As an eleven-year-old child who lost her parents, I’d lie in bed at night for the umpteenth time, sobbing in the darkness as I imagined what life would be like without them. As Joan Didion wrote in one of her books that I’ve read before, “Grief turns out to be a place none of us know until we reach it.” As for me, who experienced it twice, I didn’t know what to feel anymore. It was unknown to me, the feeling. What does it feel like? Not until I experienced loss in life. I lost my parents. Four years ago, I lost my first child.
He didn’t survive. Akala nila malusog ang baby ko pero pagkatapos ng ilang minuto . . . bigla na lang daw hindi na humihinga si Drace. Nang ikuwento sa akin ni Mommy ’yon, iyak siya nang iyak at gano’n din ako. It was a heart defect that took my newborn child’s life
