Four Seasons of Love

CHAPTER 19

Kithin

"Where have you been?" Kuya Apollo's stern voice greeted me.

I came home late. Manong Rene wasn't able to fetch me because Andrew brought me home straight into our house. Pagbalik kasi namin sa school ay wala na si Manong doon. And it's past six in the evening already. He decided to bring me home. He also called Kuya Apollo not to get worried because I'm with him.

"I-I-I'm...Ahm..." I couldn't find words to say because I didn't think of another reason to tell him.

"Sinamahan ko siya sa eco-park, Apollo. Para sa kanyang Science project." Si Andrew ang sumagot para sa akin.

I bit the walls of my lip. This is my first time lying to my brother. Kahit kinumbinsi ako ni Andrew na sabihin ang totoo sa kanya, hindi ako pumayag sa suggestion niya. We even dropped by to my favorite fastfood chain so I can wear my school uniform again. Dahil kung uuwi akong naka-casual attire ay talagang magtataka sila sa aming dalawa.

Nakita ko ang mapanuring tingin ni Kuya Apollo kay Andrew. His jaw clenched as he looked at Andrew critically.

"You didn't bother to call me?" Binalingan ako ni Kuya.

I gulped as I tried to remain myself calm. My heart is beating wildly. Kaba. Iyon lang ang tanging nararamdaman ko. Hindi ko maalis sa isip ko ang posibilidad na mahuli akong nagsisinungaling ng harap-harapan sa kanya para mapagtakpan ang kalokohan ko.

"My phone's dead, Kuya."

He sighed and nodded. "Go to your room."

I felt a huge relief as he told me to go upstairs. Mabilis ko siyang sinunod at pumanhik agad sa itaas. But I couldn't bid my goodbye to Andrew. Ni hindi ko man lang siya sinulyapan nang pumanhik ako sa hagdan.

Kaya nang marating ko ang dulo ng hagdan sa itaas, I looked down to see if he's also expecting to look at me for the last time this night. Kausap niya na ngayon si Kuya Apollo. They looked serious, though. Nakita kong tinapik ni Andrew ang balikat ni Kuya Apollo at pumihit na sila palabas sa living room.

But before he finally turned around, he quickly glanced at my direction. Literal na tumigil ako sa paghinga nang magtama ang mga mata namin. I instantly smiled and waved my hand a bit. He didn't react, though. He remained serious and looked away.

It's alright. He's with Kuya Apollo. Maybe he ignored me because he doesn't want me to get caught. He saved me a while ago. Kung sinagot niya ang ngiti ko kanina, baka mahuli lang kami ni Kuya.

Mas malaking problema 'yon.

But I felt guilty for not telling the truth to my brother. I didn't see it coming, too. Hiding the fact that I went for an afternoon stroll with Andrew made me feel guilty.

But I feel happy, too. I've never been this happy since then. If ever I got caught a while back, the happiness I'm feeling now couldn't outright the anger of my brother towards me, just in case.

Pero buti na lang hindi siya nagalit.

Andrew texted me that night, too. He reprimanded me about what happened earlier. Pinagsasabihan niya ako but I don't feel warned. Instead, I feel giddy.

Kinikilig ako dahil pinapagalitan niya ako.

What is wrong with me?

Ako:

Can I call?

It's almost midnight. Weekends naman bukas kaya okay lang ang magpuyat. Kasalukuyan akong nanonood ng movie sa iPad ko. Isa pa, Andrew isn't home yet. Nagkayayaan daw sila ng mga kaibigan niya.

Andrew:

It's loud in here. Can't talk to you that much.

Nangunot ang noo ko. Maingay? Nasaan ba siya?

Ako:

Where are you?

Andrew:

In the bar.

Naibaba ko ang iPad at nag-isip. Bar? Isn't it the usual bar where you could have a drink? Or was it like a club with women who wear sexy clothes and perfectly alluring make-ups?

I typed my reply.

Ako:

Still with your friends? Or are you with some girls, too?

Ngumuso ako nang mai-send ko ang reply ko. Thinking that he's with another girl made me feel furious. Nanlalamig ang pakiramdam ko. I feel restless, too. Segundo pa lang ang nakakalipas nang isend ko ang text ko pero pakiramdam ko, minuto na ang lumipas.

I typed another message for him again because I couldn't settle here now. I wanted to know it as soon as he gets to read my text. Pero bago ko pa matapos ang message ko sa kanya ay nakatanggap ako ng reply mula sa kanya.

Andrew:

Yeah, some of my friends are girls, Kith. We're celebrating a friend's birthday.

Parang kinukurot ang puso ko. I knew it. He's with girls.

My phone beeped again.

Andrew:

I'm with your brother, too.

My hands trembled and my heart throbbed. Literal akong nanghina. Him partying in a bar with some women made my heart hurt.

Akala ko ba, gusto niya ako? Hindi ba dapat kapag may gusto ka na ay siya lang ang gugustuhin mo? Bakit sasama pa siya sa ibang babae?

Am I not enough?

I don't care if it's a friend. He told me he likes me. How could I believe his words for me if he could still go out with another woman?

Mabigat sa loob itong nararamdaman ko. Parang may nakabara sa paghinga ko. I'm so jealous! Ni hindi niya sinabi kung saan siya pupunta. Kung hindi ko pa tinanong, hindi pa niya sasabihin sa akin ang totoo.

Well, if he can keep a secret to me, pwes! I'll do the same thing. I won't text him anymore. I won't bother him telling all my whereabouts!

I will ignore him from now on! I'm so furious right now!

I received a text message again from him but I didn't bother to reply anymore. Ni hindi ako nagsabi na matutulog na ako. I just put down my iPad and tried to catch some sleep.

There's no point of waiting for a text. I don't want anything to do with him from now on.

Weekends came and I got bored, as usual. May pasok si Mona kapag Saturday. I just binge-watched the whole day. Niyaya pa ako ni Kuya Apollo na sumama sa kanya sa opisina niya pero agad akong tumanggi dahil siguradong nandoon lang si Andrew.

I completely ignored him since that midnight. Nakatanggap pa ako ng dalawang text mula sa kanya bago ako nakatulog. Ang isa'y tinatanong ako kung tulog na ba ako at ang isa'y nagpaalam na matutulog na raw siya.

Kahit kaninang umaga, ilang beses akong nakatanggap ng text at tawag galing sa kanya pero kahit isa roon ay hindi ko sinasagot. I don't want to talk to him anymore.

He can be with his women from now on. I don't care if he go to bars every night. I don't want a liar. He lied, so I don't want him na.

Bahala siya sa buhay niya!

Sunday came and I asked Mona to go to a mall with me. Bored na bored na ako sa bahay at gusto ko ulit mamasyal.

"Mona, labas tayo!"

"Saan naman tayo pupunta?" She asked.

Naisip ko ang eco-park na pinuntahan namin ni Andrew noong Friday. Maganda rin doon at maraming activities na pwedeng gawin. Sawa na kasi ako sa mga malls. Pare-pareho lang ang ginagawa at nakikita roon.

Pero nang maalala kong ayoko na kay Andrew, napangiwi na lang ako.

"Anywhere. Do you have something in mind?" I asked.

Nakita ko siyang tinatapos ang activity nila sa isang notebook. Nasa sala kami ngayon. Nakasalampak siya sa sahig habang ako naman ay naupo sa single couch.

"Busy ako, Kith. Marami akong requirements na kailangang tapusin." Aniya at nagpatuloy sa pagsusulat.

I pouted. Well, she seems so busy. I just killed my time with watching movies again.

Hindi ko alintana na dumaan na pala ang mahigit isang linggong hindi ko nakausap si Andrew. The first few days were the hardest! Nagtatalo ang isip at puso ko sa tuwing nami-miss ko siyang kausapin. Lalo na't lagi rin siyang nangungumusta, o kaya'y tumatawag pero kung hindi ko man papatayin ang tawag ay hindi ko na lamang iyon sinasagot.

I busied myself with various school requirements. Hindi ko na maisingit ang oras para sa kanya. Good thing, midterms made me busy in school. Individuals and group projects are lining up. Iba pa ang pagre-review ko sa mga subjects para sa exams.

"Austin, do you have some notes in our last meeting in History?" I asked.

I wasn't able to take down notes. Sobrang bilis kasing magsalita ng teacher namin. Sa mga unang topics ay nasusundan ko pa siya pero kalaunan ay sumuko na rin ako sa pagsusulat.

"Yup. Why? Hihiramin mo?"

Naglalakad na kami sa corridor. Tapos na ang klase namin sa araw na iyon. Papunta na ako sa parking lot nang maalala ang tungkol sa notes.

"Uh, sana. Gagamitin mo na ba?"

"Hindi pa naman," huminto siya sa paglalakad, dahilan para mahinto rin ako. He took his notebook out of his bag and handed it to me. "You can have it for the meantime. Kukunin ko na lang sa'yo kapag kailangan ko na."

"Wow! Thanks!" I cheerfully said.

Naghiwalay na rin kami ng daan nang marating namin ang parking area. Manong Rene must be waiting for me now. Mas maaga siyang dumarating ngayon kesa dati. Gusto ko na ring umuwi. I got a lot of things to do.

Pero pagdating ko sa parking area, wala ang sasakyan namin. Nilibot ko muna iyon dahil baka sa iba nag-park si Manong. Pero nang marating ko ang dulong bahagi ng area, someone pulled my right hand on the corner!

I shrieked out, of course! Nanlaban ako. I'm sure, it's a man. I tried my best to fought so hard but it seems useless! Ang laki ng mga braso niya na nakapulupot sa katawan ko.

"Kith!" The man called me.

Mabilis pa rin ang paghinga ko nang matigil sa panlalaban. My sharp gazes locked on his eyes. We never see each other for almost two weeks but I know, in the top of my anger and disappointments towards him, I still miss him.

I still miss him a lot.

His tired and frustrated aura flashed on his eyes. Para saan 'yon? Dahil nanlaban ako kanina?

"What are you doing here?" Galit kong tanong sa kanya.

Confusion now marred on his face. Hindi siya agad nakasagot sa tanong ko. Though, he was still holding me, hindi ko na rin sinubukang pumiglas. Not that I can't do it but...I just want to stay this way.

"I said, what are you doing here?!" I repeated, with my words seething in anger.

"Baby—"

"I don't want you here!"

Nabitawan niya ako, dahilan para makaatras ako ng bahagya mula sa distansya ko sa kanya. He gulped hard but he never cut his stares at me.

"Go back to your women! I don't want to see you!" I said hysterically.

Then I walked out. Kahit tinatawag niya ako, hindi ko na siya nilingon pa.