A twisted twist on the real kind of man. Twisted and a beautiful disaster. All for you. I hate how you leaving has affected me so long and so hard. I hate myself now. I hate you as much as I love you.

I lost it all. The world I knew came crashing down on me. I never felt such pain in my heart and I have been through alot of pain in my life. this topped the pain and the anguish was unstoppable to my broken heart, the shards stabbing me still when I think too much about it. The sadness is still there, the astonishment, the hell, the disbelief. How could you want her when you could have me???? Explain it to me, please. I don't quite get the picture, but I know it's true. But I also know he loves me, he wants me I know this is true as well. We almost had it all, I never even thought any different, never crossed my mind. the breakup of our marriage is still a mystery to me. how could he? how could he blame me and say bad things about me, how could he ever do that to me?