Let me tell you seven ways how not to screw up a wedding. One. Don't show up late. Apparently, it takes the attention off the bride. Two. Don't be pretty. Being pretty means you'll get noticed. And that will take attention off the bride. Three. Don't smile. Smiling will make people notice you. And we definitely don't want that. Four. Don't frown either. We don't want anyone thinking you're against the wedding. Five. Don't reject anyone's advances. Cause apparently, weddings are meant for other weddings to happen. Six. Don't hit a guy because he groped you. Your breasts are apparently not private property and are free for all to touch. Seven. Ignore this list.