Sins of the Dreams

Volume 1 - Chapter 21

It's the month of August, the rainy season is beginning to interfere with our daily lives. The school has been suspended for a week and I absolutely don't have anything to do in that span. I am supposed to do our stuff with Bianca and Suede, but now I'm stuck inside the mansion.

Andito rin ang mag-asawa, kaya wala talaga akong takas. Also, I can't go out with that storm havocing the whole town.

Habang paakyat ako sa pangalawang palapag ng mansion, naabutan kong maraming dala-dala si Manang na pagkain na nakalagay sa tray. Napatingin ako sa likod namin at may isa pang kasambahay na may dalang tray. Para saan lahat ng pagkain na 'to? Ang dami naman.

"Mukhang gutom kakain niyan, Manang ah," Pambungad ko sa kaniya.

Tumawa siya nang bahagya at tumayo saglit sa gilid ko upang magpahinga. "Kay Donya Aleja po ito, marami pong request eh. Mayroon pa nga po akong kukuning mga tray sa kusina,"

Halata sa boses ni Manang ang pagod. Wala rin naman akong gagawin, mabuting tulungan ko na lang din siya at nang makausap ko rin si Donya Aleja. "Sige po, Manang. Akin na po 'yan, kunin niyo nalang po 'yung natitirang mga tray doon. Ako na po bahalang mag bigay nito kay mama,"

Lumawak ang ngiti ni Manang sa sinabi ko at tuwang-tuwa niyang ibinigay sa akin ang tray habang nagpapasalamat. Bumalik na siya sa kusina at dumiretso na ako sa kwarto ni Donya Aleja.

I knocked on the door and waited for a few minutes before she finally opened it. She smiled when she saw me and invited me to enter her room.

In the amount of time, I have spent here, I have always noticed that Don Galileo doesn't let his wife wanders without help. And whenever we have gatherings, he always accompanies her. But here are days that she's lucid and not, like the day when I was introduced to the whole town. She's not mentally stable. She's fragile. I wonder if Asea knows what's happening with her mother. Does she know that she's not well? Does she know her situation? It's only been four months since Alani died. The pain is certainly fresh for Donya Aleja.

Walang araw na hindi sumasagi sa utak ko si mama. Ibang klaseng kabog sa dibdib ang nararamdaman ko kapag naiisip kong maaring may masamang nangyari sa kaniya. I can't imagine Asea not worrying about her mother like that. Or maybe we just have different relationships with our mothers, so I can't really judge her. I don't know their story.

I placed the tray on the table next to the couch. She's sitting on her bed, facing the door glass. Silently watching the storm with her two hands laying down on her thighs. I haven't finished reading Alani's diary, but I am sure her mother was so dear to her. She meant the world to her and maybe so was Donya Aleja. No parent should have buried their child.

Huminga ako nang malalim bago ko napagdesisyunang yayain na siyang kumain ng tanghalian Niya. "Ma, you should eat your lunch. You requested these foods, right?" As I said, there are days when she is lucid and she is not and unfortunately, this day is not.

Bumaling ang malambot niyang tingin sa akin. "Have you always feel that something part of you is missing?"

My words started to stutter. I wasn't sure what to say. Am I wrong, is she lucid right now?

She pats the space on the bed beside her. I innocently obliged and waited for her next directions. I have been relying on myself since I have started living in Manila. Always have to make my own decisions. It's been a long time since I have genuinely followed someone's authority, maybe that's why I'm acting like this. I am craving for a mother's guide.

She started to stroke my hair and hum a song that I'm not familiar with. My body stiffed. What the hell am I supposed to do?

"Your hair is so soft. I like it," she compliments.

I smiled and let her do what she's doing.

"I remember Alani have the same hair as yours. Soft and silky. Are you my daughter, too?"

I didn't answer for a few seconds, but she was waiting for it so I had to mouth "uhuh". When I felt that everything is not okay and realized I might trigger her, I immediately stood up and went for her food. I can't do it. I can't lie to her.

Kinuha ko ang tray at inilagay iyon sa gilid niya. Sinubukan kong ihanda ang mga pagkain para mapadali na lamang sa kaniya.

"I remember when I stole Alani, her mother had the same hair too," and she chuckled, not understanding what she just said.

Oh my God.

But before I could react, the door opened and Manang and her colleagues entered the room. They placed some of the trays on the table and some next to her. I was stunned by what she said that I couldn't even assist Manang and others anymore. Should I believe the words of a woman who lost her sanity?

That's a horrible thing to say.

"Maraming salamat, Ma'am Asea," ani Manang sa akin.

Hindi ko alam kung tama ba ang ginawa kong ngiti sa kaniya bago ko sila iwan, pero ginawa ko nalang ang makakaya kong ngiti habang iniintindi ko ang sinabi ni Donya Aleja.

Alani is adopted.

Tumakbo ako papunta sa kwarto ko at doon inisip ang posibilidad na totoo nga ang hula ko. If this is true. Everything will make sense.

Don Galileo killed Alani because Alani would have inherited the wealth of this family, but he couldn't accept that someone that doesn't share their blood would have to luxuriate from it. But Keziah knew about it too, that's why she was receiving death threats weeks after Alani was killed. He was trying to silence Keziah and succeeded. This, this all because of money. Lives have been wasted because of money. Money started this mess.

I supposed Money is indeed the root of evil.