I sometimes wonder about the fairness in living. Is it only me or does everyone feel the same way; that the earth is such a chaotic place, everything here is just unfair and injustice can easily be found anywhere around us? My name is Alissa, an ordinary 20-year-old girl who still live under my parents’ roof. Just like most of the other teens (yes I consider myself as a teen because the passage to adulthood sucks too much), I love to compare and compete. I can scroll through TikTok and Instagram all day, watching how easily Kourtney Kardashian bought an Aston Martin just because her second kid’s name is Aston while I can barely afford sushi for dinner. It seems unfair to see how they are having an apparently much better life than mine. Ugh, I feel more miserable the more I scroll through social media. It is such a toxic yet addicting place to be. The thoughts of “I wish I’d been born in their environments” had consumed me most of the time. Nonetheless, I still pray and thank God every night for every blessing I have. It’s not that I’m being ungrateful, but I can’t seem to enjoy my life completely without the need to compare. I believe most of the teens are like that too, am I wrong? What makes me a little bit “different” from the others; although in a negative way; is that I am suicidal. I hurt and cut myself when I cry so much that I can’t breathe, definitely not for the attention; if that’s what you’ve been wondering. So, when did all of this start to happen? In this book, I’m going to tell you the story of my life, specifically about how the terrible decisions were made, and how they have shaped me into the person I am today.