Dusk Kisses

01

July 2007

"Dad, I've been thinking about this since I transferred here..." there's something down my throat and it feels like it's stopping me from saying these words. Well, what could a small nervousness do? buo na ang desisyon ko. matagal ko nang pinagplanuhan 'to and now is the right time to finally make that plan work.

"and what is it?" he put his silverwares down as he reached for his table napkin. marahan niyang pinunasan ang labi habang nakataas ang kilay, obviously waiting for what i'm going to say.

"You know naman that I am not a morning person, right? and preparing to go to school at 4am isn't really working for me--- i mean how about waking up a little... late like 6am? but considering how much the traveling time is, parang impossible" i meant to sound so problematic para isipin nilang nahihirapan na talaga ako sa paggising ng sobrang aga. I know I may sound like a brat but that's the only reason I could pull up to cover for the real one.

"so.. what you're implying is?"

"maybe... maybe i could live with Ate... sa unit niya? Dad, take a look at this, mas malapit 'yun sa school, and mag-isa lang naman si ate do'n but you saw her bills, dinaig pa 'yung bills ng average person na nakatira with the whole family. and also, we're unnecessarily consuming too much gas... ate has her own car so that means she drives herself to school---and ako? manong still has to send me there" i stopped when they seemed uninterested. damn, i want you guys to listen! this may affect my sanity!

"Dad, are you listening?" I badly needed them to hear me out.

"yeah, of course, keep going" a wide smile invaded my lips.

"so, i thought, if sabay na lang kaming papasok ni ate plus hindi lang siya 'yung makikinabang sa mga stuffs niya sa condo like microwaves, ac unit, television--- etcetera... i'm confident that it'll be more efficient" i elaborated. i really looked forward to this day, i want them to see this as me proposing like a professional. I pressed my lips together as i began overthinking. pa'no kapag hindi sila pumayag? pa'no kung never na nga talaga ako makakaalis dito? God, It all sounds exhausting.

"I see.."

I was slightly taken aback when Mom suddenly called me. No, no, no, no! "but, Sela. we don't have to worry about being efficient, marami tayong resourc---"

fck it, she's just making me more nervous! i'm sure hahanap siya ng mas maraming dahilan para hindi ako makaalis dito. "Mom, please?" i cut her off as disappointment flashed in her face. "sorry.." i whispered, looking down. wala na... i had that chance, i held it so tight. but maybe some things aren't just that easy.

"Hola mi amada familia!" The silence broke when Aia just appeared out of nowhere. I gave her an up and down look with my sulking face.

Life is just so unfair! ugh!

she walked down to mom and kissed her on the cheek, nagmano lang siya kay dad tapos umupo sa tabi ko.

"how's school?" dad asked. i don't know what is there with the question to make her smile fade. 'yun nga lagi nilang pinag-uusapan tuwing magdidinner siya dito, hindi pa rin ba siya sanay? matataas naman ang grades niya...

"couldn't be better," her face said otherwise. tila siya nagluluksa.

"I want to be the first one to see your grades," dad demanded, as always.

"sure.." tatango tango siyang umiwas ng tingin habang inaabot ang kanin.

"Lauri asked a favor... pwede raw ba siyang tumira sa unit mo?" why did he even asked that? it's not like kay Aia pa manggagaling 'yung final decision.

she seemed kinda shocked. She looked at me with questioning eyes. it felt as if they're asking what's the problem and why i suddenly wanted to live with her. I just gave her a short stare with a pleading smile.

"it's fine... wait, pero bakit?"

"she said it'd be more efficient" he went directly to the point.

she leaned closer to me, "you sure about that?" her voice felt as though it's telling me more than what she just said. like i should reconsider some things.

my elbow was over the table habang nakasandal ang baba ko sa palad ko. i played with my fork as i answered her. "never been this sure" nakaharap ako sa kaniya habang sinusubo 'yung pagkain ko.

she shook her head which made me widen my eyes abruptly, oh my, God. ayaw niya?! "got no problem with that" my shoulders fell slouched as i felt so relieved.

"hindi ka ba maiistorbo sa pag-aaral?" mom asked as her brow shot up. why are they so pressed about her studies?

"i always study in lib, nakakatemp kasing humiga and matulog 'pag sa condo" she stated.

"okay.." dad has made up his mind. lalo yata akong kinabahan. basta, whatever his decision is, mahirap man, tatanggapin ko pa rin. a part of me won't understand his decision but the rest loves him. i did my best to convince him! kung 'di pa rin siya papayag, baka hindi lang talaga enough 'yung best ko. i could try again next school year.

"finish your food and pack your things, i'll wire you your allowance" my eyes widened. Oh my, God! So kay Aia nga 'yung huling desisyon?! What the heck? Even so, I'm so happy, finally I'd get to be wherever I want plus there won't be a curfew anymore! I got teary eyed due to so much happiness.

"Thank you!" my smile was wide enough to make the edges of my lips hurt. "tapos na pala akong kumain" still wearing that smile, I bit my lower lip then dashed up the stairs to get my things.

wala na 'kong dapat iempake because i have been prepared since last week, since pinlano ko magpaalam.

i called manong over the intercom, i asked for his help. hindi ko naman kayang buhatin lahat ng luggage ko 'no.

"Aia, let's go?" I enthusiastically called her while going down the stairs.

"lauri," dad's authoritative voice.

"a-ate pala" I smiled awkwardly.

"kumalma ka, ha? pang anim na subo ko pa lang 'to" she rolled her eyes.

"aren't you going to kiss your dad goodbye, Lauri?" mom asked on my way out. iniintay na lang kami ni manong, goodbye big lonely freakin mansion.

"right" i chuckled awkwardly, "bye, dad, thank you" i lean to give him a kiss on his cheek.

"ang aga mong umuwi ah?"

I have been transferred to my sister's school. wala namang major adjustments, doon din kasi ako nag aral ng 2nd and 3rd grade ko.

i just gave her a nod at dumiretso na sa kwarto ko. i was so tired dahil nag activity lang kami buong araw. Naghanap ng mga clubs na sasalihan, both academic and extracurricular.

sa academic, i chose to join the school chime. medyo familiar naman ako sa pagsusulat ng mga articles and i really love trying something new. may mga classmates din akong nagtry sumali do'n and most of them seemed like nagpasa lang sila ng application form para masabi lang na may sinalihan silang club. i won't be shocked kung kung ano-ano lang 'yung nilagay nila sa entries nila. kapag kasi hindi natanggap sa club okay nang hindi sumali sa iba kasi closed na.

i tried Drum and lyre sa non-academic... wala lang akong choice kasi hinatak ako ni Syrus, friend ko. wala daw siyang masyadong ka-close do'n.

"laur" i almost jumped when Aia abruptly appeared at the side of my door. nirenovate 'yung unit niya, malaki naman kaya hindi sumikip kahit nilagyan ng isa pang room for me. "anong gusto mo for dinner?" she seemed to have trouble with choosing what our dinner would be. pang 5th day ko na dito at parang nauubusan na talaga siya ng ideas. she said fast food lang naman daw kasi 'yung kinakain niya nung siya lang 'yung nandito.

"pasta kaya?"

"spaghetti?" disgust was written all over her face. She just prefers white pasta.

and just like her, hindi ko rin gusto ng spaghetti "oh my, God, no" she laughed at how i said that.

"how about garlic parmesan?" her eyes circled as her lips parted. she snapped her fingers.

"Sakto! Meron d'yang pasta place sa mall, they also offer chicken wings. ano, g ka?" I smiled out of excitement. mall at this hour? living without my parents has started to sink in for me. I can feel freedom, oh gee.

"okay, bihis lang ako. bibili rin ako ng school supplies" she waited for ten minutes bago siya nangulit sa 'kin, gutom na raw siya.

"I didn't think it would be this great" i told her, kakatapos lang namin kumain and now, we're on our way down to the bookstore.

"ano?"

"living without mom and dad" I showed an apologetic smile. I know I shouldn't feel like this, dapat hindi ako ganito kasaya dahil nalayo na ko sa family ko, but what else could i do? e 'to 'yung matagal ko nang gusto. I always daydreamed about this day. and now it's here, i feel bad for being happy and free.

Aia being herself tousled my hair, tinapik ko rin 'yung kamay niya kasi ginugulo na niya 'yung hair ko. "hindi ka na baby" she faked a sad face at kunwari pang nagpupunas ng luha, i roll my eyes as i look away. she ended up laughing dahil sa inis ko.

"ang dami mo namang bibilhin, ikaw ba supplier sa room niyo?" she asked when she saw how much stuffs are in my basket.

"no," I strongly said. "I just don't like asking for things from someone."

"don't you think masyado ka ng independent?"

"how is that independent? stop giving meaning to what i usually do. sa totoo lang, nakakahiya kaya manghingi" she shook her head.

"hindi kaya" expressing her disapproval.

"walang hiya ka lang--ouch!" she tapped my nape.

"bibig mo, ha, masyadong pasmado"

"nando'n ba 'yung bibig ko?!" i rolled my eyes.

"ewan ko sayo, bilisan mo na d'yan inaantok na 'ko"

i obliged. nung bayaran na, bigla siyang nawala. tss, she knew that i'd have her pay for this kaya tinakasan na 'ko. i got no choice but to give my card instead, good thing dad just wired me my allowance.

weird enough, she just appeared nung na swipe na 'yung card ko. I glared at her while she pretended to not notice it. she saw me struggling with the bags so she got some out of my hand. buti naman.

"may pupuntahan ka pa ba?" she asked, at first i didn't answer her. i pretended like i didn't hear her just like how she pretended earlier. aba di pwedeng ako lang 'yung nagmumukhang tanga. para kaya akong batang nawawala kanina. i looked for her with my eyes while the cashier was doing her job kanina. muntik ko pang sabihin na wait lang dahan dahanin mo naman 'yung pag check-out.

lumapit siya sa 'kin, i thought she was going to whisper something "hoy, sabi ko may pupuntahan ka pa ba" she shouted near my ear! my eyes widened, i was shocked! feeling ko may nabasag na sa loob ng tenga ko!

"My god, para kang baliw!" I looked around to check if she caught some people's attention. oh fck, she did.

"wala na!" naiinis kong sambit before walking ahead of her diretso sa parking lot.

mabagal siyang maglakad. mabagal siya sa lahat. i ended up putting the bags on the floor habang naghihintay sa kaniya sa tabi ng kotse niya. i was about to get bored but the sight of someone made me stand straight as i fixed my hair a little.

he was walking towards my way, kasama niya 'yung classmate namin.

i waited for them to see me pero parang sobrang busy nila sa pinaguusapan nila. okay i'll just approach them, we're classmates naman. siguro di sila makicreepy-han pag nag hi ako tutal kilala naman nila ako. well seeing people i know at this hour is such a flex, i used to go straight home noong nasa lower grade level pa 'ko kaya bago lang sa 'kin 'yung ganito.

I flashed a small smile, "Hi, Kent" I waved.

he stopped talking as they trail their eyes to me, i tilted my head a little bit on the right to get a better view of my other classmate "Hi, Daustine" he raised his brows as he nodded then smiled.

Kent's forehead creased as he looked solely to my face as if he was trying to identify a foreign object, "excuse me... do i... know you?" i blinked thrice. my lips parted but i was quick enough to close it. what did he just say? i mean---How could he?! it's been more than a month, nakasama ko na siya sa mga ibang groupings, grabe naman yata bakit di niya ako kilala?! i subtly bit my lower lip, but i saw him glancing at it kaya tinigilan ko. kahit si Daustine takang taka 'yung tingin sa kaibigan niya! he's so impossible!

i just froze. kating kati na 'yung mata kong umirap.

"'tol.." Daustine eyed his friend.

Kent winced amid looking at his friend, "what?!" singhal niya. his initial reaction to his friend's weird face. parang di niya maintindihan si Daustine.

i inhaled a large amount of air before breathing heavily. "Lauri Selene, classmate mo" i emphasized the last two words. gaano ba karaming tao 'yung nakita na niya at hindi niya ako natandaan? considering na magkaklase lang kami, almost everyday niya 'kong nakikita, ah?

"ahh, okay" his tone was devoid of any emotion. Those words were enough to make my lips partially open in shock, again. He scratched the side of his brows after then he used his fingers to brush his hair.

Is he really like this o hindi niya lang alam kung pa'no magrespond? I wanted to ask that to Daus pero parang siya na rin mismo 'yung nahihiya sa ka-awkward-an ng kaibighan niya. i felt somehow disappointed. he was one of my 3rd grade classmates. gano'n na ba talaga katagal kaya di niya 'ko narecognize? bakit naman si Daustine kilala pa rin ako?

"Laur, late na, ah? ikaw lang mag-isa?" Daustine asked, diverting my attention from Kent. "need a lift?" he offered. buti pa siya marunong makipag-usap.

"nah, i have someone with me, but thanks" i said, staring at Kent. hindi ko talaga siya ma-gets.

"balita ko nag pasa ka daw ng entry sa school chime? nagsusulat ka?"

"hindi, i just wanted to try something different" i intended to answer his questions directly. isang tanong, isang sagot. siguro sinasalo niya lang talaga 'yung kaibigan niya.

"ahh" tumango tango pa siya. "Admin si Kent do'n, 'di ba, p're?" he just eyed him for more than 10 seconds saka umiling iling na nagbaba ng tingin. he's odd.

"really? since when?" I asked in a monotone voice. just to reciprocate what Kent did.

"nung grade 7 siya sumali, most of the school paper's headline, siya may gawa. hindi yata nawawala pangalan niya sa school paper. either siya mismo 'yung laman o siya 'yung nagsulat, low-key nerd" he laughed, teasing his friend.

"Sorry to interrupt pero may pupuntahan pa kasi kami, ingat, Selene" Kent caught my attention when he suddenly spoke. The confidence was different from earlier. mas buo. He didn't even let me say goodbye to Daustine, hinila niya na lang by force.

"o-okay..."

"Bye laura!" nagpupumiglas si Daustine na nagpaalam. i smiled as i waved goodbye, too.

Just when they're about to go up the stairs pababa naman si Aia. tinignan niya pa 'yung dalawa nung nakasalubong niya. i just crossed my arms while averting my eyes from her. medyo malamig dito sa parking kasi open area.

"nakita ko 'yun" she mentioned.

my brows furrowed, e 'to nanaman siya. "so?" she opened the car trunk saka nilagay 'yung mga bags na dala namin.

"crush mo 'yun? ang pogi, ah. great taste"

"no! he's just my classmate, nakakapikon nga. you know, almost one and a half month na kaming magkaklase tapos when i said hi sabi niya magkakilala daw ba kami?"

"e, bakit ka kasi nag-hi?" nanunuksong tanong niya.

"kasi kakilala ko siya?" i sarcastically responded.

"sus," she just grinned. "di naman lahat ng kilala mo, kilala ka rin. vice versa" her words rendered me silent. she has a point, pero gusto ko lang naman kasi mag-hi! it's my first time to see someone i know outside at this hour! "crush mo lang talaga 'yun"

"you know what, malisyosa ka lang" I rolled my eyes. she clicked the unlock on the key fob then she drove home.

Today is the day na ipopost na sa bulletin kung sino ang mga nakapasa at kung sino ang mga hindi. Sumali rin ako ng drum and lyre club, mabuti na rin at may back up club ako. dagdag points din 'yun sa card.

"Lauri! Nando'n na 'yung list!" Sinalubong ako ni Syrus sa hallway. she's the one i'm close with since 2nd grade. we never lost connection despite the distance. kakatapos lang ng class namin. i don't know but i suddenly started feeling all the activities of my blood vessels. parang namimintig sa kaba 'yung puso ko! please, please!

agad naming hinanap 'yung announcement ng mga clubs na sinalihan namin. "laur, dito!" hinila niya 'ko. fck. i bit my lower lip as i stare at the paper.

"oh, my gosh" she looked surprised. hindi ako nakapasa sa chime... "uy, cheer up. may back-up naman tayo 'di ba? check mo 'yung drum and lyre, tara..." hawak niya lang ang palapulsuhan ko na parang nakaalalay lang kung sakaling gusto kong maglupasay na parang bata.

I sighed, out of disappointment. but i liked the school chime more. "oh, ayan. pasado tayo!" she smiled as though nothing happened earlier.

"may sinalihan ka pang isa 'di ba? check mo muna, hintayin na lang kita" she nodded then started checking on different bulletin boards. i faced the outside view, pinatong ko 'yung elbows ko sa railings as my head fell back. wala masyadong tao. wala masyadong makakakita ng magtatantrums ko. naiinis talaga ako, all these time i thought i did well on that paper. akala ko enough. i even imaged myself inside the school chime office.

stupid.

I subtly kick the wall with my toe. I really wanted to join that club.

I stopped, then rested my forehead against the wall.

gano'n ba kapangit 'yung article ko?

i intentionally bumped my head against the wall, baka sakaling maisip ko kung anong mali sa paper ko.

"mas mauunang mabasag 'yung ulo mo kaysa sa pader" it sounds like Kent. i looked at him in deviated way, tss. lalo akong naaasar sa ngiti niya.

"Pwede ba?!" i was also shocked. why did i act like that? why did i snap at him? pero nangyari na, e. Ano pa bang magagawa ko?

I frowned at him.

Wag ngayon, please lang! Badtrip ako!

"papansin" I'm sure it was a whisper.

Napalingon si Syrus kay Kent sabay bumalik ang tingin sa'kin. Frustration was written all over her face, tila ba nagtatanong kung bakit ko sinigawan si Kent.

Hindi ko rin alam, sy..

"Hoy, babae! Teka wag mo 'ko iwan"

I walked out, hence, she shouted.

"I-i'm sorry" I felt how my body stiffened when I accidentally bumped into someone.

she just raised her brow as her stare did all the intimidating things! Nakakakaba..ewan! She looks sassy and very classy.

This.. is not so cool.

I surveyed her look, nasa bewang ang haba ng buhok, manipis 'yung lips niya at medyo may pagka almond ang shape ng mata mas matangkad siya sa akin kaya mapagkakamalan kong model.

"Lauri! Let's go!" Tawag sa akin ni Mae sabay hila sa palapulsuhan ko. Wala akong ideya kung saan siya nanggaling, bigla-bigla na lang sumulpot.

Tinignan ko ang hawak ni Mae sa Palapulsuhan ko at muling bumalik ang paningin sa babaeng nabangga ko. Napakataray talaga ng itsura niya, pinapakabog ng matindi 'yung dibdib ko.

she just imperceptibly sighed before walking past me, i couldn't help but to follow her with my eyes. Mae shook my hand and because of that snapped back to reality.

"Hawaiian barbeque with rice po ate, tas chuckie" ani Syrus.

Mae pulled me down to the school cafeteria. Xera, a new friend, reserved a table for us.

"lauri, Anong sa 'yo?"

"Sinigang na lang." Tsaka ko nilingon ang mga taong dumadaan sa likod namin, baka kasi nakakaharang na ako sa dinadaanan nila.

Syrus said na hanapin niya daw muna kung saan umupo si Xera para di na daw namin ikutin 'yung buong caf.

while looking around, my eyes accidentally trailed to Kent who was also... looking? staring? to me... you know what, i'm completely clueless.

masyadong matagal para maging sulyap pero masyadong maikli para maging titig. diretsong nakatingin sa mata ko but immediately averted the moment our eyes met. That gave me a strange feeling that I couldn't point out. weirdo.

"Oh, ineng, heto na." Pagtawag ni ateng tindera. Inabot niya 'yung order. We paid the bill using our cards.

Sy didn't take so long, agad rin siyang nakabalik. "Tara do'n tayo pumwesto kila Mark, do'n umupo si Xera, Wala na raw vacant, eh."

"Bakit pa kasi nila isinabay 'yung lunch natin sa mga grade 7" asik ni Mae.

My eyes automatically widened when i realized something. Doon din nakaupo si Kent! doon ko siya nakita kanina!

there's just something with that guy that pisses me off! remembering how he ruined my moment earlier? at 'yung pagkwestyon niya kung kilala niya ba ko?

i won't be freakin' surprised kung nakalimutan niya na naman ako.

"Sa room na lang kaya tayo. Ang init dito eh" i reasoned kahit naka centralized air conditioner 'yung cafeteria. I don't care if it will make me sound pathetic or what! All i want is to eat peacefully!

"Huh? Di naman ah?" Confusion took over Syrus' face.

"Sige na please?" Pilit ko. i almost whined.

"Pero--"

"Okay, see you later!" i know it's rude but I abruptly cut her off then dashed off.

Nang matapos akong kumain ay binalik ko na lang 'yung mga utensils na ginamit ko.

Days passed by in a blink. Hindi naman kami masyadong busy, lesson doon, quiz dito.

"Hoy babae!" Walang hiyang sigaw ni Syrus. Kaming dalawa lang ang narito sa classroom dahil break time kaya malakas ang loob niyang sumigaw.

she's unnecessarily so maingay. Napailing nalang ako before making an eye roll.

"Oh? Kailangan mo?" I said in monotone.

"Ako Pa? Ako pa ang may kailangan?" She frustratingly said habang nakaturo ang index finger niya sa sarili.

Napataas ang isang kilay ko

"right! kailangan kong kailanganin mo 'ko" God, feeling ko may nabasag sa loob ng tenga ko.

"Ano namang kakailanganin ko sa 'yo?" Litong ani ko. She drag her hand onto her waist na para ba'ng pagod na pagod. sa'n ba siya galing?

"you transferred back here and you're an unfamiliar face to few people in our room"

"so?" sagot ko.

"hence! kailangan mong magparticipate sa sharing sa feast day.... kung ayaw mo, unlucky you because you just have to deal with it or deal with freakin' it"

"ano bang ish-share? pagkain? supplies? money?" I asked. She walked closer to me until the distance that's left between us was approximately less than a meter.

"Grabe ang clingy ha"

She told me what to share, hindi naman pala 'yung mga material things! Gosh, i would rather share those kesa sa life experience. She also instructed me how to share them kesyo para raw maganda 'yung flow. Pero feeling ko... Di ko rin naman gagamitin 'yun.

August

"Oy, happyy feast day!"

"Tara kumain muna tayo!" Sigaw ni Iza, one of my classmates.

"Oo nga later na mag picture!"

"Ay nako, teh! Ngayon na dahil sure akong haggard na 'ko mamaya! Baka daigin ko pa 'yung losyang!"

Everyone was so enthusiastic and excited. They're all doing great.

"Okay. students, attention! First, kakain muna tayo. Second, we'll be having a prayer and then after that we'll start our open sharing kung saan ise-share niyo ang mga karanasan niyo sa buhay niyo. kayo nang bahala sa games niyo. Is that clear?" Ms. Antonio told us.

"Yes, Miss!" sabi niya rin na may aasikasuhin lang siya sa faculty kaya mauna na kaming kumain.

I was at the part of our room wherein naka puwesto 'yung mga pagkain.

Target spotted! carbonara.

I was about to get the pasta tongs when I felt something behind me. It felt like a person. I know it's a he. it just seemed so tall.

I inhaled a large amount of air before turning around to see who was that.

my jaw dropped. The time froze as my heart pounded violently, my eyes captured a man who was too close to me. I watched him reach for something while the strands of his hair fell down like a feather. i had to look up to see his face clearly because he's exceptionally tall and attractive--- wtf?! Seriously?

Why is he this close?! Oh, my God. I just snapped back to reality, nevertheless I was still stunned so I pushed him!

his eyes widened, realizing that he's about to fall on the cold solid ground! ako rin! nagulat din ako!

I did not expect him to fall, akala ko mababalance niya! fck!

"Oh, my God." i covered my mouth dramatically. ang dugyot niyang tignan! the ulam was all over his clothes! it's orange-y. tangina menudo pa yata 'yung kinuha niya.

"I'm so-sorry, I'm sorry" I looked at him with apologetic eyes. I've seen nothing but anger and annoyance in his face!

his jaw dangerously clenched. and I started to panic.

hindi ko alam kung anong uunahin ko. kung pagpagin ko ba 'yung mga natirang karne sa damit niya, kumuha ng tissue o tumakbo.

God fcking damn it. I love my life!

when i decided, he aimed to get up on his feet pero natigilan siya nang makita akong pinupunsan 'yung damit niya.

i was too worried, hindi ko na alam kung anong pinupunasan ko basta may maalis akong dumi!

tangina hindi natatanggal!

I was about to get another brand new tissue when he held my wrist to stop me. his eyes were a shade darker. "i-i'm sorry..." I looked down. I bit my lower lip, nakakahiya na. sobra.

"Get off me" he commanded.

"h-ha?"

"I said get the damn off of me" he repeated but he cursed this time.

hindi ko alam kung saan ako titingin. my hands are shaking! i tried to clasp it together to stop the trembling. i quietly stood up.

"y-you need help?" I offered 

he looked at me with his piercing eyes. i swear, if only looks could melt, i would've been melted hot seconds ago. he turns my offer down, leaving me astounded with my hand awkwardly hanging in the air. He helped himself then walked out as the crowd made his way.