I Am Not Her

Chapter 08

ISANG tipid na ngiti ang ibinigay ni Noah sa nurse pagkatapos nitong asikasuhin si Winter. “Thank you," ang sabi niya dito.

Tumango lang ang nurse saka lumabas na ng kwarto. Ibinalik niya ulit ang tingin sa kasalukuyan na natutulog na si Winter. Ayun sa doktor na tumingin dito, dahil sa init at dehydration kaya ito nawalan ng malay. Maaari din dahil na rin sa sobrang stress. What could be the possible reason at bakit ang itsura nito ay parang pasan-pasan ang buong daigdig?

Lumabas muna siya ng ospital at nagtungo sa kalapit na convenience store na nakita niya kanina. Bumili muna siya ng pagkain para sa kanilang dalawa ni Winter. Nagugutom na siya. Ilang oras din niyang sinundan si Winter at napagod din siya sa mahabang lakaran.

He checked his phone to see if Lumi sent him a message. Maaga siyang umalis ng office kanina para puntahan si Winter. Gusto niya itong makausap tungkol sa hiling ng kanyang anak pero yun nga lang ay hindi niya alam kung paano niya ito sisimulan.

“Thank you," ang sabi niya sa babae sa counter pagkatapos niyang kunin ang mga binili niya.

Winter was still asleep when he got back in her room. Nauna na siyang kumain dahil halos nanginginig na ang buong katawan niya sa sobrang gutom.

Napahinto siya saglit ng makitang gumalaw ang kamay ni Winter. Inilagay niya muna saglit ang pagkain niya sa tabi. “Winter?" tawag niya dito. Unti-unti naman itong nagmulat ng mata at napatingin sa kanya. He sighed in relief. “Finally, you're awake.”

DAHAN-DAHAN na nagmulat si Winter ng mga mata at ang puting ceiling ang unang bumungad sa kanya. Napalingon siya sa lalaking nakatayo sa gilid ng hinihigaan niya.

“Finally, you’re awake,” rinig niyang sabi nito. It was Noah.

Hindi siya sumagot. Inikot niya ang tingin sa buong kwarto. Nasa ospital siya ngayon. Ang huli niyang natatandaan ay nawalan siya ng malay pagkatapos siyang hilahin ni Noah. Kung bakit ito nandun din ng mga oras na yun ay hindi niya alam, but she was still thankful that he was there to save her.

Sinubukan niya bumangon at inalalayan naman agad siya ni Noah. “Thank you,” nanghihina niyang sabi.

“Kumain ka muna,” anito at may inabot sa kanyang pagkain. Mainit pa yun.

Hindi na siya nagdalawang isip pa at tinanggap niya ang binigay nito. “Thanks. Nag-abala ka pa,” aniya na hindi man lang sinalubong ang tingin nito. “Anong oras na pala?”

“It's almost seven in the evening,” kaswal nitong sagot.

Napatango-tango naman siya. Ngayon ay nakaramdam na siya ng matinding gutom. Hindi na siya nagtataka na hinimatay siya. She was outside the whole day. Sa sobrang tuliro niya ay nawala na sa isip niya ang kumain. At kahit sobrang init sa labas ay hindi rin siyang gaanong umiinom ng tubig. Nag-init ang sulok ng mga mata niya. She blinked a few times as tears lined her eyes. Ayaw niyang umiyak sa harapan ni Noah.

“Are you still not going to eat?”

Ang tinig ni Noah ang nagpabalik sa kanya sa kasalukuyan. She lifted her head and met his gaze. “Oh, sorry. I was lost in my thoughts,” paliwanag niya at kumain na din. Tahimik lang siyang pinagmamasdan ni Noah habang nakain. “Ikaw ba? Hindi ka pa ba kakain?” tanong niya nang mapansin ang pagkain nito sa gilid.

Umiling ito, “No, mamaya na lang siguro.”

Nakaramdam siya ng pagkailang sa titig na ibinibigay nito. “Hindi mo naman siguro ako kailangan titigan ng ganyan at baka matunaw ako,” biro niya pero hindi man lang ito ngumiti o tumawa man lang ng bahagya. Napalunok siya nang makitang seryoso pa din ang mukha nito.

He let out a deep sigh. “Just tell me if you’re still hungry. There’s a convenience store nearby. I can buy you something to eat again. Maybe snacks this time.”

“No, it is okay,” umiiling niyang sabi. “This is already enough. Ayoko ng istorbohin ka pa.”

Noah crossed his legs, folding his arms firmly on his chest. “Alam mo bang muntik ka ng masagasaan kanina?”

She paused and bit her lower lip. “Yeah,” she replied, nodding her head slowly. “I don’t know how you were also there at that time but thanks for pulling me.”

“That’s because I was following you.”

Muntik ng mabitawan ni Winter ang hawak niyang kutsara sa narinig na sinabi nito. “Y-you… you’ve been following me?” she asked in surprise. “Why were you following me? Sino ka ba talaga? You even know my name.”

For a moment he merely stared at her, his expression unreadable. “I have my reason,” he answered vaguely.

“You… you’re not doing this because you like me, right? You even gave me a necklace.”

Noah snickered amusedly, and his gaze dropped to the necklace at her neck. “I see. You’re already wearing it. As I thought, it looks beautiful on you.”

She looked down as she felt the warmth of color invading her cheeks. Nakaramdam siya bigla ng pagkapahiya dahil sa tanong niya. Dahil siguro sa gutom kaya hindi nagfu-function nang maayos ang utak niya. Yeah, that must be the reason!

“There’s no special meaning to that necklace I gave you. Nagkataon lang na nagandahan ako sa kwintas na yan kaya binili ko.”

Nakaramdam siya ng pagkadismaya sa sinabi nito. Somehow, deep inside her, she was hoping that there would be a special meaning to it. But it was her fault anyway. She expected something and that expectation led to disappointment. “Then do you give any girl you just met a necklace? Or kahit siguro sabihin na natin na hindi necklace. Basta kahit ano.”

“No,” mabilis na sagot ni Noah. “You’re different.”

Nagsalubong ang kilay niya sa sinabi nito. “What do you mean?”

“Looking at you right now is a pure torture to me,” anito na nagpagulo sa isipan niya.

She pursed her lips. Wala siyang naiintindihan sa sinasabi nito. Mas lalo lang sumasakit ang ulo niya sa kapipilit intindihin ito. “What did I do for you to say that? If so, why are you still here then?”

“You intrigued me, that's why. Maybe because you look like her. Yeah, that must be the reason why I’m still here.”

“Her?” she asked. Nung nakaraan araw lang ay nabanggit din nito sa kanya iyon. “Who are you talking about?”

But Noah ignored her question. “Tell me what’s bothering you? Buong araw wala ka sa sarili mo.”

“Does it matter?” balik tanong niya.

He didn’t answer.

“You’re weird,” she remarked, and forced herself to laugh. “Everything about you.”

“What's weird about me then?” Noah asked, c*****g his head to one side.

Napailing-iling siya at nagpatuloy ulit kumain. “Don’t concern yourself about me. I’m just a stranger so why bother asking?” Ayaw niyang bigyan ulit ng ibang kahulugan ang nakikita niyang pag-aalala mula dito.

“Winter…”

She was taken aback when Noah called her. Hearing her name rolled off his lips, why did it sound so sweet to her? A soft chuckle escaped her lips. “Kung banggitin mo ang pangalan ko ay parang close na nga talaga tayo.”

“I know a lot about you already so you’re not a stranger to me anymore.”

“How did you know a lot about me?”

Ngumiti lang ito. “So are you not going to tell me what’s the problem?” he asked, dodging her question again.

“If I tell you, can you do something about it?”

He shrugged his broad shoulders. “Who knows? Maybe I can help you.”

She balled her hands into fist and set them on her lap. “I… I need a big amount of money para sa operasyon ng nanay ko. Nung nakaraang araw ay isinugod siya sa ospital dahil may bara ito sa puso. Yun ang dahilan kung bakit wala ako sa sarili ngayon araw na ‘to na gaya ng sinabi mo.”

Tumayo si Noah at nagtungo sa may bintana. Ang tingin nito ay nasa labas. She heard him mutter something incoherable. When he turned his gaze at her, he was already frowning. “I can help you.”

Natigilan siya bigla. Nagtatakang tiningnan niya si Noah. “H-huh?” naguguluhan niyang tanong dito. Hindi niya alam kung tama ba siya ng narinig.

“I said I can help you,” he repeated. “Kung pera lang naman ang problema mo ay matutulungan kita dun. But of course, wala ng libre dito sa mundong ito. I'll help you but in exchange for something.”

Napalunok siya. “What is it then?”

Nagpakawala ito ng isang malalim na buntong-hininga. May ilang sandali din siya nitong tinitigan. Her heart was pounding loudly in her chest and in her ears as she held his gaze.

“Simple lang,” he said, in a low voice. “I want you to be the mother of my son.”