Four Seasons of Love

CHAPTER 7

Kithin

Matalim ang titig ni Kuya Apollo kay Andrew habang papalapit kami sa kotse niyang nakapark sa basement. Doon na pala niya ako hinintay. Ang buong akala ko, ihahatid pa ako ni Andrew sa bahay namin.

I guess, I was wrong.

“K-kuya.” I said like a wounded cat.

Bumaling ang tingin niya sa akin. He looked at me sharply and his jaw clenched. I got scared at him. I don’t know how to talk to him later.

“Get in the car.” He said while his stares are piercing me slowly.

Mabilis akong tumango. Kumakabog na nang husto ang puso ko sa sobrang kaba. Pagagalitan ba niya ako? Wouldn’t he spare me from his flaming anger for what I did?

Of course, he’s mad! Sino’ng hindi magagalit sa ginawa ko? kahit sinong kapamilya, kung nalaman ang paglayas ng isa sa mga kasama sa bahay nila, hindi ba sila mag-aalala ng husto?

Before I went inside his car, I looked at Andrew again. I smiled sparingly and simply nodded at him.

“Thank you.” I said.

He gave me a small smile and raised his right hand. “Take care.”

Mukhang may sasabihin pa sana siya pero isinara na ni Kuya Apollo ang pintuan ng sasakyan. Sandali pa silang nag-usap. Tingin ko ay tungkol sa nangyari kagabi. Naririnig ko ang malakas na boses nila habang nagpapalitan ng mabibigat na salita.

I feel sorry for Andrew. He only helped me. I admit, I was a pain in the ass last night. Isama pa ang pagdala niya sa akin sa ospital. Heck, I am just thankful that he patiently took care of me while I mess everything because of my reckless decisions!

Hindi kami nag-iimikan ni Kuya habang nasa byahe kami pauwi. I can literally feel the coldness in between us. I wanted to speak my thoughts. I wanted to clear what I’ve heard, but seeing him treating me like this, napaka-wrong timing aside from the fact that I left the house without his knowledge.

I noticed two men wearing white button-down polo in front of our gate. Sila na rin ang nagbukas noon para makapasok kami sa loob. Maliban sa dalawang nakita ko, may isa pang nakatayo malapit sa entrance ng pintuan.

Who are they? Guards?

Lumingon ako kay Kuya. Matigas at madilim pa rin ang itsura niya. Like if I’ll try talking to him, he’ll bite me like an angry dog.

“I’ll just be in the library, in case na gusto mong pag-usapan ang paglalayas mo.” Malamig na sabi niya. He did not even glance at me and went

My shoulders slumped in disappointment. He may get mad at me for some reasons and I was never bothered about it. Nagtatalo pa nga kami kung minsan. But this time, I feel so guilty about what I’ve done. I really owe an explanation and…apology.

Pero paano? I don’t have the guts to talk to him yet. Natatakakot akong kagalitan. He was never mad at me like this. Mas gusto ko pa tuloy ‘yong nagsasagutan kami. Unlike now, he’s so frigid as ice towards me.

Hindi ko napansing nakalapit na pala si Mona sa akin. She tapped me in my shoulder. Nang lingunin ko siya ay nakatingin din siya sa direksyon kung saan pumunta si Kuya.

“Saan ka galing?” takang tanong niya.

I shrugged my shoulders. Tinungo ko ang living area at pabagsak akong umupo sa mahabang sofa. Naisip ko, why should I be bothered for what I’ve done? They were the one who lied to me! Mommy leave me! Pinaasa niya akong babalikan niya ako. At si Kuya, itinago ang lahat sa akin!

I may be sound so brat and illogical for justifying my unreasonable action but I don’t regret it.

“Galit na galit ang Kuya Apollo mo kanina. Hindi ka mahanap sa kwarto mo.” Sabi ni Mona.

Sinundan niya ako at naupo siya sa tabi ko. I crossed my arms and grimaced.

“Lahat kami rito, pinagalitan.” She said weakly and trailed off.

I stared at her. She looked so frightened. Galit nag alit siguro talaga si Kuya dahil ngayon ko lang din nakitang ganito kabalisa si Mona.

“Sorry…nadamay pa kayo.”

“Saan ka ba kasi pumunta?” takang tanong niya.

“Lumayas ako. Kila…Andrew ako nagpalipas ng gabi.”

Halos lumuwa ang mga mata niya dahil sa narinig. Her lips parted in real shock. Gusto ko ngang matawa sa reaksyon niya eh. Ano bang nakakagulat doon? Andrew is just my brother’s friend. Parang kuya ko na rin kung tutuusin.

“Mahabang kwento, Mona.” Dagdag ko.

Umiling siya. “Ready akong makinig!”

Mahina akong humalakhak. Ang chismosang ‘to. Gusto talagang malaman ang nangyari. Interesadong-interesado sa mga naganap kagabi.

Humarap ako sa kanya habang natatawa pa.

“Ganito. Lumayas ako. Tapos, sumaglit sa coffee shop. I looked for a hotel to stay. Eh hindi ako tinatanggap ng hotel. Sakto nandoon din siya kaya nataranta ako---”

“N-Nasa hotel din si Sir Andrew?”

Tumango ako habang nakanguso. “Oo. May kasama siya eh, pero hindi ko na---”

“Hah! Malamang babae niya ‘yon!” she said proudly.

My brow arched. Babae?

Ipinilig ko ang aking ulo and tried to remember the fragments of my memory last night in the hotel. Babae nga ang nabunggo ko noong nagmamadali akong lumabas sa building na iyon. But I didn’t notice that Andrew was also there because…I didn’t see him. He saw me first!

Ibig sabihin, posible ngang kasama niya iyong babae.

“Playboy ‘yon, Kith! Maraming chikababes ‘yon!” dagdag niya at saka ako siniko. “Hindi nauubusan.”

Ngumiwi ako. “Eww.”

Humalakhak siya. “Hindi niya gayahin ang kuya mo, ‘no?”

“Tss. Mahilig din sa babae si Kuya. Hindi lang halata.” Pambabara ko sa kanya.

She blushed profusely. Kahit morena siya, kitang-kita sa kanyang mukha na namumula ng husto ang mga pisngi niya.

I laughed hard. Mas lalo siyang naging awkward. Hindi ko alam kung bakit niya talaga nagustuhan ang kuya ko. He’s handsome, alright. But hell, ubod ng sungit!

Then I remembered what she told me about Andrew. He’s a certified womanizer, huh? Reason why he’s there last night. Well, kahit naman medyo…crush ko na siya, I think I won’t like him that much because he’s playboy as well.

Or maybe I was just so overwhelmed because he’s with me the whole time. Plus, the fact that he took care of me last night and he was a real gentleman.

Okay, I get it. Hindi ko siguro talaga siya gusto. Baka lang nalito ako sa naramdaman ko kanina sa condo niya.

Tumayo ako para puntahan si Kuya Apollo sa library. I decided to talk to him now. Gumaan na ng kaunti ang pakiramdam ko dahil nakapag-usap kami ni Mona.

“Akyat muna ako, ah?” paalam ko sa kanya.

Nag-iisip ako habang paakyat. How should I approach Kuya Apollo? Kailangan bang straight to the point na? Or I’ll let him talk first? Might as well confirm to him what I heard last night.

I sighed. Alright, let’s do this.

Pumasok ako agad sa library, not aware that I should knock first before I enter here. Sa sobrang kaba ko, hindi na napansin ang mga gagawin. And when I entered here, I immediately felt the rapid beating of my heart.

Kuya Apollo is in his working table, working in front of his laptop. I fixed my glasses and think quickly. Paano ko ba talaga uumpisahan? Tsk. Ang hirap naman nito.

Nag-angat siya ng tingin sa akin. His stares are colder now. Nagtagal ang tingin niya sa akin. the awkward silence in between us made me more tremble and nervous. Ngayon, blangko na ang utak ko. Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin. I just stood there like a statue.

“Hi.” I waved at him uncertainly.

I saw his chest heaved a deep sigh. Imbes na sagutin ako, his eyes settled again on the laptop. He didn’t want to answer my greetings. Okay, what should I do now?

Kabado man, I slowly moved closer to him. I want to clear everything now. I want to say sorry now. Kung kanina, hindi ko pinagsisisihan ang ginawa kong paglalayas, ngayon, just so we’ll patch things up, I will apologized.

May kasalanan din ako. Kapatid niya ako. He is responsible of my safety. I leave the house without him knowing. If I were also in his shoes, I would flare up because my sibling went away without my permission.

Saka isa pa, I also wanted to clear what I have heard last night.

“Are you ready to talk now?” I heard his dark voice asking me.

Though he’s not looking at me, I nodded. “Sorry, Kuya.”

Tuluyan kong nakuha ang kanyang atensyon at itinigil niya ang ginagawa. He looked at me and I can see from his face how angry and disappointed he is to me now.

“Ano’ng pumasok sa utak mo’t naisipan mong gawin iyon? Kulang na lang pigain ko ang mga tao rito sa bahay para umamin kung saan ka nagpunta! And you even left the house late?”

I pouted. I avoided his flaring eyes. Hindi ko siya matingnan ng maayos. Guilt crept within me.

“I’m sorry, Kuya.” I said softly.

I saw in my peripheral vision that he stood up. Naalarma lang ako ng lumapit siya sa akin.

“Si Mommy…hindi na babalik sa atin.” Napapaos niyang sinabi.

I glanced at him and looked down again. Tumango ako.

“I know. I heard you last night.”

“Is that why you left the house?”

I bit my lip. “Yes, Kuya.”

The side of my eyes heated. Naiiyak na ako. I remembered her again and her promises. Nakakasama ng loob.

He sighed. Lumapit siya sa akin lalo at hinawakan ako sa magkabilang balikat.

“Look at me, Kith.” He demanded.

I slowly lifted my eyes to meet his. Ang bilis magbago ng mood niya. Kung kanina ay galit siya, now he looks like in misery.

“I’m sorry, too, Kith. Ikaw ang pinakanahihirapan sa gulo ng pamilyang ‘to.”

Hinila niya ako at saka niyakap. His embrace triggered me to cry. Hindi ko na napigilan ang emosyon. My shoulders shuddered uncontrollably and cried on his arms. Hindi niya ako pinigilan, bagkus, hinaplos niya lamang ang likod ko.

We were living under the shadows of my father’s first family all our lives. We were not recognized. My mother was a mistress. I won’t sugar coat that. She loved my father so much that she could settle for that kind of life with him.

Kami ni Kuya Apollo, na naging bunga ng kanilang mapusok na pagmamahalan, ang sumasalo sa lahat ng hirap ng hidwaan nila.

I just can’t believe that even Mommy will leave me. I already accepted that Daddy will never be ours solely. But I know that Mommy will always be with us no matter what.

And knowing from my brother that she will not be coming back to us broke my heart big time.

“Hush now, Kith. I will take care of you from now on.” Kuya said.