More Than Anything (TAGALOG)

Quinn

I bombarded Margaux with a lot of texts because I couldn’t contact her. I told her I would meet her in the hospital today. I needed to see her and ask if it was really Shawn last night.

To: Margaux

What time’s your shift? We need to talk.

To: Margaux

I’m going to the hospital today. I need to see you.

To: Margaux

Is that our son? Is that Shawn?

I waited for her to respond but she only sent me one text.

From: Margaux

He’s my son.

I narrowed my eyes at her message. She really doesn’t acknowledge me as the father of Shawn. As to why she still have some grudge against me now, I don’t know.

When I read her response, I immediately called her. Her phone was ringing but she was answering. She’s deliberately trying to ignore me and my calls. Alam ko iyon.

Nang makulitan ito sa akin ay doon lang niya sinagot ang tawag ko.

“Is that Shawn?” I asked without even greeting her properly. “Gusto niya akong makita?”

It was silent from the other line. Hindi ko alam kung sadya ba o nag-iisip lang si Margaux ng isasagot sa akin.

“Makita lang. Hanggang doon lang iyon.” She answered without any ounce of emotion.

Pero kahit pa ganoon ay hindi ko pa rin makontrol ang sayang nararamdaman ko. I’m going to meet my son. It was pure bliss.

“Thank you!” I beamed, unable to control my emotions. “Thank you!” I feel like I could cry with this news. I wanted more. I wanted to hold my son more but this is a good start.

Meeting my son is a great start.

It’s also one of the best gifts I can give for Christmas.

“Is that what you’re going to tell me?” She asked but she didn’t even gave me time to answer her because she already hung up.

Nevertheless, I was smiling the whole time. Nang magpacheck up nga ako ay hindi ko maitago ang ngiti ko. Two days and I will be able to meet my son.

“Mr. Quinn Guevarra?” tawag sa akin ng nurse.

I stood up and went to the clinic of Dr. Dela Fuente. Ngunit napatigil ako nang may marinig ako galing sa loob.

“Hindi ko alam kung tama bang ipakilala ko siya sa anak ko.”

I cannot be mistaken. This is Margaux’s voice.

“It’s your son’s identity, Margaux. Akala ko ba ay settled na tayo kahapon pa?” It was Dr. dela Fuente’s voice his time.

“Deonna, I’m his mother. I’ve raised him alone. Nang itakwil ako ng mga magulang ko, it was Shawn who gave me strength. When I was broken, he made me whole. It’s hard for me to let him meet someone who could possibly take him away from me.”

Nanghina ako nang marinig ko ang panig ni Margaux. So, that’s what she thinks of me. She thinks I would steal Shawn away from her.

And what was that?

Itinakwil siya ng mga magulang niya? How could they do that? Mag-isa lamang siyang anak!

“Maybe he isn’t a bad person? Malay mo naman, gusto lang niyang makilala siya ng anak niya.” Dr. dela Fuente commented. “Tamang hinala ka kasi lagi.”

I heard Margaux’s heavy breath. “I’m a single parent. It hasn’t been easy on us. So I need to protect my son from everything. Kahit na sa sarili niyang daddy.” Aniya.

“I know Shawn. Hindi ka niya iiwan. You’re his favorite person and you’re his parent so bakit?” Dr. Dela Fuente said.

“You know why I’ve never mentioned that I was pregnant when I caught him cheating on me?” Lumakas ang t***k ng puso ko habang naghihintay na ituloy niya ang sasabihin niya. “I wanted him to follow his heart. Ayokong piliin niya ako para lang sa magiging anak namin. I never wanted him to come to me and then blame me for being miserable. I don’t want him to be miserable and treat my son like nothing. Iyon ang ayaw kong mangyari sa anak ko. I wanted the best for him.”

My heart ached with the words she uttered. Was that how she thought of me?

“Ayoko ring iwanan niya kami kapag naisip niyang hindi pala kami ang tamang choice. I don’t want my son to feel broken because his father left us for another woman, for another family. That’s why I kept it a secret. That’s why I chose to hide his identity from our son because I don’t want our son to suffer. Mas mabuti nang mamulat siyang walang ama kaysa naman mayroon nga, iba naman ang mahal. I just chose the easy path for me and my son.”

With the way she is talking right now, I feel angry and frustrated. How could she think so lowly of me? Paano niya nasabing ganoon ang mangyayari?

I wouldn’t have left Louise but I would never leave my son. I would never hurt my son. I would love him like how a father could.

“It’s going to be okay. Sa tingin ko naman ay malaki ang impluwensya mo kay Shawn. He’ll never leave you.” Dr. dela Fuente said.

“I hope so. Hindi ko alam kung saan ako pupulutin kung mawala sa akin ang anak ko.” Ani Margaux.

I took a deep breath and tried to calm my nerves down. I shouldn’t let her words get to me. I’m just going to be happy because my son wanted to meet with me. He even wanted me to play football with him. That’s more than enough…for now.

Nang marinig kong magpaalam si Margaux ay lumayo ako sa pintuan. I went back to where I was sitting originally and I swear I know I looked crazy.

Saktong sakto nang makalabas siya sa pintuan ay nakita niya ako. She didn’t ignore me, in fact, she even held an eye-to-eye contact with me.

“Margaux!”

Natigil lamang ito nang may tumawag sa kanyang doktor rin. He’s tall and muscular. He pulled Margaux’s waist closer to him and whispered something in her ear before they left the OPD.

I narrowed my eyes at them. Who is this man?

Is he her boyfriend? Kilala na ba siya ng anak ko?

Now, come to think of it, may mga naging boyfriend ba si Margaux pagkatpos ko? Were they able to meet my son? Has my son looked up at them as his father?

Fuck!

Just the mere thought of it makes me want to crush their faces to the ground.

I was so frustrated that I didn’t even notice that I’ve got my fists tightly clenched. Damn it! Hindi ko maisip ang anak ko sa kamay ng ibang lalaki! My son is mine.

Damn it!

“Mr. Guevarra!” The nurse called me once again. And this time she was the one who opened the door for me.

I’ve finished my checkup well. Wala naman akong naramdamang masama kaya mabilis lang rin ang check up. Dr. Dela Fuente just told me to be careful next time.

I walked out to the ER and gladly bumped into Margaux. She’s on the phone with someone.

“Huh? No! Did you drink your vitamins?” Aniya sa cellphone niya. “Did Yaya give you packed lunch? Yes? Alright.” She was oblivious to the surroundings and have her attention to her phone alone. “Bye, baby. Put some goals.” She beamed before hanging up.

I crossed my arms and waited for her to turn around and it was pure entertainment. She looked like she’s seen a ghost when she saw me.

“Anong ginagawa mo dito?” She asked me.

I looked at her sternly. “Got my head checked.” I replied.

Nanliit ang mga mata niya sa akin. “You done?” She asked.

I nodded.

“Then go home. Wala ka namang mapapala dito.” She told me before rolling her eyes at me.

She was about to walk passed me when I held her wrist. She looked at me with an annoyed expression. “What the hell?” She asked.

My jaw clenched as I saw how annoyed she is with my touch. Samantalang halos itapon niya ang katawan niya sa lalaking iyon kanina?!

“Aren’t you a little too pissed for a touch?” I asked her.

She narrowed her eyes at me. “What are you talking about?” She asked back.

I pulled her in front of me. “Do you let other men meet my son?” I asked, gritting my teeth. “Pinapakilala mo ba sila anak ko?”

Kung akala ko ay nakita ko na ang galit na ekspresyon mula sa kanya, may mas gagalit pa pala.

“E ano naman ngayon sa’yo?” She taunted. “Sa tingin mo ba wala siyang kinikilalang Daddy maliban sa’yo? He has a lot of fathers because I dated a lot of men after you!” She yelled at me and I’m not going to deny how made me real pissed.

Damn it!

“How dare you!” I screamed at her. “I am the only father of Shawn. I may not know anything about his small details but I’m telling you, Margaux, don’t let my son be touched by someone that’s not me.”

She scoffed as she yanked her hand out of my grip. “You weren’t there when he was growing up, is that how a father is?” She asked me. “Buti pa ang ibang lalaki, nakita ang anak kong lumaki. Ikaw? You didn’t see him grow up. You didn’t see him when he first walked, when he had his first tooth, when—”

“Because you hid him away from me!” I cute her off.

She smiled and shook her head. “You made me hide him away from you, Quinn. You fell for another woman when he was growing inside me. What did you expect me to do?” She taunted before leaving me alone again. f**k!