RAY OF LIGHT

CHAPTER 18

There was a long silence between us when he said those words.

He was looking deeply into my eyes and I was too. I was amazed just like what happened the first time I get to see his eyes. They are so beautiful, so calm, and so bright. That kind of bluish eyes.

Bakit hindi ko magawang putulin ang titig ko sa kanya. Bakit parang hinihila niya ako bigla. Napakalakas ng dulot sa'kin ng kanyang mga mata. Nakakapanghina.

"What's happening here?" that voice pulled me out of my stupidity.

Masama ang ipinukol niyang tingin kay Hiro bago ako nilapitan at kinuha ang coat na nasa upuan.

"Is this yours?" tanong ni Glade kay Hiro.

"Yes," sagot niya na parang walang pakialam kung nakita man kami ni Glade na sobrang lapit sa isa't-isa.

Napasinghap ako nang biglang ibato ni Glade kay Hiro ang kanyang coat ngunit bago pa ito tumama sa mukha niya ay nasalo na niya ito.

Ang bilis!

Ngumisi siya bigla. "Careful dude."

"Ah... Sorry. It slipped in my hand," Glade answered back then turned to me.

"You should take care of her. It's cold in here already, she might get sick. After all, true man knows how to take care of her girl," walang prenong tugon ni Hiro.

Umigting ang panga ni Glade dahil sa inis. Ikinuyom niya rin ang kanyang kamay. Dahilan para lingunin ko si Hiro at tignan ng masama.

How could he say those words? Iba magalit si Glade. I don't want to repeat what happened in the past already.

Bago pa niya harapin si Hiro hinawakan ko na ang kanyang mga braso para mapigilan siya.

"Hey," mahinang pagtawag ko sa kanya. "Don't mind him, hmm?"

"No!" matigas niyang sagot.

I shook my head. "No, please listen to me. Let's just go to my room, okay?" pangungumbinsi ko.

Pumikit siya ng mariin at bumuntong hininga. "Fine," sagot niya kaya nakahinga ako ng maluwang at napangiti.

Inakbayan niya na ako at naglakad na paalis doon ng hindi na tinatapunan pa ng tingin ang naiwang Hiro.

Gulo lang dala niya.

Kinabukasan, ipinaalam sa'min ni Hills na umuwi na ng Pilipinas si Hiro.

Now is our lunch time, kumpleto na kami sa hapag at hinihintay na lamang ang mga inihahain ni Manang Lida.

"Mom," masayang panimula ni Hills.

"I've got a good news for you," she continued.

"Sabihin mo na," sambit ni tita na busy sa harap ng kanyang laptop.

"I'm going to quit modelling," may ngiting tugon niya at lahat kami napatingin sa kanya na gulat.

"Woah! That's really a good news for ninang," Glade said.

"What made you decide to quit? Huh? Hindi ba't mahal na mahal mo ang pagmomodelo?" kuryusong tanong ni Gogi.

She rolled her eyes. "Duh! People change."

"Pero kung ikaw, mahirap magbago ng mga plano," sambit muli ni Gogi.

"What's running on your mind Hillary? Ano na ang gagawin mo kung titigil ka sa pagmomodelo?" kunot-noong tanong ni tita Felie.

Once again, she rolled her eyes. "The last time I checked, you were so eager to stopped me from modeling. And now that I did, you're going to questioned my decision? Seriously mom?"

Inayos ni tita ang kanyang eyeglasses at pinagkrus ang kanyang braso. "Bakit ka nga kasi hihinto?"

She blows a loud breath. "You mentioned to us that after maipatayo 'yong hotel sa Pilipinas ay doon na tayo maninirahan... for good, but as for me, by this month mauuna na ako sa Pilipinas. I'll establish my own bar there," she explained proudly

"Woah!" Glade was amazed but not us.

"Do you know how to run a business Hillary?" tito Greg asked all of a sudden.

"Dad, I'm not bobo as what you think. Gaya ng sabi ko, nagbago na ako. It's time for me to explore new things."

No one replied. All of us were just staring at her feeling happy and proud for the decision she made for herself.

"Fine," biglang tugon ni tito na siyang nakakuha ng atensyon namin.

"What? Dad huwag kayong pumayag, ano naman magagawa niya para sa bar na sinasabi niya? Baka masayang lang mga perang magagastos sa pagbi-build up no'n!" pag-alma ni Gogi.

"That's why you're coming with her to the Philippines," tito talked back.

"Oh my gosh!" Hills yelled and run to tito and gave him a hug. "Thank you so much dad. I love you. I really love. Gosh! You're the best!"

"No way!" sigaw muli ni Gogi.

"Mapapaaga lang ang pagpunta niyo Gogi. Sooner or later tatapak ka na rin naman do'n kaya mas maigi na samahan mo ang kapatid mo since ikaw itong may alam kung paano magpatakbo ng bar," tugon ni tita. So payag din siya sa desisyon ni Hills?

"Ma, why are you acting like it's easy to build a bar for her who doesn't even know anything? Ma, masasayang 'yong maiinvest nating pera!"

"George Malli! Kaya mo nga siya sasahan ay para ma-guide mo siya hindi para hayaan na gumawa ng kalokohan lang," seryosong tugon ni tita Felie.

Bumuka ang bibig ni Gogi pero wala rin lumabas kaya masama ang loob nitong tumahimik samantalang si Hills ay sobrang saya na pinayagan siya nila tito at tita.

"Tapos na kayo? Kumain na kayo nang gumaan pa mga pakiramdam niyo," biglang singit ni tita saka inilapag na ang kanyang mga nilutong ulam para sa tanghaling 'to.

"Hi!" bati ko nang makaupo ako sa tabi niya.

"Hi ate," masayang balik niya sa'kin hindi tulad kahapon na hindi maganda ang bawat tingin niya kapag nagsasalubong ang aming mga tingin.

"Sigurado ka na bang titigil ka na sa pagmomodelo?" tanong ko habang nakatitig sa kanya.

Tumigil siya sa ginagawa niya sa kanyang cellphone at hinarap ako. Bumuntong hininga siya at ngumiti ng tipid.

"To be honest ate, I am deeply inlove with modelling. Even if mom was against it, I still pursue modelling. I build my own career without my mom and dad support. Si George naman, he doesn't have anything to say about it, he's not against nor like me about doing it but he supported all throughout.."

"That's him," I butt in and we both smile. Gano'n lang kasi talaga magmahal si Gogi.

He will not say 'Yes, I like it' or 'No, I don't' but you will feel his support to you in all that you do in life.

Kaya kung sino man ang mamahalin ni Gogi, I know na sobrang swerte niya.

"We argue many time about my work. Mom always tell me, wala kang patutunguhan diyan, wala kang matututunan but you see ate, nagawa kong tumayo sa sarili kong mga paa dahil ni minsan ay hindi nila ako sinuportahan. Who was there when I cried everynight 'cause my feet was dam hurting because of countless times that I got sprained? Was there anyone who hug me when our trainors shouted at me several times and calls me stupid infront of many people because I couldn't execute the movements right? Sino ate? Wala... "

Hinawakan ko ang kanyang balikat at hinaplos. Nag-uumpisa ng bumagsak ang mga luha niya gano'n din ako. Hindi ko alam na may ganitong bagay na kinikimkim si Hills. Akala ko maayos lang ang kalagayan niya sa pagmomodelo I didn't know that there was a dark moments in her career too.

She wipe her tears that fell into her face. "But even if I made it to the top already, I couldn't still make them proud of me,"

Agad akong umiling. "They may not be vocal with what they feel but I know Hills, they are proud of you."

Mapait siyang ngumiti. "But sometimes I also have to hear some sweet words, praises and encouragements in order for me to strive more, to work harder. Pero kung hindi ka talaga fit sa mundong kinabibilangan ng pamilya mo, hinding-hindi mo deserve makarinig ng mga ganoong salita."

"Kaya ka ba hihinto nalang?" tanong ko.

Tumingin siya sa mga bulaklak na nasa hardin. "Alam mo ate, I'm always wondering why would my own mom treat me like that? Like she doesn't own me. Like I'm not part of the family. Ang gusto kasi ni mama lahat ng gusto niya nasusunod. But what about my dreams? I also have dreams ate. Dreams that I want to reached and modelling is one of those dreams pero bakit parang ang laking kamalian no'n sa kanya? Mali ba talagang piliin ko sarili ko bago 'yong mga gusto nila? Mali ba ate?...Did she... really love me?" her voice cracked when she said those last line and so I hugged her immediately and patted her back softly.

"No baby. No it's not. Shhhh. Tahan na... Siguro ngayon hindi ka pa naiintindihan ni tita but I know for sure na maiintindihan rin niya ang mga bagay na gusto mong ipaintindi sa kanya. And please huwag mong iisipin na hindi ka niya mahal dahil wala namang ina na hindi mahal ang anak. Tita Felie loves you like how she love Gogi. She treasures you more than anything-"

Naramdaman ko siyang umiling. "No... I f she loves me then why does she told me that I 'm her useless daughter, and that I'm just giving her a pain in the head. Ganoon na ba ako kahirap tanggapin at mahalin? Talaga bang may qualities para matanggap ako ni mama?"

"Hindi yan totoo."

"Tell me ate, bakit ikaw, ang dali ka niyang minahal kahit hindi ka niya tunay na anak," nanigas ako sa kanyang sinabi.

"When she got attached by you, she treated you like her own daughter. Para ngang ikaw na 'yong totoong anak, nawala na ako sa picture." Dahil sa sobrang gulat, hindi ko na siya napigilan ng kumalas siya sa aking yakap ako naman ay nakatulala lang sa kanya.

"You easily take away from me the people I love the most, Glade and my own mother. Tell me, how to be a great Honeyleigh Parker?"