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Chapter 2 - Attracted

Johan's pov

I am here at the bar with my friend Jarred,to reunite with him after a year of not seeing him. The same bar where I met my happiness. My love. My Rechielle.

So how's Rechielle now,dude? Going strong eh? Jarred knows Rechielle because I introduce her to him. He's like a brother to me that I can rely on. He actually advice me to divorce my wife but I can't.

She's fine. Yeah, we're good,man. Still together and going strong ,hopefully. I answered him crossfinger.

How about you, how you doin? How's london? Yeah he was in london for a year and he just came back.

Ayun, london pa rin dude.

So, buti hindi pa buntis si Rechielle ah? Wala ka ba talagang balak magkaroon ng isa pang anak?

I don't mean to be rude,dude. But think about it.

You're getting older and your only son is special.

Whose gonna look after you when you get old? I mean older! Na sinabayan pa niyan ng tawa.

I know dude, of course I want to have children with her.But I don't want to rush things yet because she still young.

At the moment naka enroll Siya sa driving school. Just to get her busy and I'm also asking her to find a university where she can continue her studies . Since she passed highschool last year.

Ewan ko sa'yo Johan.

Baka makahanap yan ng iba kapag nakapasok sa school. Maraming mas gwapo doon at di nalalayo sa edad niya. Nasa paligid lang ang tukso. Hindi sa tinatakot kita pero parang ganon na nga, hahaha . Sutil talaga to si jarred kahit kailan pero may point Siya at dahil doon napaisip ako. Nagkwentuhan pa kami ng Ibang mga bagay bago tuluyang nagpaalamanan.

Nauna na siyang umalis dahil pinapauwi na ng Misis niya.

Nagstay pa ako ng ilang sandali. At sa muling pagtingin ko sa stage ng bar.

One year ago...

Playing......

Creep by Radiohead

Sumasaliw sa himig ng musika ang balingkinitang katawan ng dalagang walang kamalay malay na minomolestya niya na isip niya.Habang nakasunod ang paningin niya sa bawat galaw ng dalaga ay sinisimsim niya ang baso ng alak na hawak. Iniisip na bakit ang isang tulad nito sa murang edad na sa palagay niya ay nasa disi otso pa lamang, ay napadpad sa maruming kalakaran ng bar.Pero naisip niya din na malamang dahil sa kalam ng sikmura,tulad ng karamihang sagot sa kanya ng mga nakausap niya.

Hindi naman siya babaero pero dahil sa set up nila ng asawa niya, kailangan niya ng ibang babaeng mapagdarausan ng init ng katawan.Oo may asawa siyang tao.Not annulled nor divoreced,but legally separated. Magkasama pa din kami sa iisang bahay pero kanya kanya na kami ng buhay.Walang pakealamanan sa kanya kanyang lakad. Hindi lang kami tuluyang makapaghiwalay dahil sa anak namin na special. Pero bago pa kami nagkakilala may anak na si Gia sa iba.Dala ng responsibilidad sa pinagbubuntis niya kaya nakuha ko siyang pakasalan. Hindi lingid sa mga kasambahay,kaibigan,kapitbahay at kakilala ang set up naming mag asawa. Ang madalas pa ngang sabihin ni Gia sakin,di baleng mambabae ako ng marami ,wag lang daw niyang mababalitaang nakabuntis ako. Tssk ! Sa unang taon ng ganon set up namin nanibago ako.Hindi na ako makontento sa pag gamit ng kamay ko.Natural, lalaki ako at may pangangailangan.Kaya't napagpasyahan kong sundin ang sinabi niya. Ang maghanap ng babaeng mapagdarausan ng tawag ng laman.

I am a one woman man kaya nahirapan akong humanap.

I don't want to just f**k and leave.I hate it. I want something I could hold on. A security perhaps? That I will be hers and she will be mine alone.

Which I know is a bit imposible in my situation.

Not unless we'll presume to divorce.

Which I don't really like.

Not because I still love her or still have feelings for her.(my wife)

But I just don't want to lose most of my wealth for that woman.

Its not practical to give it to her because it's all mine.

I worked hard for it.

I earned it myself without her help.

I'm not selfish but she doesn't deserve it.Why? Because she's not a good mother to our only son.

I don't want to elaborate any more about it.

All I could say is she doesn't fulfill her motherly duties.

Ibinalik ko ang tingin ko sa hawak kong bote ng beer na paubos na.Kung kaya't tumawag ako ng pansin sa isang waitress.

Mirna? One more beer and a drinks for the lady na sumasayaw sa stage ngayon. Can you please ask her to sit with me on my table ? What's her name?

Ah si Rechielle po Sir.Sige Sir tawagin ko po.

Oh!,her name's Rechielle. Nice name.

Right Thanks.

Sagot ko sa waitress.

Sa laking tao kong ito,may pagka mahiyain din ako. Hindi ko Siya magawang ayain na maupo sa tabi ko. Kung kaya't inutos ko sa waitress na nagdala drinks ko.

ui Rechielle pinapaupo ka ni Sir Johan sa tabi niya o. May drinks ka dali na. Tiba tiba ka jan. Madami magpainom yan, malalasing ka,sigurado.

Narinig kong sabi ni Mirna kay Rechielle.

Sige ate Mirna ,Salamat.I heard Rechielle answered back to the waitress then, She went down the stage and approached me.

Here's the drink Sir. Abot ng waitress sa amin.Kasabay na nito si Rechielle.

Thanks,Mirna.

Welcome Sir.

Hi Sir, I'm Rechielle.

Tanong ni Rechielle sakin.Sabay lahad ng kamay upang makipag shake hands.

Hi Rechielle,I'm Johan.

Abot ko sa kamay niya.Mabilis lang na shake hands yon per Iba na ang epekto.Shit,Do I have a crush on her? I mentally asked myself. I'm not a freaking teenager to act like this. I cursed myself.

Nice to meet you Sir,Johan.

She answered habang ang kamay ay humahagod na sa aking likuran upang ito'y masahiin o mas tamang sabihin na haplos haplusin.Damn! Her touch have a big effect on me.How could it be?

Would you like some massage ? I'll masage your back. Sabi niya kahit wala pa naman itong tigil sa paghaplos sa aking likuran simula ng lumapit ito. Hindi ako komportable.Baka kung ano pang magawa ko. Kung kaya't hinawakan ko ang kamay niya mula sa'king balikat na minamasahe niya at iginiya Siya paupo sa harapan ko sa bakanteng upuan.Sa muling paghawak ko sa kamay niya ay nabubuhay na ang alaga ko.Paano ba 'to?

The attraction I'm feeling towards her was strong that I'm tempted to kiss her right now. It's wrong, I know. My age doesn't fit with her. I am forty nine and she's only f*****g eihgtheen,damn it !

That's a f*****g 31 years gap. Dammit! I'm not a pedophile, I swear but I just really couldn't help it.I'm so disgusted to myself.

We talked some stories for a few hours and before I left that night, I know in myself that I want to see her again.I enjoyed her company.

Nice to meet you,Chielle. See you next time and take care.

The moment I left her is like I left my heart too.Im like robot,moving emotionlessly.

So I thought I'll take her just once next time,then I won't see her anymore. That's what I said to myself but it didn't happen.

Obviously.

Because we're still together and until now. She's still with me after a year. Bearing the heartaches I'm giving her because I couldn't marry her, but I do love her.

After she confessed her feelings towards me for the first time, I just laugh at it. Because I don't believe her. It hurts her I know but damn, she's only eihgtheen for heavens sake to thinks it's love. So I told her she must bej able to find love for the second time around in my life.Do I really deserve it? Do I deserve her? When all I give to her is heartache ? Because I can't marry her. I lover her but I can't marry her.

Napatigil ako sa pagbabalik tanaw at Napatingin sa cellphone kong nag ring.

Chielle calling......