The facts: - Cohen keeps breaking spatulas, either by force or by throwing them at walls - Kaito's height remains an inconvenience for their average-sized apartment to properly accommodate him - Gwen drops in and out all the time and no one's really sure if she's in a cult or has a really bad relationship with settling down in one home - Anderson likes to shower and scream Broadway songs at consistently 5.30 every morning and he had been sued from twenty different people in one week that the Dean had gone from punitive actions to restorative methods in trying to find a solution - Their group chat is called Guinevere and the three knights and it's been the same one for three years

“Okay, so I'm going to pretend to date you so that it makes my parents happy, and you'll pretend to date me so that you can win this bet that you're in…except…I think that I actually kind of like you…” AU