Ruthless and MineUpdated at Jul 27, 2026, 15:02
Redna Cussain
What happens when love becomes the very reason the heart shuts down? I never knew a mom like other kids knew or spoke of. And when I finally did, it was a nightmare. Then there's the man who had my heart and whose love I thought belonged to none other but me, what a fool I was! The only thing he clearly gave a f*ck about was having his c*ck slide in and out of my mother's throat.
Look at me now, twenty-two, broke early-stage blood cancer with two life-threatening lumps, and with a child that isn't even mine, all alone.
For how long shall I continue to endure? How much more of the manipulation, shame, lies, and deception can I take before I finally break?
Cyi Dubonne
I broke her, and I lost her, and I swear I would tear myself apart just to hear her even whisper my name again. I've spent the past half-decade as a shadow of my own self. She saw me, Redna, my starling, and I deserve to die. She saw me with her, the devil that caused it all. I should have avoided her, I should have said no. But that night was the worst night of my life and I will detest myself until I die for what I did. I've been trying to reach her, to kneel, bleed, if that's what it takes to have her back.
How will this end? What if I never find her again? Breathing feels like a punishment because she's all I have to live for. Will she even forgive me for all I did to her? Is she okay wherever she is now? Will I ever have her back and if I do, will she stay with me? Can I save her from what's coming? Healing takes time and I don't care if it costs me my lifetime. There's so much for her to learn before it's too late. Even rotting roses leave a seed.