When I was a young I always dreamt of having a guy sweep me off my feet, someone who would take me away and love me unconditionally without fail. But that’s just child’s play, it’s an unrealistic dream that I coped with because of my difficult upbringing, the trauma that I didn’t need as a child and a family that I didn’t need to grow up with. Everything from my childhood was difficult, from my hair color to the way I dress was planned and dictated to me, everything needs to be meticulously planned, I don’t need to have an opinion because it was all thought out for me, I have to watch how my face reacts because it’s a reflection of my family, and no matter what I do, where I go and what I think, they will know – I knew that there was no man out there to save me, that’s why I ran away.

"I'm sorry too." I whispered at him. I hugged him tightly that night while we fell asleep. I knew he was going back to New York tomorrow and I didn't want to get in his way, I knew whatever we had we could always have it and even though it wouldn't develop into something more it was better this way. A thought of what might've been, we could leave it right here and smile as we remember a distant memory from this day. I left him sleeping and went home, my hand froze on the stirring wheel thinking how stupid I was for leaving him without a word, but I knew that if I didn't, I would ruin us-- because, I was a relationship wrecker, everything I touch turns to ash, and ashes are meant to be blown in the wind, lost and never be seen forever. I didn't want that to happen to us. With a single glance at the hotel I drove away.