Hello Lust, Goodbye

Chapter 6

Madalas na kaming mag-away ni Rimuel noon pa. Para nga raw kaming sina Tom and Jerry, sabi nina mom at tita Rica, pero kahit ganoon, palagi rin naman kaming nagbabati agad. Lalo na si Rimuel, pipikonin niya lang ako pero pipilitin niya rin makipagbati sa akin pagkatapos niyang mang-ines. Ayaw niya raw kasi na hindi kami bati.

"Jem galit ka ba sa 'kin?" Rimuel followed me towards the pool area. I sat at the chair and he did the same thing; he sat parallel to my sit.

It was the day after I met his girlfriend named Lustre, but the feeling of betrayal was still on my heart, so I wasn't giving Rimuel much of my attention.

I sighed. "Hindi nga Rimuel." As much as my heart wanted to be angry, my mind simply couldn't find the reasons why.

Nagtatampo lang siguro talaga 'ko dahil sa iba ko pa nalamang may girlfriend na pala siya.

"Eh bakit ka ganyan? Kahapon mo pa 'ko hindi kinakausap."

I felt kinda guilty when his eyes glittered in sadness.

"Anong hindi kinakausap? Eh anong tawag mo sa ginagawa natin ngayon?" I kept on defending myself.

He took a deep breath. "Oo nga, kinakausap mo nga ako, pero ang sungit-sungit mo naman."

"Hindi nga ako masungit. Wala lang talaga 'ko sa mood Rimuel. Pasensya na." Hindi ko na natiis at kahit pa naiinis ako ay nakokonsensya naman akong makita ang paawa niyang mga abong mata.

"Bakit ka ba wala sa mood? Masama pa rin ba ang pakiramdam mo? Dumugo ba ulit--"

"Shh... Let's not talk about that." I looked around with my eyes feeling the nervousness. My mom shouldn't know it. She was only going to worry even more.

His face flashed a confusion. "Bakit naman? Kinakamusta lang naman kita Jem."

"Basta wag. Okay lang ako. I'm fine. There's no need to worry about."

I was really sick of seeing mom worrying about me, so I wouldn't want Rimuel to worry about me as well.

Huminga siyang malalim at sinandal ang likod niya sa upuan. "Kung okay ka lang, bakit nga wala ka sa mood? Bakit parang ayaw mong kausapin ang isang gwapong tulad ko?"

I rolled my eyes. "Iyan ka nanaman. Magpapahangin ka nanaman."

Tumawa siya at hindi ko na rin napigilan pa ang pagngiti. Alam na alam niya talaga kung paano ako mapapatawa kapag wala 'ko sa mood. Kaya hindi rin nagtatagal ang tampuhan namin, masyado siyang magaling magpangiti.

"Finally, ngumiti ka na ulit." His voice sounded like he just won on a game.

"Ngumingiti naman ako ah." My brows crossed.

He shook his head, still with a smile on his lips. "Except yesterday and a while ago."

I sighed. "Malamang, alangan namang ngumiti ako nang walang dahilan."

He chuckled. "Oh edi nasa mood ka na ulit niyan?"

I was close to giving up and saying what I really wanted to ask. I just wanted him to open up with me and mention his relationship with Lustre, but seems like he didn't even have a plan to say it.

"Ewan ko sa 'yo Rimuel." I sighed. "Sino ba kasi 'yong Lustre na 'yon ha?" I crossed my arms as I failed to stop myself from asking.

Hindi ko na natiis na hintayin pang kusa siyang magkwento sa 'kin.

His laughter faded. His eyes turned awkward as it looked away from me. "Kaya ka ba nagkakaganyan dahil sa kanya?"

"Sino nga kasi siya?" Frown was all over my face. I badly wanted him to confirm it to me.

He sighed. "Look Jem, I'm sorry if I didn't tell you."

My heart slowly shattered into pieces. I was kind of wishing that Lustre was just making fun of me and they weren't even in a relationship, but Rimuel's answer seemed like they were.

I sighed and did my best to calm myself and act normal. "Ibig sabihin totoo ngang girlfriend mo 'yon?" It was so hard to sink in.

He licked his lips with his uncertain face, he nodded. "Pero noong isang araw lang naman naging kami, Jem."

"Bakit hindi mo man lang sinabi sa 'kin? Ang daya mo!" Disappoinment was all over my voice.

"Sasabihin ko naman talaga sa 'yo, naunahan niya lang ako. Sorry Jem."

"Kahit na. Hindi mo man lang nabanggit na may nililigawan ka pala. Susumbong kita kay tita Rica."

Tumayo na ako at nagsimulang maglakad pabalik sa loob. Napahinto ako nang humarang siya sa daan ko.

"Come on Jem, wag mo naman akong isumbong kay mama."

I rolled my eyes. "Hindi sana kita isusumbong kung nagkwento ka lang sa 'kin. Ang daya mo talaga."

Pilit pa rin siyang humarang sa daanan ko.

"Sorry na nga Jem. Wag mo 'kong isumbong please. How can I make it up to you?"

My eyes looked at him like I was judging every inch of his soul. "Tsaka diba ang usapan natin, dapat eighteen pa lang pwedeng magjowa? Seventeen pa lang tayo Rimuel. You are really so unfair."

I stunned when his hands touched my shoulder like he was calming my darkness.

"I know, I'm sorry Jem. It's just that..."

My brows furrowed as I wait for the next words. "It's just that what?"

Kumamot siya sa buhok niya at nag-aalangang ngumiti. "You'll understand me once you start admiring someone."

My lips parted as my eyes blink three times, sinking every words he just said. So he was really admiring Lustre? Well it shouldn't be shocking. Lustre was a goddess, I was just a dwarf.

Pilit na lang akong ngumiti. "As if it will happen."

I didn't know what to say. I froze like I was standing in front of a beautiful human version of Elsa. 

"Don't tell me nakalimutan mo na ako?" Even Lustre's chuckle was a teased.

I shook my head with my eyes still stunned on hers. "Lustre right?" I did my best to respond.

Lalo namang lumawak ang mapang-asar niyang ngiti. "Glad you still remember me. Well, who wouldn't right?" Pati ang tawa niya ay sarkastiko. "For sure pati si Rimuel, naaalala pa ako, oh speaking of, ano na nga pa lang balita sa kanya-- wait are you guys still friends?"

Kahit peke ay pinilit ko na lang din ngumiti. "Yes, we're still friends."

"Oh I see, linta ka pa rin pala na nakadikit nang nakadikit sa kanya." She raised her right brow and crossed her arms. "How pathetic."

I clenched my fist, calming the twitching feeling of my heart. I took a deep breath as I lost my words.

"Jem!" Rimuel called my name.

Another sigh bursted on my mouth when Rimuel's voice just saved me from a harshly conversation.

I stunned when he wrapped his arm around my shoulders. "There you are my lady, where have you been?"

Napalunok ako nang ilipat na ni Rimuel ang tingin niya sa babaeng nakatayo sa harapan ko.

A wide smile was flashing on Lustre's face. She was looking like she just won on a game and Rimuel was the prize.

"It's been a while Rimuel." Her voice was seductive.

Rimuel's lips seemed like it was hesitating to smile, but then it smiled. "Lustre, wow yeah right. It's been a while." His voice was shockingly amaze.

Bumalik ang alaala ng nakaraan habang pinagmamasdan ko silang magkausap. Iyong mga panahong bigla ko na lang nalamang may girlfriend na siya; iyong takot na takot ang puso ko na mawalan siya ng atensyon sa akin dahil lang may Lustre na siya.

"Yeah, and you look way hotter." Lustre licked her lips. "Miss me?" She lifted her chin up, showing all the confidence she had.

I clenched my fist at my back, preparing myself from Rimuel's answer.

Rimuel cleared her throat. "Who invited you Lustre?"

Parang may isang batong natanggal sa dibdib ko nang hindi niya sinagot ang tanong ni Lustre.

Lustre was still smiling. "Wendy, why? Don't you want my presence?"

"You and Wendy know each other?" Rimuel's voice was surprised.

"Yep, we're cousins, so now it's time to answer my question." She walked closer to Rimuel until she was almost one inch away from him. "Miss me?"

I took a deep breath and got the courage to turned my back at them and walked away. It was just too suffocating. My heart felt like it was being burned.

"Jem!"

As I was walking, the people around started to get blurry. I held my head as it felt like spinning.

"Wait Jem!" Even the noice was blurry and echoing. Everything kept on flashing back, even this moment; even this dizziness and weak feeling of mine kept coming back to get me.

Bumagsak na ang katawan ko pero hindi sa matigas na sahig. Bumagsak ang katawan ko sa mga braso ni Rimuel. Kahit malabo alam na alam kong sa kanya ang mukhang nakatingin sa akin.

"D-dont... b-bring me home..." Even my voice was shaking; everything was blurry, and it was slowly taking my vision away.