Dating the Cold-Hearted Mayor

F*ck. Ayon ang unang salitang pumasok sa aking isipan nang magising sa panibagong umaga. I was still sleepy from last night. The after party in celebration for Ishmael and Aryah’s wedding ended late. Gabi pa ang flight ko pabalik ng Manila, so I planned to just rest and sleep the whole day, lalo na’t may night duty pa ako sa hospital. However, I was woken up by the urge to vomit. Dali-dali akong tumakbo papunta sa banyo. Muntik pa akong hindi umabot dahil sa matinding pagsusukang nararamdaman. Pakiramdam ko’y hinahalukay ang sikmura ko at mayroong nagtutulak doon pataas. Sumasakit din ang aking ulo dahil sa puyat. Obviously, I wasn’t in a good condition. Gusto ko na lang makatulog ulit. Parang pagod na pagod pa rin ako at mabigat ang katawan, ngunit hindi ko alam kung makakatulog pa. Even after I emptied my stomach through vomiting, I still had the urge to go for another round. I was keenly monitoring myself in front of the mirror, while feeling my stomach. Gulo-gulo pa ang aking buhok at medyo namamaga ang mata. Halatang kulang na kulang ako sa tulog. Habang binabantayan ang sarili ay nakarinig ako ng katok galing sa labas. I heard Aryah’s faint voice while she was calling my name. Doon ko lamang naalala na wala ako sa aking sariling bahay. I stayed in one of the guest rooms at Casa Arcana. Hindi na ako pinayagang mag-drive pa pauwi nina Aryah kagabi kaya rito na ako nagpalipas ng gabi. Hindi na ako nag-abala pang maghilamos o ayusin man lang ang sarili. Huminga na lamang ako nang malalim at agad na nagtungo sa pintuan. Aryah was still knocking on the door. Nagmadali na akong buksan ‘yon para harapin siya. The fresh newlywed was glowing right in my face. She smelled like she just came straight out from the shower, but her hair was already blowdried. Nakamaayos na pambahay na rin siya — a simple cotton dress you could wear comfortably at home. “Good morning,” mahinahong bati niya sa akin habang nakangiti. “Mabuti naman at gising ka na. Aalis na sana ako para hayaan ka pang matulog.” “Sorry if I took long, uhm, nasa loob kasi ako ng banyo…” sabi ko. Nang maalala ko ang banyo, napalunok ako nang maramdaman ulit ang sarili na parang naduduwal. Mabuti na lang at mukhang hindi naman ‘yon halata ni Aryah. She remained smiling at me, reeking with happiness from getting married to the man she loves, who also happens to be the father of her daughter. Hindi ko maiwasan ang mapangiti. I’m happy to see how her life turned out to be beautiful after experiencing hell. Isa ako sa mga nakakita kung paano siya naghirap. Her first year of having Irisha wasn’t very pleasant. She was very open about that. Wala niyang takot binabalikan ang mga naging pagkukulang niya. But to be honest, I couldn’t blame her for feeling that way. I was well-acquainted with the pain and trauma of losing the person you love. It isn’t just a simple heart break that can heal in a matter of time. Rather than just getting your heart broken, you will also feel like it is stolen from you. It is like the person you gave half of your heart to decided to take the other as well and leave you with nothing. The worst part of that is you don’t even know when it will be returned to you — or if you are still going to get it back eventually. You have no choice but to blindly wait for that time. “Ate Sheryn? Okay ka lang ba?” Natigil ako sa pag-iisip nang muling magsalita si Aryah. Itinagilid niya ang kanyang ulo habang nag-aalalang nakatingin sa akin. “Oo, uhm, medyo masakit lang ulo ko.” Tipid akong ngumiti saka sinapo ang ulo saglit. “Anyway, can I borrow a towel? Even the small one? I just want to freshen up a bit. Uuwi na rin ako para makapag-ayos ng gamit.” “Meron, Ate, pero kain na muna tayong umagahan. Nakahanda na sa hapag. Sabay-sabay na rin tayong bumalik sa Zaragosa dahil mag-aayos din kami ni Ishmael,” sabi niya naman. That was when I remembered that the newlyweds would be flying for a three-day honeymoon to Bali the next day. Maiiwan muna si Irisha kay Professor Quintos habang wala sila. If I only knew about their plan earlier, I would have filed leave for a week and stay with their daughter. Kaya nga lang ay nahuli na ako ay kailangan ko ring gampanan ang trabaho ko. The people whose lives needed to be saved wouldn’t wait for me. I should be the one running towards them. “Hmm… Sige,” nag-aalangan kong sagot. “Maghihilamos lang ako pwede?” “Sure! Kunin ko lang ‘yung extra towel. Balik ako dito agad.” “Thanks.” Pagkaalis ni Aryah ay dumiretso na rin ako sa banyo upang maghilamos. I didn’t have any facial cleanser with me kaya tubig na lang ang ginamit ko. I made sure to wash my face thoroughly, though, para mawala ang medyo pagka-oily ng mukha ko. Nang matapos, naghihintay na sa loob mismo ng kwarto si Aryah. Aside from bringing me a towel, she also prepared a casual dress and undergarments for me. Parang katulad lamang ‘yon ng suot niya. “Ito na ‘yung twalya,” sabi niya. “Kung gusto mo rin magpalit o maligo bago tayo umalis, naghanda na rin ako ng damit.” “Thanks, Aryah. Mamaya na lang ako siguro maliligo pagkatapos kumain,” sabi ko sa kanya habang mabilis na nagsusuklay. I was wearing one of her plain silk pajamas. Terno iyon at maayos ding tingnan. Pinahiram niya rin ‘yon sa akin kagabi para hindi ako matulog ng naka-tight dress. Pagkatapos nang mabilisang pag-aayos, sabay na kaming bumaba patungo sa kusina. Napangiti na ako agad at nabuhayan nang madinig ko ang tawa ni Irisha mula sa loob. I figured she was only with her father until I heard another voice coming from a man which I didn’t expect to be there at the moment. Agad ko namang nakumpirma ang kutob nang tuluyan kaming naglakad papasok. I almost froze when I saw Irwin, my ex-fiancé. Nakaupo siya sa kabisera at mukhang nakikipagbiruan sa pamangkin. However, when he sensed my arrival, he immediately shifted his gaze to me and the smile on his face slightly dimmed. Napalunok ako at agad na nag-iwas ng tingin sa kanya. Tahimik akong sumunod kay Aryah saka naupo sa malayong upuan mula sa kanya. It was a Monday and not a working holiday. Kahit maaga-aga pa ay sigurado ako noong una na nasa munisipyo na siya. I thought I didn’t have to worry about crossing paths with him that day. Hindi ko inakalang siya ang bubungad sa akin pagkapasok ko ng dining room. “Tita Sheryn! Good morning po!” Naagaw ni Irisha ang atensyon ko. Hindi ko namalayang nakalapit na pala siya sa akin agad. A smile flashed across my face. Her cute smile melted my heart. I leaned my body forward to wrap her around my arms. “Good morning, baby girl,” I warmly greeted and kissed her cheek. Irisha giggled at my kisses. I loved how she wouldn’t complain every time I kissed her. Sana nga lang ay hindi siya magbago paglaki niya. I hoped she would remain the sweet girl that she is. “Irisha, halika na dito sa daddy mo,” aya ni Aryah sa kanya pabalik sa upuan niya. “Kumain na tayo. We’ll go home after breakfast.” Bumitiw naman agad sa akin si Irisha para sundin ang mommy niya. She was really an obedient kid. Naupo na siya sa tabi ni Ishmael na pansin kong palipat-lipat ang tingin sa akin saka sa kanyang kapatid. Kunwari na lang ay hindi ko ‘yon pansin at pinasadahan ng tingin ang umagahan. “Aryah, if it’s okay with you, ako na ang maghahatid kay Irisha pabalik sa Zaragosa,” sabi ni Irwin kay Aryah nang makaupo ito sa tabi ko. I swallowed hard when his deep baritone resounded in my ears. “I promised to take her to work today. Magkakaroon ng outreach program para sa mga bata sa plaza and she wants to join me.” “I told Kuya it’s okay with me, pero ikaw pa rin ang huling magdedesisyon,” dagdag ni Ishmael nang lingunin siya ng asawa. Nakangusong tumango-tango si Aryah. “Ayos lang naman, Kuya. Kung hindi makakagulo sa trabaho mo si Irisha.” “Thanks.” I saw Irwin smile warmly. “Hindi naman pormal ang trabaho ko ngayon. And you don’t have to worry about her security. I’ll have my guards watching her.” “Ipapasama ko rin ang mga tauhan ko,” sabi ni Ishmael. Tahimik akong sumandok ng pagkain habang pinag-uusapan nila ang tungkol sa pagsama ni Irisha sa outreach program. I guess that was the reason why Irwin’s not in the office. Ang outreach lang ang trabaho niya para sa araw na ‘yon. Kung minamalas ka nga naman talaga… “Ate Sheryn, when’s your flight to Manila again?” I lifted my gaze up to Ishmael when he called my attention. I quickly wiped my mouth with a table napkin before answering his question. “Tonight,” I simply replied. “Is it possible for you to reschedule your flight tomorrow? Bukas din ang flight namin ni Aryah papuntang Manila bago dumiretso sa Bali,” sabi niya. “We’ll have an intimate dinner with Professor Quintos tonight. It’s her birthday the day after tomorrow. Mamayang gabi lang kami makakapag-celebrate. I’m sure she’ll love to have you join us.” Nakangiti akong umiling kay Ishmael. “Gusto ko man pero may shift ako mamaya sa trabaho. I’m currently in the graveyard shift. Hindi pwedeng hindi ako makabalik,” paliwanag ko. “I can drop by later, though. I’ll greet her before heading to the airport.” I caught Ishmael slightly glancing at Irwin. Nang ibalik ang buong atensyon sa akin ay tumango na lamang siya saka ngumiti. Mabilis kong natapos ang breakfast at kaagad na rin akong bumalik sa guest room para makaligo. Nagtagal nga lang ako sa banyo dahil hindi pa rin ganoon kaganda ang pakiramdam. But since I was eager to leave the mansion of the Alcantaras, I had to force myself to speed up and prepare to go home as planned. After getting ready, I quickly went out of the room with my purse. Lowbat na ang cellphone ko at hindi na ako nakahiram ng charger kagabi kaya inilagay ko na lang ‘yon sa loob ng bag. As soon as I opened the door, I was stunned when I saw Irwin waiting in front. Nakahilig siya sa pader at saka lamang tumayo nang maayos nang makitang nakalabas na ako. How long did he wait here? Nanuyo ang lalamunan ko. Walang salita kong iniwas ang tingin palayo sa kanya. Nagkunwari na lamang akong hindi siya nakita at didiretso na sana pababa sa sala kung saan kami nagdesisyon ni Aryah na maghintayan. “You’re really going home now?” Irwin asked before I could even take a step away. I didn’t want to answer him, but I also didn’t want to be rude. Nasa bahay niya ako kaya naisip kong kailangan ko pa rin siyang pakisamahan kahit papaano. “Obviously,” I simply answered. “Want me to drive you back?” sunod niyang tanong bago pa ako muling makalayo. I sighed heavily. “Hindi na kailangan, Irwin. I brought my car with me,” sagot ko saka siya nilingon. “Besides, you have an outreach to attend with Irisha. I can manage.” “Mamaya pa naman ‘yon. I can drive you first, then go back here in time,” pilit niya. Naningkit ang aking mga mata habang nakatingin sa kanya. I could feel a slight crack in my heart while catching the flashes of hope inside his eyes. Gusto ko man siyang pagbigyan at pati na rin ang aking sarili, ngunit natatakot pa rin ako. Just the thought of being with him again made my hands shake in fear. “I can drive myself, Irwin. Please huwag mo nang ipilit,” malamig kong sabi upang tumigil na siya. Napaawang ang kanyang mga labi. It seemed like he was still looking for reasons to convince me, but before he could say another word, I quickly turned my back on him and ran down the stairs. Wala akong pakialam kung tingin niya’y nagmamadali ako palayo sa kanya dahil ayon naman talaga ang ginagawa ko. He also knew that I had been eager to get away from him ever since that day when he almost lost his life because of me. Hindi naging madali para sa akin ang paglayo sa kanya. It was harder than that time when he broke up with me and canceled our engagement. I had to go through a very traumatic experience just to have that conviction to pack my bags, leave my life in Zaragosa, and start anew in Manila. Kahit nahirapan ako sa pag-adjust at kahit miss na miss ko na siya ay pinigilan ko ang sarili na bumalik. I believed it was for the best, so I endured all the sufferings and embraced the pain. Ngunit nang unti-unti ko nang nahahanap muli ang sarili, he suddenly showed up in my life again and messed up my mind. Irwin would come to Manila frequently for his therapy ever since he got discharged. To be honest, I didn’t mind at all. Gusto kong gawin niya ang lahat ng makakabuti para sa kanya. However, I had one problem. Kung bakit sa dinami-daming ospital sa buong Metro ay talagang sa ospital pa kung saan ako nagtatrabaho niya napiling pumunta. “I’ll miss you, baby girl.” I kissed Irisha on her cheek. She smiled widely and hugged me tightly. Parang akong naiiyak sa hindi malamang dahilan. Ilang buwan na naman siguro ang bibilangin ko o baka umabot pa ng taon bago ulit kami magkita. I was very close to her, especially when I was still living in Zaragosa. Lagi ko siyang binibisita sa free time ko. Every time I would stare at her, she would remind me of a love I lost and that would fill me with contentment. Pero syempre ay dati lang ‘yon. I believed I had already changed into a person that I ought to be. Nagpaalam na rin ako kina Aryah at Ishmael dahil kahit na sabay kami pauwi, magkaiba kami ng sasakyan. They also hugged and kissed their daughter before hopping inside their SUV. Sa gitna ng lahat nang ‘yon ay nakatanaw lamang sa balkonahe si Irwin. Hindi na ako nagpaalam sa kanya. I acted like I didn’t see him watching us. Dire-diretso na rin ang pagsakay ko sa sasakyan. When Ishmael's SUV started moving out of Casa Arcana, agad din akong sumunod. “Finally…” bulong ko sa sarili at napabuntonghininga nang makalayo na sa kanya. I relaxed and leaned on the back rest. My muscles also stopped feeling tense. To feel better, I thought maybe some music would help. I wanted to use the radio at first, but songs being randomly played weren’t usually my cup of tea. Kaya naman binagalan ko ang takbo ng aking sasakyan habang hinahanap ang charger cord ng cellphone sa glove box. Habang naghahanap ay pirming nakatingin sa daan ang aking mga mata. Gamit ko lamang ang kamay ko sa paghahanap ng cord. While rummaging through my things, though, napakunot ang aking noo nang may makapang iba. I quickly glanced at it, and my heart hammered hard against my chest at the same time I stepped on the break abruptly. I was thankful that no car was moving closely behind me. Kung hindi ay disgrasya ang aabutin ko dahil sa paghinto. I licked my lower lip and decided to pull the car over on the side of the road. Pinindot ko rin ang hazard button bago kinuha ang isang buong pack ng napkin na nakatago roon. “No…” Napailing ako at hinagis sa passenger seat ang napkin. Mabilis ko ring hinanap sa glove box ang cord. My hands were shaking as I inserted the cord in my car’s charging port before connecting it to my phone. I was very anxious. Kagat-kagat ko ang aking ibabang labi nang mariin habang hinihintay na bumukas ang cellphone. It took almost three minutes for my drained phone to turn on. Agad akong nagtungo sa kalendaryo. I tracked my period last month and counted days. Isinama ko na rin ang araw kung kailang may nangyari sa amin ni Irwin noong bumisita siya sa Manila para sa therapy. We both lost our control that night, and everything just suddenly came back to me. I remembered bringing a pack of napkins with me, just in case my period would come. Pati kahapon sa kasal ay nagdala rin ako para handa. It was only after I counted the days that I realized I was already delayed for a week. And to think that I woke up to vomit that morning… Umiling-iling ako. Bumilis ang t***k ng puso ko at halos tumalon iyon nang makadinig ako ng biglang pagbusina sa labas. My head snapped to the window. Nagulat ako nang makitang nandoon sina Aryah at Ishmael. Nauna sila kanina at mukhang bumalik pa talaga para sa akin. I heaved a deep breath. Mariin ko ring ipinikit ang mga mata bago nagsumikap ngumiti at binuksan ang bintana. They were also inside their car with the windows rolled down. Nakasilip silang pareho sa akin at mukhang nag-aalala. “Ayos ka lang, Ate Sheryn?” tanong ni Aryah. Medyo maliit ang kanyang boses dahil sa layo sa akin. “Of course!” I forced a chuckle. “May naalala lang ako. You two can go ahead. I’ll take a detour. May kailangan akong puntahan sa bayan.” Ngumuso si Aryah, hindi kumbinsido sa sagot ko. Ganoon din naman si Ishmael na parang naghahanap ng kung ano’ng mali sa akin. “Are you sure, Ate Sheryn?” Ishmael was the one who asked. “We can come with you if you want. Para sabay-sabay na tayo. We’re in a convoy anyway.” Mabilis akong umiling. “Huwag na. Baka matagalan ako dahil may kikitain akong kaibigan sa ospital. She’s a doctor. I wanna discuss something with her in person about work,” sabi ko. “I just saw her message sa phone ko, reminding me of our meet up.” Because of my flawless reasoning, they didn’t seem to doubt me as much as before. Medyo umaliwalas na rin ang kanilang suot na ekspresyon. “Okay, so… mauuna na kami?” nag-aalangang sabi ni Ishmael. “Sure!” I smiled brightly, then looked straight at Aryah. “I’ll text you once I’m home.” Aryah finally smiled from the assurance I gave her. Muli kaming nagpaalam sa isa’t isa bago sila naunang umalis ni Ishmael pabalik ng Zaragosa, and I heavily sighed in relief after they let me be. Akala ko ay mahihirapan pa ako bago sila makumbinsi. Kaya nga lang ay hindi rin nagtagal ang ginhawang naramdaman ko nang maalala ko ang problema. I licked my lips and decided to send a text message to my friend. Hindi naman ako talagang nagsinungaling sa kanila dahil pupuntahan ko talaga ang kaibigan na nagtatrabaho sa ospital dito sa Santa Catalina. She is an obstetrician. I knew I could just take a pregnancy test using a drugstore kit, but I wanted to make sure with the result. Makakasigurado lamang ako kung magpapatingin ako sa propesyonal. I just hope that I’m not pregnant and I’m just overthinking things. Because if I am, I honestly don’t know what to do.