When The Rain Stops

Chapter 34

Chapter 34

Kinaumagahan ay bumyahe ako pauwi sa amin, hindi na ako nag-drive dahil baka mawala ang isip ko sa daan at baka sumunod ako agad kay Mommy, hindi rin ako sumabay sa tatay ko. Tinawagan ko na lamang ang aming sdviser at pinaalam ang nangyari, naging considerate naman ito at ipapaalam nalangniya daw ito sa iba pa naming Instructors para aware sila sa aking pagkawala ng ilang araw. Hahabol na lamang ako sa discussions at activities, kaya I asked Hannah to send me the lessons that I will be missing. Vince insisted to come with me since pupunta rin sa bahay ang Mommy niya pero sinabi ko nalang sa kanya na okay lang at alam ko namang may klase rin ito at ayaw ko naman siyang mag-absent lalo na at huling year na niya sa kolehiyo. Then he’ll be an Engineer.

Before I left, Archer talked to me. I’m not that mad at him… well they say, you can’t stay mad for long to the person you love.

Love…

He said that he is sorry about what happened to Mom, and he is sorry for what Karylle did that night for letting her, and he is sorry because he did not know that I was drowning.

Yeah. F--k you Archer.

I told him that we will settle things when I get back. He insisted to accompany me during the wake and funeral but like Vince, I told him to just stay and focus on his studies. He’s a candidate for Summa c*m laude, I don’t want him to mess that up.

Yup. He’s pretty smart. But a dumbass when it comes to love and feelings.

I left Azlan in his care.

I arrived at home and was greeted by Fury. I missed her. But even if I want to take her with me, I can’t. Dogs need a lot of attention and care, and I can’t do it with my studies.

Tita Martha arrived here during lunch, she will be staying with us until the burial. Sa kanya narin ako sasabay pabalik sa Bellaron. I showed her the room where she’ll be staying and she immediately went to bed, I know she’s tired. Dad is around, but I did not bother talking to him, I have no reason to do so.

Nang hapunan ay sabay-sabay kaming lahat na kumain kasama rin si Manang Selya ang namamahala rito sa sa bahay I refuse to call her kasambahay or what ‘cause she’s like a grandmother to me already since my grandparents are all gone now, I wasn’t able to meet them. Narito rin si Tita Hilary ang kapatid ni Mama, she will take over the management of the bakeshop and the café for now, but it is still under my name, Mom transferred the ownership to me months ago. Mabait at magaling si Tita Hilary pati narin ang mga anak nito kaya malaki ang tiwala ko na kaya niyang isabay ang negosyo namin sa negosyo nila.

Habang nasa hapag ay napagdesisyonan rin namin na huwag nalang patagalin ang burol ni mommy, ayaw ko rin naman dahil malulungkot lang kaming lahat at mapapatagal ang pagbalik ko sa school, I need to go back immediately to achieve my dreams and make my Mommy more proud of me.

Since my Dad is staying with her mistress and I am away We will leave the care of the house to Manang Selya at anak nito na si Sarah na mas matanda lamang ng ilang taon kaysa kila Vince, dito na kasi sila tumira dahil tumutulong rin naman si Sarah sa mga gawain dito. Hindi ko rin naman gugustuhin na iuwi ng tatay ko ang pamilya niya dito no. Kahit na alam kong mahihirapan ako ay nagpasya nalang ako na kunin si Fury para may kalaro si Azlan, iiwan ko nalang din siya sa shelter pag pupunta ako sa school.

Matapos kaming kumain at mag usap-usap ay pumasok na kami sa aming sariling silid. Bukas ko pa makikita si Mom dahil nasa funerary pa raw ito. Binuksan ko ang cabinet kung nasaan ang mga litrato ko noong ako’y bata, binuklat ko ang mga iyon at pinagmasdan. Ang saya ni Mom, abot tenga ang kanyang mga ngiti habang hawak ako sa kanyang mga braso at sa ibang litarato ay nakaupo ako sa kanyang kandungan. Nagsimula na namang tumulo ang aking luha habang pinagmamasdan ang mga litrato ng aking ina. Niyakap ko ang mga litrato na tila ba’y tunay na naroon si Mommy at siya ang aking niyayakap. I miss her. I miss her smiles, her hugs, her jokes, her laughs whenever I get confused with directions, and when she scolds me whenever I make mistakes, but always comes in to my room after to talk to me and help me learn from the mistakes I made.

If only I could turn back the time…

Humiga ako sa kama habang hawak parin ang mga litrato saka ako napatingin sa bedside table nang tumunog ang aking cellphone, tamad ko itong kinuha at sinagot ng hindi tinitignan kung sino ang tumawag.

“Hello?” I stopped crying but my throat is sore.

“Rain.” It’s him, Archer. I don’t have the energy to be mad at him. I’m not mad at him. I can’t stay mad at him

 Honestly… I need him.

I wanted to feel his arms around me, to comfort me like how he comforted me before when I failed a major quiz in my Pharmacology. Silly me to cry, I know. But I reviewed for that subject, for that quiz, but it was not enough, I did my best but it was not enough. It was just frustrating.

“I know you’re not okay right now.” Malumanay ang kanyang boses at rinig ko rin ang kanyang mahinang paghinga. Hindi ako sumagot at nagpatuloy lamang ito.

“I’m here... Always here for you… You can cry, Rain, it’s alright.” Nagsiunahang tumulo ang aking luha matapos niyang banggitin ang mga katagang iyon.  I cried silently as I listened to his voice.

“You will be fine. You have me… Hannah… Sophia… Azlan… and Vince, even if he ruined my face I’ll consider him.” Tahimik naman akong natawa nang maalala ang itsura ni Archer nang mabugbog ito kanina ni Vince.

Yes I have them. I’ll be okay. Mom wants me to be okay, I know.

“I wish I’m there to help you right now.” I started to hiccup, so I reached for the water on the bedside table and drank it.

“You alright?”

“Hmm.”

“Sophia was worried about you. She’s with Azlan right now.”

“She cried when she knew that you were crying at the hospital… You’re her Ate… She even insisted on visiting you but you’re there.”

Naramdaman ko ang paghatak ng tulog sa aking mga mata at ang pagod sa byahe at pag iyak. Nanatili ang cellphone sa aking tabi at naka loud speaker ito. Pumikit ako at hinayaan kong ihele ako ng antok.

“You still there, Rain?” I can hear his breathing on the phone, so calm that it wants my breathing to sync with his.

“Sleep now, Rain. Good night.” Sleep immediately consumed me after his words.