin si Dominique at Samantha sakanya bumulong siya kay Sam. "Dmitri..." Sam squint her eyes and slapped Dom's arms. "Aray naman!"

"Shut up okay?!" Sabi ni Sam "Akala ko bumait ka... But look... Dmitri? Ugh!"

"We're just having fun.." sabi ni Dom

"Having fun? Of me..." sabi ni Sam and she leaned forward to Dom. "Kailangan nating tanggapin muna kung ano ang nangyayari satin dito.."

"Eew no... I mean I dont want to." Sabi ni Dom.

"Dom hindi rin okay sa akin to... May boyfriend ako!" Sabi ni Sam and Dom felt something inside her. Something awful.

"Exactly!" Dom agreed. "Im not even... a... uhm." Dom was about to say 'the L word' as her face turned red.

"You can say it, it’s not like a Voldemort thing or something..." sabi ni Sam and Dom rolled her eyes.

"Okay..."Dom said and took a deep breath. "I’m not a lesbian..." sabi ni Dom and Sam were shocked.

Sabi ko na... Ayaw ni Dom. Sam thought

"Me either... well not now..." sabi ni Sam and Dom just stared at her.

I knew it, she doesn't like me. Dom thought and a bit disappointed

"Dom? Are you okay?"

"What?"

"You just zoned out..." sabi ni Sam and she gave Dom a smile. Dom felt one strong thump on her chest. "We just have to keep sane for the next eight days... After that? We can change the future, I know you don’t want these..."

"I... I uhm... Yeah, I know you don’t want any of these too..." Dom said and Sam nods as if she really agrees with what Dom said.

"I should go back there and help..." sabi ni Sam and Dom nod. "Bye..."

"Just go..." Dom said and Sam rolled her eyes and walk towards the kitchen. Dom was left alone on the living room thinking, battling inside. Napabuntong hininga na lang si Dom habang tinititigan si Sam. Sam caught her eyes and they exchange awkward smiles.

After their awkward exchange of smiles, Sam turned around and held her chest.

The two time travelers didn't noticed that they are being watched by Older Dom and Sam.

"Baby..." Older Sam called her wife. "You can hear them right? I mean you know what Little Dom's thinking right now..."

"I do..."

"Gusto nilang baguhin yung mangyayari..." sabi ni Samantha and she looked at her wife with worried eyes.

"I wont let them do that... I promise..." Sabi ni Dominique and she draped her arms on her wife's shoulders and she smile. "Baby... Do you remember our first kiss?"

"On your room... New years eve..."

"No... Baby, think..." Dom said and Sam squint her eyes at her wife and pout as she thinks, then after a few seconds Dom saw her wife's eyes grow wide. "Naaalala mo na?"

"Hm mm..." Sam nods too fast and her eyes were full of excitement. "On Dylan's room..."

"I can't believe you forgot our first kiss." Dominique said shaking her head.

"Not anymore..."

Then the silence in the house was gone when Aubrey goes down wearing her karate uniform.

"Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!"

Older Sam chuckled before replying. "In the kitchen!"

A little girl with black hair streaked into the room and slammed into Older Sam's back. Samantha had been expecting this and had braced against the counter. Aubrey tipped her head up, focusing wide brown eyes on her mother's face. "Mommy, guess what."

"What?" Older Sam asked dramatically.

"I got my purple belt!" the girl informed her in excitement, jumping in place and pulling at the ends of the purple belt around her waist.

"My little baby Ninja!!" Older Dom cheered, drawing the girl's attention away from Older Sam.

"Mama! You're home early." She climbed onto her mother's lap and leaned back against her.

"No, you're home late."

"Nuh uh!"

"Yuh huh!"

"No!"

"Ok you're right, I'm home early... Ate Dianne's friends need some vacation"

"I know!" The little girl threw her hands up and rolled her dark brown eyes.

"Where's your sister?" Older Dom asked. "I told her to change your clothes, Bakit mo suot yan?"

"She's on the phone with Ate Thea..." the little girl replied, she looked around and saw the time travelers "Mama? Sino nga po sila?"

"They are Dmitri and Alexis. What do you remember about My Daddy?"

"He's not nice but not bad," the girl replied.

"That's right. Well Grampa had a sister and his sister had a few kids and one of those kids had Aelxis. That makes Alexis your second cousin, or something equally difficult to understand. Then Dmitri here is related to your mommy somehow. She explained it but I stopped listening after about five minutes. It got complicated."

Aubrey nodded and it caused adoring smiles from Dom, Sam and Older Sam "You're really pretty," she told Sam "But you look sad. Do you need a hug?"

"I'm ok, but thank you," Sam replied with a gentle smile. Dom felt her chest clench with feeling at the sight.

She looked so beautiful, angelic almost... I meant it for Aubrey! Not Sam. Dom said talking to herself

"Ok,  bree-bree , you need to go get changed for dinner... Sabihin mo kay Ate Di to come downstairs we need to talk... Okay? Now go..." Older Dom told her baby girl.

"But I want to wear my gi mama!"

"You will get your gi dirty!"

"I won't!"

"You will."

"Won't!"

"Will."

"UGH!" Aubrey crawled out of Older Dom's lap and stormed out of the room with a little angry huff.

"She gets that from you," Older Dom pointed on Young Sam. Older Sam shakes her head as she sets up the table and Dom didn't notice that there's a smile crept on her face.

They heard loud steps coming from the stairs

"Bakit suot ni Aubrey yung Karate gi niya? Ano bang ginagawa mo sa kwarto mo?" Older Dom called out.

"Thea called and I didn't want my nosy mothers listening in on our conversation." She walked in, still in her uniform and a very neutral expression on her face. "Oooh, eggy eggs!" She announced happily, snatching a bite before her mother could get it away.

"Hey! Hands off you little brat." Older Dom called her daughter.

"Words! The baby can hear you!" sinaway naman sila agad ni Samantha.

"Sorry babe..." Older Dom said and looked at her daughter again.

"What are you gonna do about it Grandma?" Dianne teased her Mama with a wink

"Hold on, let me get my cane so I can give you a proper walloping," Older Dom snarked right back, swatting her daughter's behind.

"Ow! Jerk," the teen grumbled, jumping out of the way so her mother couldn't get another swing in. "I'm going to go change little Jet Li and you can tell me about our guests."

"What did I just say about words Honey?" Older Sam asked her daughter and Dianne smiled at her mommy.

"Actually, we need to tell you now, while Aubrey's busy." Older Dom informed her daughter.

The conversation with Dianne was quick and painless. She didn't complain about how she thought her mommy were hot and she didn't get excited about how much fun it was going to be. In fact, she barely seemed interested in the time travelers themselves. Instead she asked questions about the event itself and the story they were telling Aubrey.

"Well..." Dianne said when they were finished and all her questions had been answered, "I'm going to go change now. Nice to meet you, distant family relations who I've never heard of before." She winked and twirled.

"Isama mo na din si Dylan pagbaba niyo and make sure Bree's actually cleaning up, will you?"

Dianne's reply was a wave as she left the room.

 Older Dom turned her grinning face to the teens, Dom and Sam "Well, that went well." and they both gave Older Dom a nod and a smile "Ugh... I love them.."

Sam whipped her head in Older Sam's direction. The woman just gave the young Sam a wink.

The Doms caught the exchange and they both looked over to their other half.

"Ano nanaman yan?" Two Dom asked in unison, Older Sam and Sam giggled.

"Walaaaa..." sabay nilang sagot and the kitchen was filled with laughters from the four ladies.

________________________