David & Alexandra

QUINCE

Katotohanan sa Nakaraan

**David 

Time flew so fast our twenty fours were done.

God! I don’t know what to do… I know I messed up big time. As much as I want to hold on to her, I can’t keep her against her will. 

After dinner I wanted us to talk… I can see she’s bothered by it, but I wanted to say something. She may not forgive me, but still I wanted to say Sorry.

“Never mind that, we should talk… before you go” she’s about to clean the dishes after our dinner. I intertwined our fingers and let her sit on the sofa. I can only stand away from her.

“Exi, I’m so sorry, really sorry… for the hurtful words I’ve said, for all the hateful things I’ve done. I know I mess up bigtime, I know what I’ve done is unforgivable. I hope you’ll find it in your heart to forgive this a**hole of a man.” I was looking at my foot while saying this, I can’t even look at her. Nakakahiya mga inasal ko noon at mas lalo na ngayon... 

“All I ask is you give me a chance, another chance to prove to you how much I love you. Please don’t push me out of your life. If I have to ask for your forgiveness everyday in my life, I’ll do that. Just give US another chance… Please” I kneel in front of her… bowing my head on her lap… I’m trying my best not to cry, I don’t want pity from her…

She inhaled deeply and sigh…

“Huwag ganun Gernale, may usapan tayo… pagkatapos mo akong gamitin, magkakalimutan na tayong magkakilala tayo. Baka maniwala na naman ako sa pagmamahal na yan, mabaliw na naman ako.” her voice is so cold… I know I can’t change her mind now. God! I can’t lose her again… 

“Please Pinakamamahal… kahit hayaan mo lang akong ipakita at ipadama yun sayo. Hindi ako hihingi ng kapalit… kung wala na talaga, hindi ko ipipilit. Please” I need to beg… 

“Exi, Please… just a chance” I beg

“I can’t, you don’t know what I have to endure just to be this sane again.” she’s easing to stand up from the sofa… I can see she’s trying her best to conceal her emotions. 

Exi, Please… I can’t bear to lose you again” she’s already standing, me still kneeling holding her close…

“Balik ka doon sa galit na David Andreu, madali lang yun sayo. Bukas lang niyan nakalimutan mo na ako, isa nalang ako sa mga p*tang dumaan sa mga kamay mo.” she’s angry now… I can understand that, gusto ko nga bugbugin niya ako, sabunutan, tadyakan kahit ano tatanggapin ko, mapatawad niya lang ako. 

“Exi, I’ll do anything… anything just so you would forgive me” I stand up… holding her face with both hands.

“You broke me Gernale… I did everything to make you understand then. But you f**king close your door on me. I even sent you all the reports so you would understand… to your condo then, even to the Head Office of Gernale hoping it would reach you, hoping you’ll read it. Kahit yun man lang kahit hindi ka na makinig sa mga paliwanag ko… Pero mukhang tinapon mo na lahat ng kahit anong galing sa akin. Sh*t !?&$” she cursed me

- I remember all her efforts to talk to me, the packages, the letters… I just threw it away.

“Stop cursing, that’s not you” I whispered…

She sighed again… moving away from my touch

“I have to go” all I can do is look at her walking away

“Let me at least take you home, Please” chasing after her at the door

“No need” she refuse 

“Goodbye, Engr. David Andreu Gernale” closing the door on me… I was just looking at the closed doors

F*ck!£% Sh*t!?$& This is so not the way I thought it would end up. What have I done! God! I can’t lose her.

Hinabol ko pa siya elevator… sa Lobby… pati sa labas ng condo building ko. Nawala na siyang parang bula. F**k!$# Sh*t! %? Dapat ipinilit ko ang paghatid sa kanya…

- Wala ka talagang kwenta Gernale… Hayop yan! 

Bumalik ako sa unit ko… gusto kung magwala, gusto kung manapak. Tang na yan. Napaka g*go ako dati. 

I did not start this, they've messed up my mind then. Tama siya dati somebody ought to destroy us and I’ve let them… f**king let them. 

I’ll do everything just to get her back… I’ll make her love me again. Sorry Exi, hindi kita kayang pakawalan lang. I’ll win you over again. 

Ngayon pa ba… minarkahan ko na siya. She’s mine now… mine alone. 

- P*tang Na yan… makakapatay ako pag may umaaligid sa kanya… Akin siya!

- Maka angkin… eh G*go ka eh! 

Kailangan ko malaman ang mga totoong nangyari… lalo ng gabing yun, sabi niya may pinadala din siya sa opisina na mga sulat. Kailangan kung mahanap yun. 

Sh*t!&$ Paano ako matutulog neto ngayon. 

Everything in this place reminds me of her… sa lahat ng sulok nakikita ko siya. 

F**k! I’m doomed. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Monday comes… I only survived Sunday cause I went home to my family.

Bago pa ako pumasok ng opisina, I called somebody who can help me with those parcels…

“Ms. Mercy, Please Check if there are parcels and letters addressed to me here at the Head Office. When I was still abroad.” Ms. Mercy is Papa’s secretary… if there’s somebody to know these things, it has to be her. 

“I’ll look for it, I think I’ve seen something like that. I’ll call you when I find it” she tells me

“Thank you, Ms. Mercy if you can please prioritize it.” Kailangan ko yun… agad agad.

“Ok Sir” medyo natawa ako dun… Sir? chikiting palang ako Secretary na siya ni Papa…

“Sir? Ms. Mercy… David nalang, tatanda agad ako dyan sa tawag mong Sir” balik kung tumatawa sa kanya

“Hayyy naku kang Bata ka” sabi niyang natatawa pa rin

Napahalakhak nalang ako… nagpaalam ako saka binaba ang tawag. 

To my surprise… 

Naratnan ko sa Reception si Engr. Nilo ang PM ko dati.

“Engr. Nilo!” sigaw na bati ko sa kanya, sabay bro hug sa kanya… napatingin pa ibang tao sa amin. Kilala kasi nila akong hindi na ngiti man lang. 

“Uy David, ay Sir David pala… Engineer Congrats” balik niya sa akin… parang nahihiya pa siya sa bati ko

- Hindi ko na pinansin, he’s been like a father to me. Parte siya ng kung ano ako ngayon.

“Anong Sir David? David lang Kamusta po?” natatawa kung balik sa kanya

“Eto tumatanda na… Ikaw Kamusta? Ikaw na ba Boss namin?” sagot niya

“Hindi pa, Apprentice ulit ako” sabay tawa ko ulit

“Ano po pala ginagawa niyo dito?” 

“Kukunin ko mga papeles sa bago kung assignment daw. Dito na yata sa Metro” 

Niyaya ko siya sa opisina ko, pina sabihan ko nalang si Ms. Mercy na nasa opisina ko siya. Si Papa talaga kasi makakausap niya. 

Humingi ako ng dispensa sa pag iwan ko sa dating Project. Kinamusta ko rin mga dating kasamahan ko dati. Mga naging PM na rin yung iba, yung iba Project In Charge naman… at least lahat sila umasenso na. 

Kimamusta niya ang pagiging Apprentice ko kay Papa. Sabi ko, bago matapos ang taon baka ako na Boss nila. Ang gusto kasi ni Papa sa Year End Party ng opisina ang announcement ng appointment ko pamalit sa kanya. 

Natutuwa daw siya at nagtapos na ako sa pag aaral ko. Pati itsura ko ngayon… kinakantyaw niya, mukha na daw talaga akong Boss. 

- Malayo na nga itsura ko, Oo… pero pakiramdam ko basura ako, ang sama sama ko kasi. Pati dito sa opisina nung bagong salta ako… ang sungit ko, galit nga kasi ako sa mundo.

- Kailangan ko na magbago, kung gusto kung maging effective na Boss at kung gusto kung mahalin niya ulit ako. 

“Maiba ako, nagkausap na ba kayo ni Arch. Alex?” bulalas niya sa akin. 

- Sh*t ! gusto kung magtago…

“Nagkita po kami sa Meeting” walang buhay kung sabi

“Naawa ako sa Batang yun… ikaw kasi hindi mo man lang kinausap dati. So, ano alam mo na ngayon ginawa ng demonyong Rowel na yun?” 

“Hindi po kami nakapag usap. Nagkita lang kami sa meeting. Ano po ba daw nangyari?” 

“Ha? Hindi mo pa rin alam? Ang sabi niya nung gabing bago ka nawala… Noong gabing galit na galit ka sa kanya… Wala daw siyang maalala na sumama siya kay Rowel noon. Kasi sabi ni Bert sa kanya, kaya ka galit na galit dahil nga nakita mo silang magkasamang mag check in.” mahaba niyang kwento

“Totoo po yun, kaya nga nagdilim ako sa galit. Ayoko siyang kausapin baka masaktan ko siya” sagot ko

- Kahit na alam ko na ngayong nagsasabi siya ng totoo na walang nangyari sa kanila ng hayop na yun. 

“Ang sabi niya, Kumain sila ng buong Team doon din sa Hotel na yun. Tapos ng uwian pilit siyang sinasabay pauwi ni Rowel at Angel. Ng maiwan na sila, pinilit siyang mag Bar nung dalawang kumag… sumama siya kasi sabi daw ni Angel susunod ka naman. Yun na last niyang naalala” paliwanag niya ulit…

“Nag text nga si Angel noon, kaya din ako na papunta… kaya lang sa Lobby palang nakita ko silang magkasamang nag che check in” paliwanag ko rin

“Ang sunod nalang daw niyang naalala… kinabukasan na, naka swero siya. Sabi daw nung mga taong nakamulatan niya… nailigtas siya sa mga taong gustong manamantala sa kanya. Ang sabi daw sa kanya baka biktima siya ng party drugs. Buti may mga pulis na nag su surveillance isa dun ang nagligtas sa kanya.” kwento niya pa… 

- G*go ko talaga… pinag isipan ko pa siya ng masama yun pala kailangan niya ng tulong ko noon. 

“Sh*t!” napamura ako 

“Dapat kakausapin kita sa mga sinabi niya… huwag na daw, siya na kakausap sayo pag nakuha na niya lahat ng report nung pulis tungkol sa nangyari. Alam niya kasing galit na galit ka gusto niya may ebidensya siyang papakita sayo.” kwento niya ulit

“Dapat po talaga pala yata kinausap ko siya”

- Eh! G*go ka kasi… wala na kinuha mo na ang hindi nawala sa kanya ng gabing yun. Tragis yan…

“Kausapin mo nalang, pag nagkita ulit kayo. Wala ka pa naman yatang ibang girlfriend” natatawa niyang sabi 

- Kung alam niyo lang ang kagaguhan ko, masasapak niyo ako. Kailangan kong gumawa ng paraan para makausap siya ulit… 

After namin magkausap ni Engr. Nilo, mas lalo lang akong nag mukhang g*go, ang sama ko pala… Tang na! H*yop ka Gernale… 

Pinadala rin ni Ms. Mercy sa opisina ko ang mga nahanap na parcels para sa akin. Sa bahay ko na titingnan baka makawala pa ako dito sa opisina sa mga mababa sa ko.

~~~~~~~~~

I’ve sent flowers for her in their office. Starting today, I’ll say Sorry to her until she forgives me. I won’t stop courting her until she loves me again. I can feel we still have a chance… I won’t give her up.

I’ll make her my inspiration now, if last time it’s my anger which drives me… it’s her now. I know now more than ever… She’s my everything. 

We have a Design Meeting tomorrow in their office, I can’t wait to see her again. She hasn’t been answering all my calls, my sms messages pati DM sa IG… she’s ignoring me. I can understand that, but during the meeting she can’t ignore me.

- Hindi ako pumunta noong last na meeting, ayoko ko nga kasi siyang makita baka magbago isip ko… sa kag*guhan kung gagawin. Pero ngayon lahat ng meeting tungkol sa Project na yun ako na aattend. 

By the end of the day… 

I went home to my condo, I wanted to see what’s in those parcels she sent.

I put it all on the Dining table… arranging it by date. 

First I opened, contains like a police report and statements from some witnesses. 

*The report says. she was drugged at the bar, somebody has put something on her drink. Turns out it was Angel who did that. A photo print out from a CCTV  is included on the report which shows her putting something on the drink she gave Alex. 

- That girl should be imprisoned… 

Then she was dragged out of the Bar by that devil Rowel, that’s what I saw I think. 

- Because she was laughing out loud then, which angered me the most. Yun pala wala siya sa sarili niya na dapat kinaladkad ko nalang siya papalayo doon, pero dahil g*go nga ako hinayaan ko pa… muntik na siya mapahamak sa dumi ng utak ko. 

She was saved by a policeman and one of the receptionists before that devil could do something to her. Kaya siya naka swero kasi kinailangan ng pulis flush out ang drogang pumasok sa katawan niya. 

- H*yop yan… buti nalang may nagligtas sa kanya. 

- Kasalanan ko pa pala na muntik na siyang mapahamak… kung hindi ako nag isip ng masama sa kanya hindi siya mapupunta doon. Hindi ko man lang naisip na nasa panganib na pala siya. 

Salamat nalang sa Diyos may tumulong sa kanya. Sh*t ! Ang g*go ko talaga… ako pa nagalit. Tang nang yan!

The pictures that the devil showed me turns out to be just a photoshopped thing. F*ck! All backfired now… all because I was not thinking right then. All because of that trust issue I have. 

The other parcels are…

*The s****l harassment case she filed and the verdict of the office.

- The devil was only slapped with suspension… reasoning that Alex showed motive to him, the F*ck! This is so unfair. 

- I have to make that Devil pay… ako gagawa ng paraan. Tang na niya, H*yop siya! Makikilala niya ang kademonyohan ko rin. 

*She also sent some Cards for my Graduation… when I passed the Board and a Letter when I left the country.

Dear Andreu Pinakamamahal, 

Goodbye My Love… I hope someday you find it in your heart to listen to what I have to say. 

If not, maybe the reports I’ve sent would appease the anger you have for me. All I wanted was to prove you wrong of all the accusations you threw at me. 

I hope someday, when we cross paths… you can see me as somebody you used to love… or just even knew from the past. 

You know how much I love you, I can’t do that Sh*ts, they accused me of…  that Sh*ts you choose to believe rather than listen to me. But then I understand where that anger came from… You have trust issues, you told me that. 

That's why, I’m letting go now as much as I wanted to hold on to this love I know trusting would always be an issue… including me now.

Goodbye Pinakamamahal... 

I’ll love you til God takes me away.

Always,

Exi

Yeah, Sh*t! that trust issue… 

God, I was so wrong… so f**king wrong thinking about her doing that sh*ts. More than anyone I should be the one who knows her. I should have been more trusting of her.

- If I could just turn back time… but no one can. I have to move on from that awful past and do something for the future ahead of us. I’ll do anything… everything just to make her mine again. Even if she doesn’t want to… I have to try.