Lovesick

Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

RIEUKA

     “The two of you, Ar. Collin.” Tinuro ako ni Tito Fidel. “… and you Ar. Auclair.” Si Akira naman ang tinuro niya. “Will be the co-architects of this project.” 

    Nagpintig ang tenga ko sa narinig ko. “But Tito, I’m already the one handling the project at Makati,” reklamo ko.

    Hinawakan ako ni Tito Fidel sa balikat. “I know iha, which was the reason why I searched for an architect who can match your experience.”

    “But—“

    “No buts iha. Don’t worry Ar. Auclair has learned a lot of things for the past years.” Nginitian niya ako, wala na akong nagawa kundi ang maupo na lamang sa upuang nakahanda para sa akin.

    Buong meeting ay nakatulala lamang ako. Puro tango lang ang sagot ko, and I felt like something was not fitting the puzzle, which was why I couldn’t do this project.  

    “Aray,” sigaw ko nang tumama ako sa isa sa mga pader ng bulding. I looked at the wall angrily. “Shit.” Sinipa ko ito sa sobrang inis ko.

    Alam kong wala ako sa posisyon para magalit, pero alam ko ring may karapatan naman akong umangal sa gusto ni Tito Fidel kung gugustuhin ko. But I just can’t…I just can’t disappoint him in the second time around.

    Disappointing him a few years ago was one of the things that I regret the most while I was contemplating in the United States.

    If only I didn’t let my emotions get the best of me. I might just stand there with no regrets, no guilt, and no pain, just simply an emotionless human being.

    Sad to say, that was impossible because I’m also a human. A human being that can feel a rollercoaster of emotions until I’m alive and breathing.

    Kung siguro ay ganoon nga ang sitwasyon, malamang hindi ako magdadalawang isip na umangal. Ang kaso … hindi.

    I’m not in the position to complain because I’m the root of all the things that happened in my life.  

    Sumimangot lalo ako nang makita kong umaalog ang balikat niya.”Sige tawa pa Damien. Why don’t you go inside, para malaman mo,” sabi ko bago ko siya tinalikuran.

    Dumiretso ako sa coffee shop sa baba para makapag-relax. Coffee has been my mood booster this past few years. I couldn’t last a day without having a cup of coffee, my boost of energy.

    I was still waiting for my order when Damien sat on the chair in front of me.

    Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay. “How did you know that I’m here?”

    Nginitian niya ako ng nakakaloko. “Have you forgot, Zy? I’m the one who knew you the most,” sabi niya habang tinataas-taas niya ang kilay sa akin na para bang proud na proud siya sa sarili niya.

    “Whatever, Damn creature.” I rolled my eyes. “What did you say to Tito Fidel in the meeting room?” tanong ko sa kaniya habang hinihintay kong mag-vibrate ang numero ng order ko.

    “I didn’t say anything. When Dad told me that I would be with you in the project, I just gladly accepted it,” sabi niya at nagkibit balikat.

    “Seriously? Didn’t even bother yourself to at least know what the project is?”

    “Zy, why would I even bother ask about it if you’re with me on the whole project.” Lalo akong napasimangot dahil sa sinabi niya.

    Sa inis ko ay hindi ko na lang siya pinansin at tumingin na lamang ako sa labas ng shop.

    Why would he even bother to know about the project, right? He was not like me that was running away from something. I was running away from something that wrecked the old me.

    Napahinga na lamang ako ng malalim sa sobrang bigat ng dibdib ko.

    Napatingin ako sa pager nang tumunog at mag-vibrate na ito. I was about to stand up not until Damien got my pager and go to the counter.

    Nagkibit balikat na lamang ako at nagbalik na ulit sa paglipad ang utak ko.

    “Damien!” sigaw ko nang makita kong iniinom niya ang order kong iced coffee. “That’s mine. Go get yourself another one.” Sinimangutan ko siya.

    “It’s just a zip Zy. It won’t kill you,” sabi nito habang iniaabot sa akin ang order ko.

    I didn’t even bother to say thank you because of his annoying face. He kept smiling as if he was enjoying irritating me.

    “At least use some of your hard-earned money to buy yourself a drink,” sarkastiko kong sabi.

    “I don’t have any money with me, Zy.”

    “Seriously, do you think that will still work on me?” Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay.

    He inserted his hands on both of his pockets and turned it inside out. “Look, I’m serious.” Inirapan ko na lamang siya at hindi na nakipagtalo pa.

    Umupo na siya ulit sa upuan sa tapat ko. Pagkaupong pagkaupo niya ay kinuha niya agad ang inumin ko at humigop muli dito. Sinundan ko lang siya ng masamang tingin hanggang sa ibalik niya sa akin ang inumin ko.

     “Come on, Zy. I left all my things in your office. I don’t have any money with me,” he pleaded again.

    “Where? In my office? At ano namang ginagawa ng mga gamit mo doon?” Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay.

    “Since we will b0e on a new project together, I decided to share an office with you,” paliwanag niya sa akin na para bang napakaganda ng ideyang naisip niya.

    “Wow, in my office?” I said while emphasizing the word my. “And you already decided?”

    “Yup.”

    Sinamaan ko siya nang tingin. “Without my opinion?” I raised my eyebrow.

    “Yup, without your opinion,” he said while smiling with his ears.

    “Damien!” sabi ko at pinitik ko ang noo niya ng malakas.

    “Aww, Zy. Relax,” sabi niya habang hawak-hawak ang dalawang kamay ko para hindi ko siya mapitik muli sa noo.

    “I just think that it will be more convenient for the two of us.”

    “How can you say that it’s for the both of us if you didn’t even ask me?”

    Inismiran niya ako. “Come on, Zy. We have been living together for years. Why would I think that sharing an office will bother you? And besides we already shared more than that before—Aww!” sigaw niya nang sipain ko ang paa niya na nasa ilalim ng lamesa.

    “Don’t put it like that, Damien, or else other people might misunderstand you,” sabi ko sa nagbabantang boses.

    This brute has no mouth filter. If only filters can be bought, I might slap him thousands of it by now.

    “What’s wrong with stating the facts—Aww,” sigaw niya nang sinipa ko ulit siya sa paa, but this time it’s his other feet.

    “Whatever, Damien,” sabi ko at binawi ko na ang kamay kong kanina pa niya hawak hawak.

    Napailing iling na lamang ako sa inis. I couldn’t even imagine how this man managed to think of his space in my office.  Without even bothering to know what was the project was all about.

    “Did you even ask your Dad for a project briefing?”

    Umiling siya. “The first thing that he said when I came to the conference room was that I’ll be with you on the project, so I didn’t even hesitate to accept it,” he said frankly.

    Napa-face palm na lang ako sa kaniya. Too much ignorance in a single person named Damien.

    Hindi kami parehong nagsasalita. I don’t know how to start or even tell him why I hesitated to continue this project.

    “Is it about Akira?” tanong niya sa akin habang seryosong seryoso ang mukha niya.

    Tanging tango lamang ang nasagot ko sa kaniya. I don’t know how to explain why I don’t want to be on the same project with my closest friend.

    Well, correction, the closest friend that I had before I ruined everything.

    “What’s the problem with her, Zy? She told me that it was fine with her,” sabi niya bago abutin ang kamay ko. “Is there anything bothering you about her?” Nakatitig siya sa mga mata ko at parang hinihintay niya kung ano ang magiging reaksyon ko.

    “It’s just nothing.” I gave him a fake smile. “I mean, we didn’t communicate at all for years, so I’ve felt a little bit of awkwardness between the two of us.” I’m not yet ready to say everything to him. Not yet, I think I still need a little bit of time and courage, to tell the truth to him.

    Titig na titig siya sa akin na para bang hinihintay niya kung ano ang susunod kong sasabihin.

    “Really, Damien. It’s just nothing.” I faked a laugh.

    Stupid me huh. Isang tao na nga lang ang nakakaintindi sa akin hindi ko pa kayang maging totoo sa kaniya.

    “If it’s okay, then shall we go back to your office then?” sabi niya sa akin habang nakangiti. “We need to finish our workload cause tomorrow we will add another project to that workload.”

    Tinanguan ko siya bago ako tumayo mula sa pagkakaupo ko. I smiled at Damien when he guided me until we reached my office.

    Nagpaalam siya sa akin bago siya umalis ng office ko. At ako naman ay naiwang tulala habang nakaupo sa swivel chair ko.

    Hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko bukas. I would probably need to take a lot of calming pills to properly assess the project without the emotional baggage that I’m carrying for years.