HIS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

Wren's POV It was a month of december. We are on his unit. Feeling my knees shivering while I confusely stared at him changing his clothes as fast as he can. I didn't know, but I let her other girl go. After that night, I never talk to him again, but locked myself up in my room. I ain't know but I never shred a tears even a drop from my eyes. "Rain" rinig kong katok sa labas ng pintoan sa kwarto ko. Hindi ako sumagot bagkos nagbalot ako sa aking sarili ng kumot. I know he's here. "I know you're not in good terms. Please see him, you won't fix it by staying in your room forever. Hija, please.." pagsusumamo ni mommy. I came out to my room and decided to actually end this. Maybe this is for the best. Maybe I was just waiting for the perfect time to face him, cause I was afraid to lost him. I'm waiting to have the courage and strength...to stop this pain. He kneeled infront of me while trying to stop his tears from falling. "Love, please forgive me. What happened between us was a mistake. We haven't done it intentionally. I was drunk honey, we're drunk. Baby, please.. I really felt sorry for what I've done to you, to us. I'm so sorry for-" hindi na niya natapos ang nais sabihin ng malakas ko syang sampalin. All I know that my body is already tired. I am hearless, I am mindless. I'm numb of hearing his nonsense. I can't even think what to do or if I can still become decent infront of him and it really sucks! "So, what are you trying to say? That you deserve a second chance? Because you're just tempted and forgot the way that you're in a f*****g relationship with me? Is that what you want to say, Kai?" as I ask him, I no longer held these tears to fall from my eyes. I cried. "Ofcourse not, honey... please listen to me" he regretly uttered with his eyes sorrowful. "No. That's enough kai. I've been loving you.. in this entire.. relationship. I gave all of me, except that thing. I did everything to make you happy..and to stay with me.. I did everything to satisfy the love that you deserve Kai, because I know that you're worth to be loved. But now... I think I was wrong. Because you still..." "Babe.." nagsusumamong usal niya. "You still... betrayed me! You are cheating on me. And do you know what's worst? It hurts Kai, my heart is f*****g broken into pieces. Do you think that I deserve this pain? Do you think that I deserve all of these, huh? Or nah, I guess you just considered me as a f*****g toy, so you won't mind me hurting" I shouted at him, and being breathless stopped me from talking. "I know I was coward. I'm a jerk to.. to hurt you. But Wren, I promise..." "Shut up!! ..You didn't even think about how I will feel before you've done that s**t,.. right? Because if you do, ... this would never gonna happen... As far as I know,..I did..I did nothing to make you commit this sin, Kai. I did nothing...nothing but to love you,.. more and more... But this way so bullshit you want to repay it?" malakas kong sigaw sa kanya, kasabay nun ang pagbuhos ng aking mga luha. Mas lalo akong nanghina na para bang ginamit ko lahat ng aking lakas sa pagsigaw ng mga salitang iyon, para lang maiparamdam ko sa kanya kung gaanong hinanakit ang dinulot niya sa puso ko. It's already broke into pieces and I don't have any idea when it will be healed. In places no one will find All your feelings so deep inside (deep inside)... Was there that I realized That forever was in your eyes The moment I saw you cry I wanted to hold you I wanted to make it go away I wanted to know you I wanted to make your everything All right I'll always remember It was late afternoon In places no one will find In places no one will find All your feelings so deep inside (forever was in your eyes) Was there that I realized That forever was in your eyes The moment I saw you cry Baby cry Moment that I saw you cry Oh no, no I think I saw you cry The moment I saw you cry. I irritably grab my phone beside me and answer the call without checking it. "Yeah? Sup! I just woke up because of your f*****g call!! Damn it! Don't you even know what time is it right now?" ani ko na napalakas ang boses sa pagkairita. After that incident, I changed..in character. As I spoke that way, I then heared a deep sigh. I guess, it's him again. "Rain, hindi na ako natutuwa sa pinag-gagawa mo. Can you just grow and comeback to Philippines? That asshole brings you in hell and you made your life like hell. Hindi ka ba napapagod? Paulit ulit mong sinisira ang buhay at kinabukasan mo nang dahil lang sa lalaking yun! Hanggang kailan ka ba magiging ganyan? Kailan ka ba uusad?" ani daddy sa kabilang linya. "Until I become happy again dad,.. until this pain fades and the person that caused this pain" mahinang usal ko, parang tutulo na naman kasi yung mga luha ko habang naaalala ang mga sakit na yun.. Then I again heared him sigh. "I bought you a ticket. Your flight scheduled tomorrow morning. Pack your things as soon as possible. You're coming back" he said in a serious way. Napabalikwas ako ng bangon sa narinig ko. Parang nawala bigla yung hangover ko sa narinig. "Dad!!.. No! I'm staying... please. I am not even ready yet for this. Please daddy,.. a little bit longer please...please dad!!" pakiusap ko pa sa kanya. "Rain, let's end it here. Change yourself for a better. You have been in london for almost eight months already. You even spent your time drinking alcohols and attending anywhere's party, then what? Coming home late? Is that how you want to end your life? That's enough, Rain. You're out off limit." saad niya sabay baba ng telepono. Alam kong matagal na siyang nagtitimpi nang galit at inis sa akin, pero mas pinili niyang ibaba yung pride niya para sakin. Arianne Calling.... I took a deep breathe and calmed myself before I answered the call. "Wren, how are you? Are you feeling well? Is it happening again? Do you want me to come over there?" she desperately asked. I smiled. Tss silly. "I am fine arianne, you're overacting. As if..." napahinto ako sa pagsasalita dahil may kirot na naman akong naramdaman sa puso. "As if it's just happening for the first time" malungkot kong sagot. She sigh. "You're still not okay, Wren, I knew it and I cared alot. I want to be with you at your worst. I want to help you coped up with it. I just love you so much" she genuinely said that. "Well, if you really do, come over at my place and let's hang out and be happy for the last time" saad ko ng may bakas na lungkot ang tinig. "W-what do you mean?" she confusely ask. "Hmm..just come over if you want to see me before this day ends" mahinang usal ko saka binaba ang linya. And there, I cried again I can't imagine myself leaving this place in very soon. It used to be my comfort zone and it really helps me alot, ofcourse with arianne too. But sad to say, I have to comeback to the place where I really belong. Habang inaayos ko ang mga gamit sa bagahe, narinig kong may nag do-doorbell sa labas ng condo ko. It's her. Nakangiti kong binuksan ang pinto. Nakasilip siya sa magulo kong silid dahil sa nakalatag na mga gamit saka sya bumuntong hininga. "Come in arianne, sit fir" "So you're really leaving? Without telling me as early as you can? wren, why in a sudden? I-I can't believe this" naiiyak na saad niya saka ako niyakap ng mahigpit. "You're overacting again. Dad just called me, it's just I'm also shocked to his plan. Tch! Babalik pa naman ako" sagot ko, trying to make her calm. "At saka pwede ka namang bumisita sa akin, sa pilipinas hindi ba?" saad ko at tumango naman sya. "Yun naman pala e, ano pang iniiyak-iyak mo diyan?" "Tch, you never change. Ofcourse, I want you to stay, but yeah, who am I to stop your dad's will" she bitterly smiled. Arianne was my very close friend since we were in philippines but she tied up in london for her marriage so it was so sad for us to separate ways but still, I can visit her and she is to me. Tinulungan niya akong mag ayos ng gamit sa bagaheng dadalhin ko, hindi naman na iyon ganon karami kaya mabilis lang rin namin iyon natapos lahat. Salamat nalang at nandito siya, hindi ako gaanong matagalan at mahirapan. "Would you miss this place?" biglang tanong niya sa akin. Nagulat naman ako sa seryosong mukha niya ng lingunin ko. Napaisip naman ako sa mga nangyayare sa akin dito. Ang condo na 'to ang kasama ko at nakasubaybay ng halos buong araw kong pag iyak. Mga panahon na nahihirapan akong huminga, ay nasilayan niya. Yung panahong gusto kong mapag isa ay nandito sya, parang hinahayaan akong sumilong sa bisig niya. I smiled. "Yeah, I will badly miss this place, it used to be my home and my comforter. But now, I'd disappear" saad ko. "Maybe, it's the time for you to move on wren, to recover. To choose yourself once more. To create new things. Maybe this is the chance for you to rebuild the new you. Not for everybody but for yourself." ani arianne habang nakangiti sa kawalan. I took a shot of red wine and smiled. Sunsets appeared fastest than ever but full in relaxing texture. This condo's terrace spot are good for reviving self-consciousness. So am I. "Would you be happy for me changing myself?" tanong ko sa kanya. Lumingon siya sakin at seryoso akong tinignan. "I won't be happy if you change yourself bitterly. I want you to change yourself, not for worse but for you to be strong and to see the brightness ahead of your future. I want you to be strong not for revenge, but to figure out your worth. I want you to heal now, you've done so much enough. All I want you to do is to take care of yourself, chose yourself, and love yourself alone cause no one would ever love you the same way you wanted to. We're not friends for nothing. I'll be with you at any cost. I promise that" saad niya at saka marahan akong iniharap sa kanya. "But please promise me these things" seryosong usal nito saka diretsong nakatingin saking mga mata. Kinakabahan naman ako sa babaeng 'to. "You'd become better, you will be fine as before, and you will forget those painful memories then move forward. As the plane landing, you'll gonna change your future into golds and won't suffer any heartaches anymore. Don't settle for less, make sure to hold the ace in every situations wren, so you won't once experience the same. And at the end of the day, I will be happy hearing you say, finally I did it. I moved on." nakangiting saad niya saka ako niyakap ng sobrang higpit. I really am thankful to this wonderful woman in my life. She's like a guardian and a sister to me. She would always understand me when I am drowned in pain. She's the light of every corner in the road of problems. She's the way out of fuss and the luminous in demur as twinkling meteors.