Unromantic Romance

Chapter 19

Of course, who am I kidding? 

I wanted the game to end at para makatulog na ako pero sinong niloloko ko? It's already 11:00 pm yet I am still wide awake. I think I spent an hour rolling to each side of my bed trying to sleep. I just cannot!

Hindi ko nasagot ang tanong ni Regis dahil nagtawag na si Mr. Bordino na oras na para pumanhik. Maybe after considering the thought that this night is unlucky for me, luck eventually came to my side. 

Mr. Bordino's interruption back there was a blessing in disguise. I was truly lucky. Kung hindi dumating si Mr. Bordino, there is no way to escape Regis' question. I don't know what to answer. 

I was so confident to play the game back then but my guts easily faded away, taken by the cold wind. 

Bumangon ako at nagsuot ng jacket. Maybe if I go out for a bit, I can ease my mind. Ang plano ko'y sa teresa lang tumambay pero there's something enticing in the beach kaya nagtungo ako doon. Hindi naman madilim dahil may mga lamp post naman. 

I'll tire myself out para pagbalik ko ay makatulog na ako kaagad. While I was walking on the beach, the cold sea breeze blew my hair, tingling my insides. 

When the wind blew hard, thoughts came rushing into my mind, filling me in. 

Why do I hate Regis?

 The primary factor is that he pisses me off. Why? Because he always contradicts everything about me. He can always shot back at everything I say. He is the epitome of perfection yet here I am, the perfect example of imperfection. We shared clashing theories and we view everything from different perspectives. I hate how he always manages to cut me off and insert something better. I am thriving hard to fit yet he's there, doing what he usually does without realizing that he's effortlessly surpassing me. 

Am I jealous? 

Yes, that question came to my mind before. Maybe I am? Maybe I was.

Maybe I was jealous of him because he is always appreciated. No matter how I convince myself that I don't need everybody's praises, I know deep down in my heart that I yearned for everyone's approval. I yearned for everything that Regis has. He owns almost everything I am lacking. 

Yes, no doubt. I was jealous of him. 

It 'is' not I am jealous but I 'was' jealous. Past tense. 

I feel like what I am feeling now is not a mere jealousy but beyond that. I am guessing that this feeling is something I should deprive myself of.  

I hated him and that also means that I buried and forgot my feelings. In order to hate him strongly, I buried this feeling deep down into the ground and forgot about it as time passed by but I was wrong. 

The feeling I buried a long time ago in exchange for hating him firmly is too strong that it rises back to the surface. 

Do you know what happens to buried feelings? They don't die, they only grow.

They didn't grow as tiny and soft but it grew immensely and hard that it chained my feet first to keep me from running away until it reached my hands and twirl its firmly built stems around it, clutching me. I thought it was just that but it exceeded its limitations and reached for my heart, squeezing it, making it pound fast and wild. I convinced myself that it is okay, I can control it but any time soon, I know, it will reach my brain and will dominate my mind, owning my thoughts like it was his.

Its owner will come right after and whisper something that will make me obey because his words are like tattoos, sticking to my head and a poison that will be the demise of me. He will rule me, everything of me. 

This is frustrating, really. 

Bumuntong-hininga ako at sinikop ang aking buhok.

"Le'," I jumped out of surprise at kaagad na bumaling sa aking likuran. I saw Marlon, putting his jacket on while still panting. I looked at his back, thinking that maybe he ran which caused him to pant this hard. 

"M-marlon," gulat na tawag ko sa pangalan niya. "Do you want anything?" 

Inayos niya ang buhok niya and shifted his weight. "Can we talk?"

Kumunot ang noo ko pero tumango naman kalaunan. 

"Uh... not here. Ang lamig kasi dito," sabi niya. He pointed somewhere under a bunch of coconut trees near us. Pumayag naman ako at sinundan siya na nauna sa paglalakad. 

I leaned on the coconut tree habang hinihintay ang sasabihin niya. 

He scratched the tip of his nose. "I'm sorry for spreading rumors about us being together."

My forehead creased at what he said. That was months ago pero if he says he is sorry, then I'll accept it. 

"Apology accepted," sabi ko nang walang pag-aalinlangan. There is silence between us so I took that as an end of the conversation at aalis na sana ako nang hinawakan niya ako sa braso. 

"I... I still have something to say, please hear me out." 

I sighed and decided to stay. 

"Fine. What is it?"

He heaved a deep sigh before saying something. "I purposely spread those rumors thinking that we'll eventually happen. I didn't think you'll have Gelson Ty as your boyfriend." 

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko sa sinabi niya. I didn't even think about his reason for spreading those rumors. 

"I... I like you, you know. Ever since then. I just don't know how to get your attention," sabi niya. "But that time when you finally noticed my existence and talked to me at my Lolo's party, my hopes went up. I thought we'll happen any time soon so I hoped for you." 

Maingat akong tumango sa sinabi niya. I don't know what to say so I just urged him to continue. 

"After hearing that you said yes to Gelson Ty, it hit me hardcore. It hurts so much. My hopes was immediately shattered and I was brokenhearted. I never attended school for a week." 

My lips parted at what he told me. Gosh, is this guy serious? I don't think he's telling me lies either. He's too innocent to lie right in front of my face.

"I dated girls soon after but I couldn't ignore my feelings towards you. You are too good to forget," he said in a small voice. "I couldn't forget you even if you talked to me just for a couple of minutes. I love you." 

I am surprised, alright. All my ex-boyfriends were not serious and was only looking for fun. There are guys who confessed that they have fallen in love with me but I ignored it because I know that it's only a temporary feeling or perhaps, it is a feeling driven by l**t and thrill  which will only last for a fleeting moment but everything is complicated with this guy. I cannot seem to ignore him because he is too innocent. And he just told me that he was brokenhearted that he left school for a week! Can you actually believe that!?

I don't know if I should be happy or not because someone is crazy for me.

Now, this frustrates me even more! I have a lot in mind already, may dumadagdag na naman. 

"I... I don't know what to say," sabi ko habang nangangapa ng maaring idagdag. 

"Do you have someone already?" Marlon asked. I can sense that he is pissed by the tone of his voice. 

Isa pa ang tanong na iyan! I wanted to answer no but why does it feel like it's a mistake? Something is keeping me from saying no and encouraging me to say yes. 

The heck, why would I say yes?! I... don't have someone. The serious-looking Regis suddenly popped up in my mind, painting my head all black. 

"So you have one," sabi niya. 

What Marlon said is pushing me to my limit. I wanted to shout at his face a big fat no but there's something sealing my lips. 

"Nagseseryoso ka na ba? Usap-usapan na wala ka ng boyfriend ngayon." 

I am so pressured! What should I do? 

Nanghihina kong tiningnan si Marlon. I don't have any idea what to do nor how should I handle this. Regis' face is dominating my head! I wanted to clear my mind out of Regis' image in my head.

In a swift moment, I pulled Marlon closer and pressed my lips on his. Nanlaki ang mga mata niya sa gulat dahil sa ginawa ko but he then closed his eyes and kissed me back. That's when I realized what I've done!

Kaagad ko siyang itinulak papalayo habang gulat sa sariling ginawa. Damn! I wanted Ayii to pull my hair right this instant and Jay to put some sense on me. 

"Le'-"

"I'm sorry. That was a mistake," mahinang sabi ko. 

"No, it was good-"

"I shouldn't have done that. It was a mistake," ulit ko. Naguluhan si Marlon sa sinabi ko kaya humakbang siya papalapit sa akin. 

Bago pa siya tuluyang makalapit ay may humila na sa kanya dahilan kung bakit napabalik siya sa kinatatayuan niya kanina. 

"Prez!" Gulat na tawag ni Marlon kay Prezy na siyang humila sa kanya pabalik. "B-bakit ka nandito-"

"Ikaw? Bakit ka nandito?" Seryosong tanong ni Prezy sa kanya. Nangapa naman ng isasagot si Marlon nang bumaling si Prezy sa akin sa namumulang mga mata. 

"I... uh... talked to Le' a bit," bulong ni Marlon pero hindi na siya tinapunan ng tingin ni Prezy.

"Why... are you here?" Nagtatakang tanong ko kay Prezy. 

She laughed hysterically, finding my question hilarious. "You are asking me why am I here? You oblivious brat!" Her voice thundered that I swear some of the birds residing on the trees flew away. 

"Stop raising your voice, Prezy. What's your problem-"

 Kaagad niya akong sinugod at malakas na sinampal. I felt the pain on my cheek and the side of my lips stings a bit. It bled. 

I looked at Prezy, surprised. When I meet her gaze, her eyes are now bloodshot like she cried before and I can see new tears attempting to fall out of her eyes. She is about to cry again. 

I held my pained cheek. 

Kaagad naman siyang pinigilan ni Marlon at hinawakan sa bewang para pigilan siyang mas makalapit pa sa akin. 

"How could you kiss Marlon?! How could you kiss the man I love, Le'!" She shouted at the top of her lungs. Nanlaki naman ang mga mata ko sa sinabi niya. 

She loves Marlon?

"W-what do you mean-"

Susugurin na naman niya sana ako ulit nang pinigilan siya ni Marlon at hinila palayo sa akin. "Ano!? Hindi ka pa ba kuntento sa mga lalaki mo? Akala ko ba one at a time ka lang? Was it a sudden change of mind at napagpasyahan mo ng pagsabay-sabayin?! Hindi mo rin palalampasin si Marlon, ganoon ba!?" 

I don't know what to say. I know that I was wrong. I shouldn't have kissed Marlon. I tried to correct that mistake but she suddenly showed up. Damn, what have I done?

Even if she loves Marlon or not, I shouldn't have kissed him. This is my fault!

"Sumagot ka! You filthy Montemayor!" 

"Please calm down, Prezia! Calm down!" Pigil ni Marlon sa nanggagalaiting si Prezy. May iilang estudyante ng nandito, siguro narinig ang malakas na sigaw ni Prezy. 

This is a mess!

"Bitawan mo'ko Marlon! I'll scratch that girl's face para hindi na siya makapambiktima pa! She lured you! Let me go!" 

Sapilitan siyang hinarap ni Marlon. "She didn't lure me, Prezia! Mahal ko siya!" 

I felt like I fell from an endless bottomless pit because of what Marlon have said. He shouldn't have said that! He is just making things more complicated!

I heard people gathered around us gasped at what they heard from the governor's grandson. This is an issue, siguradong pagpipistiyahan ito ng buong Ayazo lalo na't involve ang apo ng gobernador!

"Marlon, stop it-"

I saw how Prezy's hardened face became soft and her eyes, pleading. Nanghihina siyang kumapit kay Marlon. "How... how could you say that you l-love her? It's not... love, Marlon. You love me, remember? You said that!" Desperadang sabi ni Prezy. 

"I loved you as a friend, Prezia. I didn't meant I love you as a woman." 

Prezy's mouth gaped upon hearing. I heard her sob while her head's down. 

Kaagad naman akong nilapitan ni Jay at nilagyan ako ng kumot sa braso. I felt the coldness inside me even if I am already wearing a jacket. Ayii went to Marlon and talked about something. 

"Are you okay, Le'? We hurried over after hearing that there's a commotion here," Jay said in a soothing voice. "Let's go back. Ayii will handle the situation. You need to rest." Inalalayan niya ako paalis. 

"Hindi ito pwede pumutok sa labas. I don't want my family to be involved," I whispered to Jay.

"Ayii will do that, rest assured-" 

"Oh my god!" 

I heard girls gathered around us shrieked kaya kaagad akong bumaling sa aking likod kung saan nakatuon ang mata ng lahat. Even Jay was surprised as soon as we turned around to see the reason why the girls suddenly shrieked. 

"My, what happened- Regis, are you okay?!" Nag-aalalang tanong ni Jay kay Regis. 

Nang sinundan ko ang kamay ni Regis, I saw how he stopped Prezy's hand holding a shattered glass from a bottle and was about to stab me from behind. I saw how crimson blood flowed at Regis' hand reaching on his arms.

Migs shove Prezy away na nasalo naman kaagad ni Marlon. Kagad naman siyang nahimatay which made people even more shocked.

"Take her, please! I'll send a nurse to check on her," I heard Milton, the Student Council's Vice President said to Marlon who's worried while looking at Prezy who just fainted. 

Migs held Regis' bleeding hand while surveying it. 

"Regis-" I tried to call. 

"What happened to your hand, Regis!?" Lily-anne showed up out of nowhere and interrupted me. Inalis niya ang kamay ni Migs at siya na ang humawak sa duguang kamay ni Regis. "Your hand is bleeding!" She immediately panicked. 

'Like it wasn't obvious enough.' I would like to say that only if I am not the one to blame why Regis' hand is bleeding.

"Are you okay? Let's go, ako ang gagamot sa'yo." 

Regis was just seriously looking at his bleeding hand. Lily-anne called him again and encouraged him to get treated. 

"Regis-" I tried calling again but he nodded to Lily-anne na kaagad naman siyang hinila paalis.

"That Prezy is a psychopath!" Ayii angrily said habang palapit sa akin. "You have to rest. Let's go." 

I stared at Regis who is dragged by Lily-anne back to the resort. Hinila ako ni Ayii kaya nagpatianod na lamang ako. 

"Ingratang iyon! Malamang masakit iyon. Siya kaya masaksak ng basag na bote tapos sabihan ko siya ng, 'Your hand is bleeding!' Kainis!" I heard Migs murmured while walking passed us in a fast pace while Milton is stalking him from behind, secretly laughing.

"I already talked to everyone. This won't leak out in public," sabi ni Ayii habang pabalik kami sa kwarto namin. 

I am not in my right mind to answer their questions so I just nodded. 

The moment I saw Regis bleeding, my mind went blank. I blamed myself for what happened to him. This is my fault from the very beginning. 

I am so guilty and I wanted to say sorry to him but I just cannot interfere with his girlfriend's sudden appearance. 

"Will Regis be fine?" Jay worriedly asked. 

"He will be. Lily-anne will treat her," Ayii answered. 

Tumango naman si Jay at hinaplos ang likod ko. "Yeah, he will be. Gagamutin naman siya ng girlfriend niya." 

I don't know but I feel like Jay purposely said that to annoy me even if she has no intention to do so.

With all the shock I am feeling, annoyance filled me in. I suddenly wanted to replace someone's position as a girlfriend.

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