Diary ng Single

Entry#14

Nag-chill lang kami sa Hall gamit ang libreng internet ng university. I felt at ease. Wala na yung feeling na parang may nakatingin sa’kin.

By two forty-five pm, we decided to part ways. Arnaisa has to go home at their province for her friend’s birthday, the one that Benny mentioned while Ailou and I are currently standing at the mall’s door. Sumusungaw ang lamig ng aircon na kumokontra sa nakakasilaw at nakakasunog na init dito sa labas.

I just finished depositing my extra baggages at the baggage counter when something caught Lou’s attention.

“Uy, di’ba sina Keith yun?” kunot-noong napalingon ako sa itinuturo ni Ailou. The girl I hate the most in the university is smiling all ears beside the class’ womanizer. At the entrance of the Hotel.

“’Anong ginagawa nila?” she asked, maintaining her gaze at them. I shrugged. How would I know what they are doing at a hotel?

“Nakita ko rin sila noon pero dun sa Grain Inn,” she added as a matter of fact.

“Grain Inn?” kunot-noong baling ko sa kanya.

“Yung inn sa isang eskinita malapit sa Southgate.”

Pinalo ni Keith and pwet ni Heidi kaya nagtawanan sila. Inilapit lalo ni Heidi ang sarili kay Keith. She uttered something while smiling. Those smiles are disgusting. Nanindig ang balahibo ko. Those smiles… iba. May lagkit, may gustong makuha.

“Tara na. Ang init dito sa labas,” yaya ko.

xxx

Ate Denchi’s eyes is glued at her monitor. The color of her hair somehow faded. Pagpasok namin, tinanggal niya ang earphones habang nagsasalita. Akala niya ordinary customer kami.

“Yes, ma’am, may bagong re—saeng!” she shouted when she recognized me.

I smiled back and jokingly did a ninety-degree bow. “Annyeong, ate Dench! Ay, si Ailou pala.”

“Classmate mo?”

“Opo. Eonnie. Anong title?” I asked, referring to the drama playing at her desktop computer.

“Korean Oddysey. Maganda ‘to. Di’ba mahilig ka sa fantasy?”

“Yeah. Pakopya kami ate, gomawo.”

Iniwan muna namin ang mga flashdrive namin kay ate habang nagba-browse ng bibilhin.

Infairness, may lightsticks na. Pero lightstick lang ng dalawang grupo. May customized cap at facemask na rin dito. But I’d rather not spend on things with fancy prices.

Okay lang naman siguro. Sarili ko lang naman ang ginagastusan ko. I have to treat myself, too. I deserve this after all the hardwork.

Isa lang talaga ang nakita kong kaya ng baon ko. Dinampot ko ang mga ballpen. Pinakatitigan ko ang pinagkaiba ng dalawang design. May mukha ng lahat ng members yung isa. Yung isa naman, logo lang at simple. “Anong mas maganda? Ito, or ito?” baling ko sa kasama ko.

My eyes widened. “Hoy, lou! Bibilhin mo yan lahat?”

Yakap-yakap lang naman niya ang tatlong albums, isang box ng photocard, isang pamaypay, at dalawang notebooks ng EXO! Ni-hindi nga ako makabili ng isang album dahil sa ginintuang presyo.

“Ha? Oo,” sagot niya sa’kin nang nakangiti. Her eyes are sparkling. Parang may glitters at lumulutang siya sa hangin. My jaw dropped as I watch her walked straight towards Ate Denchi and let her wallet out.

I’ll take the latter, the one with the logo.

Hiyang-hiya ako sa bitbit ko. Ailou & I are walking out side by side from BlueBox but the difference in our paperbag size is great.

I feel so poor.

Not far from us, is a familiar face beaming at us. Kumaway si Rose sa’min. Kinawayan siya pabalik ni Ailou. I, on the other hand, froze. Habang naglalakad siya palapit sa’min, nagtutubig ang mga kamay ko.

“Hi!” she asked with a sweet smile. Pinilit ko ring ngumiti pabalik. Parang tanga, gusto kong batukan ang sarili ko, kung hindi lang talaga naninigas ang katawan ko.

Silang dalawa ni Ailou ang nag-usap., while I kept my mouth shut, careful of not slipping anything. I gathered all my strength to pacify myself while bottling whatever I know.

“Ano nga yung assignment? Bwisit kasi ‘tong si Keith. Tinamad pumasok, nagpapagawa siya ng assignment. Palagi na lang silang naglalaro sa netshop,” aniya.

Ailou opened her mouth but I held her hands firmly. I modified the words that didn’t came out from her. “N-Nakalimutan ko. Send ko na lang maya sa chat.”

My knees woobled, like a vegetable. My mind and heart are racing but they don’t have a goal. Hindi ako makatakbo palayo. I try finding my strength and stability kahit na para na akong tinatapunan ng bomba. Iilag na lang ako.

“Thanks, Pen! Love you!” She beamed, till her eyes became like that of a crescent moon. She fetched her phone that’s ringing. It’s Keith.

“Di pa kayo tapos dyan? Ah, okay sige. Andito, sa mall. Wala kang kasama dyan? Ha? Ang layo kaya ng bahay niyo!  Okay. Wait mo’ko, ha? Hmm. Bye.” She hung up her phone.

Bigla niyang inabot sa’kin ang natitirang French fries at nakalahating shawarma. “Sa inyo na lang yan, ha. Mauuna na’ko.”

When her back is finally out of sight, I heaved a heavy sigh. My soul has left my body earlier and good thing, it is now on its way back.

Ailou faced me with curiosity at her round, brown eyes. “Bakit di mo sinabi? Grabe ang kaba ko dun!”

Really? Iyon na ang mukhang kabado niya? Walang pinagkaiba sa normal. Mabuti pa siya.

Hindi ako nakasagot. Nakatulala lang ako saglit sa hangin hanggang sa makarecover. It was only right. It’s not our life, we are not involved kaya dapat lang na wag makisawsaw. Whatever they’re doing, it’s not our problem anymore.

I turned towards her and explained. “It’s not our story to tell, Lou. Kung malalaman man ni Rose ang totoo, kailangang siya mismo ang makapansin. Let’s mind our own business.”

“Pero may karapatan naman si Rose na malaman ang totoo. Kawawa naman siya.”

I nodded. “She has the right to know the truth. But Keith is a cheater. And a cheater is a great liar. Do you know why? Because cheating is a planned lying.”

“Sabagay.”

Napapailing ako. I don’t understand boys at all. Bakit nila liligawan ang isang babae tapos lolokohin lang rin nila? Kung ayaw na nila, bakit hindi na lang pakawalan? What’s the point of being in a relationship if is all a lie? Kung hindi lang rin naman masaya, tapusin na lang.

Bakit sila dumarating sa buhay ng mga babaeng nananahimik? Ang gago lang. At ang ibang mga babae naman, nagkamali ng kilatis.

That would never happen to me. Not a boy can break and destroy me. I am for myself.

She cupped my face for a second and laughed. “Huy, 'kay ka lang? Namumula na yung tenga mo. Masyado ka namang highblood. Kain na lang muna tayo.”

“Buti pa nga.” I need a cold iced tea lalo na ngayong may magjowang naglalakad nang magkaholding hands sa harap ko.