The Girl I Adore From Afar

IV

  Another day passed and right now I'm sitting at my usual spot, under the large tree on the football field.

 I'm currently reading my favorite book— or at least I'm pretending to read it. 

The soccer team is having their practice right now, and out of all the people that's in there just one person caught my attention. 

Like always. It is the soccer team's left midfielder Chelsea Avila.

 And yes she plays soccer.

 I pretend to read my book when all i ever did is to ogle at her and watched as she gracefully keep the ball in her feet. dodging everyone that attack and try to steal the ball from her. 

She's like dancing with the ball keep still on her feet. She's so good with it. I have to admit. She's looks so pretty and she looks like she's having a lot of fun. 

The way she keep the ball is so feminine and sexy na parang gusto kong pagpawisan ng malamig. 

 She looked like an angel, especially with the sun hitting her light skin and causing her to glow.

 Ibinaba ko ang 'binabasang' libro discreetly and watched them. 

Three girls blocked Chelsea's way. It's so intense that she have to be guarded by three people. She's so fast and they could hardly keep up with her. 

 She passed the ball to the center midfielder and run as past as she could near the net.

 When she is on the right position, the center midfielder pass the ball to her. At napatayo ako mula sa kinauupuan noong malakas nitong sinipa ang bola at pumasok iyon sa net! GOAL!! 

 Her teammates hugged her happily and they all celebrated that impressive goal. 

They won with the score of 2-1 in favor of Chelsea's team. This was just a soccer practice! And she was this good! This girl never fail to amaze me.. Really. My eyes went wide when i saw her looked at me after a while. 

She smiled so wide when she saw me there that her dimples on both of her cheeks became visible. 

And my heart. My God! My heart beats so loud inside my chest that i can't literally breathe! I can't believe she had this effect on me. 

It's not even good for my health anymore! Right!? May sakit na ba ako sa puso?! Do i need to visit my doctor now!? Pero I'm only feeling this way whenever she's near! Damn it! She's walking papunta sa pwesto ko! I immediately went panic mode and grab all of my things.

 I need to get out of here FAST! Bago pa sya makarating sa pwesto ko, i quickly run paalis doon at dumiretso sa Business Science Building. 

 I breathe a sigh of relief nung ma realize kong natakasan ko na naman sya. 

 I can't trust myself whenever she's around. 

I became a completely different person whenever I'm with her. It's like my sariling buhay ang katawan ko kapag kaharap ko sya and i can't even focus. 

Hindi tinatanggap ng katawan ko ang gustong gawin ng utak ko! It's frustrating! I will just make a complete fool out of myself in front of her and there's no way I'm gonna let that happen! 

That's why I'm avoiding her at all cost! I don't know kung alam nya iyon of course, but i don't want to make it so obvious na iniiwasan ko sya.

 She was like a kryptonite on my fragile heart. 

 I am not the same cold and emotionless person whenever she's near. I can't even do my facade because she's breaking all of my walls.

 It scare's me. It scared me that until now she had this effect on me, and she didn't even know that. She didn't even know how one simple smile of hers can stop my breathing but can make my day at the same time. 

 Maingat at pasimple akong lumingon lingon sa likuran ko just to make sure na talagang nawala na ako sa paningin nya. 

I sigh. Malala na ako.

 This love bug hit me hard and i don't know how to handle it! Yes love bug! Google told me that! I searched why i am acting this way and that stupid google just told me that this is what they called a love bug! Psh. Not helpful at all!

 Kahit  mga kaibigan ni Chelsea ay iniiwasan ko ring makasalubong man lang. Because whenever we happen to crossed paths, they would look like they're talking about me a lot and they keep giggling lalo pa kapag kasama ng mga ito si Chelsea, i don't even know what is up with them. 

Pinagtatawanan ba ako ng mga ito?! Masyado na ba akong halata?! God! My anxiety is kicking because that would be so embarrassing! I tried so hard to keep my facade and flashed my emotionless face kapag nakakasalubong ko sila, although they still keep giggling kapag nakikita ako. Kaya i tried so hard for us not to cross paths.  

Kahit sa hallway, sa library, sa locker room.. I always make sure na they were not in there and it's "safe"  bago ako pumasok. 

 That was basically how all of my days revolve inside this school. 

The Ice Queen avoiding Chelsea Avila at all cost.. the girl that is admired by almost everyone in this university, although ako lang ang nakakaalam na iniiwasan ko sya. I feel like i was always being paranoid and i keep over analyzing things when it comes to her.

 But you can't blame me! Kapag malapit sya ay sya lang ang napapansin ko at wala ng iba! It's hard to pretend that i didn't care about her, when all i want to do is to just stare at her beautiful face all day long! 

Isn't that creepy? I think I'm creepy too and that's saying something. 

I feel like a fool avoiding her when she's near pero kapag wala naman ito ay hinahanap hanap ko sya..  But i have to avoid her.. Because that way i feel safe. I have to avoid my kryptonite.. My weakness.. I have to keep my walls up. It's more than safe that way. 

 I have a vacant period before lunch today and i still have twenty minutes left before it. I fished my phone out of my pocket and quickly dialled kuya Ty's number. After a few rings He answered. "Hello? Sydney?" "Kuya Ty! Nandyan ka ba sa Parking Lot?" "Oo. Nandito lang ako.. Ayaw mo naman na sumusunod ako sayo diba? May problema ba?" I quickly detect the worry in his voice and i chuckled because of that. And yes, he was like a brother to me pero naiilang pa rin ako kapag may bodyguard na sumusunod sa akin. Nakakahatak lang ako lalo ng atensyon and that's what i avoid the most. 

Dahil doon ay nakiusap akong hintayin na lang ako ni Kuya Ty sa kotse kapag nandito kami sa loob ng school and i assured him that i will be safe in return. "Don't worry man, I'm still in one piece and i am safe. You don't need to panic!" I laugh and i can hear him breathe a sigh of relief "I just called dahil vacant subject ko na ngayon before mag lunch.. Pupunta na lang ako dyan para maaga tayong makaalis at makapag lunch sa labas" Tumingin muna ako left and right bago magpasyang magpatuloy sa paglalakad.

 Mahirap na. Baka nasa paligid lang si Chelsea.. At wala na akong magagawa kapag nakita at kinausap nya ako! "Okay, Be careful papunta rito... Or if you want susunduin na lang kita dyan. Where are you right now?" 

I rolled my eyes. "Kuya Ty!! I'm literally like just a few steps ahead the parking lot! You don't need to fetch me here cmon! I'm not a child!" 

 He just laugh out loud and i turn off my phone already because malapit na ako sa parking lot at nakikita ko na ngayon ang kotse ko at nandoon si Kuya Ty sa labas ng kotse na tila hinihintay akong dumating. 

Sumaludo ito noong makita ako and i chuckled at how goofy he looked because of that. I always  treat him just like my own brother and He treat me like her own sister too. 

 Pinagbuksan ako nito ng pinto ng kotse. "Saan tayo ngayon Syd?" He asked and i smiled. I'm not really a cold person to the ones that close to me you know, it's just that i can only tolerate a few people. So i don't really socialize much. "Sa dati pa rin tayo Kuya Ty" I'm talking about my favorite restaurant kung saan palagi kaming kumakain ng lunch.

  Casual hang out place ang lugar. What i like the most about the place is peaceful doon at walang maiingay na costumer..  it's like a sanctuary for people like me who wants a quiet and peaceful place to eat, where there is some really good instrumental music. 

I really love it there lalo pa at talagang masarap ang pagkain and homey ang ambiance ng lugar. I feel at home whenever I'm in there. He just nods and smiled.

 And after a while nandoon na kami sa lugar. 

 Urgh. I'm starving and i need to eat! Umupo na kami sa usual table na inuukopa namin. 

We always eat together because i don't treat him just like a normal bodyguard.. He is my friend. And i only have a few but i treasure my friends a lot. 

 We scanned their menu's and we get the usual. We talked and laugh at something he would say. He is just funny like that and i like it because i am more of a listener than a talker. So i need a constant companion who is really talkative and funny that can keep the conversation going because that's something I'm not good at. 

But I'm a kind of person you can count on when you need someone to listen. I will listen to everything you have to say and actually remembered every detail that you told me.

 Kuya Ty told me that it still amaze him that i still remember all the things he told me like two years ago, even just the simplest things. And i like that about me. I like to be someone who actually listen and remember everything a person has to say. it's like appreciating that person's mind. Although I'm only like that to people who are close to me. Hindi ko pinapakita sa iba iyon. 

 Natigil ako sa akmang pag subo ng pagkain ko when i heard something. Or some people talking rather, and the voices are really familiar that i instantly grew pale when i realized kung kaninong mga boses iyon. 

Shit. Of all places! Bakit dito pa!? I'm really unlucky! 

 Unti unting lumalapit ang mga boses na iyon until Chelsea and her friends came into my view. 

Umupo ang mga ito sa mesang kaharap namin! I can't help but sigh. I have the worst luck ever! Kakatakas ko lang sa kanya kanina tapos magkikita rin pala kami dito!? As usual nagtatawanan sila and they giggled non stop pagkakita sa akin and i face palmed mentally. 

Sinisiko rin ng mga kaibigan nito si Chelsea but she just smiled adorably at them in return. 

 She gave me a bright smile pagkakita sa akin and slightly wave. 

Fuck! My poor heart instantly flutter because of that.

 What I am gonna do!? Wave back!? s**t! I'm so awkward to do that! This is what i avoid the most!! I act like a complete fool when I'm in front of her! And i don't even know what to do! I panicked. 'Think Sydney! Think..' I just simply nod at her in the end to acknowledge her.

 And i almost want to smack myself because of that. She just smiled and look down when she saw that.

  A tint of red blush spread across her cheeks. While all of her friends hollered and cheers happily. 

 Nagtaka naman ako dahil doon. They're acting really weird. What is up with them!? Hindi naman siguro sila nakakahalata sa nararamdaman ko towards Chelsea right!? I'm not doing anything!  I continued to just admire her from afar like i always did. I start to panicked. 

's**t! Did i do something? Did i dig a hole out of myself!?' "Hey kiddo! Are you alright!?" Kuya Ty snap me from my thoughts. Geez! I'm getting all paranoid again! "U-Uhm yeah I'm fine kuya Ty."

 "Are you sure?" "Y-Yeah.'' I hesitantly replied while I'm rocking my mind back in forth trying to remember something that i did wrong.

 I faced palmed myself. 'Malala ka na Sydney.. You were so doomed.'