Paint My Love

Chapter 4: The Sad Reality

Tahimik lamang sa hapag-kainan si Magnolia. Dumating ang buong pamilya ni Carlo para sa family dinner. Hindi niya alam kung bakit. Sabi ng mommy at daddy niya, business daw ang pag-uusapan. Masigla ang lahat ng tao doon hanggang magsalita ang daddy niya.

“So Carlo, Tito Cesar told us that you would like to court Rose,” sabi ng daddy niya na ang tinutukoy ay ang lolo ni Carlo. Iyon pala ang pag-uusapan nila. Family dinner na business meeting daw pero iyon naman pala ay tungkol lang sa love story nito sa kapatid niya. Ipinagkibit-balikat na lamang niya iyon dahil wala siyang karapatang magselos.

“That’s right po, Tito Andrei.” He was ever respectful. Halatang medyo kabado ito at napapangiti lang ang daddy nito at daddy niya.

“But Rose is only fourteen, young man,” seryosong sabi ng daddy nila.

I told you so. Gusto niyang sabihin dito. Pero ano ba ang magagawa niya kung gustung-gusto ng mga ito ang isa’t isa? That alone was enough to pierce her chest and crush her heart into dust. Carlo liked her sister, not her. But, she did not want to be pathetic anymore. She was too young anyway, and she wanted to believe that maybe there was someone else out there waiting for her.

“I’m willing to wait for her, tito. Maybe until she turns eighteen or finishes college.”

“You like her very much, huh?” Nakangiti na ang daddy niya.

“Yes po, tito.”

“How about you, Rose? Do you really like Carlo?”

“Yes, daddy,” simpleng sabi nitong nakayuko habang hinihiwa ang steak.

“Very well. You have my permission, young man. Take care of her.”

“I’m giving you my word, tito. Thank you very much.”

“The problem is…” Sadyang ibinitin ng lolo niya ang sasabihin na hindi na mapigilang sumali sa usapan.

“Yes?” Natatawa na rin ang lolo ni Carlo.

“When the right time comes and Rose doesn’t like Carlo anymore. How will you deal with it, young man?”

“I’m willing to wait for her, lolo,” tukoy nito sa lolo nila. “And while I’m waiting for her, I’ll prove that I'm the right guy for her,” nahihiyang sabi nito na bahagyang namula ang mukha.

She was more than sure that it was more than liking. Carlo was already in love with her sister. Her love was a hopeless case. Yes, she was already in love with him. On the same day they talked, she realized she was falling for him. And all she could do at that moment was to recognize her feelings, accept that some things were not meant to be, and move on. That was hard to do, but she was determined to forget him as fast as she could. Her heart was breaking, but she could not stop it, making her feel helpless.

“What can you say, young lady?”

“That’s fine with me,” nakangiti nang sagot ni Rose at ngumiti kay Carlo.

“How about you, Lia?”

“Magnolia?”

“Huh bakit po daddy?” Abala siya sa pag-iisip. Hindi niya na namalayan ang usapan at naubos na rin pala niya ang kinakain.

“Ikaw talagang bata ka,” nakangiting sabi ng daddy niya. “What can you say about it?”

“Saan po?”

“Naku ayan dahil busy ka sa pag-ubos ng steak at mashed potato, hindi mo na nasundan ang pinag-uusapan,” natatawang sabi ng mommy niya. “Naku ganito talaga si Lia. Mana sa akin na mahilig kumain pero mabilis ang metabolism.” Natawa ang mga magulang ni Carlo. Paglingon niya kay Rose ay nakita niya ang pagsimangot at pag-irap nito.

“I was asking you, anak, if you approve Carlo to be your sister’s suitor?”

“Pwede na,” biro niya at malapad na ngumiti na ikinagulat ng mga magulang niya. “B-bakit po?”

“Wala naman anak. Hindi lang nasanay iyang daddy mo na ngumingiti ka. You seem so happy. Are you happy for your sister?”

“Of course, mommy,” nakangiti niyang sabi. She was happy to see her sister happy. Only, her heart was breaking knowing that it was Carlo who made her sister happy. Pero hindi na dapat malaman ng kahit sino na gusto niya ito dahil magiging magulo pa ang lahat. Paglibot ng tingin niya ay napansin niyang nakatingin lang sa kanya si Carlo. Nang magtama ang tingin niya ay kumunot ang nito at napangiti sa kanya. Biglang kumabog na naman ang dibdib niya. But, she learned to calm her nerves whenever Carlo was around. Malaking bagay siguro na nagsisimula na siyang tanggapin na hindi niya ito pwedeng gustuhin o mahalin.

PASADO alas-onse na ng gabi, nasa likod-bahay pa rin si Magnolia at gumuguhit si ilalim ng malamlam na ilaw na nakabukas at liwanag ng buwan. Sapat na naman iyon para makita ang ginagawa. Mabuti na lang at walang tao doon kung hindi ay baka nabuko na siya sa kanyang sikreto. Paano ay si Carlo ang kanyang iginuguhit. Paraan niya siguro iyon para magsimulang tanggaping mahal niya ito pero mananatili ito sa puso at imahinasyon niya. Isa itong magandang larawang mananatiling nakapinta sa kanya pero hindi magkakatotoo.

I never planned to fall in love with you, but I did. No one should know about it because it’s not right to feel this way. That will be too ambitious. Hindi niya na mabilang kung ilang beses niya na itong iginuhit. Malapit na yata siyang makabuo ng collection niya na puro ito ang subject. Meron siyang guhit dito na nakaupo ito sa bench nila sa hardin sa ilalim ng puno. Meron itong guhit na naka-side view at nakatingin lang sa harap. Pero ang pinakamarami niyang naiguhit at iyung mga pagkakataong diretso itong nakatingin sa kanya. Ilang beses lang nangyari iyon, mabibilang niya pa nga sa daliri. Pero nakatatak iyon sa kanya. Those were priceless moments that always brought her joy.

They were poles apart. But they proved that not all opposite poles would attract each other. They repelled for some unknown reason. Maybe he thought she was not normal. Sometimes she would find herself wanting to hate her idiosyncrasy, but she couldn’t. That was who she was. And those who truly loved her would understand and accept her.