Darkest Desires

CHAPTER 6: A DARK SIDE

I never denied the fact that he was attractive but it never affected me in the slightest before. Any emotions he evoked from me were nothing close to lust.

"I think it's best I leave" I tore my eager eyes away and noticed the large portrait picture of a beautiful woman that hang above his bed, she looked to be in her thirties.

She was dressed in white and had this enigmatic smile, it almost made me want to smile. Her eyes looked bright and happy they also had an uncanny resemblance to Ethans' minus the happiness.

"you can stay the night" he shrugged.

Agitation flooded through me and I swallowed hard. I was seeing red and when he approached me and towered over me, my heart was just about ready to bolt.

"breathe" he whispered, his breath lingered just above my lips and I felt my insides quiver that was the first time ever I had felt that way about Ethan, one thing I knew for sure was it wasn't going to be the last!

End of previous chapter.

When I woke up on a bed I didn't recognize, with an intense scent that filtered through my nose, I almost thought I had been kidnapped but then the events of yesterday came crushing in like a cataclysmic reality. I felt tears well up in my eyes. Lily and I weren't talking, Lily and I argued! Not to mention I was in the bed of the very initiator of our profound break up. I wasn't putting the entire blame on him, but he played a pivotal role, if his goal was to make me friendless he certainly achieved it.

I was upset with myself for letting him talk me into spending the night, actually he didn't talk me into sleeping here.

When he approached me yesterday, shirtless, his scent invading my breathing space and asking that I spend the night, it was only for the sake of him because he didn't want to drive me home and he actually wanted my mother to get the wrong ideas.

He was definitely out to ruin my reputation, when I realized he was intending on leaving me alone, I was just about ready to knee him in the nutsicles and call for a cab. But I realized I didn't have my phone and angering him wouldn't work in my favour.

Apparently he had a party to attend at Natalie's house. It only made sense that he'd go. The teenage life most of my colleagues were living was not for me, after the pool incident I had vowed to never attend any party especially one that involved Natalie and Ethan. He locked me in his room and left, yes he left me alone in his dark room. After I cried a little more about Lily and how my life was slowly crumbling down, I succumbed to a weeping induced slumber.

So here I was, trying to recap and emotionally catch up with everything that had occurred.

When the bathroom door swung open, my heart beat ceased. But when I saw the figure emerge from the bathroom it only made my breathing worse.

It was Ethan, only clad in a towel that hang low around his waist. Water dripping down the hardness of his chest and disappearing into the V, I felt my tongue dart out to lick my lips. I surely wasn't attracted to him. Was I?

I was trying to reassure myself, because heck the last thing I wanted was to feel any emotions towards him other than contempt, the fear I was doing well to hide.

When did he even get back? I never heard him come back was I that exhausted?

"I'll be taking you home soon virgin" he swaggered to the dark dresser and opened a few drawers in search of something.

A part of me was dreading the idea of going home, home meant I'd spend the rest of the afternoon finishing homework and stressing over Lily. I didn't want to do either, but I also didn't want to be around him, nothing good has come from being anywhere near ten feet of him. But what choice did I have? I had to go home and try to explain to my mother why I hadn't shown up, this marked the first time I had ever spent a night away from home and I wasn't at Lilys'. Who in the hell am I becoming?

"listen virgin, I don't introduce girls to my c**k unless we are about to f**k so I suggest you head downstairs and make yourself acquainted with the kitchen" I was ready to retort to his snarky words but then he added.

"but then you're not my type anyway" there was always something in the way his words left his mouth that always found a way to hurt me.

As if I wasn't dealing with enough he wanted to dunk a bucket of insecurities on my head.

No! I wouldn't let him get to me, I was better than this I knew I was. I ignored his statements and left the room, padding down the stairs.

For a moment I considered the breakfast but heck I didn't want to stay in this house one more minute, I had experienced enough Ethan to suffice for a few months in just a number of hours. So I left. I just trudged out of the door and walked out of the yard, I didn't care about the distance. I wanted to walk away from all the confusion and commotion that had happened immediately he arrived.

***

It took me forty-five minutes but I made it, and I was extremely exhausted by the time, I opened the door to the house. It was silent, of course I wasn't expecting my mother to be home. Lately her work was her home, I was getting the sense that a part of us was lost. My mom and I weren't the closest but we always made time for one another over the years, we began to lose that.

Now it felt like the only time she would come to my aid was when I was in a life and death situation, that seemed to be the only way to get her attention. I didn't understand why the sudden distance had come around but ever since she returned from visiting my grandparents it only became worse. I suddenly ached for my father, some memories of him were becoming a blur but I still felt the deep connection to him. I missed him so much.

When I went up to my room, I was half expecting to find a body laying on my bed. I finally felt myself breathe when I realized that wasn't going to happen. I rushed over to my phone and found a few messages from Lily for a moment I thought maybe she texted to apologize but when I looked at the time they were sent it was before the argument. Part of me was itching to just text her and tell her how sorry I was but another was still furious and heartbroken, she betrayed me after all.

After I had showered I spent the entire afternoon cleaning, doing laundry and finally homework. It's amazing how much work you could get done when your thoughts are completely centered else where.

At some point I had fallen asleep and when the ringing of my phone broke me out of slumber I wanted to curse the damn person calling. I ignored it and continued my sleep, whoever it was would have to wait. There's very few things I would choose over sleep, one of them was Lily but now that I think about it that option was currently thrown out of the window.

***

"don't ignore my calls, virgin" it was a breathy whisper against my ear. My eyes flew open and were greeted with a deathly stare of Ethans' grey eyes. I scrambled backwards on the bed, nearly falling. The blood rushing through my veins, was practically audible.

"what the hell are you doing here?" it came out strained. My eyes blinked a few times to fully take in his image, he was standing by the window. In his usual black get up this time he was in a dress shirt with a few buttons undone exposing part of his chest, I had to admit to myself that he was definitely attractive, but like I said before I didn't want to feel anything remotely related to lust when it came to him.

It wasn't like I wanted him anyway I was just merely admitting the fact.

"you ran away this morning" he spoke calmly and a part of me felt chills ripple through my skin. The fact that he was calm was the more reason to feel afraid.

Remember Elena, fake it till you make it, you can't let him think you're afraid, at some point the pretence will become the truth. It has to.

"what did you expect to find breakfast?" I retorted, a small smirk spread over his plump lips. In a deft manner he placed his right knee on my bed and every instinct inside my body was telling me to scramble for my life.

I began a retreating motion moving backwards my chances of falling down were high but those were the chances I was willing to take. Nothing in the way his menacing gaze traveled over my body told me I was safe, not like they ever did.

"what are-

" ah!" Ethan pulled both my legs and impaled them under his weight in a straddling way, while I was trying to struggle out nearly almost slapping him he bound my hands above my head. A whimper unintentionally escaped my mouth and my breathing became laboured.

What the hell was he doing? My chest began to heave making my breathing all the more difficult, if he wanted me to pass out this was one way to go at it.

The inquisition of why he had me bound like this was already eating at me. My brain coming up with its own numerous ideas none of which ultimately added up. I was getting sick of being Ethan's go to girl for torment, was this the lesson he was talking about when he threatened me, it felt more like torture than something I'd gain a lesson from. Or maybe the essence wasn't to teach me a lesson that I'd learn from, probably one that would just scar me.

"Ethan please stop" I struggled against his hold, but it was unyielding. I had no idea what he wanted to do but I wasn't a fan of bodily harm and this felt like it would go that way.

"relax virgin, I won't hurt you. Not now anyway" I felt my own eyes bug out and chills ride through my spine. Not now anyway what did that mean?! He wanted to hurt me at some point. Panic settled in the pit of my gut unhinging a swirl of nerves, this boy was nuts. There was no way in hell I'd let him cause harm to me, I was not.

"I'm never going to allow you to hurt me" I said gritting my teeth, I felt my own anger and annoyance increase, he'd have to kill me if he thinks I'm going to let him lay a finger on me.

Well technically he had already laid a finger on me but not in the pain causing way.

"I'm not going to need your permission, you'll actually beg me to harm you and I'll enjoy every minute of it" this time a full grin spread wide showing his neat teeth, and a somewhat self satisfied look. A glint of what I assumed was amusement lingered in the grey of his eyes.

That's the day I fully saw the other side of him, the side that had practically taken over his soul, the side of him that had woken up and desired to harm. It was clear to me that one way or another, I was never going to survive this he'd hurt me eventually.

"do you want to know a fun fact about yourself?" his grip on my wrists tightened, my legs felt paralysed considering his weight was practically pinning them.

"what?"

"you're a heavy sleeper" he sheepishly stared at me. While I felt my features contort in confusion.

"what do you mean?" I breathed. Using his free hand he fished out his phone from his back pocket and after what felt like an eternity he turned it over to me.

Everything went numb in a blink of an eye, my blood ran cold and goosebumps were accompanied by chills that ran from all over my body.

It couldn't be, how could this happen? How? My eyes frantically scanned the phone.

It was a picture of me when I was in his bed, but my chest was exposed, my very own t**s were on display and he saw them! He did this? Was that another reason he wanted me to stay so he could violate my person and have the audacity to take pictures.

He swiped through the numerous pictures of me laying like that shirt undone, even a close one that exposed the little birth mark I had under my right tit. I felt like I couldn't breathe, the room suddenly became stifling. Dread was winding up in my body making me feel ten times worse.

Tears trickled down the side of my face.

"why would you do that? Why would you violate me in such a despicable inhumane way?" my voice was strained probably with the fact that I was crying now.

"maybe because I am inhumane has that fact ever occurred to you."

"did you touch them? When you took those pictures did you dare touch my breasts?" I was blinking away tears, while wondering how much emotional strain one had to suffer for just existing.

A smile appeared on his features as he put the phone back in his pocket, everything in his eyes told me yes I didn't even need to hear the word uttered from his mouth I knew it. I knew.

"well they are a nice looking pair of t**s, how could I not. But trust me it was only in the process of getting rid of your shirt, like I told you Elena you aren't my type" that much so I believed, he never lied to me anyway and his eyes never failed to send the signal that he was disgusted by me. But it wasn't like it made the situation any less painful and humiliating.

"I hate you!" I bit out loudly I could feel all the raw anguish and frustration that had built up be released in those three words. I hated him, I hadn't felt hate slice me that deep. But I hated every inch of him with every nerve in my body.

"I figured you would, now listen. When I order you to do something you do it. Any hesitation and I could have those pictures sent to every single person in school and anyone else who knows you, including your mother, defy me again and I'll ruin your life with just a snap to top it off I'll end your mother's career. Understood." he c****d his head to one side, no flicker of emotion in his eyes to tell me otherwise.

I felt a lamp form on my throat making breathing hard, I was about to cry yet again. No he doesn't deserve to see me cry, it will only assure him that he's won. I willed in a steadying breath and nodded.

"say you understand" he lowered his head to my ear, whispering the words. Closing my eyes I willed in more air in my lungs.

"I understand Ethan"

"Master" he grunted.

"what?" I asked perplexed, searching his ice cold grey eyes.

"when we are alone, you address me as Master" a sardonic smile tagged at his lips.

Master! He really wanted me to call him master like I was his slave or something. Is that what he thought? That I would be some slave girl who would answer to him on beck and call? That's what he was trying to make me?

"Elena" he urged calmly, trailing a finger between my sternum. It almost felt like a cold, sharp knife was what was being pressed against my skin. Oh goodness this is a nightmare.

"I understand Master" I let out, finally breathing when his finger left my body. In a swift move he was off me and standing firmly on the floor.

"good girl" his gaze traveled along the length of my body before he smirked devilishly and walked out.

It only took me three minutes and I was breaking down again. I couldn't tell anyone about this, not Lily, not my mother, no one because one way or another he'd find a way to bring more harm. I was suddenly aching for my father, he always knew what to say whenever I was balled up crying. He'd smooth my hair and tell me I was the bravest, strongest girl he knew and girls like that don't cry they rise up and over come anything.

Oh how wrong he was, I was a coward I couldn't even help myself I couldn't rise to the occasion dad, I'm not strong, I'm not brave either you were wrong! The heart crushing mental shout rippled through my body and left me feeling breathless and weak.

When my phone rang, I felt my body go stiff in an instant mentally cursing how Ethan had driven my entire system to act like this. I prayed it wasn't Ethan calling, I couldn't handle hearing him again.

Luckily it wasn't, but it wasn't like the person calling was any better. It was Stephen part of me was wondering why in the name of fudge didn't I block his number, maybe because I couldn't bring myself to do it. I decided to pick up and get it over with.

"Elena, hey" Elena hey that was the best he could do. I rolled my eyes and decided not to retort, I was still reeling in the torment of Ethan. I still couldn't believe he did that, I never thought he'd go to such lengths, it only assured me of one thing, his words weren't to be taken lightly. This also meant I had to find a way to get myself out of this maddening situation.

"Hello" I forgot I was still on call with Stephen, that's how much Ethan was preoccupying my mind.

"hi" my voice came out small and I realized how stupid I was for answering the call. He'd realize I was crying.

"why are you crying?" the concern was evident in his words. But I didn't want it, even if it was genuine anything that was related to reminding me that he cared only hurt more.

"it's nothing"

"I know you Elena"

"it doesn't matter Stephen, why did you call?" I rebuffed his remark because it wasn't like he was going to change anything. If anything I felt he was going to make matters worse.

"I want to apologize" he sighed.

"apology accepted" I replied and just when I was about to cut the call a text appeared.

*save my number. Now*

I immediately cut the call. I couldn't shake off the sense that Ethan was monitoring me, he conveniently texted just when I was on a call with Stephen. I didn't want to forgive Stephen just yet but of course I'd accept his apology, but that didn't mean I'd forgive him. My mind ran back to what Lily said, he didn't choose me, he chose someone he could have all the s*x with. I didn't want him anymore, after all I didn't need any apologies and forgiveness was definitely not on the table right now.

I saved Ethans number and immediately switched my phone off. I wasn't interested in having a conversation with either of them, they both scarred and hurt me one worse than the other.

I was sure no one else would try to communicate with me, cause my phone only held about seven contacts, like you heard before Lily is my only friend well was I don't even know what we are now.

My contacts only consisted of Lily, my mom, Stephen, Lilys' mother, my grandmothers, James and now Ethan was on the list.

***

The past two days of school felt like hell, firstly I had to start driving myself to school because Lily was always the one to pick me up and drop me off. Now I had to put my driving skills to test, skills I last used during my driving test. I despised driving, a part of me just feared the car filled roads. Thoughts of how my father died would crawl into my head and cause anxiety that normally made it harder for me to concentrate. But what could I do now? I was thankful this was the last week of school and summer would start soon, even though I knew everything was most likely going to fall apart this summer.

To top it off through out the entire days Lily and I were both ignoring each other. I hardly saw her after classes and during lunch I would go hide out in the library. I couldn't believe this is how our friendship was dying.

If Ethan hadn't just said a word I was better off not knowing what she had done. Now I was the lonely friendless girl, Lily had Tobias and I had no one.

Ethan hadn't even bothered to look or talk to me for these past days not that I was complaining because I wanted to stab him in the nuts. Although, I always felt like he might be lurking at the very next corner or was just waiting for the perfect opportunity to humiliate me further. The library was becoming my go to place, at least I'd lose myself in the world of fiction for a few minutes.

When I heard the final bell ring I didn't hesitate to make quick on my feet and make for the doors. I was trying to evade meeting Ethan or anything remotely related to him like Natalie. Just the mention of her name made bile rise in my throat.

"why are you in such a rush sweet lips" I felt a hand grip my arm and I knew the only person who ever called me sweet lips was Jared McClain. For some reason he always did Natalie's bidding and would be the one to spread rumours about me in school especially to all the boys.

I wasn't in the mood for his antics and his disgusting name calling, he had always called me sweet lips ever since that incident last year. Its like no one ever called me by my name in this school.

"Jared just leave me alone" I yanked my arm away, trying to not cause any attention to myself but some eager eyes were already watching. I didn't need this not right now.

A cocky look spread through his features, and that stupid smile on his face made me want to kick him where it would hurt the most.

"Come on sweet lips, one blow job won't hurt"

I didn't hesitate and I moved with such quick precision there was no way he would have anticipated it. I made sure my knee carried enough force and in one deft move I hit his crotch so had I heard the puff of air leave his body.

I didn't take any chances I just walked out, just when I passed through the door ignoring the curses and whispers that came from Jared and the rest of the students. I heard someone call out my name.

"Elena!" I knew that voice, it was Damien. The last I saw of him was at Ethans' - Tobias' party when he just walked away.

I stopped right infront of my car and stared at him, what could he possibly want? I wasn't exactly in the mood nor was I in the right mind, right now I wanted to flee and crawl under my bed.

"yes" I insisted as he paced over to where I was stationed.

"what happened in there?" his eyes searched my own like the answer was somewhere in there. I tore from his inquisitive gaze only because I found it hard to maintain focus.

"he had it coming" I folded my arms and stared off in the distance.

"I didn't know you had it in you" I looked up at him and saw the amusement linger in his eyes. Why does everyone think that? The only reason I never dared to do anything about Jared was because of how I did my best to ignore the rumors. Of which I knew Natalie was the initiator but today I had had enough of his name calling and his constant demands for a blow job, instead I just gave a blow to his d**k in the way it should be done.

"well there's a lot you don't know about me" I half smiled.

"you're right. I'm sorry by the way for how I left last time"

"it's fine, I was confused with the entire situation to be honest" it was like him and Ethan had some history that much was deductible.

"just forget it. I wanted to ask you something" he smiled and I felt my stomach flip.

"which is?"

"will you go out with me?" for a moment, those words didn't register quick enough in my head because my ears probably didn't want to believe it. Damien was asking me out? Me the lonely plain Jane. He had to be joking there was no way in hell he'd have an interest in me, but then I remembered what he said last time. He usually came to the library to look for me, he said he wanted to ask me something. Was this it?

"okay you can stop joking now. We both know I'm not your type" I mentally rolled my eyes.

He had to have ulterior motives did Ethan put him up to this but no him and Ethan weren't on good terms. Heck could he really be speaking the truth.

"and how do you know what my type is?" he looked a bit offended and folded his arms, making them appear more mascular.

"isn't it obvious people like you and I don't mix, you deserve girls who look like Natalie or Melanie or something" I waved my hands in the air for emphasis.

"who's Melanie? And quite frankly those aren't my type Elena. You're my type"

Did I seriously mention Melanie I mentally slapped myself for it. How could those not be his type, was he blind? He was the handsome, good at everything kind of guy who went for the pretty, long legged blonde chic. So let's face the facts I wasn't any of those things.

"never mind. I just don't think you're thinking right I'm not the girl for you" I rebuffed him, in dire need to dismiss the topic.

"Elena you're the one I want" I finally looked at his brown eyed face, cursing how gorgeous he was. There might have been a sense of honesty in his words but I was doing him a favour. I was a mess, not to mention I was the least attractive option in this school for him.

I opened my car door and got in. Trying to stuff down the unsettling dread and agony that was filling deep inside my gut.

"I'm doing you a favor Damien" I voiced out, starting the car. I tried to not be affected by the look of disappointment on his face, but he was better off without me. I wasn't about to place myself in a situation where I knew I'd only get hurt. I've had enough not to mention I was still enduring so much.

Just when matters couldn't get any worse. A text showed up and it was none other than the perverted sonofabitch that was out to get me.

*My house in less than 25min*

Was he crazy?! No let me rephrase that he's crazy! How the hell was I going to drive there in such a short matter of time, Ethan didn't necessarily live close to the school.

Another text buzzed on my phone but this time my mother was the one who texted me.

*I'll be back by Friday sweetie. Love you*

I felt my heart slump, I hadn't even seen her since the day I spent a night at Ethan's and now she was leaving. Plus if Ethan finds out about this, I know he'd use it to his advantage. The life I was suddenly thrown into was anything beyond my expectations.