Fatal Desires

Kabanata 9

"When is your Moving Up Ceremony, Azhia?" My father asked out of nowhere. Inubos ko muna ang pagkain sa aking bibig, at uminom ng tubig bago sumagot sakanya.

"Probably around next week, dad."

"I am expecting you to be the class valedictorian."

Agad naman sayang sinuway ni mommy dahil sa kanyang inusal. He's always like this, pressuring me on things that I'm not sure if I can reach. Matalino ako, pero hindi kasing-talino ni kuya. I can't always reach his expectations, but mom's got my back always.

"Of course, dad."

Isang tipid na ngiti lang ang ibinigay ko sakanya at muling ipinagpatuloy ang pagkain. Paborito ko ang ulam na nakahain, pero bakit pakiramdam ko ay hindi ko 'to malunok. I suddenly lost my appetite.

Ilang minuto pa ang nakalipas at muli nanamang napunta sa akin ang atensyon. They asked me a lot of questions and I answered them boredly.

"What are your plans after this?"

"I want to attend the same school as my brother," I answered honestly.

Tila nabulunan si kuya sa aking sagot. Sunod-sunod ang ginawa niyang pag-ubo. Mommy and daddy stared with each other. Para silang nag-uusap gamit ang mga mata nila.

Sa tingin ko ay wala namang problema sa sagot ko. Tinanong nila ako, at nagpakatotoo lang ako sa sagot ko. Palihim akong sinipa ni kuya mula sa ilalim ng mesa. I looked at him and hissed a bit. A raised a brow to him because of his accusing looks.

What? Did I do something wrong again?

"Are you sure?" My mother asked.

"O-opo, kung papayag si daddy," sagot ko naman. All of us turned our gaze to dad. Seryoso lamang 'to at tila nag-iisip. He took a deep breath first before answering.

"Let's see."

"Thanks, dad!"

Isang simpleng sagot lamang 'yon, pero malaki na ang impact sa akin. He didn't directly said yes, but I know there's still a chance.

I am doing my skin care routine when someone knocked on my door. I took a deep breath as I put down the cleanser that I was holding.

"Ma'am, may delivery po. Para sayo daw," aniya at saka inabot sa akin ang kulay itim na box.

"OMG! Thank you, manang!"

My smile reached my shining eyes when I took the box from her. Paniguro, ito na 'yong souvenir namin noong promenade. Great!

I was about to close my door when my brother interrupted. Palabas siya sa kanyang kwarto na katapat lang ng akin. His hair is still messy and his eyebags are also deep.

"You like him that much, huh?"

"What are you talking about, idiot?"

He smirked and brushed her hand through his messy hair. Bumama ang tingin niya sa hawak-hawak kong itim na box. His smirk grew even bigger upon seeing the box. What's wrong with him?

"Is that your promenade souvenir?" He asked.

"I think so."

"You should thank me then."

"For what?" I curiously asked.

"For giving you a quality time with your crush. And oh, for making him as your date."

Well, that's true. Chaos became my date that night. Not just my date, but also my first dance and last dance. Sa mga oras na 'yon ay parang gusto ko nalang yakapin nang mahigpit si kuya. Palihim at paulit-ulit ko siyang pinasasalamatan sa aking isipan.

Chaos was quiet all the time, pero kahit tahimik siya ay ramdam ko pa rin ang pagiging gentleman niya. He did not leave my sight, he was so gentle on me, he pulled out a chair for me, and makes me feel like a princess. A real princess.

Yuna was shocked at first upon seeing me with him. She knew what had happened that day. I told her that Chaos has a girlfriend. Hindi siya naniwala noong una dahil mukhang academic oriented daw masyado si Chaos. That's what I thought at first, but I was wrong. Maybe that saying don't judge the book by its cover is true.

Their band, Mythical Glory, was one of our guests that night. And that explains why he was there. Hindi naman pwedeng napadaan lang siya gayong naka-ayos siya at exclussive lang ang event namin. When his co-band members saw me, they immidiately greeted me.

Their band is great. Hindi ko ito sinasabi, o hindi ko sila pinupuri dahil kapatid ko ang isang miyembro. They are really good and passionate in what they're doing. Bakas ang pagmamahal nilang lima sa musika.

I could not take my eyes off to Chaos when he started singing the lyrics. It was like my eyes were perfectly glued to him, to him only. Hindi ko na inalis ang tingin ko sakanya, at hindi ko alam kung namamalikmata lang ako dahil nahuli ko siyang nakatingin din sa akin. Isang beses lang nangyari 'yon, dahil ipinikit niya na ang kanyang mata. I took advantage of it. Mas lalo akong nagkaroon ng lakas ng loob upang matitigan siya.

Pakiramdam ko ay kaming dalawa lang ang nandito. Pakiramdam ko ay hinaharana niya ako kahit na ang totoo ay kumakanta siya para sa amin, at hindi lang para sa akin.

He opened his eyes as he sings the last lyrics of the song, and it gives shivers to my spines. Damn! How can he make me feel this way effortless?

My schoolmates were surprised to see that Chaos, of Mythical Glory was my date. They envy me. It was obvious, and there was a trace of it in their eyes. We became the center of attention when Chaos and I started to dance slowly.

He was looking at me intently and direct into my eyes. Hindi ko alam kung saan ko nakuha ang lakad ng loob upang labanan ang tingin niya sa akin.

"Whatever you are thinking, stop that already," he started. I raised a brow and decided to stay quiet. Anong ibig niyang sabihin? Ano ang dapat ko nang tigilan? Does he know about my attraction towards him? Am I that obvious?

"She's not my girlfriend. Iya, she's my cousin." He continued.

"Why are you telling me this?"

"I don't know either," he almost whispered. "Hindi ko alam kung bakit ako nagpapaliwanag sayo. It's just that I feel obliged to do that."

Hindi na ako muling sumagot sakanya. Hinayaan ko nalang na ang katawan naming dalawa ang mag-usap. Isinayaw din ako ni kuya at ng mga ka-banda niya. Tons of guy invited me, but I refused. I already had enough. Pagod na rin ako at gusto kong si Chaos ang maging last dance ko. That was special for me.

I am crowned as the Prom Queen, and 

really did enjoy my first promenade. Kahit na hindi si Chaos ang naging Prom King ko, para sa akin ay siya pa rin ang nanalo.

"Kuya Art!" I hissed. "They might hear you!"

"Ano naman ngayon?"

"N-nakakahiya," I bit my lower lip and diverted my gaze.

"Nakakahiya, o nakakatakot? Tell me, Azhia, are you afraid that dad might find out your reasons? Na baka hindi ka niya payagan kapag nalaman niyang si Chaos ang dahilan mo kung bakit gusto mong lumipat sa school ko?"

"That's not my reason, Idiot!"

So that explains his accusing looks a while ago. Tingin niya ay sinusundan ko si Chaos. I like him but I am not that desperate. I admit, he was part of my reasons but it's not entirely about him. Their school is one of the best when it comes to academics and building talents.

I rolled my eyes and was about the close the door when he interruped again.

"I'm sorry," he apologized sincerely. "It's just that... damn. Guard your heart, Azhia. I don't want you to be hurt by anyone."

He patted my head and walked away, leaving me dumbfounded.