Bruised And Battered
2993 Words
Chapter Twelve
Bruised And Battered
(Bryce’s POV)
“Hey, baby, wake up now.” I kissed her lips which now formed an adorable sweet smile. Pati ako napangiti na rin. “Now wake up. I have practice, wake up now.”
“Pwede ba dito na lang muna tayo?” *x*
“Hindi pwede, may survey kayong gagawin ni Fu. Importante ‘yon. Sige na, tumayo ka na. Hindi mo pwedeng ibagsak ‘yon, baka ma-kick out ka.”
“Ang OA naman, kick out agad?” -___-
Tumawa ako. I scooped her and lifted her up to which made her giggled. “Tatayo ka ng kusa o kikilitiin kita?”
“Tatayo na, tatayo na.” :D
Ngumiti ako, satisfied that I made her get up. “Maligo ka na, I’ll prepare breakfast. What do you want?”
“Hmm… eggs and bacon.” Then she briefly kissed me before running to the bathroom.
Tumayo na rin ako at nagtungo sa kusina. Naghalungkat ako sa ref, thankfully hindi pa ubos ang bacon strips tsaka itlog namin. Sa lakas kumain ni babe hindi umaabot ng isang linggo ang mga binibili naming groceries and stocks.
I fried some eggs and bacon while waiting for the bread to toast. I brewed the coffee. Kape lang ang nagpapagising kay Lex bukod sa malamig na tubig ng shower. Sayang, di ko naririnig kung paano siya tumili sa lamig ng tubig. xD
When I prepared everything on the table, pumasok ulit ako sa kwarto. Kakatukin ko sana ang banyo nang makita ko ang cell phone niya na nagbi-blink at nakapatong sa may bedside table. Out of curiosity tumingin ako. It’s Sheena. Then the blinking stopped. Nanlaki ang mata ko sa nakalagay sa screen niya.
30 missed calls, twenty two text messages.
Seriously? Gano’n ka-desperado ang kapatid niya sa ka-textmate?
The blinking goes on again. Maybe may kailangan siyang sabihin. Siguro importante. Kung gano’n ba naman karami ang mga tawag na ibinabato niya kay Lex sa isang gabi lang baka nga importante. So I decided I’d answer it since hindi pa lumalabas ng banyo si Lex. Matagal pa ‘yan sa banyo.
“Ate! Ate, malaking problema! Nalaman na ni impakto este ni Daddy na umurong ka sa kasal n’yo ni Vince! Pabalik na siya ng Pilipinas! Sinabi na niya kay Lola na hindi ka raw competent para mag-take over sa companies kaya may karapatan siyang i-handle ang kompanya as Mom’s husband! Malaking problema ‘to, Ate! Lalo na’t alam na rin niyang involved kayo ni Kuya Bryce, mukhang may pina-plano na naman ‘yun! Malaking problema kapag napunta sa kanya ang mga yaman ng Gonzales dahil sigurado akong babalikan ka nu’n pagkatapos mo siyang suwayin ng paulit-ulit! Ate! Ate? Ate, and’yan ka ba? Huy, Ate!”
My mouth was hanging open as my eyes widened in shock. Narinig ko ang pagbukas ng pintuan and I spun around just to meet a inquiring eyes. Then her sight turned to her phone. I think it sink in. “Bryce…”
Hindi na namin napag-usapan ang tungkol sa kasal nila ni Vince simula no’n. It must have slipped my mind.
Mahalaga kay Lex ang yaman ng Mommy niya. It was clear to me and to everyone na siya mismo ang pinagbilinan ng Mommy niya sa lahat ng mga ‘yon. But Lex is not involved in businesses. She’s taking broadcasting at masyadong malayo ‘yon sa business. Marrying Vince is one way of securing the riches to her hands because Vince is a competent successor because he’s involved with business since he’s the guy.
Bakit ako? Bakit hindi na lang ako?
“How long did you know about this?” my voice was above whisper. I couldn’t take this things that I’ve just heard.
“S-Si Sheena ba ‘yan?”
“Lex, tinatanong kita. Gaano katagal mo nang alam ‘to at gaano mo na rin katagal na tinatago sa’kin ‘to?”
She bit her lip that’s quivering now. Gustong-gusto ko siyang yakapin but I had to restrain myself. How am I going to pull this off? God, why now? Bakit kailangang ngayon pang maayos na ang lahat?
“The day after we got back together umurong ako sa kasal. Vince has laid all the consequences to me if I did that but I wanted to be with you so I didn’t budge.”
“What about the companies? Nasa patakaran ng Emerald na kailangan may competent successor ang bawat clan with at least a four year margin before the current holder steps out of position. Lex, magre-retire na ang Lola mo next year. Kailangan mong magpakasal ngayon to secure that damn riches to your hold!”
“Ayokong magpakasal! Maiintindihan ako ni Mommy kung bibitawan ko ang mga yaman na ‘yon. Hindi ko kailangan nu’n, Bryce!”
“Oo, kailangan mo ‘yon! Pa’no ka? Pa’no pag binalikan ka ng Daddy mo? Paano ang pag-aaral mo? Paano ka mabubuhay? Hindi mo pwedeng kunin ang nasa savings account mo dahil wala sa pangalan mo ‘yon, mapupunta ‘yon sa Daddy mo! If ever you apply for work, what if ipa-blacklist ka ng gago mong tatay sa lahat ng kompanya? Paano ka? Paano kayo ng kapatid mo?”
“Ikaw? Ikaw… won’t you be there if that’s the case?”
I would be. I fvcking would be!
Pero hindi eh. Kung malalaman ng mga magulang ko ‘yon they surely would kick me out. Tatanggalin nila lahat-lahat ng meron ako. Hindi ako takot do’n. But crap, I wasn’t ready for this! Kung alam ko na magkakaganito nag-isip na sana ako ng paraan kung paano ko bubuhayin si Lex na walang tulong ng iba. Kung alam ko lang…
Ayokong pagsisihan ni Lex ‘to. She deserves the life she has today. After everything that she’d gone through hindi ko kayang panoorin siya habang ibinabasura niya ‘yon para lang sa’kin. Sasaluhin ko siya kung kaya ko. Pero hindi eh. We would end up crawling and starving to death and it would kill me to watch her live her life miserably with me.
And I never ever thought I would say the words that would kill me just for the sake of keeping her happy. “No. No, I won’t be there, Lex. Because if you have forgotten, takot akong mawalan ng yaman. Takot akong itakwil ng mga magulang ko! Didn’t you left me for that in the first place?”
“You just didn’t… said that…”
“I did.”
♪Did I hear you right?
Cause I thought you said let’s think it over.
You have been my life and I never planned
Growing old without you.♪
“Bryce…”
“Pack your things, get out.”
I saw how her eyes widened and tears began to form. At that moment gusto kong lumuhod sa harapan niya, sabihing hindi ko naman talaga gustong sabihin ang mga ‘yon. But how? I can’t mess up with her life, that would kill me thrice as much as being without her kills me. Hindi ko siya kayang panoorin na naghihirap. Hindi sa kamay ko, hindi kasama ko.
“Baby, don’t do this. Hahanap ako ng paraan, h’wag ganito!”
It’s crushing my heart to hear her begging me. I was supposed to be the one begging her. I was supposed to be the one who would find another way to keep her with me. But we’re screwed. I can’t take her with me, she’ll suffer.
I took her arm and drag her outside the unit. Naririnig ko siyang umiiyak. I couldn’t look at her. I can’t even manage to say anything because I was too afraid that I’ll just cry and lose my strength and tranquility.
I hailed a cab and dragged her inside. I took a bill and gave it to the driver kasama na ang address ng bahay nila. She was crying while begging me not to do this.
I never want to do this, Lex, believe me. I love you but I couldn’t watch you suffer with me. I can’t…
“Bryce! Please! Please don’t kick me out, I’ll fix this! Please nooo!”
♪Shadows bleeding through the light
Where a love once shined so bright
Came without a reason
Don’t let go on us tonight
Love’s not always black and white♪
“Haven’t I always loved you?”
I died a million times when the cab went away. The moment it wasn’t in sight, nanghina ang tuhod ko at bumagsak ako sa kalsada. Streams of tears filling my sight till everything became blurry.
I can’t believe I did that. I can’t believe this is happening. This isn’t happening, it can’t happen! Masaya na kami, ito ba ang kailangang maging kapalit ng lahat ng ‘yon?
Kailangan ko si Lex. Anong gagawin ko? Anong gagawin ko?
♪But when I need you, you’re almost here.
And I know that’s not enough.
But when I’m with you, I’m close to tears.
Cause you’re only almost here.♪
“Bryce! Bryce!”
Nagtinginan lahat ng tao sa court. Pumasok si Lex kasunod si Sheena. The silence deafened me. I couldn’t mutter anything. Gustong-gusto kong tumakbo at yumakap sa kanya. Gusto kong itago ang sarili ko sa mga yakap niya. Nahihirapan na ako.
“Pag-usapan natin ‘to, hindi pwedeng ganito!”
“Tapos na tayo, Lex. H’wag mong ipahiya ang sarili mo, ayokong pag-usapan ka ng mga tao dahil dito. Tumigil ka na.”
“Sinabi ko na ngang gagawa ako ng paraan, di ba? Hindi kita idadamay sa problema ko pero utang na loob, kausapin mo’ko! Hindi ganito!”
I shook my head at tumalikod sa kanya. I had enough of crying yesterday, I couldn’t do this without tearing me up. “Naghanap lang ako ng rason para makipaghiwalay sa’yo. Tapos na tayo. Whatever your issues are, it’s not mine to meddle with anymore. Just get out of my sight.”
“No…”
“Ate, ano ba umalis na tayo! Ayaw na nga niya eh! Tara naaaa!”
I couldn’t see anything, it must be the tears filling up my face again. With the silence I could hear the sound of her sneakers fading away until it was gone.
“Hoy, Bryce… gago ka ba?” I recognized the voice as Ana’s. It was above a whisper, it sounded like she couldn’t believe what she just saw.
I couldn’t even believe it myself.
And never in my entire existence did I ever thought that I would cry in front of many people because I broke up with a girl. I never cried while breaking up with a girl. Hell I never even cried in front of many people!
“Tol, ano ba? Ano bang nangyayari sa’yo?”
“Oh goodness, munchkin…”
I felt an arms embracing me. I cried. I wish it was Lex’s. I wish she would just come back and take me to her arms. I wish it was her embracing me and not somebody else. “I love her, Ana. I love her…”
♪I would change the world
If I had a chance, oh won’t you let me?
Treat me like a child, throw your arms around me
Oh please protect me.♪
The feeling of kissing somebody’s lips and not Lex’s… it makes me sick to the bones. The feeling of having someone’s body close to mine that is not Lex’s body… it’s killing me. I never reacted like this before. In fact I wanted that because I count it as a distraction.
But why isn’t it distracting me now?
“Bryce, seriously, you don’t have to just grab a random girl and make out with her just because you want Lex to know that you’re back with your player ways. Timang ka ba, tol? Sinong maniniwala do’n eh kalat sa buong school na umiyak ka kanina dahil sa kanya.”
“Hindi aabot sa kanya ‘yon. Maniwala ka…”
“Yeah, who are you kidding? She’s approaching, three o’clock. Kasama yung fiance niyang hilaw. Inaawat ata siya.”
I didn’t have to talk anymore. The girl I was making out with earlier wrapped her strange arms around my neck and shove her mouth to mine. It was that feeling again. Emptiness. Being sick to the guts. Dead. Oh yeah, I feel dead.
“s**t! I told you, Lex, you shouldn’t have bothered coming here!” fvck that voice, I wish I could just punch him with all the strength I have.
“But… why?” because I love you. Stop now, baby, please. It’s hurting me twice as it is hurting you. Please stop.
“Let’s go. Once a player, always a player. Hindi mo na mababago ‘yon. He played with you, it only took him a month and a half para pagsawaan ka.”
I pushed the girl slightly and was ready to tackle Vince any moment but they weren’t there anymore. Jc shook his head at me. “Nakakaawa siya, Bryce. That words might have triggered it.”
She believed it? She knew me for such a long time and she believed Vince? Tang ina, ba’t ang sakit-sakit? Bakit ang sakit?
♪Bruised and battered by your words
Dazed and shattered how it hurts
Haven’t I always loved you?♪
Paano ako makakatulog ng maayos sa gabi knowing that she wasn’t there to fill those empty cold nights anymore? How? How am I gonna live without her?
Kung may paraan lang. Kung may isang paraan lang para makuha ko siya ng hindi isinasakripisyo ang kinabukasan at ang buhay niya. Why do I have to be a useless bastard when it comes to these? Bakit hindi ako nag-ipon ng sarili kong pera? Bakit inaasa ko sa mga magulang ko ang lahat-lahat?
Bakit? Bakit napaka-walang kwenta kong tao?
♪But when I need you, you’re almost here
And I know that’s not enough.
But when I’m with you, I’m close to tears
Cause you’re only almost here.♪
“Bryce? Open this damn door, Bryce!”
Lex?
Gusto ko siyang makita. Gusto ko siyang hawakan, gusto ko siyang makasama, gusto ko siyang makatabi, gusto ko siyang nandito. Oh God…
Binuksan ko ang pintuan. She instantly shoved me out of the way and got inside. Gustong-gusto ko siyang yakapin. Gustong-gusto kong maramdaman na nandito lang siya. Na hindi siya aalis. Na hindi niya ako iiwanan.
“Tama na ‘tong habulan! Kausapin mo’ko ng matino, Bryce! Hindi ikaw ‘to eh! Ano bang nangyayari sa’yo?”
“Ako ‘to. Hindi ko kasalanang napaniwala kitang ibang tao ako o bulag ka dahil hindi mo nakitang pinaglalaruan lang kita.” How the hell did I even thought of saying that?
“Sinungaling! Hindi ka ganyan, Bryce. Kilala kita, hindi totoo ‘yan!”
Lex… Lex, believe me, I’m not. Please ease this pain. Take this pain away, Lex. Ayoko nito. Sobrang sakit. Sobra-sobrang sakit.
“Ganito ako. Kagaya ako ng tatay mo. Just be thankful that I cheated on you habang hindi pa tayo kasal. I’m not a man that would settle down with one girl. It’s fun honestly. But it’s only fun while it lasts. Kagaya lang ako ng tatay mo, kukunin lahat-lahat ng nasa’yo tapos iiwan ka para sa isang babae!”
And the next thing I knew, her hand flew to the side of my face.
♪Bruised and battered by your words
Dazed and shatted now it hurts
Haven’t I always loved you…♪
“Jerk. I wish I had never knew you.”
It took me minutes to recover after the door slammed shut. My eyes were filled with tears again. My heart was racing so fast in my chest. Fvck…
“L-Lex…?”
I ran outside to search for her. She’s gone. She’s not here. She left me…
“Lex? Lex! Lex, I’m sorry! Lex, asan ka? You can’t leave me like this please, I’m sorry! It’s all a lie, come back now!”
God… oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God… what did I do? What did I do?
♪But when I need you, you’re almost here
Well I never knew how far behind I left you
And when I hold you, you’re almost here
Well I’m sorry that I took our love for granted
Now I’m with you, I’m close to tears
Cause I know I’m almost here
Only almost here…♪
- Writer
