Crave You: A Novel

Chapter 10

                            Scott

His touch lit a fire in me. He lightly runs his fingers up my arm, like there's no other he's stroked ever.

I look at him, his face. I see his smirk shining exuberantly. Is this the Matt I've seen before?

Being in his embrace is enough for me to remind myself why I'm here. Here, in his apartment. I told myself I would be quick. I don't know if I'm doing that. Because I don't know how much I've begun to trust my words.

"This was amazing," Matt said, sighing, wrapping his arm around my waist tightly.

"It was alright," I teased him. I don't give him the satisfaction of making me stay in his arms.

I pull away, smiling, and reach down to retrieve my t-shirt.

"What do you mean it was alright?" Didn't I stick to my promise?"

"Sure you did. But, not like you usually stick your way."

"Is that so?" Matt said, shifting his weight.

    I felt the bed move underneath me until I heard him whisper seductively in my ear, "Why don't I show you my other best way?" 

"Up for round two already?"

"Why not?" He pulled me close and turned my chin. Matt latched his lips as soon as it met mine. I could taste his strawberry mint, faintly, but his soft tongue didn't need to do the tango with me. Then, already, his hand was slipping inside my briefs. But, I've to resist.

If I give in, I won't be able to stop myself. I'm here for something else. When I see his peering gaze, Eva's words echo in my mind. I close my eyes, sharply. I kiss him the way he likes. I focus on the intensity as I focus on removing the image of Eva precariously laughing at me.

I taste him more. I taste the sweetness in his mouth. A little sour. A little fruity. Just as he pulls my briefs, I playfully push his hand away.

"What?" Matt asked, confused.

"Let's do it later. I've to be somewhere." I lied.

I didn't plan what I would do the rest of the day after spending time with Matt. I take my jeans, pull the phone from my pocket, and type, How's, your day going on?

Friendly. Non-controversial. Unsuspicious. I shoot the text. And wait.

Nothing. I get nothing. I see a double tick. But I don't see it turning blue.

I check the time. It doesn't show me the real-time status. She's kept her profile private. Except, I see her smile. I see her profile picture, staring at me as if she's smiling at me.

"Hey, can you pass my laptop?" Matt said, as his forehead crinkled up.

"When are you not working?"

"I'm the CEO. I've to work every day,"

"Yeah, right. What next? Multi-tasking during s*x?"

"Don't give me ideas, Scott," Matt said before chuckling weakly.

I look at him. Into his alluring eyes. I try to find the Matt I saw minutes ago. But, all I see is someone obscure.

He put on his glasses and I hesitated to share the matter about us. About the photograph.

"I'm not that heartless, Scott. Just because I'm busy working, doesn't mean I'm ignoring you," Matt said, serious.

I know that he's bent on building a brand. Which is something the media doesn't want to brandish. Unless the tycoon's son could jump ahead of his father. The truth, he will always be reminded of his legacy. One way or the other, he'll be attached to his family. Matt doesn't see it. He doesn't want to.

We stay quiet. I don't say anything. I don't know what he wants to hear.

"How did it go with Eva?" Matt asked, surprising me again.

The question made me anxious. I pluck my jeans from the chair. I start dressing slowly. As if this question would be forgotten. As if I would say something, subconsciously, absent-mindedly. And things would be normal between us. But I know, when I answer, I wouldn't be able to look at him.

"Uh, she's her usual self. Conniving. Hateful and ungrateful,"

"The same? I've never met your aunt but definitely, I can picture the bonding between you two,"

"Try meeting, Eva. You'll love her,"

"If I meet her, it would be one of California's soap operas. I think. From what I've heard and I know, it's best to say, I'm good and you being the saint son, please continue,"

"Saint son? I'm anything but a saint,"

"That I know," Matt kissed the back of my head before returning to his screen.

I turn. I look at him. I don't know if I should tell him. Eva is a nutcase. A ruthless woman. Matt would lose it possibly if I tell him.

Everything might shatter. He would freak out. And blame me.

Ultimately, I may be the one, he would point his fingers. The scandal will remain. And his father would disown him.

I don't have much money in my account. When I see Matt scrunch his nose, adjust his glasses, it makes me feel petty. I imagine myself asking him for money.

The thought drowns me in guilt. I can't do that. I've never done this. I've never asked for money from Matt. We've always split. If anything, neither of us have ever asked to borrow even when I was running low.

This is too much to bear.

I can't let Eva leak that picture of us.

What if Eva is lying? What if she's playing with me? She might have the information but does she have the picture, for real?

I'm confused. Addled. I get up and again, try to face Matt.

I look at his tensed jaws. I watch him take a sip from his bottle while still fixated on the screen.

Will sharing with him ease the situation? Would Matt understand why we need to do this? Would he allow me to explain?

These questions are spiraling me into a pit of doubts.

"Something in your mind?" Matt asked, not looking up. I want to tell him how I need him to understand. I force myself, to blurt it out. I tell myself, why won't he? Just let it out. All I'm able to say is, "No, nothing. I was just, uh," Before I could make something up, I heard my phone ring.

Kayla?

I don't know why I didn't think about her. It's the perfect excuse to get myself out, whoever is calling. If she's calling.

I, quickly, grab the phone from the ruffled sheets. Before I could feel relief, I saw Chance Institute flashing on my screen.

"Now what,"

"Scotty boy, it's your dear aunt,"

I don't reply. I don't breathe. I thought this day couldn't get any more difficult as it's been already.

I exit the room. I don't look back. I take myself to the kitchen. I smell the dull breeze of bleach. I settle at the counter and drop another stale apple.

"What? No hello? I thought you were raised good,"

I don't say anything. I don't reply. I sit still. I don't move. I want to hear what she wants to tell me.

"Ah, well, Scotty. Looks like I'm going to blubber. Fine, be it that way. I know you're on the line, anyway," She said indifferently as if this is normal between us.

"Three days are up. Where's the money? You know you have a great excuse to visit your aunt again. But, I've to remind you, you don't have all day. One word. That's all it takes to reach the tabloid," Eva snickered. The line crackled with amusement.

I wasn't letting it get to me. I rest my elbow, putting pressure on my right. I don't care how long it stays that way. I only hope this is a dream. That Matt would wake me up.

"You're still not going to talk? I assume you're not going to come today. Impressive. Since I'm very generous, I'm giving you one more day. Until tomorrow. If you don't visit me at the end of the day, stay excited to see yourself and your lover featured on the headline." She cut the call.

The line went dead. I went numb when I felt pins and needles crawling all over my body.

That's it. This is my problem. I'll figure a way out.

When I look at this small space, I see my shadow staring at me. Just then, a notification startles me. Now, what more Eva wants. Hasn't it been enough for today?

Okay. I read Kayla's text. I whisper as if I would lose her. 

It takes me back to the night when she said, "We'll see,"

"We'll see what?"

"If we're meant to meet again, we will,"

"You aren't sure. You don't want to see me?"

"I didn't say that," She said, not looking at me. She spots something at the side of my hair as her eyes linger there. She reached out and tucked something loose. And then, looked at me, smiling. The smile I was getting used to.

"I know, we're going to meet. I know you'll meet me,"

"Don't be so sure, Scott. Promises... break,"

"Kayla, I don't know you well. But, I'm starting to understand you. Know you,"

She stuck her tongue to one side of her cheek. She nodded her head. I couldn't help but grin at her. Because every little thing she did and moved was something it made me feel to gaze at her.

"Okay," she said, softly.

We exchanged numbers before she hugged me. I saw her disappear in the dark. That's when I realized, she took a part of me.

When I remember us, I want to live in that minute again. So, I text, without thinking, Meet me tonight. I want to take you somewhere.

     I wait for her reply. After a few seconds, I read her text, Where?

   Somewhere you might like.

   Well, I don't like what you're saying right now.

   Trust me.

   I trusted you with one coffee.

  Trust me again. 

I saw her going offline. But my text was marked blue.

What's she thinking? I stare at her face. The profile picture. Is she smiling genuinely? Or did someone ask her?

It seems she's posed somewhere at a beach. I can't see her eyes beneath her sun hat. I can only see a suppressed smile, trying to hide.

Is she doing that right now? Is she contemplating?

Why am I thinking all this? It's her choice. Of course, I would like to see her again. If only, she feels the same way.

I want to lose myself somewhere I wouldn't have to think about Eva. Till the time I have, this is the best way for me, to decipher what I can do. That's exactly what I wasn't hoping for when Kayla texts me.