I Will Love You

I never understood why as a child I did not like the silence and the dark, I got used to playing all day among the lavender in the garden with my sisters and running through the wheat fields to hide from Daddy's scolding, but as night fell I was scared, I didn't like the idea that pitch would involve the house sooner or later. Maybe I didn't like the silence because I was never alone, I am the middle of 5 siblings and since I was born I heard voices around the house, my brothers fighting or chattering, but in truth it is that silence and darkness now bring me a comforting feeling peace. Watch the starry sky through the window while enjoying one of the few minutes of silence that we have in the house. Maybe when I was a kid I was very taken, ah ... I certainly was, I remember Mom's incessant screams telling me to come down from the pen and Dad's screams telling me to stop scaring the chickens with Diana. Too taken to appreciate the few moments I had alone, such as punishments. In spite of everything, I was happy, hopping around the farm, but time passes and responsibilities come with it. I divert my attention from the dark garden to the huge room, with three empty wooden beds and a single lamp keeping ambient lighting in place. I remember when this room was full of scattered clothes, fights and gossip between me and my sisters, at the time it seemed tiny for three girls, but now I feel like it's too big for me. He grew up as the girls left the house, the first was Talia, after marrying a beautiful Baron bringing mommy pride and wealth to herself. We never knew how Tália lives today, I like to imagine that in a cream-colored mansion, filled with employees to take care of each of her children, which I also don't know if she had. A few years later, Diana, my adventure companion, left the home, who married an Earl, also bringing family pride and wealth to herself, for Diana's house I like to imagine something classic, because that's what she I liked it when we were younger, a big and spacious white house, with a pond and a stable in the back, beautiful puppies and a huge garden in front for all of them to play, and of course, many employees. I confess that I miss seeing both of them nervous when Mom came to announce the arrival of their suitors. The two did not shout because it would be inelegant, considering that it would be possible to hear from the visitors' room, but only me and Mom knew the fighting ring that this room became because of some dress. I sigh long, opening a weak smile as I get up from the armchair positioned in front of the windows. I place my book on the side table, next to the flower pot, which unfortunately are dead. And I go to my bed, pull the sheets and sit on the uncomfortable mattress, ready to sleep. - Lily.- I open my eyes scared, facing my father.- We need to talk ... A million thoughts invade my mind, I look away from the window and see a beautiful blue sky with some clouds. I sit on the bed still trying to assimilate the scare. - Sure, but can I get dressed at least? Dad smiles, showing his wrinkles below his eyes and nods away from the bed. I run my hands through the brown strands of my hair as I prepare to get up. After long minutes rolling, I do it, getting up already doing a bun in my hair and taking a white dress. Once ready, I leave my room, still worried about what Daddy has to say to me, I'm afraid it might be something involved with Mom. My mother fell ill a few months after Diana's departure, she lost consciousness and her mind fell ill with her body, leaving her disabled, she does not speak and depends on me for everything, since Dad and her other two children spend the day all in the field taking care of our plantations. Already in the middle of the stairs, I catch sight of Dad and my two brothers Christopher and Mael, which clears up my doubts about being serious and stupidly bad. - Here I am! - I say putting myself in front of them. The serious face of the three of them does not deceive me, for sure some nonsense will come out of someone's mouth. - Lily ... - My father says in a sad tone.- I've been thinking, alone, before he swears at his brothers.- He puts both hands together looking at me with his piercing brown eyes.- You are about to turn eighteen, and not yet got married and has no suitor, me and your mom imagine this house surrounded by handsome men and good families waiting to ask for your hand, instead you refuse to go into town and spend the day taking care of an invalid mother and four men.- I open my mouth to argue.- And after much evaluation of the situation I decided that the best option for you and your future is to send you to Davos, with Diana. - Do you think I should leave here because I didn’t have the luxury of leaving and did I prioritize my family? - Like I said, some nonsense was going to come out. - That's pathetic. The beautiful image I created about Diana's life is now deteriorating, with the hypothesis that she has accepted me just because she feels lonely and unhappy in her beautiful classic home. - It's not pathetic Lily.- Mael sighs.- We really appreciate you staying with us, but you need to go and build your life just like Talia and Diana did. - Yes, this is pathetic, you don't even know how to cook an egg and you think you can take care of yourself? - I force a sarcastic smile.- And worse, take care of a woman on the verge of death? My dad gets up from the couch and walks over to me. His large, rough hands travel my arms calmly until he holds my hands, his eyes stare at mine all the time. - Your brothers are getting married. - My father dumps out the information. - On one of the trips to the city at your request, they met beautiful girls from a great family, we would like you to go to Diana's house before their wedding. - What? I feel the breath in my lungs and then he looks away from the two ragged goofs sitting on the couch with their heads down listening to everything. - I ... - I look for the words in my head.- I .. I'm really happy for you, but it's crazy to send me to my sister's house when all Daddy does is stay in the country, who will take care of mom? The two calmly get up and walk over to me, they both kiss me on the cheek and leave the room without any explanation. - Let's sell the house Lily.- My father says softly.- I found a great house for the elderly, and with the money from your wedding, which would be for your wedding, I will use to pay… Wait ... Does he think I'm going to be a spinster? Does he think I will never fall in love and get married? He has no hope for "Lily and Her Family" ... I release my hands from his, pulling away suddenly still processing all that information that was suddenly poured over me without any plausible explanation. I honestly can't think of anything to justify such actions on the part of my father, nothing that can comfort my heart and calm my now troubled mind with everything that was planned behind my back. I feel betrayed for not having participated in this planning, this is my home too! I can't let them decide everything like that.