Alphas Bound By One

Beginning

I sit in my office, staring down at a patient's file. I have had a hard time focusing all day long, and the lack of sleep is starting to weigh on me, canceling my morning appointments because I didn't sleep well last night. I didn't want my patients to suffer from my loss of focus. I have been feeling off for the past week, and nightmares were haunting me as I slept. Closing the patient's file on my desk, I hit the intercom on my desk phone. Listening to it buzz with no answer. Where in the world was Liz? I got up and headed towards my door. I went to turn the doorknob, and I jolted back when it burst open. I was clenching my chest and panting heavily as I stare Liz in the face.

"So sorry! What did you need?" Liz asked.

"It's fine. I need you to reschedule the rest of my day, please. I will be here this Friday, so you can add patients to then if their schedules allow."

"Is everything ok?

You have been quiet today?"

"Fine," I answered curtly. 

Liz just nodded as she walked out the door. She turned back and reached in for the doorknob, closing it behind her. Liz was a pleasant receptionist, but sometimes I wondered how she got anything done. She was young and still in school. Liz only worked for me part-time but seemed to be distracted most of the time.

She was a very disorganized person, and that flustered me to no end. I was continually searching for something because nothing was ever in the same spot. My filing system had gone to hell the moment I hired Liz, but I didn't have a choice. Running a small practice was easy, though, without a receptionist, I spent all my time in this building. Finding good help in the city was nearly impossible. Everyone was trying to find their big break. New York was very much a city that drew in all sorts of people. Most of which were looking for their big break in some way or fashion. I wasn't sure how I ended up in the city, and the more I thought about it. I wasn't sure when I moved to Manhattan, I just can't think of a time of not being here. I was experiencing blank spots in my memory that were disconcerting. It was as if I had spaces in my mind that told me memories existed, but they were fuzzy. When

I tried to recall times in my past like a childhood memory, or when I was in school, an image would flash in my mind, though I got a sense that it wasn't factual. I wasn't a surgeon, so lapses in my memory weren't dire to my job. 

However, being a psychotherapist, my job required me to be at the top of my game. I kept notes of all my sessions with patients, but lately, I have had to record them so that I could focus better. I wasn't quickly retaining information like I should have been. Later this evening, I would be visiting with a Neurologist, but I got antsy with all the waiting. I tried to distract myself by going over my patient list for tomorrow's schedule. I noticed a name on my calendar that wasn't familiar to me. Liz always put charts on my desk for the day's schedule and then the next day on the table by my window. I was gazing out the window, trying to rack my mind for the patient's name. I was coming up blank, and I couldn't find a chart for him. I had been practicing for over two years, and my practice had grown immensely in that time. Being the only one in my practice, I couldn't take on any new patients right now. So why in the world did I have someone new on my schedule?

I got up and headed towards the reception area, and I needed to find out who this person was.

"Liz, who is the gentleman on my schedule for tomorrow?" I tried to keep my voice calm.

"Which one? You have a full schedule for tomorrow."

"Greyson Sawyer?" I questioned.

I was starting to lose my patients with her as she stared at me, completely confused. Liz was the one who managed my schedule, how could she not know who I was talking about?

"Oh, he called yesterday. He said that he was referred and that his appointment was very urgent. I told him you were not excepting new patients. He said that the person who referred him said he could be seen no matter what."

I was trying to think of who in the world would say I would see someone no matter what. I could see the confusion and concern that laced Liz's face.

     I was growing impatient by the moment, but I knew that wasn't entirely due to Liz and her carelessness. If someone was going to get in the last minute, she really should have cleared it with me. Not wanting to get into an argument over her lack of organization and curtesy skills right now, I let the frustration go.

"Who referred him?" I asked more curtly than intended.

"Dr. Scott Lucas. Is everything ok?" Liz was fidgeting with her fingers, nervous energy radiating off her.

"It will have to be. Please make sure to check with me before any other new patients get added. I don't care if someone does refer them."

I turned on my heels and walked back into my office, shutting the door behind me. I headed towards the window and stared out at the busy hustle of Manhattan. I felt terrible for being so stern with Liz, but she needed to realize her errors. If I were going to keep Liz on for the help, we would have to sit down for a discussion on my expectations.

      I didn't want to be a boss who dictated things, but I also didn't want to double the work because Liz was continually making mistakes. I turned as the intercom on my desk phone started to buzz. I didn't make a move towards it because I was unsure if I could handle another conversation with Liz right now. The buzzing stopped, and I sighed with relief as I went back to gazing out the window. Then far too soon, the damn phone started to buzz again.

"Yes," I quipped.

"Dr. Scott Lucas is on line one for you." Liz's voice shakily said.

"Have all the patients for the rest of the day been rescheduled?"

"Yes, of course."

"Great. That will be all for you today, Liz, I will see you in the morning. Please put Dr. Lucas through."

I sat and waited for line one to light up so that I could have a few choice words with the good doctor.

      I was getting ready to intercom Liz back, wondering what was going on. Then the line lit up, and I took a long deep breath before answering. It would be better for me to calm myself down before talking with Scott. He was my best resource at getting referrals, and I didn't want him to think I wasn't grateful.

"Scott, how are you?" I asked with a smile on my face.

"Lily, I am doing well, thank you. How have you been?" I could hear the smile on his face.

"Well, thank you. How can I help you today?"

"Straight to business, I would like to be surprised, but that would be a lie. You haven't been around lately, and I miss seeing that pretty face of yours."

Hearing Scott say that made my stomach turn! Scott had become a good friend when I went through the hospital for my residency. That, however, was where it ended for me!