Chasing Light (Intersex)

Chapter 3

Kabanata 3

Alas singko pa lang ng umaga, gising na ako. Entrance exam day! Excitement mixed with kaba, parang ewan. Kumuha agad ako ng towel at dumiretso sa banyo at naligo. Pagkatapos maligo ay nag-ayos ako.

Nag white t-shirt at maong pants lang ako at Nike na sapatos. Matapos magbihis ay nagpaalam na ako kay nanay at kuya Lito. Si tatay naman ay ihahatid ako sa sakayan, nagpresinta kasi ito na ihatid ako.

Sumakay ako sa tricycle ni tatay papunta sa bus stop. Ilang minutong biyahe lang, bumaba na ako.

"Salamat po, Tatay. Babalik din po ako agad pagkatapos ng exam," sabi ko.

Sumakay ako sa jeep at umupo sa harap, walang nakaupo roon. Sabi ni tatay, pagkababa ko raw ng bus, mag-tricycle na ako dahil medyo malayo ang campus. Baka malate ako kung lalakad pa ako. Wala pa naman akong alam sa lugar, at malaki raw ang campus, sabi nina Bea at Miguel.

Makalipas ang ilang oras, nakarating na ako sa malapit sa isang main road. May tricycle naman agad, kaya sumakay na ako. Sunod-sunod na biyahe, wala pang pahinga. May driver's license nga ako, pero wala naman akong kotse.

"Sa University po tayo, kuya," sabi ko agad, kahit hindi naman niya tinatanong, mindset ba diba.

"Nandito na po tayo, ma'am."

Inabot ko agad ang bayad kay kuya at nagpasalamat. Nandito na ako sa harap ng University. Napatigil ako sa paglalakad nang makita ko ang malaking gate ng university.

Namangha ako sa ganda at laki, ibang-iba sa simple naming buhay sa bukid. Maraming estudyante ang naglalakad-lakad, nakasuot ng kanilang pinakamagandang damit. Ang mga mukha nila, halo-halo ng kaba at excitement.

"Grabe ang laki!" I exclaimed, my eyes wide with wonder. Gate palang ito, paano pa kaya sa loob? Hindi ako makapaniwala na rito ako mag-aaral if ever makapasa ako. Huminga ako ng malalim, sinusubukan kong pakalmahin ang sarili dahil kinakabahan ako. Ang paghahanda lang naman na ginawa ko para sa exam ay maghapon akong nag-aral kahapon.

I continued walking towards the gate, but before I could reach it, a voice stopped me.

"Miss, miss, teka lang."

I turned to see a guard, his face a mix of curiosity and amusement. He looked at me from head to toe, his eyes lingering on my clothes and my haircut. "Ano po kailangan natin?" I asked, trying to sound confident, even though I was a little bit nervous.

"Pasensya na, Miss. Pero hindi ka ba estudyante dito?" tanong nito.

"Opo, papasok po ako para sa entrance exam," I replied, trying to sound as convincing as possible. The guard looked at me for a moment, his face still a little unsure.

"Okay, Miss. Pasok ka na. Good luck sa exam mo." I thanked him and continued walking through the gate.

I walked towards the building where the exam was being held, feeling a little lost. I tried to take in everything around me. The university was so different from anything I had ever seen before. The buildings were so tall and imposing, and the grounds were so vast. I felt a little lost. I didn't know where the nursing entrance exam was being held. I had no map of the school. Nakalimutan ko pang tanungin si kuya guard.

I was about to turn back to ask the guard when I bumped into someone. The hallway was so crowded, I didn't even see who it was. When I looked down, I realized my bag had fallen to the floor. I quickly bent down to pick it up.

I looked up and saw a girl standing there. She was a little taller than me. She had long, black hair that cascaded down, her body was so graceful, parang model. Her face was so beautiful, with delicate features and kind eyes. She was wearing a simple white t-shirt and denim shorts, and her smile was so bright, it was almost blinding. I was so stunned by her beauty that I just stared at her. The light from the sun was shining on her, and it was like she was glowing. I thought I was seeing an angel.

"Lord, nasa langit na ba ako?" I whispered. "Kung gano'n, kunin mo na agad ako."

She was so beautiful, I could barely speak. I was completely mesmerized. Natauhan ako when she gently tapped my shoulder, and I snapped out of my trance. She smiled and waved her hand in front of my face, asking,

"Are you okay?"

"Y-yes, I'm fine" mautal utal na sagot ko.

"Are you sure you're okay?" She asked again. I just nodded at her.

"You don't look like a student here. What are you doing here?" she asked, her voice soft but curious. Dahil siguro sa suot ko. Naka white t-s**t lang kasi ako na naka tucked in sa maong na pantalon ko.

"Actually, nandito ako para sa entrance exam"

"The entrance exam? Oh, what major?" tanong nito.

"For nursing po miss" sagot ko.

"Oh, that's amazing, actually I'm teaching here," she said, a smile spreading across her face.

My jaw dropped. "Teaching?" I exclaimed, surprised.

"But... you look so..."

I hesitated, not sure how to finish the sentence. She looked more like a student than a teacher, especially with her youthful energy and captivating beauty. Parang kapwa estudyante ko lang siya kung kausapin, isa pala siyang professor dito.

"So what? Too young to be in a teaching field?" she asked, a playful glint in her eyes.

"I'm a bit of an early bloomer, I guess." She chuckled softly.

"No, no, it's just... you're just... really beautiful."

She laughed, a light and melodious sound. "Well, thank you. I'm flattered."

I blushed, ang awkward naman ng reaction ko. I should have just said that she looked like a student, but now I sounded like I was hitting on her.

"By the way, what's your name, sweety?" tanong pa nito "I'm Addison, Professor here," she extended her hands.

"I'm Jaycee po, miss," pagpapakilala ko and gladly took her hands for a handshake.

We held hands for a while before I broke the silence. "ʼYung kamay mo po" nahihiyang sabi ko. Baka mamawis, nakakahiya.

"Oh my gosh, anong oras na ba? May exam nga pala ako, masyado akong nawili kausap itong si miss ma'am," I whispered.

"What time is your exam, sweety?" Addison asked. Narinig niya yata ako.

"8:30 po," I replied.

"Do you know where the nursing building is?" she asked.

"Actually, I have no idea po. This is my first time po to be here," I said, feeling a little lost.

Bigla nitong hinawakan ang kamay ko at hinila ako. Nakatingin agad ako roon.

"What are you waiting for, sweety? Come on, let's go."

Tumingin pa ito sa relong suot niya.

"It's already 8:00. Let's go, I'll take you there, before you miss your exam," Addison offered with a smile.

"It's a bit of a walk."

Nagpatangay nalang ako sa paghila nito. Akalain mo 'yon, professor pala siya rito. Hindi kasi halata dahil sa suot nito at ang bata pa nito.

Malayo layo na rin ang tinakbo namin ng biglang huminto ito. Hinihingal akong nakatingin sakanya, malayo nga, akala ko nagbibiro lang siya.

"We're here," she said.

"You can go with that building." Turo nito sa isang building kung saan marami ang tao. "That's Nursing Department."

"Thank you, miss Addison. I owe you a lot po!"

"It's my pleasure. Next time, I will tour you in campus. I'm sure we will meet again," she said confidently.

"Alis na po ako."

Tumango ito at nginitian ako. Tumakbo na agad ako sa building na tinuro nito. Lumingon pa ako sa kanya at kumaway.

Nakarating na ako sa room 101 na sinasabi nito. Pagkapasok ko, wala ang instructor. Halos lahat pala ay nandito na. Buti nalang sakto ako. Naghanap ako ng mauupuan. Nakita ko malapit sa dulo ay walang nakaupo kaya pumunta na agad ako ron at naupo. Nang makaupo ako, maya-maya may kumalabit sa akin mula sa likod. Lumingon ako rito.

"Hi," bati nito. "Ikaw rin pala ang kukuha ng entrance exam?" Hindi ba obvious sa isip isip ko. Tumango nalang ako sakanya bilang sagot.

"Ay ang sungit mo naman," sabi nito. Hindi ko nalang ito pinansin. "Nakakakaba 'no?"

"Ha? Ako ba kausap mo?"

"Oo, sino pa ba?" hinampas ako nito ng mahina. Close ba kami?

Sakto naman dumating ang instructor namin. Nagpakilala ito at sinabi ang mga instructions.

Nagpakilala lang ito at nag explain na ng mga rules and instructions na aming gagawin.

"Does anyone have any questions about the instructions?" Tanong nito.

"If everything is clear, you have three hours to complete the exam. Please begin now."

Nagsimula na agad akong magsagot. Hindi ako pamilyar sa mga ibang tanong at bakit may math dito. Kaya pala ang tagal ng oras na binigay sa amin kasi ang dami nitong sasagutan namin at ang hihirap ng mga tanong.

I paused for a moment, staring at a particularly tricky question. I had never encountered anything like it before. Then, a flash of memory came to my mind. I remembered something I had read in a book I had reviewed-it was a similar concept! I recalled what I had studied, a smile spreading across my face. I quickly answered the questions confidently.

After a few more hours, I stretched, my fingers tingling from hours of answering. I glanced at the clock-it was almost time. I had answered every question to the best of my ability, even the ones that had stumped me at first. I had done it. I had finished the exam.

A wave of relief washed over me, followed by a surge of pride. I had worked so hard for this moment, and I had faced the challenge head-on. Now, all I could do was wait.

I looked around the room. Some students were still furiously scribbling, while others were already putting down their pens, their faces a mixture of exhaustion and relief.

Tumingin ako sa orasan na nakalagay sa loob ng silid sa harap sa taas. Malapit na mag time, patapos na ang 3 hours.

"Times up, please pass your paper," the instructor announced, her voice echoing through the room.

After we passed our papers, the instructor promptly dismissed us. I packed up my stuff and headed out of the room. Nakakapagod ang araw na 'to. I stretched my back. Nangalay ako kakasagot kanina.

As I made my way through the crowded hallway, I saw a girl struggling with a stack of papers. She was trying to hold them all at once, but they were slipping and sliding, threatening to spill all over the floor.

"Oh, careful!" I said, rushing over to help.

The girl looked up, her face a mix of annoyance and frustration. She had long, dark hair pulled back in a tight ponytail, and her sharp eyes seemed to pierce right through me.

"Can't you see I'm busy?" she snapped, her voice as sharp as a knife.

"I'm just helping" I said.

"Well, you're not helping," she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "You're just in my way."

I hesitated for a moment, unsure what to do. The girl was clearly in a bad mood, and I didn't want to make things worse. But I also didn't want to just walk away.

Before I could say anything else, the whole stack of papers tumbled to the ground. Papers flew everywhere, scattering across the hallway like confetti.

"Oh no!" I exclaimed, feeling a rush of panic. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to-"

The girl cut me off, her voice laced with annoyance. "Just stay out of my way," she said, her voice a low growl.

I felt a sudden urge to just walk away. This girl was clearly not in the mood for help, and I wasn't in the mood for a confrontation.

I took a deep breath and quickly gathered the scattered papers. I gathered them all in my arms, feeling the weight of the papers and the girl's frustration. I looked at her, who was now trying to gather her things and looked ready to leave.

"Miss, saan po tayo?" I asked, hoping to get a response.

The girl didn't even bother to look at me. She just walked away, her back straight and her shoulders stiff.

I sighed, feeling a little bit frustrated. I couldn't just leave her with all those papers scattered on the floor. I quickly followed her, holding the pile of papers close to my chest. I wasn't sure what I was doing, but I couldn't just leave her like that.

She walked quickly, her steps determined. I tried to keep up, but it wasn't easy. The hallway was crowded with students rushing to their next class. I had to weave in and out of people, careful not to bump into anyone.

"Excuse me," I said, trying to squeeze past a group of students. "Excuse me, please."

The girl didn't slow down. She kept walking, her head down, her focus on getting to her destination.

The hallway opened into a large, airy room filled with bookshelves. It was the university library, a place of quiet solitude and scholarly pursuit. But the girl didn't seem to notice. She just walked straight through the entrance, her eyes scanning the room for something.

"Good morning, Ma'am Kim!" pagbati ng librarian sakanya pero hindi niya man lang pinansin.

I followed her, still holding the papers. I was about to ask her if she needed help finding a specific book, but I hesitated. She might just snap at me again.

Humanap ako ng pwedeng paglapagan ng mga dala kong papel. At ng may mahanap ako, ay nilagay ko na agad ang mga ito. Pagtingin ko sa paligid, ay hindi ko na siya mahanap. Kaya inikot ko ang bawat sulok ng library.

"Here it is," I heard someone say.

Maya-maya, pinuntahan ko ang pinanggalingan ng boses at siya 'yon. She was standing on her tiptoes, trying to reach a book on the highest shelf. Her face was contorted in frustration, and she was muttering something under her breath. I couldn't help but smile. She was so focused on getting that book, she didn't even notice me.

I quickly walked over to her, my heart pounding with a mixture of nervousness and excitement. I didn't say anything. I just reached up and grabbed the book, carefully pulling it off the shelf.

I turned to face her, holding the book out towards her. She looked up, startled, and her eyes widened in surprise.

Instead of saying thank you, she just looked at me with a confused expression.

"Where are the papers?" she asked, her voice sharp.

I blinked, taken aback by her question.

"Uh, I put them on a table over there," I said, pointing towards the spot where I left them.

"You just left them there?" she asked, her voice laced with annoyance.

"What if someone took them?"

I shrugged, feeling a little bit defensive. "I didn't think anyone would steal them," I said.

"They're just papers."

She sighed, her expression a mix of frustration and exasperation.

"You know, you're not very bright, are you?" she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

I felt my cheeks flush with embarrassment. I didn't know what to say. I had just tried to help her, and she was being so rude.

She turned away, clearly annoyed.

"Just get the papers and follow me," she said, her voice a bit colder than before.

I nodded, feeling a bit deflated. I quickly grabbed the papers and followed her, feeling a mixture of frustration and curiosity. I didn't understand why she was being so mean, but I couldn't help but feel drawn to her.

While walking, I couldn't help but look around. The library was packed with students, a sea of faces and a symphony of whispers and rustlings. Then, my gaze returned to her, and it landed on her backside. It was a sight that took my breath away. How could someone so grumpy have such a beautiful body? I couldn't help but wonder if she was aware of how stunning she looked.

Lost in my thoughts, I bumped into her. My eyes widened in shock as I realized that I had just crashed into her.

"Sorry!" I exclaimed, feeling my cheeks flush with heat.

She turned around, her expression a mixture of annoyance and amusement.

"Watch where you're going kid," she said.

"I'm so sorry, I wasn't paying attention."

grabe siya maka kid, mukha ba akong kid? kiddy meal pwede pa.

She just rolled her eyes and turned back, walking towards the library exit.

"Just follow me" I just nood and follow her.

We walked out of the library together, the afternoon sun shining brightly outside. The air was filled with the sounds of laughter and chatter, a stark contrast to the quiet solitude of the library.

I just remember na sabi konga pala kay tatay na after ng exam ay uuwi na rin agad ako pero ito.