A Kiss to Life

Chapter 16: Ambisyosa

“Iba talaga pag in love, no? Nakaka-blooming. Tulad nito, iba ang glow ng Mari natin ngayon,” Ycca said the moment I stepped in at the doctor’s quarter.

“Kung kasing gwapo ba naman ang maging boyfriend mo, hindi ka mag go-glow?” Aila said, too.

“Ay, kung ako ‘yun, hindi lang ako mag bo-bloom, baka mag kasanga-sanga na rin ako,” Ycca said again and I cannot help it but laugh.

Natatawa na lang talaga ako tuwing mag-aasar sila sa akin ng ganitong tungkol kay Noah.

“So, kumusta naman ang buhay may boyfriend?” Ycca asked when I sat beside her.

I shrugged and said, “Masaya.”

“Obvious namang masaya ka. Ganda-ganda mo lalo simula nung naging kayo, e.”

“I saw Noah earlier, he’s getting finer as well. Ganda ng epekto niyo sa isa’t-sa,” Aila said.

Surprised, Ycca said, “He’s driving for you again?”

I nodded. “I begged my dad to let him drive for me again, because I’m so exhausted after every ship and I cannot drive for myself. Naawa naman siya kaya pumayag,” I answered.

“You beg, really? Baka sinabi mo lang ‘yun sa daddy mo para makasama mo lagi si Noah, ah?” Ycca teased.

“Hindi, no. Sobrang exhausting lang talaga. Kayo ba, nakakapag drive pa kayo pag sobrang pagod?” I asked them.

“I asked to be picked up,” Ycca said,

“Nag papa-drive ako sa kuya ko,” Aila’s answer.

“See? Tapos, hindi pa ako sanay mag drive. Imagine how hard it was for me,” I said and they agreed.

Sinabihan pa ako ng ‘kawawa’ at ‘masyado raw akong sheltered’ which I take no offense kasi aminado naman akong totoo. Kahit ngayon na 26 na ako, hindi parin ako makagawa ng ibang bagay ng sa sarili ko lang. Hindi dahil hindi ako pinapayagan, sadyang wala lang akong lakas ng loob gawin. Tapos ngayon na boyfriend ko na si Noah, mas lalong para hindi na ako makagawa ng mga bagay na hindi ko siya kasama. I knew I was relying on him too much.

And thankfully, dad let me have him as my driver again. Hindi ko na ulit kailangang mag drive para sa sarili ko, nakakasama ko pa siya.

“Alright, students!” Dr. Martinez called us. “This is your last two weeks in Saint Lawrence, right?”

“Yes, Doc!” We answered.

He nodded. “Because of that, we will let you come and observe close to an operation. Here’s the list of the upcoming operation with the name of the officiating doctors, just choose one–individually–whose operation you want to observe. Understand?”

“Yes, Doc!”

“Good. You have until afternoon to choose. You must return this list to me before you go home later,” he added.

“Noted, Doc!” He all answered.

Dr. Martinez left after that.

“Dr. de La Costa ako,” Ycca said immediately when it’s just the five of us again.

“Ako rin, Dr. de La Costa rin ako,” Aila added.

“Kami rin,” Marcus and Anthony said in chorus.

Ycca turned to me, “Ikaw, Mari?”

I check the list and can see that Dr. de La Costa is going to do five major operations within the next two weeks. There was still one slot for me but I saw dad’s name. He will have an open skull operation this Friday and mom will be assisting him.

“Dito ako,” I said, pointing at dad’s name.

“Kay Director?” Marcus asked. Hindi ko pa limot ang mga sinabi nila ni Anthony tungkol kay Noah pero gusto kong maging professional kaya kinakausap ko parin sila kahit papaano, kahit masama pa rin ang loob ko sa kanilang dalawa.

“Oo. Gusto kong makita kung paano siya mag opera,” sagot ko.

“Lakas,” Marcus commented and I arched my brow.

“May mali ba run?” I asked, getting irritated at him again.

“Wala naman, pero parang ang ambisyosa mo lang ng kunti dyan sa pagpili kay Director,” he said as if his words aren’t offending.

“Marcus!” Aila shouted at him.

“Ambisyosa?” I echoed his words.

“Hindi ba? Clinical pa lang pero nag papabida ka na agad,” he said and that really infuriate me.

“What the hell is wrong with you, Anthony!” Ycca said, pushing Marcus’ chest.

“What the hell is wrong with you! Bakit ba palagi ka na lang nakikisali, huh? Sinasahuran ka ba ni Mari para lagi mo na lang siyang itago sa likuran mo?”

Ycca scoffed. “Ang sabihin mo, insecure ka lang. You can’t beat Mari when it comes to academics, that you tried to woo her to distract her from studying, but you failed to do that as well. So now, you are being the biggest jerk because she’s being smarter than she has always been, for choosing to attend the director’s operation.”

“Anong sinabi mo?” galit na s**o ni Marcus, umamba pa itong susugurin si Ycca pero agad siyang pinigilan ni Anthony. Aila covered Ycca as well.

“Bakit? Totoo naman, ah? You were so nice to her before, but after you found out that she already has a boyfriend, you started acting like an asshole towards.”

“What the f**k, b***h?” Marcus blurted. Galit na galit na ito at pakiramdam ko ay hindi siya kakayanin ni Anthony kung sakaling mag wawala siya.

“Ycca…” I called her, pulling her so she would stop but she didn’t. “Don’t waste your time please…”

“Oh, my bad. I was wrong. Let me correct it,” Ycca spat. “You weren’t acting like an asshole, because you really are an asshole,” she continued, putting emphasis on her last words.

“Tangina–” Marcus was cut off from his words when Dr. de La Costa entered the quarters.

“What’s happening here?”

“Wala po, doc,” Anthony said but Dr. de La Costa arched his brows while looking at Marcus who’s breathing heavily and so hard from anger.

“You sure know that you’re in a hospital right now and it’s working hours.

“We’re sorry, doc.” It was Aila.

“If you have personal problems with each other, do it out of the hospital. We do not allow unprofessionalism here,” Dr. de La Costa said before he leaves.

“Tangina kasi, e!” Marcus blurted when Dr. de La Costa was already far enough to hear any noise from us. He left as well after gathering his things, Anthony followed him.

“That asshole!” Ycca said when the two were already out of our sight.

“Kumalma ka na.” Aila calmed her but she kept on talking about how much she hates the two.

I, on the other hand, don't know what I should say. I could still hear Marcus’ words from earlier. It was etched on my mind and I don’t if I ever forget about it.

“Okay ka lang, Mari?” Aila asked me after a few minutes of calming Ycca,

I blinked and nodded. “Y-yes. I’m okay.”

Aila held my hand and said, “Huwag mong damdamin mga sinabi ni Marcus, huh? Hindi totoong ambisyosa ka dahil lang sa gusto mong mapanood si Director mag opera. It was actually a smart decision. At kung ako rin ‘yun, I would choose Director’s operation as well. Kaso ‘di ko agad nakita ‘yung schedule niya at na-excite rin akong makitang mag opera si Dr. de La Costa ng malapitan. Siguro ganun di si Marcus, kaso hindi niya na mababawi ‘yung una niyang desisyon dahil nauna ka.”

Ycca snorted. “Ay, naku, Huwag mo nang ipagtanggol ang mayabang na ‘yun. Insecure lang talaga siya na mas critical mag isip at mag desisyon si Mari sa kanya. Galit siya kasi simula pa lang nung first year, sinusubukan na niyang talunin si Mari pero ‘di niya magawa. Lagi lang siyang second place ni Mari.”

“Tama na…” I spoke. “Hayaan na lang natin.”

Ycca rolled her eyes. “Hindi pwedeng ganun na lang palagi. Hindi pwedeng lagi mo na lang siyang pag pagpasensyahan, palalagpasin ‘yung mga ginagawa nila sayo! You have to fight for yourself! Karapatan mo ‘yun!”

I sighed and smiled. “You don’t have to worry about me, guys. I don’t really mind things like that, it's just a waste of time.”

“Mari…” Ycca called me, frustration was all over her face.

I smiled more, trying to convince them through it. “Really, I’m fine. And I know myself better than anyone else. I know what I can and I can’t do, and if their opinion of me is like that–like what Marcus thinks of me–then, it is their problem. Let it be. I just don’t have the energy to argue with them. I rather sleep or study than do that,” I explained.

Ycca sighed exasperatedly, “Malapit na kitang pagawaan ng rebulto, tapos papangalanan ko ng Patron Saint Amaris, patron ng mga mapagpasensya,” she said and both Aila and I laughed because of it.

“Tara na nga lang, libre ko na lang kayo ng lunch,” I said and clung my arms to their arms.

“Mabuti pa nga,” Aila said and let me pull her along.

Our after continued after lunch. Hindi namin pinapansin sina Marcus at Anthony kahit noong kaharap na namin si Dr. Martinez at Dr. de la Costa.

“So, most of you signed up for Dr. de La Costa’s operation aside from Dr. Claveria,” Dr. Martinez started.

“Yes, Doc,” I responded.

“I thought you wanted to specialize in cardiology, why would you suddenly want to miss a chance to see how it is up close?”

‘I want to see how my father operates up close, Doc.’ I wanted to say so he won’t ask more questions, but of course, I cannot do that.

“I’m curious how skilled Director Aydan is, Doc,” I answered instead.

Dr. Martinez nodded but Dr. de La Costa arched his brow and said, “If you want to specialize in cardiology, being curious in neurology won’t help you. I suggest that you should start rethinking your choices as early as now.”

I see how Marcus smirked from the side of my eyes. He even mouthed ‘ambisyosa kasi’. I cannot believe he’s being like this right now.

“Well, seeing the Director's skills upclose is a rare chance, I cannot blame Dr. Claveria if she chooses to grab that chance,” Dr. Martinez said, shrugging. “And I am glad this is how curious she is. It only indicates that she is eager to learn. I admire dr. Claveria for that.”

“Thank you, Doc,” I said and I heard Marcus’ scoffing.

What’s wrong with this guy?

“Still, you should learn to sort your interests accordingly. I hate wasting time on someone unsure of her own future,” Dr. de La Costa said and Marcus smirked again because of that. He even nudged Anthony.

Dr. Martinez only shrugged and told us that we are dismissed and we can now go back doing our tasks. And throughout the afternoon, Marcus kept on smirking at me every time we saw each other on the hallways.

“Ang gago talaga ng mayabang na ‘yan,” Ycca commented when we found Marcus and Anthony in the quarters, gathering their things and ready to go home.

“Hayaan mo na lang. Less than two weeks na lang naman at tapos na tayo rito.”

“Buti na lang talaga, at sana, mag reshuffle para ‘di na natin kasama ‘yan sa susunod na hospitta na mapupuntahan natin,” ani niya.

“Sana nga,” I agreed.

We just waited until Aila came and gathered her things before we left. Noah’s already waiting for me at his usual spot when he saw him. He was outside my car, leaning against while doing something on his phone. Nagpaalam na ako sa dalawa at nag diretso na kay Noah.

“Noah,” I called and slammed myself on his chest.

He chuckled and patted my head. “Kumusta?”

I smiled and hugged him. “Okay lang. Ikaw, kumusta?”

He shrugged. “Ayos lang din.”

“Uwi na tayo?” aya ko agad dahil ayaw ko nang magtagal pa sa ospital.

“Pagod ka?” he asked as he opened the car’s door for me.

“Medyo. I did rounds to check Dr. Martinez patients this morning, then another round for Dr. de La Costa’s patients this afternoon.”

“Gaano karami ang pasyente nila?”

“30 each.”

“Ang dami naman,” he said and chuckled.

“Dad handles more than those when he’s still a fellow.”

“Talaga?”

“Yep. Dad is so good at being a doctor. It’s his dream, so he’s really giving his everything to it.” I said, and telling him that reminded me again of what happened earlier.

“Baby?”

“Yes, baby?” He asked, glancing at me.

“Am I intimidating?”

Noah arched his brow. “Nung di pa kita ka-close, medyo. Ang talino mo kasi, tapos sabi pa nila dati, consistent honor student ka. Akala ko yabang lang ng mga kasambahay ‘yun, pero totoo pala. Nalula ako nung nakita ko ‘yung mga medals at awards mo sa bahay n’yo,” he said, he was smiling as he said that.

Noah seemed proud but I cannot help but ask him. “Did that, somehow, annoyed you? Like, did one find me annoying because I seemed intimidating?”

Noah shook his head. “Bakit naman ako maiinis? E, dahil dun nga kaya kita naging crush. Nakaka-roud ka kaya.”

“But didn’t you find me too much because of that?”

“Too much? Anong ibig mong sabihin?”

I sighed and rested my head on the headrest of my car seat. “Wala naman.”

“May nangyari ba?” He asked, getting alarmed.

I shook my head. “Naisip ko lang ‘yun kaya natanong ko.”

“Amaris…” He called and I saw how fast his eyes tried to look at the roadside, he’s probably looking where he can park.

“Wala nga lang ‘yun, Noah. Natanong ko lang,” I tried to deny again but my tears did not let me. It started falling from my eyes.

I thought I changed. I thought I can now handle situations like this. Akala ko lang pala…

“Baby, what’s wrong?” He asked again.

I shook my head. “Wala lang nga ‘yun.” I tried wiping my tears away but every time I wiped one, another one would come. I just cover my face with my palm.

“Amaris…” Noah called again, discarding my hands from my face. “What’s wrong?” He asked again, helping me wipe my tears. “Tell me what’s wrong, please, baby?”

I reached for his shoulders and pulled him closer, so I could hug him. I cried even more in his arms and he just let me. Noah let me cry until it no longer felt heavy in my chest.

“Are you ready to tell me what happened?” Noah started when I pulled away from him. He wiped my tears seeing how wet my cheeks were.

“They hate me,” I told him.

“Who?”

“My classmates. One of them called me ambisyosa, because I chose to be in dad’s operation for my final observation,” I continued. “I just want to see dad operate, and mom would be there, too. I just want to see them work together.”

“Why would she say that?” he asked.

I shook my head. “He’s a he.”

“A he?” he asked and I confirmed. I saw how his fist balled after confirming it. I held it and squeezed. “Why would he say that?”

“I am not sure, but Ycca said it was because he’s insecure of me. Ycca stood up for me. She fights them for me. She told him he’s insecure of me because he cannot beat me on academics, and when he found out I have a boyfriend, he started acting mean towards me because he tried to woo me but I rejected him,” I continued.

“Woo you?” He asked as if that was the only thing I said.

“Ycca said he tried to do that to distract me from studying,” I continued.

“He thought of doing that to you because he’s insecure of how smart you are?” He asked and I nodded. Noah smirked and shook his head. “Pasalamat siya at wala ako run nung nangyari ‘yan, kundi sasabog ang bibig niya sakin.”

“Noah…” I called him out, starting to cry again.

Noah took a sigh as he continued wiping my tears. “Listen baby, it is not your fault that he can't be as smart as you are. And you are not too much just because you achieve more than they could. You work and study so hard to be where you are now, that it will never be your fault that he remains behind you. It was his fault and his fault alone,” he paused and kissed my forehead. “Never let anyone ruin everything you work so hard to get. Do not let them stop you from shining, because baby, you deserve everything. And I will always be proud of you and your achievements,” he said and I cannot really stop myself from crying so hard.