Started with Goodbye

Chapter 13

Just like what Aiden had said to me, if I really wanted to go back to the way we were, I needed to talk to Asher now, or I might really regret it later. Though I was feeling so scared right now, and negative thoughts started to flood my mind all over again, I tried my best to stand up with my own feet and reach the door of our apartment.

“You can do this, Hera.” I heard Aiden told me that made me look at her and nodded my head at her.

I never smiled though, because I thought that I could not do it now because of the nervousness that I felt. I think that my heart beats faster than before, and I do not know if it was because of the nervousness that I felt, or maybe because of Asher, or maybe both. Though I never thought about it anymore because I was so focused on what I should tell Asher after my sudden outburst.

“Promise me that you will not run away from him anymore,” Aiden said to me with a serious tone on her voice that made me nod my head again.

“I will not run away anymore,” I told her as I held the door knob, tightly, with a determined look on my face. “After all, you are right. I will never ever have a chance to fix this problem anymore, if not now. I will might never have a chance to meet him anymore because of what is happening right now. We wil never have a chance to go back to the way we are, and I will not be able to take away the guilt that I will feel, if that will really happen.”

“That’s right,” Aiden agreed as she pat my back, but I did not look at her side anymore. “You should talk to him, and clear things out.” Even though I was not looking at her, I knew that she had that encouraging smile on her face as if she wanted to support me on what I was about to do. “And just remember that whatever that will happen, I will always be on your back, supporting you.”

I just nodded my head at her as I finally opened the door, and I took a deep breath, before I immediately went down on that building so that I would be able to talk to Asher, who was still outside of our apartment’s building, I hope.

The moment that I took a step on the lobby, I could hear the murmurs of the other residents, saying that there was a man outside of that building, and that was when I knew that he was indeed outside of that building, still waiting for me just like what he said earlier.

I took a deep breath before I finally went outside, and there I saw him, sitting on the stairs of the building, his head bowed as if he was tired and as if he was waiting for someone for such a long time.

“Asher,” I called his name, and it was almost a whisper.

He immediately whipped his head towards my direction, and my heart almost ached because I saw that a lone tear fell from his eyes, and even though no one would say to me, I knew that he has been crying for such a long time. He has been outside for a long time, and I have been acting like a j*rk I was.

“Hera,” he said to me as he immediately stood up from his seat, and he went on my side. “Are you now agreeing to talk to me? Is that the reason why you are outside of the apartment?” His eyes were full of hope as soon as those questions left his lips.

It was as if he had anticipated for this moment to come. It was as if he has been waiting for me for a very long time, and finally, finally he had managed to see me again. It was as if he had known me for such a very long time because of how he was acting right now. It was as if he was so afraid that he was not the reason why I was outside.

“Yes,” I told him as I tried to smile, but then, I failed because of the nervousness that was creeping on my heart. “I am here because I wanted to clear things out.” His gloomy eyes immediately brightened as soon as he heard that from me. “I thought, ah no, that was not the right for this.” I looked straight into his eyes as I said, “Someone made me realize that it was not fair that I left you behind without even really talking thoroughly with you.”

His lips, for the first time ever since I went out of the building and called his name, immediately formed a smile. Though I knew that it was a sad one because of all the things that had happened between the two of us.

He was about to say something, but I cut him off. “I think that we should talk about this on a place that the two of us can only hear,” I told him as I tried as hard as I could to give him a smile. “After all, I know that there was so much for the both of us to talk about. There was so many things that we needed to have an answer.”

He immediately nodded his head at me, so I lead him on the nearest park that I know on our apartment so that we would be able to talk, privately, without anyone overhearing what we were about to talk, and without anyone looking at us.

It was a short walk, so short that I never had a chance to prepare myself on what we were about to talk about, but either way, unlike before, I would not run away anymore. I would not turn my back at him because I know that it would just make our situation more complicated than it ever was.

I do not plan on doing something anymore that I knew would be hurtful for the both of us. I do not plan on doing anything that would be the end for what we have. I do not plan on giving up, not now that Aiden made me realize my mistake that I should not have done earlier.

I looked up and I saw that the sky was darker than it ever was. It seems as if anytime soon, a rain would start to fall from the sky. There was not even a single star nor the moon that was visible for our eyes to see. It seems as if it was saying that they became so lonely because of what had happened earlier.

I then looked at his direction again, and gave him a small smile because I did not really know where to start. He was just looking at me, with those tears that was as if it was threatening to fall from his eyes, but he was trying as hard as he could so that he would look so strong in front of me.

“Honestly, I do not know if this is the right thing that I should say to you after all that had happened between to of us,” I told him that made him look at me as he took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, Asher. I’m sorry that I ran away from you. I’m sorry that I thought ahead of you, and I did not even thought of waiting for you to speak about what I just confessed to you.”

I looked away from him again as I looked up at the sky with a sad smile on my face. It was as if I was getting my strength on the stars and the moon above, even though I could not even see it, though I know that it was just hiding behind those dark clouds.

“I was so afraid that I did not think rationally. I was so afraid that I did not even think of what will happen after I said that.” I smiled to myself as I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, before opening it again. I did that so that I would not cry in front of him anymore. I did that so that he would not witness the tears that were threatening to fall on my eyes. “I was so afraid that I will be rejected again, and that I will not be able to see you again after that. Though I think that will be the case right now.”

I still did not look on his direction as I kept my gaze on the skies, and I was shock when I felt someone hugged me from behind. I knew that it was Asher, and my heart pounded than it ever did before because of how close he is to me.

He was so close that I felt his breath on the top of my head, and he was so close that I could almost hear his heart beating, as if saying that it was the answer on my confession. As if his heart was saying that it was what he was about to say to me if I did not ran away from him. It was as if even that heartbeat alone was enough for me to know what he felt for me.

“Silly Hera,” he whispered, but because of how close he is to me, I could hear it so clear that it made my heart pound again. “You do not have to be scared of rejection anymore. You do not have to run away from me anymore,” he told me as he hugged, so tight, as if he was afraid to let me go. “You do not have to be afraid of anything anymore.”

I felt something fell from the top of my head, and I almost thought that it was raindrop, but I stopped thinking because I could hear Asher sobbed but it was gone as soon as I started to hear it. If I we are not in this situation, I would brush it off because I would think that it was just my imagination, but no, because I knew that my ears were not playing tricks with me when I heard him sobbed.

“I am here, and I will always be here by your side,” he told me, and I could hear that his voice trembled as if he was stopping himself from crying. “I will never leave you, and I will always watch you even if we are far from each other. I promise that I will never let you feel so alone.”

A small smile crept into my lips as soon as I heard that. A lone tear feel from my eyes, not because I was sad and not because I was in pain, but because the happiness that I felt was too overwhelming and my heart almost could not take this kind of care from someone that I barely knew, but made me believe that I could also feel that emotion called love.

“I love you, Hera,” he said to me that made my heart pound even more faster than before. “I love you and I promise that I will watch you, even from afar. I promise that I will never give up between the two of us.” I did not know what to say anymore because of what he said to me next. “Even if the universe is against us, even if it will be so hard, I promise to hold you and protect you until the end of time.”

And it was as if the dark clouds earlier were not saying that they were sad because of what could possibly happen, and instead, they were celebrating because they knew that Asher felt the same way as mine, and even stronger if you would ask me. It was as if they were overjoyed because of the confession that had happened between the two of us.

Rain started to fall from the sky, until the two of us became soak. Rain started to celebrate with us because finally, finally I did not run away from something because I was scared. Finally, I managed to become stronger than it ever was. Finally, I managed to realize that it was never scary if you would just face your problem.

I faced him and looked at him with a smile on my face, and he did so too before I finally hugged him again as I buried my face on his chest. I hugged him so tight because I could not seem to find any right words for me to say to him. It seems as if I could not make myself say anything to him, because of what he just said to me. It seems as if I just wanted to show him how glad I was because of what he just confessed to me.

We stayed like that for almost a minute, without even giving any single care on our surroundings, and we did not even care if we were already soaked from head to toe because of the rain that was still pouring above us.

I did not want to let go, and it seems as if he did not want too because of how tight his embrace is. We just continued to stay on that position and we were just paying attention on our warmth. We did not care if someone could see us, because for the both of us, it means that they had witnessed our love for one another.

And finally, when I think that I had enough strength to look at his face again, I finally told him, “I love you too, Asher.”

And there, under the pouring rain, we shared a kiss as if we promised to each other that we will never let each other go.