Experience Love

Experience Love 19: Parokya

A week after our graduation my blockmates planned an outing. We rented a villa with its own pool, fun right? We spent the day having fun games, although we have known each other for almost 4 years it still felt different to be able to mingle with everyone. It was our last chance to get know each other outside a classroom. The kinks, the laughter, and 'asaran' filled the whole villa. Everyone is having a good time, no one can be 'pikon' so that the vibe will not be killed.

I got up and went to the kitchen to get some food. Through the kitchen nook I watched everyone laugh, Parang lahat magbabarkada, walang matalino, walang bumabagsak dati, at walang out of place.

"Oh, bakit andiyan ka? Sumali ka don wag ka madaya." He said. I laughed and nod my head to agree.

I sat beside my friend just in time for me to take shots.

After dinner, guys started getting in the pool. Music got louder, beat got sicker, and beer came in. Not interested to get wet I sat on one of the poolside chairs and enjoyed my beer while watching everyone have fun on the water.

"Di ka sasali?" He sat on the grass beside me, holding his beer up and said "Tagay!".

He is the type of guy that usually does not speak a lot in our class. He has his group of friends, but I usually see him alone in the library not to read but to listen to music on his earphones while using a book to cover him. He is a smart guy, funny when he wants to, and quiet most of the time. I consider him as a friend although we don't talk a lot inside the classroom instead we send each other text messages, sometimes he will send me messages making fun of our professor who repeatedly saying a word to the point it stays on your mind for a while. I just smile and shake my head slowly for him to notice that I have read it.

"Eh ikaw bakit di ka magswimming?" I took a swig from my beer and added "Tamad ka din Mabasa no?"

He laughed and nod his head. "Gusto ko lang mag chill dito."

As the night goes deeper people started to get tired, some got really drunk and called it a night. Few guys stayed beside the pool to have more drinks.

My friends and I stayed in one room; we were playing cards while sharing funny stories during our College days. When everyone got tired, we decided to call it a night so that we can get up early to enjoy the pool before checking out. Uncomfortably, I got up and went to the kitchen for a glass of water. It's hard for me to sleep on times like this. I noticed that few guys are still on the pool area smoking and having drinks.

"Di pa kayo lasing?" I jokingly asked them.

"Patapos na din, inuubos lang namin to." One guy answered then showed me the blunt. "Gusto mo?"

I shrugged and took a smooth long drag of it. It was good blunt I must say.

I opened a beer and went on farthest area of the lawn. Overseeing the lit golf course, I sat and enjoyed the view.

"Tagay." He said. Placed a chair beside me, he lit a cigarette and offered me one. "Nag-eenjoy ka ba?"

"Oo naman." Breathing out the smoke from the cig I turned to him and asked "Ikaw ba hind?"

He gave me a little nod before answering; "Kala ko kasi di ka nag-eenjoy kaya ntulog ka agad."

"Baliw." I answered while laughing. "Masaya nga eh."

I kept staring at the golf course, keeping him on my peripheral I can see him giving me a look and  then looking back at the course.

"Eh sa ganito?" He asked, still staring at the golf course.

"Saks lang." I answered. I tried so hard not to smile. It is what it is.

After finishing the second bottle he asked me if I still want one, I said yes, he said that everyone's inside and only the two of us are left outside.

"Isang beer nalang tapos matutulog na din ako. Mauna ka na sa loob sige." Assured him.

"Yoko. Isa pa ako beer sige."

He played a song from a band that he really likes. I closed my eyes, slowly swinging my head to the beat of the music. I felt the late-night breeze in my face and cold beer bottle on my hand, I kinda like this, somehow.

" Naalala mo pa ba ang iyong sinabi mga sinabi

Nung ako'y may problema

Sabi mo, " Lahat ng problema'y kayang lampasan

Basta't tayo'y nagsasama at nag-iinuman"

He sang the song as if it were him who wrote it. Maybe he's really a fan of Parokya ni Edgar. We sat there and listened to a couple of songs. He kept me accompanied. Bottles after bottles of beer we sat under the star lit sky.

"Hindi ko alam gagawin ko." He suddenly said. Leaving me confused.

I looked at him, with a confused face I asked him "Sa alin?"

He looked at me back, straight in the eye, he said "Sa Atin."

Perplexed, my mind can't comprehend what he just said. Suddenly he burst on laughter and said "Joke yun." Still laughing, "Oh cheers!"

"Pero seryoso, di ko alam gagawin ko sa buhay after ng College." He said, now being serious.

"Maghanap ng trabaho? Yun naman madalas diba?" I asked him.

"Ganon na yun? Yun na lang yon?" Unsatisfied with my answer he took a swig on his beer and said. "Parang biglang magiging boring buhay no, parang tapos na yung direction kung ano ang susunod na gagawin. Parang natapos mo na yung videogame at puro freeplay nalang. Walang goal, walang specific thing to do, at walang what to do next."

I placed my hand on his shoulder, I don't know what to say as to even I do not have any idea on what to do.

"Ganon siguro talaga, pagkatapos nating masanay na sumusunod lang sa kung anong isusunod at masanay sa 'follow the instructions ay biglang ilalabas tayo sa tunay na mundo nang walang idea. Ito na siguro yung sinasabi nila na gawin mo na kung ano gusto mo. Sa totoo lang Kalayaan to eh, Kalayaan mula sa instructions, Kalayaan mula sa 'this is the next step', at kalaayan sa 'ito ang tama-."

I took the last remains of my beer and looked at the golf course.

He stared at me, I look back, eye to eye I can see that he is worried, confused, and tired.

"Gusto ko lumayo."

I woke up late and missed breakfast. Some already left earlier while most of us stayed until check out. Thirty minutes before the check out we said our farewells, Laughter and tears as everyone bid goodbyes. As I get inside my car, I felt incomplete. Did I forget something? I checked my bag to make sure everything is complete. I was about to put my bag away when I noticed a note tucked inside the outer pocket.

"Nauna na ako umalis kaninang umaga. Gusto ko lang sabihin na ikaw yung highlight ng college life ko. Naalala mo pa yung huling kanta kagabi?"

I did. He was laughing while singing the song. Parokya ni Edgar must have predicted our situation now he said. Driving home the song sang by Chito Miranda played by his band filled my ears, drowning my remaining feelings left, and clouding what supposed to be clear.

'San man patungo' was the title of song.