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Slaved 2

It's already 7 o'clock in the evening nang magising ako. I'm almost ten minutes awake but still mas pinili kong hindi na bumangon muna. Pinilit kong huwag alalahanin yung mga nangyari sa araw na ito dahil sumasakit lang yung ulo ko pero hindi ko talaga magawa. From the moment, I'd disvovered na may iba na pala siyang pamilya and when I'd discovered that may anak pala siya sa ibang lalaki, naiinis akong maalala yun. Kung gaano siya kasaya sa piling ng bago niyang pamilya, kung gaano niya kamahal yung anak niya sa iba.

Paiba-iba lang ako ng posisyon sa kama ko but it I still felt the same. Hindi pa rin mawala sa sarili yung pagkainis ko. Niinis akong masaya siya samantalang ako yung nagdurusa sa pagkawala niya.

I tried to check on my phone. 109 missed calls and 45 messages was written in the screen. And when I scanned, nakita ko yung pangalan ng mga friends ko. Maybe they are clueless kung san nga ba ako. Hindi ko rin naman kasi sila sinabihan na uuwi ako dito sa Pilipinas. All they knew was I am on my vacation. Mukhang nasa party ata yung mga yun. And then an idea had popped into my mind.

Marami rin naman sigurong bar dito right? What if, I just enjoy myself instead na alalahanin ko yung babaeng nagluwal sa akin. Without hesitation later ay madali lang akong nakatayo at agad na hinalungkat yung wardrobe ko. Great! Nakita ko agad yung favorite dress ko. I just wear a black short na pinaresan ko lang ng tank tops sa itaas na kulay puti. I looked at the mirror then smiled when I saw my whole reflection. I had accepted it a long time ago that I am a good girl plus note the sarcasm.

When I had everything I need, I got out from my room already then headed downstairs. Hindi pa lang ako nakababa ay agad na akong sinalubong ng batang babae at niyakap ako sa bewang ko.

"Ate where are you going?" I grimaced with the word ate. I didn't hate the child I just find it something I couldn't explain towards her. Maybe I was just jealous for the fact that I had already a rivalry in the attention. All my life, nasanay akong ako lang mag-isa, walang kaagaw sa atensyon at pagmamahal. I was one and only but not when she'd came in the picture.

"I just want to go somewhere." I finally na parang tanggap ko na talagang may kapatid ako sa iba. I couldn't change the fact so I must accept it even if that's what I hated the most. After all wala naman siyang kasalanan kaya nararapat lamang na hindi ko siya pagbuntungan ng galit. It's all mom's fault. Kagagawan niya ang lahat ng ito kung bakit ako nagkakaganito.

"I want to go rin." Nagtatalon sa tuwa na sabi niya. How I wish, I could go back from the time where my only problem is how to open a candy wrapper like hers.

"Children are not allowed their." I stated as if I'm her mom and she was my child.

"I'm not a child anymore. Look at me, I'm grown into a young lady now." Sabi pa niya tsaka umikot ng ilang beses. Mukha siyang little fairy ngayon dahil sa sout niyang kulay pink na dress. I laugh at what she had said, I said the same thing to dad everytime he says that he'll go to somewhere where children aren't allowed.

"Yes you are but young lady aren't allowed as well." Naging malungkot yung mukha niya saka niyakap naman ako. I carressed her curly hairs.

"You and kuya said the same thing kanina." I was struck by her words. Did she just says Kuya? So? Hindi lang pala instant sister ang meron ako? Even instant brother I do have too. Great! Masyadong mapagbigay si tadhana. She gave me too much to treasure and well take note the sarcasm.

"So? You have ku--" I was cut off when mom enter into the picture out of the blue moon.

"Where are you going Vain?" She ask in her usual tone. The way she speak in this little kid a while ago.

"I just want to roam around and for myself to be welcomed by the new environment. Gusto ko lang mamasyal." She didn't spoke.

"I have to go." I said as I bid my goodbye to them. I am on the exit door when I heard her said something for me to stop from walking away.

"Masyadong delikado dahil gabi na Vain." She said as if she'd care for me for twenty years of my existense. She really acts like a mother to me right as if she was an ideal mother, as if she became a really good mother towards me when in fact that she wasn't even once she haven't. Kung makapagsalita naman siya akala mo hindi nawala ng ilang taon.

"Mom, all my life nasanay akong mag-isa kaya don't worry kaya ko ang sarili ko. I was already grown up for pete's sake. I'm twenty five already, I became independent having you out of my life. And well thank you dahil kung hindi sayo, kung hindi mo kami iniwan ni dad, hindi ako natutong maging indepedent. Goodbye." When I walked away, I know she was about to burst out from tears. Tumalikod na ako dahil ayoko lang makakita ng mga nagda-dramahang tao sa harapan ko. Masyado nang madrama yung buhay ko para dagdagan pa nila yung mga eksena. I have already enough with those f*****g drama.

When I was finally out, ilang minuto pa ang hinintay ko para makasakay ng taxi. "Manong sa pinakamalapit lang pong bar." I said when I finally jumped on my seat. Fifteen minutes later, sa wakas ay nakarating rin ako sa isa sa mga pinakasikat na bar dito.

I am just curious kung bakit niya ako gustong pauwiin dito sa Pinas where in fact ay may pamilya naman siyang dapat ay pagbalingan ng atensyon. Ano bang magiging papel ko dito? Did she just wanted me to witnessed how happy she is together with her new family? Or baka gusto niya lang bumawi sa mga panahong nasayang nung wala siya. I laughed at my words... bumawi? Isang katangahan ang salitang yan. Hindi na niya mapupunan pa ang mga sandaling sinayang niya, hindi na niya kayang bumawi sa mahigit dalawampung taong nawala siya. Kahit ano pang gawin niya, wala na siyang magagawa upang itama yung mali niya, para punan ang pagkukulang niya. She was not my mother, she's just the woman who gave birth to me, yun lang.