Darkest Desires

CHAPTER 7: DIVINE TORTURE

I was barely able to make it in twenty three minutes, my heart wasn't handling that well but I ignored it and the knots in my stomach. There was a tingle that was riding through my skin it made me all the more nervous. I didn't know why I was nervous but I considered it to be my Spidey sense telling me nothing about this visit was going to go right.

I got out of my car mentally cursing Ethan and the fact that I was back to driving, the stress of being on the road seemingly adding to my already overworked mind.

I ignored my emotions and passed by the little bed of roses I hadn't seen last time I was here, I knocked twice on the door before I heard footsteps and rustling.

I was just about ready to make back for my car, why was I even here? knowing for well the lengths Ethan was willing to go to. But again that was precisely why I couldn't stay away. He didn't have the right to control my life this much, no one did especially someone as emotionally detached as Ethan.

I had to find a way to get rid of the pictures he had, not that he'd stop threatening me because heck I knew Ethan still had my mother to threaten me with, but at least she'd be the the only thing. But something in my gut told me he'd find other means, no matter what he was fixated on controlling me.

The door finally opened and I stared at the boy who had not only ravaged my vulnerability but also assumed control over my existence.

His hair was a mess, hanging in ringlets above his right eye, his stare was cold and complacent and gave me a view of which Ethan I was dealing with today, definitely not the good one, oh wait there was no good one. The light stubble that had him looking like a man seemed almost thicker.

He was dressed in black jeans that little silver chain dangling out and a long sleeved linen shirt with a few buttons undone. I know fashion knows no weather but hell it was scorching outside, and he was in black!

I willed my eyes to stop ogling him before he could call me out on my s**t and stared at his face instead.

Not that it helped calm my nerves, Ethan was attractive there was no denying that. I was also now confused about how my body felt towards him, in the past he didn't evoke anything in me but the weird feelings. Now I couldn't say it was the same, a part of me had started to feel the effect he had on my body ever since that night I slept here.

I stuffed down the thoughts and did my best to breathe.

"took you long enough" he finally spoke, turning his back to me as he walked back in.

just run back to the car my subconscious suggested. The offer was tempting, however, I didn't want to give Ethan more reason to haunt me by appearing in the dark like the grim ripper ready to devour my soul.

"you don't necessarily live close to school you know" I gripped walking in and closing the door. I didn't move from the door as I watched him make his way to the kitchen, maybe out of fear or just needing the much desired distance from him.

There was a half eaten sandwich on the counter and I figured I'd disturbed his meal, not that I felt awful or anything. Considering he was disrupting my entire life.

"take a seat" he gestured towards the patented bar stool beside him.

"no thank you I'd rather stand" I scoffed. Actually I'd rather stab my toe than be near you, especially when I knew I had a choice of staying away.

In just a fraction his expression hardened, his jaw clenched hard enough to change his facial features. His stare became cold sending a chill down my back and everything in that moment pointed to danger. Every instinct told me to run and just when my eyes saw him get up from the stool my hands instinctively clutched the knob.

I barely managed to get it open before I felt his arms strongly wrap around me binding my own arms, my legs went flailing as I struggled against him.

"let me go, are you crazy?!" I yelled when he started moving towards the stairs.

"I may be" he grunted. I almost forgot I was dealing with a deluded, sadistic, maniac.

When he dumped me onto the bed I nearly bounced off, my eyes caught a glimpse of his satisfaction before I finally managed to find my bearing. I was clinging to the hem of my dress cursing myself for wearing one today. I contemplated kneeing him real hard on his c**k, he needed a good stab in the nutsicles. I was hoping and praying luck would be on my side but heck I knew better. I knew that would lead to more havoc and would only give Ethan more reason to act like a criminal and abuse me at his whim.

His eyes raked over my body and I almost saw a flicker of what could be mistaken for lust, but I knew all too well. I disgusted Ethan he had made that clear not to mention he always bragged about how I wasn't his type. So it couldn't be lust, right?

I didn't know if it was what I said downstairs that angered him but I knew one thing. Whatever he was going to do he was going to enjoy it and I sure as hell wasn't.

"get rid of your dress" I could feel my eyes bug out when the word left his lips, making me question my hearing.

He was nuts if he thought I was going to undress infront of him. I had no idea what side of Ethan I was dealing with, but I didn't like it one bit at least my mind didn't.

I felt a surge of heat ride through my skin when his stare kept boring into me.

"no" I whispered instead, even though I wanted to shout the words.

"don't make me repeat myself" he gritted, his tone was dead serious.

"I'm not taking it off" I defended. Staring down at my body clutching my teal coloured dress tighter. I was fighting the urge to obey him because everything in his tone indicated it was in my best interest to obey.

When I looked back into his eyes and truly confirmed that what I saw was nothing but angry lust, all my body wanted to do was obey but my mind suddenly wanted answers.

Ethan had never looked at me this way, with nothing but lust and anger coexisting, creating a heady mixture in his eyes. My breath nearly caught.

"I gave you a chance to make this easy, play times over"

What?!

He yanked me down by my ankles until I was flat on my back, he then stood up straight and deftly discarded his shirt until I was staring at the make of his strong chest. My stomach flipped, I felt desire swamp my belly despite the heat that started in between my thighs the fear was heavy in me. I didn't know his intentions or maybe I did I just didn't want to acknowledge them.

"I want that dress off!"

The force of his yell nearly shook me to my core, I started pleading with him, I couldn't say no anymore he held the control or maybe I didn't want to say no out of fear maybe. It's what I told myself anyway.

His hands latched around the thick leather belt against his waist, and the oxygen in the room ceased. I felt the blood drain out of my face.

Oh no

Despite my thighs shutting to try and subdue the effect that had awoken in my libido. My eyes couldn't help but stare at how his jeans hang low around his waist. It was almost as if to tease only bringing attention to the hard V that defined his waistline, doing little justice to tame my eyes. The happy trial that began below his belly button disappeared with the V, it really made me wonder where they all met.

I couldn't quite wrap my head around the fact that Ethan had began to physically affect me. I knew he was attractive but, I never thought I'd get attracted. I always thought I was immune, through out middle school and part of high school I had watched him grow. I had seen many girls start to take notice in his physical changes but he never seemed to affect me, it was always the unusual, unnerving feeling, nothing more. Although, to some extent it was twisted considering he had already unleashed his menacing side to me and yet here I was wondering how his d**k looked like.

Oh gawd Elena

I swallowed hard and mentally slapped myself for checking him out knowing full well he just stripped off his belt.

He c****d his head to one side with a smirk, his eyes glinting with mischief.

"I haven't even touched you virgin and your eyes are already yelling f**k me" he lightly chuckled.

I felt my annoyance rise and my brows furrow, I didn't want him to f**k me at least my mind didn't. I wasn't ready for s*x, I had avoided it all these years because I knew I had to wait till I felt completely comfortable. My body might have not known my minds intentions but I wasn't to blame.

"that's not true" I breathed, wondering why breathing always had to be difficult around Ethan especially now that he was partly naked.

"oh please Elena, s*x starts in the mind and don't try to convince yourself otherwise because your body is enough evidence, imagine what I'd find if I took your panties away"

His sardonic smile spread wider, I knew my panicked expression probably contributed to his darkening grey eyes. I felt conflicted. He was wrong I loathed him and my body couldn't just tell the difference but, I knew exactly how I felt about him.

"I hate you Ethan, don't forget I'm not even here on my free will".

"no one forced you"

"you're f*****g blackmailing me" I rose up using my elbows for support, I knew I couldn't move any further because Ethan would practically pin me back.

"which only means you have a choice and yet here you are"

"that's not true, this is my only choice"

"is it? Maybe you're just here to satisfy your own desires"

No he's wrong.

"I don't even want to be here, plus there's nothing you can satisfy I don't desire you. I loathe you" I saw his jaw clench with a rhythmic tick concurring and anger flickered in his eyes. I regretted my words immediately.

His left hand seized both my wrists in a swift move, placing them above my head. His left knee pried my thighs open everything felt like it happened in a blink. Before my thoughts could even process his next actions I felt his long fingers shove inside my panties, regret and shame flooded me instantly because I knew what he'd find. His eyes were staring into mine nothing but dark lust and anger stared back at me. The glint in his eyes only confirmed his happiness because he knew he was right, when I felt his fingers slowly rub my c**t and the wetness coating my entrance I just wanted to crawl under my bed.

My skin was probably flushed, I bit my lip to try and suppress the moan that wanted to get out and completely convince Ethan he was right. Heck this was enough proof the fact that I was aroused by him despite having this growing hate for him was completely f****d up.

He rested his cheek against mine, his stubble making a shiver ride through me as it grazed against my skin.

"I can feel plenty of desire Elena, warm, slick, wet, I need you to hate me so that it could be all the more satisfying stripping away your virginity and watching you giving up to me" his words were harsh, hot and forceful. He wanted to strip away my virginity? The thought rang in my head.

"it's just biology, my body can't help but react this way" I tried to convince myself even if I felt otherwise.

"except desire has nothing to do with biology"

Was he right? He couldn't have been?

A whimper escaped my mouth when his fingers continued to rub against my folds stopping a few of my senses, I wanted to stab myself, how could I be enjoying this?

"you can't fight it virgin" he suddenly rose nothing but satisfaction coating his face, his hands were still in my panties and a part of me felt utterly ashamed while another felt completely turned on.

What sort of sick twisted torment did he just unleash. He gave my c**t a final slap, coercing a yelp from my mouth before his fingers finally stopped the teasing, I watched with more desire swirling in my belly as his fingers coated with my wetness disappeared into his mouth. I stared at him incredulously it was a hot thing to watch and my insides quivered.

I saw the anger and lust appear again in his eyes, this time there was also a hunger, hunger to devour. One that wouldn't stop until everything was completely and utterly consumed. One thing I knew for sure was I was the thing that was going to be devoured, his eyes already assured me of that. My body wasn't accustomed to this kind of arousal, my c**t had started a steady throb just by his gaze regret was running loose in my head.

His hands let go of my wrists but I didn't have the strength to move them, at some point I could feel my conscious start to fail me and the euphoria of horny start to take over.

Ethan grabbed the belt from where he had thrown it and proceeded to bind my hands with the leather strap a cry of fear escaped my mouth but I couldn't stop it so I didn't fight back.

"you don't have to tie me up" I offered as he sealed the belt. I ignored how out of breath I sounded and tested the make shift restraints, it was tight against my skin.

He didn't touch me after he tied me up, he just continued to stare at me curiously. It was like he finally acknowledged the fact that I was human and not some vile creature.

"I like you tied up" goosebumps coated my skin at how incredibly menacing and yet breath ceasing those words sounded.

His hands started to trail the inside of my thighs, and I watched his finger tips trail my skin leaving sensitive skin in its wake. When he touched the fabric of my panties my thighs instinctively closed in protest. Not only from the fact that I was embarrassed but also from the fact that I didn't want to show how easily I had given in.

Despite my efforts, it did little to stop his carnal determination when he easily parted them open. A salacious smile was plastered on his face and his eyes seemed almost dark due to the dilation for some reason it sent a whimper out of my mouth.

I didn't recognize myself, how could I be letting the very person who took advantage of my vulnerability do this to me. He was right, desire has nothing to do with biology.

He disappeared from view and my heart rate quadrupled.

"f**k you're wet " his hot breath whispered in between my legs against my sensitive skin, I writhed against the sheets, squirming. I almost wanted to respond. I couldn't believe my ears, but my thoughts went scattering when he pulled my underwear to the side and I felt the flick of his hot, wet tongue against my entrance. It felt like an electric current had gone through me sending my back to arc off the bed, my eyes screwed shut and I let myself adjust from that little spice of pleasure.

Gawd it feels amazing.

"Ethan please" I whimpered and moaned.

"call me Master" he mumbled. I had forgotten his unusual declaration to be called master. I could care less though, my body was craving for the sweet sensation his tongue had unleashed.

His large hands gripped my thighs roughly, right before I felt his lips latch against my c**t and I knew all hope was lost.

"oh god" I moaned.

"it's me Elena, not god, Ethan, your master" he groaned and I almost damned him from moving his lips off my aching p***y.

My c**t throbbed at the sound of his gruff heady voice saying those words.

Again all too soon he was back to sucking, pushing his tongue further inside me.

An inhibited shrill left my mouth, my retrained hands fought against the belt. For some reason I wanted to clutch is dark hair, to hold him in place instead of pushing him away. My body writhed and convulsed, his tongue was skillful in it's relentless torture, sucking, licking, flicking I'd never felt like this before so utterly turned on. I could feel my own juices ooze out of me, I couldn't even keep my eyes open as they started to flatter. I was extremely breathless.

"Master" I whispered breathlessly, his tongue felt like a hot wet massage that I never wanted to end. Calling him master in this very moment only added to my arousal.

"it's me making you feel good, it's me who's gotten your p***y this wet"

It was him making me feel this way all these wild emotions, his grip on my thighs couldn't possibly get any tighter as he groaned and kept on licking me like his dear life depended on it, I felt like mine did too. I could see his dark haired head bobbing in between me. My hips started to move on their own accord and push into him, against his tongue my body wanted more of what Ethan was offering.

"keep f*****g my mouth like that"

"yes" I moaned in response to his words, my body grew hotter and even as my mind did its best to bring my senses in order my body was craving for that sweet, sweet release. His tongue darted inside my walls again, my body immediately shuddering and I felt my stomach stiffen, I could practically hear the blood singing in my veins.

His scented sheets killed my screams as I turned off to the side crying out in pleasure, my arousal seemingly increasing. His tongue felt long and hit inside my walls, inside the delicate surface of my insides which automatically clenched against him with heavy need.

His talented mouth sucked onto my c**t forcing tingles to spread all over my skin and my eyes went flattering he felt impossibly close and yet so far.

My body wanted to feel more of him, for just a second I loathed myself and how I'd crave for someone I should have despised but my body didn't know any better, because if it did I wouldn't have been spread like a wanton slut.

"come on my tongue Elena, come for your master"

It only took his words to bring me to the edge and push me over till I was falling into bliss, a loud yell ripped through my lungs as my body shuddered and convulsed against him my legs quaking around him.

He didn't stop sucking which only prolonged my blinding orgasm. I had never felt this way before and it felt so good, too good. Not even Stephen made me feel this good and I loved the guy.

The quivering jolt rippled through me over and over, like an electric current through my system charging me up till my limbs felt numb and a deep sensation of relaxation took over. I was still struggling with catching my breath and keeping my eyes open.

"f**k!" I heard Ethan grunt as he detached him self from me. My legs fell lifelessly on his bed, the feeling was too overwhelming for me to control how carelessly they dropped.

"you taste better, than you seem" I felt a blush creep up on my skin. I tried to ignore the flurry of wings that erupted in my belly. Those were the last words I heard him say as I watched him disappear into the bathroom through heavy eyes.

***

I could hear chatter somewhere in the distance and was wondering who the hell could be in my room having a conversation.

*she's here... I felt like it... They still aren't talking huh... Mind your business Tobias*

Ethan.

It was by the scent of his sheets that I realised I wasn't in my room, I was in his. The events that had occurred came rushing back in my head with such speed that had me shoving off the bed. When I fully processed the events that kept playing like a video on loop mode. I was suddenly filled with shame and disappointment even though I could feel my skin heat up, I barely even recognized the presence of Ethan.

He was to blame for all of this, he confused me and took advantage because he knew one way or another I couldn't defy him.

"do you always wake up like that?" his deep voice spoke from somewhere behind me, I could almost hear his smile. I was probably the cause of that smile, not that I made him happy in the bullshit love type of way only because I was his dummy one that he could torture and torment at his whim.

"we shouldn't have done that" I shook my head vehemently. For a moment I wanted it to be a dream I wanted it to be made up. Like maybe I experienced an alternate universe and I was now back in my own world, but the bruising on my wrists and my sans culottes body said otherwise.

A memory of his tongue against my entrance, came back to torment my existence and my body shivered. Not only from the arousing memory but also from the cold dread that filled my tummy.

"don't tell me you feel ashamed" he snapped. What else was I supposed to feel?

For some unknown reason I didn't want to face him, I didn't want to look him in the eyes. I knew exactly what I'd see and I preferred to avoid it.

"what do you think?"

"you have no ounce of decency so why should you be ashamed?"

"what's that supposed to mean?" my gaze wondered off to the picture of the woman, trying to seem unaffected by his words.

What did he mean I didn't have decency?

"you gave it up so easily Elena. Really makes me wonder how many guys you've been with"

"I didn't have a choice!" I bit out infuriated by his words. Plus I've never been with anyone, Stephen was my first real kiss and now Ethan had given me my first orgasm. How could I have said no knowing full well he'd black mail me.

"didn't you? I didn't force you I'd never force you, your mind betrayed you long before your body did" no... He's wrong.

"that's not true"

"if it isn't, why were you already wet before I even touched you? It all begins in the mind. Desire has nothing to do with biology Elena. You're smart enough to know that" before I could respond to his words I heard the door bang closed, my body jumping at the sound. I brought my hands to my face placing it in my palms hoping the reality of things would change.

How could I have desired Ethan, how could I be so stupid and let him touch me.

Is this what Lily felt?

Desire, confusion, blackmail. You could call it whatever but one thing I knew for sure was that I wanted out of this house. I needed to salvage a few parts of myself and leave before everything could be completely ripped apart. Even though I couldn't find my underwear and I knew I'd leave part of my dignity if I left like that I couldn't care any less. At least I cared enough to leave!

Ethan was clearly a distraction and waking up in his bed for the second time wasn't going to do me any good.

I just needed to regroup my thoughts and find a way of getting that phone and deleting those pictures. Part of me was thinking he didn't only have them in that phone I knew he was too smart to only have the ones in his phone, as far as I'm concerned I was sure he had print outs and even had them backed up.

I needed to find a way to turn things around, my eyes lingered around the room as if in search for something to use against him. I got the sense he wasn't that stupid as to leave anything incriminating but who knew luck could have been on my side.

Oh who was I kidding it was never on my side.

My eyes trailed off to the photograph of the woman on the wall. She was really beautiful and I was wondering why there was a mysteriously unsettling resemblance to Ethan.

Could she be related to him? It suddenly hit me that I had never seen his mother before, the woman in the photograph seemed old enough.

But why did she seem so out of the picture in his life, that's if she was the one.

A part of me wanted to ask him, but I realized Ethan and I weren't in any position that would allow for such a conversation to be sustained.

Why do I even want to know? Maybe because it could shed some light on why he suddenly became this way? And might just be the thing I needed to set myself free from his clutches.

*you're just like her*

The words played in my head again. Who did he mean? Who was I like? I turned my head away shaking off the thoughts. My eyes wondered off to the the brown chest of drawers that stood in contrast to the grey of the wall. My body was screaming no and my head was yelling yes, when I wondered off to the chest of drawers eyeing the door in caution.

I should have refrained from pulling such a stunt considering the events of the day. But heck I was desperate I couldn't bare the amount of physical and emotional strain Ethan was unleashing.

I held the ornate chest by the golden crafted handle and opened the first chest. There were a few pictures of him and Tobias, his father and also of him, his father and a woman I couldn't recognize.

There was a pink coloured journal with a little green leaf embroidered on the front leather cover, I knew it couldn't possibly belong to Ethan but I wondered why he had it. I perused through the pages but to my disappointment they were blank. I was just about ready to give up until I saw a white folded paper stuffed in between the straw coloured pages as if to be inconspicuous.

I stared back at the door, feeling a cold sweat start to assault my skin as I opened the note.

My dear boy,

I never chose this path, a path that would lead me far away from you and make you despise my existence. I always thought I did every thing for your own good, I tried to convince myself I was a good mother but it was too late and by the time I realized the damage had already been done. You deserve someone better and your father will give you better. Never forget I did this for you, it was the last good thing I could do.

Yours sincerely Margaret, your mother.

What!?

"what are you doing?!"

My heart jumped out of my chest when I heard his voice admonish those words and my body went rigid in an instant. In that very moment I wanted to disappear but I also knew this time I was done for.