Embrace Me Once Again

CHAPTER 12

Chapter 12

I DELETED MY f*******: APP

 Buong gabi ay hindi ako pinatulog ng isiping 'nagseselos' siya.saan siya magseselos?sa papel na hindi ko akalaing mapeperfect ko kahit wala naman akong kasagot sagot ni isa?kung tutuusin napakababaw lamang no'n.but that's also what I want to is why is he jealous?what makes him jealous?,he's really damn confusing me.  

One more thing that doesn’t make me sleep is that photo of him and Zairen.it was posted again in i********: with caption.' miss him:<' 3 slides siya, the first one is their photo holding hands,then their photo looking at each other then the last one is their photo hugging each other.gabi ang kuha so I assume that they are out.  

I called Lucas that time while looking at their photo,he answered my call after three rings.i bet they are to busy because that's the only time to each other.damn him! Sasabihi-sabihin niyang nagseselos siya tapos kasama niya naman pala si Zairen ? Tangina mo Lucas! "where are you?" I asked.it takes second before he answer me.maybe he was asking Zairen a permission.tsk tangina niya! Tangina! Tangina talaga! Why cant he just answer me na 'kasama ko si Zairen,nasa date kami. 'wag kana umasa sa'kin kasi hindi kita gusto' 

"House why?just got home from work"saad niya.i felt my chest tighened a bit. He lied! He f*****g lied!i held myself together and sighed a bit.ngumiti ako at pinanatili na hindi mabasag ang boses ko. "o..okay. Rest Lucas." I said.i felt my voice cracked and I can feel my eyes became watery so I end the call immediately.he lied to me. Yea right,wala naman akong pinanghahawakan sa kanya,bakit ako hihiling na maging totoo siya sa'kin? I sighed but I can't lie,I know that there's a hope on me,na sana,sana ako nalang.

So,dahil wala akong tulog,here I am. One word. 'lutang'.i am staring blankly on my mirror.kanina pa ako gising tapos narin ako maligo.wala pa akong kaayos ayos.hindi ko alam pero kanina pa ako walang gana na pumasok.dahil sa nakita ko? Pwede. I sighed then start putting some concealer under my eyebags and swollen eyes.yes I cried up all night until I fell asleep.i just stared on their photo until jealousy eat me.damn! I am so stupid right? Call me stupid or what,I love him!.  

"Angella honey… arent't you done yet?" I heard my mom asked.i rolled my eyes then blowed dry my hair. Isa pa 'to. Mas ggugustuhin ko pa 'yong tahimik kong buhay dati.wala kaming pansinan na dalawa.kung meron man sigawan lamang at bantaan.ngayon,she's acting so fuckin strange.may nakain ba siyang masama kaya siya biglaang ganyan?tsk.  

I saw her behind me,she get my blower and smiled me. I look at her with my strange look,As she holds the tip of my hair,I felt like I have a goosebumps.what's wrong in the earth is happening people?!why she became like that? Why is people acting so strange?! Damn. I didn’t uttered a word. I just look at her with disbelief on my face. 

"Do you miss your dad?"she suddenly asked me. I gave her my mocking smile.who wouldn’t miss him? When he's gone.everything change.the bond between our family fades. I left alone and no one dares to be with me even on my darkest days.  

Angela honey,you know that your dad loves you right?" she said as if assuring me.i laughed at her.she stop combing my hair and looked at me through the mirror..of course my dad loves me more than she do. "of course, I know my dad loves me.i'm her only princess.i'm the only princess on his world.my dad loves me and he's willing to do anything for me,unlike you.unlike you who’s always spending so much time on work. Unlike who can't always be with me.unlike you who keeps on ruining anything that can makes me happy,yes mom I love dad." I said mocking her. 

She smiled at me and caressed my hair.she put a kiss on my head.i'm just looking at her while she's doing that.she looks sad,she looks hurt on my word but I don’t care! I'm just telling the truth.whatever her reason is I hate her.she's only doing that for herself. "maybe once you found out the truth,you'll understand me honey,and I'm sure you'll thank me when that day comes" she said and left my room.i gritted my teeth as I looked blankly on my mirror.how dare her say that someday I will understand her! Why can't she jusy the truth? Bakit pa kailangang maglihim? 

NANG makabawi sa usapan namin ng reyna sa bahay ay agad akong nagayos ng sarili ko,itinali ko ito sa tirintas na paikot tapos nagiwan ako ng ilang strands ng buhok para maibagay ito,naglagay rinn ako ng light makeup para maitago ang pamamaga rin ng ilalim ng mata ko.pagbaba ko ng room ay agad akong nakakuha ng mga papuri sa mga katulong sa bahay namin.binigyan ko lang ang mga ito ng hilaw na ngiti na madalas ko namang gamitin kapag nasa ilalim ako ng pamamahay namin. If you don’t want to get deceived by those people,don’t show them any kindness or weakness,they might use it to you,you wont like the consquence if you get attach to them,pain.  

Hindi ko ba alam kung matutuwa ba ako o hindi sa mga matang nakatingin sa'kin ng makapasok ako sa school namin.Oo,sanay na ako sa ganitong senaryo dahil ganto rin ang nakukuha ko tuwing kasama ko sila Zach Lucas at Caless.pero hindi gaya ngayon,dumoble ata.  

I just rolled my eyes on them and keep walking til I reach my own building,gaya ng mga nadaraanan ko ay nakatingin lamang ang mga ito sa'kin tapos biglang bubungisngis.what's wrong with them? They are being so weird and weird. Ano bang nangyayari talaga?! Nang makapasok sa room ay agad sumalubong sa'kin si Caless ng may malaking ngisi. "so, the Queen has already arrived already huh?"may pangaasar sa tono nito.hindi ko'to sinagot sa halip ay dumiretso na lamang ako sa mismong upuan ko.naroon na si Lucas na mukhang tulog na naman.  "have you already received the news?"tanong nito anong balita?may world war na naman?sumabog na bulkan?sila na ni Zach? Oh agawan sa philippine sea? Tinignan ko lamang ito gamit ang nalilitong tingin at hindi interesado na mata.umirap namaan ito sa'kin dahil mukhang alam niya na ang sagot ko

Nadako ang mata ko sa tatlong babae na kakapasok lamang ng room namin.Ang grupo nila Zairen.Kung dati ay sasalubungin ako ng ngiti ni Klara at Ella,ngayon ay inirapan ako ng mga 'to,samantalang si Zairen ay may namumugtong mga mata.what happened to her? 

"Zairen "must be received the news"saad din ni Caless na nakatanaw rin sa kanila.tinignan ko ito ng nagtataka. Anong news ba kasi? Kanina pa siya news ng news,eh wala naman akong nababalitaan na may sumabog na bulkan,agawan ng teritoryo o di kaya a world war. Puro drugs lang naman kasi ngayon ang lamang balita.  

"What news?"tanong ko rito.  

"Did you already opened your f*******: Account?How about our underground site? The school app? Did you open?do you often go to our site?"sunod na sunod na tanong nito.napalabi naman ako sa tanong nito.i don’t go to the sites that she said,the truth Is I'm not familiar with them.  

"I don’t have f*******:,the other things that you said is I'm not familiar"saad ko rito't ngumuso.hindi makapaniwala sa'kin si Caless.nakanguso lamang ako rito habang pinipigilan na matawa. "a..ano?!! Wala kang f*******:?" tanong nito.nagkibit balikat naman ako rito. I have f*******: before,it just that I deleted it because I get pissed.akala ko kasi si Lucas na eh,yun pala mention lang.worst magpapalike pa ng project,kaasar! 

"I deleted my f*******: because I get pissed" parang wala lang na saad ko rito.hindi makapaniwala na tumawa ito sa'kin at inilabas na lamang ang cellphone niya't binuksan ang school app namin.nakatingin lamang ako rito habang may mga pinagpipindot ito.maya maya lang ay iniabot nito sa'kin ang cellphone niya. "read that article"saad lamang nito sa'kin at tumingin sa'kin habang sumimsim ito sa delight na hawak niya.tinignan ko ang cellphone niya at halos masamid ako sa nabasa kong title ng article.fuck! Who spread this fuckin news? Kaya ba halos pinagtitinginan ako ng mga nakakasalubong ko sa labas? Kaya ba pulang pula ang mata niya? Kaya ba masama ang tingin sa'kin nila Klara at Ella? 

'Lucas Kiyoshiro Grey and Angela Koleen Perez is currently Dating?' 

A. We all know that Ms. Angela is daughter of our one stockerholder here in our University,Claret perez.She's also one of those gorgeous and stunning student here in our school.she's also one of those people who's running for the c*m laude.  

B. She's also the Current Queen in our Univerity.4 consecutive times She won the Crown as the face of our univerity.she studied in states when she was grade 7 and 8.hmm,I wonder if she didn’t study on states,is she going to be our Queen? 

C. She's also good in singing and in the field of drawing,no doubt,her father is one of the famous architect on the country.'I heard her once singing alone in music room,I must she's really a good singer'says by someone.  

Mabilis na iniscroll kona ang article dahil ilang letra pa ang aabutin bago ako makarating sa mismong patunay nila na nagdedate'kami.pagdating sa baba ay mga pictures na kinuhaan,mga stolen shots ang lahat ng 'yon. ' here are some photos that we can use as evidence that they are dating,the one thing that I really can say is they are so cute.they are so perfect together,look at how Kiyo look on Angela.he looks like he was so inlove to an Angel,He looks like she's the only one girl on his life..'  

Halos masamid ako ng mabasa ang salitang 'Angel' no b***h I am devil,there's a monter inside me trhat is peacefully sleeping. 'yung picture na kinuha ay nong nasa field kami,yung mga oras na,tinatanong niya ako, na bakit hindi ako? Bakit nga ba hindi ako Lucas? 'this one is quite my favorite,look how Lucas smiled at her,the cute thing is Angela can't look straight into his eyes,they are so cute.look how kiyo leaned so their eyes will glanced to each other,hmm.and look how Lucas look at Angela's lips. Tensed huh? Too much PDA!! 

Halos matawa ako sa mga nakalagay sa article,halos lahat ng sinasabi nila ay puro fiction,walang katotothanan! Lahat peke dahil ang mga 'yon ay tanging kabaliktaran lamang,pero dahil magaling kumuha sa amin ng litrato.nagmukha siyang romantic tignan. I should know the one behind this so I can atleast thank her. "too much PDA huh?"nasabi ko na lamang at pinatay ang Cellphone.binigay ko ito kay Caless na nakangisi na lamang sa'kin.inabot nito ang cellphone saa'kin at tinignan bago pinatay at nakangisi na bumaling sa'kin. "tinapos mo?"tanong nito.umiling ako rito at akma na isusuot na lamang sana ang earphone ko ng batukan ako nito.nakakailan na siya!! 

"Bakit hindi mo tinapos?!! May tea sa hulihan no'n!!"saad nito sa'kin. Nagkibit balikat na lamang ako rito.nilabas nito ang Cellphone nya at muling binuksan ang School app.nang makailang scroll ito ay iniharap nito sa'kin ang Cellphone niya. 

Nasa comment section ito,mga ilang papuri at mga comments lamang ang mga ito.pero nakaagaw sa'kin ay isang comments na may nakalagay na picture ni Zairen at Lucas kung saan kuha rin noong open field namin.i know that photo because I'm also there.alam ko yung oras na 'yon dahil nanonood ako no'n sa kanila.  

"So if they're dating does it mean that Zairen is third wheeling?hmm' 

"Wild…'..  

'gandang third party naman niyan' 

 'uso pa pala ang kumabit ngayon?' 

'Angela is not really into social media so I understand her not posting some photos with Lucas,so if Zairen Is thirdwheeling does it mean that Lucas is the boy that she's with on the i********:?' 

 ' be my hoe?'  

Nanginginig na binalik ko kay Caless ang cellphone niya,tinignan ko ang katabi ko na tulog parin hanggang ngayon.last last last months ay tahimik lamang ang buhay ko,sanay na ako mag isa,walang kasama. Hindi ako takot mag isa,ang nakakatakot ay ang pakiramdam na mag isa.  

Pero nagsimula siya na maging magulo simula ng makilala ko sila,nagsimula na akong tumawa't ngumiti muli.kaya kung kaakibat nitong desisyon na gagawin ko ay ang makasakit ng damdamin ng tao.be it,atleast have him with me.i'm fine.  

"they're accusing her third party,intruder and slut"saad ni Caless habang nakatingin sa pwesto nila Zairen. Yes,lumipat na ng upuan si Zairen which is sa tabi ni Klara at Ella.i look at their side and saw that they're comforting her.i suddenly felt mercy on her. "that’s not my concern anymore Caless,let people think what they think."saad ko rito at ngumisi sa kanya.tumango naman ito sa'kin at nagpaalam na mag ccr nalang muna siya.hinayaan ko naman ito at bumaling sa katabi ko na mahimbing parin ang tulog.napaka peaceful ng mukha nito at mukhang anghel kapag tulog.  "you are the only one I have..i won't let anyone take you away from me Lucas…"bulong ko at pinagapang ang kamay ko sa buhok niya. Gumalaw ito kaya akala ko 'y gising na 'to.pinanatili ko lamang ang paglalaro sa buhok nito habang nakatitig sa mukha niya. 

"Lucas…tell me how…how can I have you Lucas?" tanong ko rito. Never in my entire life I beg someone just to love me back.ngayon lang talaga.i am Koleen,I am born to be brave,I am born to survive not to surrender. I am the queen,the queen get what she wants. "you know,all my life I'm asking myself,why is everyone willing to sacrifice everything just for love?.now I think I got my answer now.they're willing to sacfrice because its love.if you are inlove you are willing to do anything iven if it means hurting someone.if you are inlove you are,you are not thinking anyone only but yourself,if you are inlove,you are blinded."saad ko rito.pasimpleng pinunasan ko ang luhang tumulo sa mata ko.  

'if you are willing to be used by her,then I'm willing to be used by you,let's hurt each other baby…  

-----

Thank you po for reading my story