Inaudible Melodies

Kabanata 7

I have many tasks to do. A bunch of paperwork for the upcoming festival are waving in front of me when I entered the SSC room. I'm weary and these cheered me up stressfully. I need some time to unbend and neglect my duty for a spare rest and take a nap, no?

At idagdag pa ang mga kalokohan ni Lucian. Sa totoo lang, I'm deeply tired of my cousin's deed way back there.

However, I just put these papers in my backpack before walking out of the room. I wanted to check my locker if something is going on out there again, hence, when I got there, my thoughts didn't fail me. It's still amusing for me to receive this kind of treatment. There are many love letters and chocolates scattered down there.

My eyes shifted to the bundle of love letters and mouthwatering chocolates. I bend down, pick it up and hide it inside my bag. I don't know why are they spending huge efforts and making a big deal about these.

There's no unique thing about me, but regardless of that, they didn't quit sending me a lot of stuff. Apart from that, I knew the value of their effort towards this one. After all, it's a waste if these letters and expensive chocolates will just toss away.

I'm a considerate human here.

It's a relief that my classes were canceled. I'm not yet delayed and I still have time to minister my piano classes later. At least, I can make up for it for not showing up yesterday.

I felt troubled about my absence yesterday. Probably because of my mother's wrath?

The more I think of it, the more I'm having a headache.

I was startled when my phone vibrated. A message popped upon it.

Unknown number:

Got your digits. Give me a ring when your class ended.

-Lucian.

I saved his number on my phone. I texted him back that I'm free from any classes today because of the urgent meeting of the faculty.

A few minutes later and I received a text again came from him.

Lucian:

Meet me outside.

I hurriedly arranged my belongings and head out after.

A sudden memory flashed in my mind. The day that my life was almost scarred but if it wasn't because of the man that saved me, certainly I no longer breathe in this world. If only he stays for a minute, I could thank him and give him some compensation.

I owe him my life somehow.

Furthermore, Lucian was leaning against his car- a Ford ranger raptor when I noticed him. He has a gorgeous car, huh? He looks like a badass rebellious prince standing against the mob characters.

I coughed a bit when I met his eyes. I can hear my own heart beating quickly. It seems to me that my heart craved to vanish from my chest and be with him instead.

Ironic how I feel strange in my own body. That weird feeling again that blew me when he's near.

Ah, super duper weird.

He opened the door for me. Did I forget to mention that he's a bit gentleman today? I quietly pretty got in with a tight-lipped.

When I got inside, he turned around to loosen the other door to enter. After that, he started the engine.

Silence engulfed us. I decided to read those letters inside my bag to lessen my boredom. I took those and place them on my lap.

A bunch of confessing words greeted me when I began to flip every paper I'm carrying. It really shocks me how they plucked some courage to say their confession through these pieces.

Admittedly, some love letters are written for no special reason. Even so, letters that say the most mundane things need to have a focus. These letters become convoluted and seemed to be a weak attempt at saying something meaningful and well worth. It wasn't sincere, not even candid to consider.

Words of love just to impress me. Well, I guess what they feel for me was just an infatuation.

"So princess, you have a lot of boys tailing on your shadow, huh?" he mumbled and laughed mockingly.

"Stop calling me names that were out of my league. It's just a friendly letter, Lucian. A letter for me to know their existence in this world." I retorted with a snort at the end of my phrase.

"Friendly letter, huh? Aren't you too dumb to think of that? They sent you letters to confess their unrequited love! That's what boys do, not a man."

I scoffed and spared him a glance.

"Then what men can do that boys can't?" I challenged him.

"Boys watch p**n and masturbate. While men? Nah, they're up to s*x in exchange for pleasure." my lips parted and my jaw almost dropped. I can't believe what I've just heard!

"Please don't say such things again. Save it inside your mind, will you?" napatawa siya nang mapang-asar.

"You're blinded by your own innocence. Hindi mo alam ang totoong mundo, Lea. Because you are caged in your own castle. You are afraid to see how dirty the world is. The world's not cruel, but the people were."

"If you have any sense of decency and respect, you will stop whatever it is you're doing right now. You don't know the facts about me and the dilemma I've been through. You know my name Lucian but not the whole story of my life. Kaya p'wede ba? Tigilan mo 'ko sa mga pinagsasabi mo dahil ni isa wala akong pakialam."

He got his tongue stuck in his mouth. I chose to look at the window. I can't understand Lucian and his statement.

Ang hirap niyang intindihin and when he speaks, all the words that came out from his mouth always taunt me. Lucian is really something that I can't understand. My cousin is a complicated person, that's a fact.

Not waiting for him to open the door for me, I went down and walked straight inward. Our maids greeted me but I didn't spare them a glance because of this feeling that makes me feel so off.

I feel bad about my acts. But nah, I'll deal with them later.

Nagsimula na akong maglakad papunta sa kwarto ko. Lucian happened to be my companion in ascending upstairs. I forgot that the room next to mine that used to be vacant was now his to be invaded.

My room and his walls are swabbing with each other. Absurd, yeah?

I halted in my track when he said something. "I'm sorry." my limbs got frozen, I was caught off guard by his sudden acts.

Lucian appeared to be a mystery to me. One moment, we're okay and after a minute, he'll just bully me using his annoying and hurtful words at the same time. And then boom, there goes his apologetic stuff once more.

He's confusing my mind!

"Be honest and sincere on your sorry next time, Lucian. 'Cause saying sorry was like making the impossible, possible. Even if you repeatedly apologize to me, I know you will do it over and over again. Still cyclical."

He emits a deep sigh.

"You're right. I made a mistake. I'm sorry." he only got a silent nod from me.

I'm in front of my room with an accessible space to go in. I glanced at him and give him a flat smile before closing the door.

I'm not mad. I'm just disappointed, hurt, and upset by his piercing phrase. I didn't know that he thinks so lowly about me, but I know that in the back of my mind, I can understand him.

Perhaps, because we just met the other night? Or probably, our first meeting may have been his foundation to judge me that way.

People are just like that sometimes. They'll judge you because of your appearance, traits, and status in life. They have their unfair verdict even if they didn't know you well.

Lucian, he's making up through apologies yet still being a jerk cousin of mine. His sorry existed like garbage he dumped away.