Hello Lust, Goodbye

Chapter 5

Madalas akong ma-bully noon. Siguro dahil na rin maliit at payat lang ako. Minsan natatanong ko na kung bakit parang ang sama-sama sa 'kin ng mundo, pero sa tuwing napupunta ako sa dilim, bigla na lang may dumarating na liwanag.

"Excuse me." I was walking on the hallway of our school nang bigla na lang may humarang sa daanan ko. "Ikaw 'yong girl na madalas kasama ni Rimuel right?" She crossed her arms.

She was with someone taller than her who also glared at me like they were going to kill me.

I was thinking of denying it, but why lie if I could tell the truth?

I nodded. "Yes why?"

I was kind of nervous that they were one of the bitches who happen to have crush on Rimuel. Minsan bigla na lang may kakausap sa 'kin; kung hindi ako pa-plastikin, aawayin ako at dahil lang 'yon sa pagiging malapit ko kay Rimuel. Bitches were so childish.

The girl with a pink cardigan looked at me from head to toe like I was a dirt. "My feet was totally prettier than you."

Kahit sanay na akong makatanggap ng masasakit na salita, parang may kumurot pa rin sa puso ko.

I gave her a slight smile. "Then good for you." Magpapatuloy na sana ako sa paglakad nang bigla nanaman siyang humarang sa akin.

"Ano mo ba si Rimuel?"

I didn't know why they were so obsessed on knowing if me and Rimuel were in a relationship; I mean we were just seventeen year old.

I shook my head. "We're just friends." Ayoko ng gulo kay kalmado ko na lang sinasagot ang mga tanong niya.

The b***h with a red shirt flashed a fake smile. "Good for him."

I sighed as I felt my chest squeezing my heart. I felt really insulted by them, but I chose to ignore.

Tumango na lang ako at akmang hahakbang nang hinarangan nanaman ako ng naka-pink na babae.

I was calming my heart, because it was really bad for me to stress out.

"Mas maganda siguro kung lalayo ka na lang kay Rimuel."

My brows furrowed and my lips parted in disbelief. Who the hell was she to tell me that.

"Why would I?" I managed to gain confidence even if it was obvious that I was nothing compare to them.

A girl on a pink shirt lifted her face and went closer to me. "Because..." She examined my body from head to toe with her insulting eyes. "I am his girlfriend."

My heart felt like it was crashed by a ten wheeler truck. She is his girlfriend? Why the hell didn't I know that he was courting someone? I bit my lower lip as I breath heavily with my chest pinching every inch of my heart.

"Lustre!" Lalong nadurog ang puso ko nang marinig ang malalim na boses ni Rimuel.

"Oh there you are baby." Agad na pumulupot ang babaeng naka-pink kay Rimuel nang makalapit ito sa amin.

I looked down. I didn't want to see them. I felt betrayed. I am his best friend, but why didn't he mention that he likes someone.

"Jem." He called my name, but I didn't glance. 

I was about to step back, when held my shoulders. "Jem your nose is bleeding."

Hinawakan ko ang ibaba ng ilong ko at halos lumuwa ang mata ko nang makita ang dugo sa daliri ko.

Napatingin na ako kay Rimuel habang balot ng kaba ang mukha ko; balot naman ng pag-aalala ang titig niya sa 'kin.

"Let's go to the clinic."

Hindi na ako nakapagsalita nang hatakin niya ako. I also felt kinda dizzy. The place felt like rotating around me. Humawak na lang ako sa ulo ko at kinapit ang isang kamay ko sa baiwang niya.

"Baby hayaan mo na siyang pumunta mag-isa sa clinic!" Even the voice of the b***h was blurry and echoing. Huminga ako nang malalim at pilit nilabanan ang hilo ko. I shouldn't lose my sense right now; I shouldn't.

"Let's talk later Lustre." I even heard Rimuel's blurry voice, but I managed to focus on making my senses to stay.

"How was your feeling?" His face was still worried even after we went out of the clinic

"I'm okay." Hindi ako gaanong kumikibo. I was just silently sitting at our car while he was just beside me.

I still couldn't believe what I discovered. He was already in a relationship and I discovered it threw his girlfriend not through him, that was unacceptable.

"Are you sure? Hindi ka naman mukhang okay. May masama ka bang nararamdaman. Baka nilalagnat ka nanaman." Iniwas ko ang mukha ko nang idampi niya sa noo ko ang kamay niya.

"Okay nga lang ako Rimuel. Walang masakit sa 'kin." Except for my heart that felt betrayed.

"Seryoso ka ba? Baka naman ayaw mo lang sabihin--"

"Seryoso ako Rimuel." I sighed. "Okay lang talaga 'ko."

Buti na lang driver namin ang nagsundo sa 'kin ngayon. Mom still didn't know what happened to me, and I actually didn't want her to know.

"Basta wag mong sasabihin kay mom 'yong nangyari sa 'kin ha."

His face was disagreeing. "Bakit naman? She should know it Jem."

"Basta wag na please. Ayoko lang mag-alala siya. In fact, it's just a simple nosebleed."

He sighed. "Fine, pero ngayon lang ha. Kapag naulit nanaman 'yong pangyayaring 'yon, I will tell it to your mom okay?" 

Pilit akong ngumiti. "Okay." Binalik ko rin agad ang tingin sa bintana.

I just couldn't stare at his eyes longer than I usually do. I wanted to ask him about Lustre, but I didn't know how to start that kind of topic.

Nakakainis lang talaga kasi bakit hindi niya sinabi sa akin? Sabi niya no secrets dapat kasi mag-best friend kami pero siya naman 'tong hindi nagsabi sa akin; ang daya niya.

"Hey seriously, you don't look okay."

I continued watching the road and the cars that we were passing by. "Okay nga lang ako Rimuel."

He took a deep breath and finally he also stayed quiet. I was wondering what was he thinking. Was he thinking about that b***h Lustre? I didn't even like her for him, I mean I would, if only she was nicer.

"Is it about Lustre? May sinabi ba siya sa 'yong hindi maganda?"

I looked at him after he broke the silence. "Who is she?" My brows were crossed.

Gusto kong sa kanya mismo manggaling na talagang girlfriend niya si Lustre. I wanted his confirmation without me asking for it.

He sighed as if it was so hard for him to tell.

"Ma'am, sir nandito na po tayo."

Pareho kaming napatingin sa driver. I looked at the window and I just realized that we were already in our garage.

I sighed before glancing at him. I waited for a moment, hoping that he was going to say something but he didn't so I sighed and made my way out of the car.

Bahala siya, kung ayaw niyang sabihin sa akin, edi wag. Hindi ko naman siya pipigilan mag-girlfriend dahil wala naman akong karapatang pigilan siya. Ang gusto ko lang sabihin niya sa 'kin, hindi iyong sa iba ko pa malalaman.

"Tara Jem, pinaalam na kita kay tita."

Rimuel showed up on my room with his gray polo shirt and a black pants. Going back to when we were young, his fashion have improved a lot, now that we were adults. 

Lalo tuloy siyang nakakaagaw pansin dahil sa simple pero kaakit-akit niyang pananamit.

"Pumayag siya? Really?"

Kanina niya pa 'ko kinukulit na sumama sa kanya. Gusto niya 'kong isama sa pa-party ng kaibigan niyang si Paulo dahil ikakasal na raw ito.

I wasn't really expecting myself to be present at Paulo's party because my mom never allowed me to attend such parties of other people, so I was shock to hear from Rimuel that mom allowed me.

"Oo nga. Sabi ko ihahatid din agad kita bago maggabi at sinabi ko rin na simpleng party lang iyon at kaunti lang tayo." He winked at me, smiling in success.

"Nakakahiya, hindi naman ako invited." Bukod sa hindi ako pinapayagan ni mom noon. Nahihiya rin talaga akong pumunta sa isang party. Pakiramdam ko pagtatawanan lang ako ng mga tao sa ganoon at ipaparamdam nilang hindi ako nababagay sa mga ganoong pangyayari.

"Don't be shy Jem. Kilala mo naman 'yong mga 'yon. They were good friends. Tsaka sinabi ko na sa kanila na isasama kita."

"Alam nilang nandito na ulit ako?" I was kind of shock, but I shouldn't be. Oo nga pala, napakadaldal nitong si Rimuel. Buti nga kahit papaano ay may sikreto pa rin akong naitatago niya.

He smiled in proudness. "And they were also happy to hear the good news."

An appreciation smile appeared on my lips. "Really?" Hindi ko naman sila ganoon ka-close pero sa kaunting panahon na nakasama ko sila, masasabi kong magaan naman silang kasama.

Adam even apologized to me for the incident on the first time I encountered them drunk. I would never forget that moment, but at least he admitted his mistakes.

He nodded, still proudness was flashing on his face. "Oo nga. Kaya mag-ayos ka na riyan at magbihis. We're going at Paulo and Wendy's party."

It was lunch when we arrived at Paulo's house. I already got here once and I could say that their house had a little renovation.

Tama ang sinabi ni Rimuel. Kaunti lang ang mga tao pero kada oras may dumadagdag naman. Unti-unti ay dumadami na ang bisita at unti-unti na rin akong hindi nagiging komportable. Mabuti na lang at natapos na kaming kumain.

I was left here at the sala, sitting on the sofa while others are hanging out at the pool area.

Mayroon din namang ibang tao rito. Rimuel and his friends were also here at the sala, but they were a little bit far away from me.

"Hi, ikaw ba si Jemina?"

Nagtaas ako ng tingin nang may lumapit sa aking babae. Ang suot niyang kulay pulang dress ay nagpaangat sa kagandahan niya at sa katawan niya.

My insecurities went high as I looked at her. I felt kinda nervous because she looks like the type of girl who bullies every person she thinks was smaller than her. My childhood bullies just suddenly came out on my mind.

I managed to smile. "Yes."

Lumawak naman ang ngiti niya. Hindi katulad ng ibang babae, ramdam ko ang pagkatotoo ng maamo niyang ngiti.

"It's nice to finally meet you. I'm Karmina by the way."

I accepted her hand as confusion started to get on my mind. "Nice to meet you too, but how did you know me?"

She sat beside me, still wearing her genuine smile. "Kay Rimuel, you're his childhood friend right?"

I smiled with the thought that Rimuel was sharing our story of being a childhood best friend.

"Yes. Kilala mo pala siya?" I rarely talked to someone other than mom and Rimuel, but Karmina really looks friendly.

She nodded. "I just met her on the island and she was a good guy. Medyo makulit nga lang minsan, but I am amazed on his story like how she never lose hope that you're gonna come back and you did." Her eyes were glittering in amusement.

Napaiwas ako ng tingin at bahagyang nakaramdam ng hiya. Kahit ang mga kaibigan niya alam talaga na hinintay niya ako. Talaga pa lang hindi siya nawalan ng pag-asa na babalik ako. Halos matunaw ang puso ko sa sobrang pagbuhos ng halaga sa 'kin ni Rimuel at sana nga makabawi pa ako; sana magtagal pa 'ko sa mundong ito.

"Babe I've been looking for you."

Nag-angat ang ulo ko nang marinig ang pamilyar na boses. Hindi ako nagkakamali, si Alexis ang nasa harapan ko ngayon. Kagaya ni Rimuel, marami rin ang pagbabago sa ayos at katawan niya. Hindi na siya kasing payat noong huli ko siyang nakita at mukhang alagang-alaga siya sa gym.

"Oh babe, I just introduced myself to Jemina." Karmina stood and snaked her arm around Alexis' waist.

Alexis' eyes met mine and a smile crept on his lips. "Hey Jemina! Welcome back." He was way more cheerful than before.

"Thank you." My voice couldn't hide the shyness. Kahit kilala ko na siya noon, hindi ko naman siya gaanong close.

"Hiramin ko si Karmina ha."

I smiled and nodded. "Sige lang." He didn't need to ask my permission anyway.

"Tara babe." Alexis turned his gaze at Karmina and his eyes glittered in a different way. They both looked really in love.

Karmina gaze at me. "Okay ka lang diyan? Come on, maglibot ka and enjoy the party." Karmina was cheerful as well.

Nanatili akong nakangiti. "Sige okay lang ako rito."

"You sure? Asaan nga pala si Rimuel?" Karmina looked around.

"Andiyan lang 'yon. Maya-maya maglalakad-lakad din ako." Maybe Rimuel went at the pool area with Adam, since they were together the moment Adam arrived here.

Karmina nodded at me before going with Alexis. I just watched them walked away. My lips wouldn't stop smiling as I watched Karmina walk with full of energy while Alexis was just lazily walking. How I wish I could also have the energy the same as Karmina's energy.

Minutes passed after the conversation with Karmina, I decided to take a walk.

Mas marami pa lang tao sa pool area kaysa sa sala. Natanaw ko naman si Rimuel na medyo malayo sa kinatatayuan ko ngayon. Kausap niya nga sina Adam, Kai, and, Paulo. Naa-amazed pa rin ako sa tuwing naiisip na ang matured na talaga nila. Time flies really fast.

"O.m.g wait."

Napahinto ako sa paglakad nang may humarang sa aking babae. Mas matangkad siya kaysa sa 'kin kaya tumingala pa ako.

Her stunning eyes widened and her red lips parted. My brows crossed as I tried to reminisce who she was and a bullet just hit my chest when I realized it was Lustre.

My insecurities went high as I saw her curvy body covering by a fitted sexy blue dress with a slit. She was holding a glass of champagne and It was imposible to not notice her red firing nails.

"Ikaw na ba si Jemina?" My past with her flashed back as she examined me from head to toe like I was some kind of a dirt. The feeling of being belittled just hit me again. "The girl from high school who happened to be the reason of my break up with Rimuel." Her stares felt like she was insulting my soul. "I can't believe it. You are still nothing compared to me."