I Will Love You

Chapter 1

One thing I've always hated about this house is the fact that you can hear everything from the second floor, being on the second floor, like now where my brothers are with the suitors and I'm with mommy.

- Did you know that they are going to get married? - I question, obviously with no answer.- Yes mom, your two youngest children are going to get married and leave home...- Sigh.- Just like the two older ones.

I turn my gaze to her, and take a deep breath watching the green glazed eyes on the ceiling, without feeling, without that glow that I was so used to see and appreciate. She gradually got lost, one day she forgot her dinner and cried liters in the room apologizing, then she forgot my father's name and so it was, until she forgot who she herself was, then she started losing her movements, plates and glasses were accidentally broken, Until the day we were woken up by screams of despair and daddy rushing out after a doctor, she didn't move her legs anymore, the doctor said that maybe her brain was deteriorating, and it didn't take long for all she could do was talk and move her eyes, until it was taken from her too. Now she tapes the ceiling every day, all the time.

- If it's there...- I breathe in taking the cloth I used to clean your window. - I hope you're not disappointed I didn't get married before I was eighteen.

I smile as I approach her, put a kiss on her cheek feeling my lips touch her dry and soft skin, before leaving the room and meeting Mael and her irrefutable invitation to meet Lyn and Janis.

The boys stopped seeing her, the sicker and invalid she got, the less they crossed the bedroom door to see her condition and now all they do is stare from the door leaf or glance as they pass by the room.

- How nice that I found you! - Mael says calmly.- They want to meet you...

I always knew that moment would come, sooner or later. Mael with fifteen and Christopher with sixteen, engaged...

- Tell them I'm busy.

Mael sighs and takes a step towards me, his hand gently touches my shoulder while his light green eyes like Mom's become an intense dark.

- Lily, please, I know this means a lot, but...- He takes a break, probably to look for words.- It's important.

I'm being selfish of neglecting important things for my family, and hypocritical considering that my speech to prevent my departure is my family, so maybe for the first time it's a decent attitude to meet my brothers' future wives.

- All right!

Mael smiles animatedly as she takes my hand and pulls me to the floor below. Mom when she was sane, she always dedicated herself to leaving me, Diana and Talia dressed nice and pretty to get attention, so she'd probably be screaming her head off to meet my brothers' partners.

- Mael announces Lyn, Janis...- He exchanges glances with Christopher. - This is Lily, our older sister.

I give a smile to the girls by my side. They both present themselves politely, of course after judging my dress and my hair. Lyn is blonde with intense blue eyes, the curls perfectly shaped in her hair, the baby blue hat matching her dress. Janis is a brown-eyed redhead, her hair is half-tied letting the red hair strands form waves on her back, in contrast to the emerald green dress.

- It's a pleasure - I lie - I hope they make you happy, they are good boys, although they are a little clumsy sometimes.

My brothers give me a proud smile by looking at me.

I already did what they wanted, I think it's a good time to go back to the work of keeping the farm in order, like mom used to do.

- We are so sorry about your mom!- Lyn says.- Cristopher told me you would be in her room, we would love to meet her.

I frowned at the two boys, who now looked at each other worried.

- Thank you!- I force a smile.- Unfortunately it won't be possible, she doesn't get along with unexpected visitors in her room...

- Of course...

In the midst of so much work, I didn't realize that the night was falling, I rushed to serve dinner for the three of them and try to feed mommy with some broth, before letting her sleep in the midst of prayers for some miracle to happen during the dawn that will make her wake up being her the next day.

As I said, you can hear everything that happens on the second floor, and of course I'm hearing the two fools in love talking about their princesses without a castle while daddy feeds all that excitement with the wedding. It's inevitable not to imagine the two youngest with the biggest face of fool in love, the bright eyes and the involuntary smile decorating their stuffy face.

I focus on giving the rabbit broth to mommy, and ignore all the mess that happens downstairs. I wipe her mouth with a cloth when I finish all the broth. I put the object on the side table, to throw it what after much practice became an easy and fast work. 

I go down the stairs fast enough for them to hear my arrival with the deafening creaking of the steps. I cross the dining room quickly and quietly, hearing things like "Lyn is the girl I always wanted for me" and "I'm happy my son". I approach the sink with the porcelain plate in hand, wash it quickly and soon hear the steps behind me, the boys put the dishes to my right and kiss my forehead before leaving and dad does the same, but if you lie on the island in the center of the kitchen, I even know what you will say.

- How much longer will you reluctant?- He says firmly.- Lily, I only want the best for you.

I exhale loud enough to indicate that I'm ignoring him while I wash the dishes.

- Lily...- He calls me.- Lily Catherine Meyer.

I put the last plate on my left and then I pull out a cloth to dry and put it away. As soon as I turn to put it away, I see a not-so-pleasant look on my father's face.

- You remind me a lot of your mother when I met her.- He gives a tired smile and lowers his head.- She was supposed to have married someone else, but her stubbornness brought her to me.- He raises his eyes, sad and dull like his mother. I remember one day I went to visit her, I could hear her mother saying "Sole, this marriage won't benefit you or our family", at first it hurt, but she passed when I heard her answer "But it will bring me happiness".- He had a low laugh.- Her father hated me, even in our marriage he made it clear "Lian you will never be enough for Sole".

I return to my function, keeping all the dishes while I listen carefully to what my father has to say.

- I had a happy life with her mother Lily, before Talia arrived this house was big, but in the corner I had love and happiness, I didn't mind spending the whole day in the country in the sun or in the cold if at the end of the day I would sit with her for dinner, and would look at that beautiful smile, that made the whole day of work worthwhile.- He comes close, taking the cutlery and the cloth from my hands, keeping them in their proper places.- I love Lily, I love her so much that I think it's impossible for her to become the fearless and stubborn woman she was... God knows how stubborn she was. He returns his attention to me. Just as you are sweet, maybe you don't remember, but when you were afraid at night, you would hide in our sheets and she would tell you the story of an overwhelming love, so intense that it barely fit in our breasts.

- Dad, I...

- And you were asleep listening to this.- Your rough hands landed on my face and your brown eyes stared at me.- You dreamed of that love and I know that now you have given up on it, I know that after your mother got sick, you gave up on it, but Lily she is gone...- My eyes are filled with tears.- That woman I share the bed with is called Sole, but she is not my wife, she left us Lily and you cannot hold on to the hope that one day she will come back, because she won't.- I can see his eyes full of tears too.- Recover that will to live a love as intense as the one I lived with your mother and go after him Lily, please accept to go to Diana's house?

Since she started to stay in bed I gave up many things to take care of her, the girls were already married and the boys were learning to take care of the crops, so I left to take care of her and since then I dedicated myself to the maximum, from the first confusion of words until they no longer go out, and understand that my mother will never return to be what she was represents that everything I did was in vain, and I know it was not, but seeing her in that sad state and go away would leave me guilty for the rest of my life.

- Diana is my best option?-I'm worried.

Once again my father was right, I need to stop neglecting myself to give attention to an impossible hypothesis... Maybe going far away, knowing a different place, will make me become another person, who knows a Lily I would like to meet...